Title: The Noble and Most Ancient House of Boredom
Author: Meg Kenobi ([email protected])
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Candyland, flaming house-elves and the facts of life! Set the summer before OotP, mayhem ensues when the Marauders, the Weasleys and the Order of the Phoenix are stuck inside together.
Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed yet, this whole fan fiction bit is all copywrite infringement. I don't own Harry Potter or any of its respective trademarks. I won't sue you, you don't sue me and we'll be a big, happy copy write protected family.
Author's Note: I'm not really that funny. But this amusing idea struck me as to what exactly was going on that summer in the house of Black. Anyway, if this is just lame, sorry. I'll try to update soon. ---
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Boredom
Sirius Black stared at the game board and contemplated his next move. Dumbledore had strictly ordered Remus, the Weasleys, Hermione, Tonks and Sirius not to leave Grimmauld Place until the other Order members arrived. The owl carrying that command had arrived two weeks ago and still there was no sign of the others. Meanwhile, boredom was mounting with in the estate.
"All right," Sirius sighed triumphantly, "I've got it."
"No," moaned Remus, "No, you don't. You don't have the first clue. You're just guessing."
"Quiet, Moony," Sirius growled, "I know exactly what I'm doing. It was White in the billiards room with the revolver." He grinned broadly, put down his cards and opened the 'top secret' envelope. Suddenly, Sirius' face fell. "Professor Plum. Wrench. Conservatory," he read aloud. Ron laughed, Hermione rolled her eyes and Remus dropped an exasperated head to the table top.
"Honestly!" Hermione cried, "Six games in a row, now. No one can win because you keep guessing wrong. Completely ungrounded guesses! Look at this," she gestured at his cards. "White was in your hand! How could she have been the killer?!"
"Told you we should have played Monopoly," muttered Ginny.
"It's not my fault Kreacher ate the hotels!" Sirius retorted hotly, getting to his feet.
"Let's just do something else," Lupin offered quietly, folding up the Clue board.
"Please, please no more high-stakes Candyland," Ron cut in, "I already owe Fred and George five Galleons. No more board games, all right?" There was a long pause as all of Grimmauld's inhabitants tried to come up with something to do.
"We could string Kreacher up by his toes and pretend he's a piñata," Sirius offered.
"HONESTLY!" Hermione shrieked and the assembly groaned, anticipating the coming lecture. Mercifully, Mrs. Weasley chose that moment to enter.
"Lunch is ready," she announced. "Come help me put it on the table." They all leapt up, grateful for the distraction. "Where is that Tonks girl now?" inquired Mrs. Weasley, surveying the group.
"She went up to the roof to work on her tan," Hermione said, frowning in distaste.
"Go fetch her, eh, Moony?" Sirius ordered, nudging his friend who begrudgingly took to the stairs. Sirius returned to carting plates and silverware to the table. An empty silence hung in the room as lunch was set out. Without warning, the quiet was shattered by two feminine shrieks, the slamming of a door and heavy footfalls on the stairs.
Hermione paled and whispered, "You know, Tonks' exact words were, 'I'm going up to the roof to work on my bikini tan lines.' You don't suppose she meant without her--?"
At that moment, Lupin burst into the kitchen, his eyes covered as he muttered something about the most disturbing sight of his life. Tonks clamored close behind, wrapped in only a towel, screaming and chucking dungbombs at Lupin's head.
Sirius sighed ruefully. It was going to be a long summer.
Author: Meg Kenobi ([email protected])
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Candyland, flaming house-elves and the facts of life! Set the summer before OotP, mayhem ensues when the Marauders, the Weasleys and the Order of the Phoenix are stuck inside together.
Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed yet, this whole fan fiction bit is all copywrite infringement. I don't own Harry Potter or any of its respective trademarks. I won't sue you, you don't sue me and we'll be a big, happy copy write protected family.
Author's Note: I'm not really that funny. But this amusing idea struck me as to what exactly was going on that summer in the house of Black. Anyway, if this is just lame, sorry. I'll try to update soon. ---
The Noble and Most Ancient House of Boredom
Sirius Black stared at the game board and contemplated his next move. Dumbledore had strictly ordered Remus, the Weasleys, Hermione, Tonks and Sirius not to leave Grimmauld Place until the other Order members arrived. The owl carrying that command had arrived two weeks ago and still there was no sign of the others. Meanwhile, boredom was mounting with in the estate.
"All right," Sirius sighed triumphantly, "I've got it."
"No," moaned Remus, "No, you don't. You don't have the first clue. You're just guessing."
"Quiet, Moony," Sirius growled, "I know exactly what I'm doing. It was White in the billiards room with the revolver." He grinned broadly, put down his cards and opened the 'top secret' envelope. Suddenly, Sirius' face fell. "Professor Plum. Wrench. Conservatory," he read aloud. Ron laughed, Hermione rolled her eyes and Remus dropped an exasperated head to the table top.
"Honestly!" Hermione cried, "Six games in a row, now. No one can win because you keep guessing wrong. Completely ungrounded guesses! Look at this," she gestured at his cards. "White was in your hand! How could she have been the killer?!"
"Told you we should have played Monopoly," muttered Ginny.
"It's not my fault Kreacher ate the hotels!" Sirius retorted hotly, getting to his feet.
"Let's just do something else," Lupin offered quietly, folding up the Clue board.
"Please, please no more high-stakes Candyland," Ron cut in, "I already owe Fred and George five Galleons. No more board games, all right?" There was a long pause as all of Grimmauld's inhabitants tried to come up with something to do.
"We could string Kreacher up by his toes and pretend he's a piñata," Sirius offered.
"HONESTLY!" Hermione shrieked and the assembly groaned, anticipating the coming lecture. Mercifully, Mrs. Weasley chose that moment to enter.
"Lunch is ready," she announced. "Come help me put it on the table." They all leapt up, grateful for the distraction. "Where is that Tonks girl now?" inquired Mrs. Weasley, surveying the group.
"She went up to the roof to work on her tan," Hermione said, frowning in distaste.
"Go fetch her, eh, Moony?" Sirius ordered, nudging his friend who begrudgingly took to the stairs. Sirius returned to carting plates and silverware to the table. An empty silence hung in the room as lunch was set out. Without warning, the quiet was shattered by two feminine shrieks, the slamming of a door and heavy footfalls on the stairs.
Hermione paled and whispered, "You know, Tonks' exact words were, 'I'm going up to the roof to work on my bikini tan lines.' You don't suppose she meant without her--?"
At that moment, Lupin burst into the kitchen, his eyes covered as he muttered something about the most disturbing sight of his life. Tonks clamored close behind, wrapped in only a towel, screaming and chucking dungbombs at Lupin's head.
Sirius sighed ruefully. It was going to be a long summer.