Title: Home

Author: eMu

Summary: Sirius needs a place to crash over the Christmas break during seventh year. He stays at Remus' and gets a good look at the home that created our favourite little introvert!

Disclaimers: Usual apply.

Feedback: PLEEZE!!! I will be your slave monkey if you send me feedback! I'm [email protected] or [email protected].

"Are you sure someone's coming?" Sirius asked for what seemed like the billionth time. He looked annoyed. I suppose he had the right to be. The two of us were standing in the rain outside the train station wearing Muggle clothes and being splashed by cars that drove through a giant puddle in the street.

"I told you, my mum's never punctual, but she's dependable."

"Remus, she's almost a half hour late. We are the only students from Hogwarts left at this place. Everyone else has gotten home. We should've accepted the ride from James' folks."

"Yeah, I guess."

"How far a walk is it to your house?" Sirius asked. He didn't seem too enthusiastic about the idea of walking anywhere hefting his trunk through the mud and rain.

"We're not walking. It's too long." I walked over to a payphone and called for a taxi. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"So that's why you got that money changed at Gringotts. You're used to this, aren't you?"

"Maybe." I answered quickly, not wanting to get into it. I still thought this was a bad idea. Vehemently thought this was a bad idea. I did not want Sirius staying at my house for the Christmas break.

Of all the Marauders, Sirius is the most vindictive. He looks out for his mates. If anyone messes with any of us, which they rarely do thanks to him, they sorely regret it. It's comforting at times. But my family treats me like shit and it'll be bad enough without him trying to stand up for me and getting himself hurt.

We stood in an awkward silence while we waited for the taxi. He still thought I was mad at him over the Snape incident from last year. True, I hadn't forgotten it, but then, I probably never would. It was too big. But I had forgiven him. He thought that was the reason I didn't want him to stay at my house. Oh well. He'd figure out the real reason soon enough. Sirius is dense, but he's not that dense.

The taxi pulls up and we heft our trunks into the…trunk. It's fairly obvious to me that Sirius rarely travels inside of Muggle transportation like cars and buses. It's also fairly obvious that I do. I rested my head against the window. It was nice and cool, and it felt good against my flushed face. I needed to stop staring at him.

Thing is, we were both wearing Muggle clothes. Coming out in a Muggle train station, it was necessary for all of the students at Hogwarts to wear Muggle clothes to the station. And most pure blood wizards like Sirius aren't too creative about their Muggle clothes. So he was wearing a white t-shirt and tight blue jeans, a very traditional Muggle outfit.

Oh but he looked good in them. Especially soaking from the rain. His wet hair was hanging in his face, he was growing it out now. There were still drops of water sliding down his skin. And that sopping white t-shirt…

Yes, resting my head on the window was a good thing. I could cool my face and hide the flush from him. And I didn't have to look at him. But I think it made him think I was mad at him.

We arrived at my house quicker than I'd expected. I paid the driver. I had exactly the amount of money the journey cost along with a polite tip, which I think Sirius noticed. Yes, this does happen to me a lot.

"Nice place." Sirius said lamely, taking in our overgrown, dead looking lawn with the sad, pathetic apple tree in the center. That tree hadn't grown an edible apple since I was three. The house was in ill-repair. It needed a new paint job, the porch was practically falling in, and there were missing steps up the front. The fence surrounding the house had fallen in in several places.

"Come on." I muttered, pulling my trunk after me. I dragged it up the stairs, and another broke as I did it. Reaching into my pocket, I took out my house key and opened the door. I walked into the hallway, which was, of course, dark and smelling of mold. I flicked on a light. Sirius stared at the light bulb dangling from the ceiling, completely confused.

"This is a Muggle house. We just happen to own it." I explained. "Mum, I'm home!" I called. I could hear the TV on in the living room.

"Oh shit!" Was her eloquent reply. "I was s'posed at pick you up, wazzun I?"

"Slurring already. And it's only one thirty. Great." I muttered. "It's okay, we got a cab." I told her. She walked into the hallway, looking a mess. She was still wearing her pajamas, one of those lacy nighties from Victoria's secret. This one was about as old as I was and looked it. With the smudged make up, obviously from yesterday and slept on, and the cigarette in one hand, beer bottle in the other, she looked quite a sight.

"Who're you?" She demanded of Sirius, looking very suspicious. Or, as suspicious as possible while using the wall for support.

"Mum, this is Sirius Black. Remember, my friend from school? I owled asking if he could stay the break because his parents are vacationing."

"Oh yeah." She murmured, obviously with no recollection of having agreed to let him stay, but not wanting to admit it. "Hope you like the place. Make yerself at home. Y'can sleep in Remus' room. S'upstairs. I'm gonna watch my shows now. Don' be too loud. Jim's sleepin'. Y'know how much 'e hates bein'-hates…being woken up."

"Okay mum." I started up the stairs, but Sirius was still gawking. I grabbed his arm and yanked him up the stairs. He didn't say anything until we got into my room.

"Holy shit! That was not what I expected." He stared at me. "Is she always like that?"

"Typically…yes."

"Who's Jim?"

"Her boyfriend. He lives with us. This is actually his house." I explained, starting to unpack. Sirius hadn't touched his stuff.

"Oh. I didn't know that. Jeeze, and here I thought you didn't want me to come because you were still mad at me."

"I figured as much. C'mon, unpack. Now that you're here, you'll have to make the most of it. I'm pretty sure we have a cot in…Reya's room. Hmm. Mum didn't offer you her room. Oh shit, she must be coming back."

"Who's Reya?" Sirius asked, sitting down on my bed.

"Reya is my older sister. She's living in France now with her boyfriend or something, studying abroad. She wants to be an advanced magical healer."

"I take it you two don't get along?"

"No we don't." With the tone of voice I used, I hoped I'd made it clearly obvious this was not a conversational point I wanted to pursue. Sirius raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment further.

"Reme, where's the bathroom? I'm soaked, I need to change."

"Down the hall, first door on your left. The one with the toilet in it."

"Very funny." He reached into his trunk and pulled out some robes. I sighed. I was going to miss the wet t-shirt look. One part of my brain was distantly aware that staring at his ass while he bent over was not a good idea. 'Oh sod off' I told that part of my brain. 'It's not like he'll notice it. One of the perks of how dense he is. Sweet, sexy, but dense all the same.'

I didn't notice how suspiciously long he had been searching for robes until he stood up and walked to the door. He lingered in the doorway for a minute, wiggled his ass, turned his head and winked at me, and then sauntered off.

I sat down on the bed flushed and embarrassed. Not to mention completely shocked. How had he…?

Never mind that. I was still drenched as well. I pulled off my wet clothes and changed into yet another Muggle ensemble. As we lived near Muggles, we typically dressed like them as well to avoid suspicion. I would have to make note of that to Sirius.

I was about to put on my t-shirt when I heard a lewd whistle. Very quickly, I pulled it over my head and glared daggers at Sirius. "What? Just returning the compliment." He joked innocently. I sighed, exasperated. "You're still dressed like a Muggle."

"We're surrounded by them Padfoot. This is safer than walking around in robes. We don't really need the Ministry officials on our asses."

"Well I only have the one outfit so I guess I'm going to be borrowing your clothes then? Although I'm not as skinny as you. Pants might be a problem." A wicked smile lit his face. "Guess I'll have to wear my jeans then. I got the impression you liked them."

"You're awful, you know that?" I asked, not in the mood for this right now. I really was embarrassed, and I didn't need him rubbing it in. A smarter person than I would have noticed he was trying to flirt with me.

"Mum I don't want to get into it, just shut the hell up!" Reya's voice drifted over to us.

"Don' you talk like that ta me! I'm yur fuckin' mother! You show respect!" Mum answered. From the thuds on the stairs, it sounded like she had pursued Reya. I stuck my head out the door to watch, Sirius at my heels.

"Listen, if he had somewhere else to go, I'd send him there!" Reya yelled. There was a guy in his late twenties standing with Reya, looking fairly uncomfortable. Mum was glaring at him.

"Lissen…we've already got a…guest. Remus 'as his friend here. There's no place for your boyfrin'. I ain't havin' him sharing a…sharing a room with you!"

"Mum that's bullshit! Remus is a fucking poof and he gets to have a male friend in his room with him! It's not fair!" She yelled.

I cringed. "Here it comes." I muttered.

"Don' you say that about your brother! Don' walk away, I ain't done with you!" Mum dropped her beer bottle on the floor and yanked at Reya's arm as she tried to retreat.

"Don't you touch me you drunken whore!" Reya yelled, pulling away. I heard the creak of another bedroom door opening.

"Jim." I whispered. I closed the door quickly and walked to the other side of the room, away from the door. Sirius followed me.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"They woke Jim up. That's not good. We never wake Jim up." I muttered. Sirius looked confused. Two seconds later he understood my obvious fear.

"YOU LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!! SHE BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD GOD DAMMIT!!! YOU, OUTTA MY HOUSE!! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE FUCKING HER UNDER THIS ROOF!!"

"Jim stop it! I'm twenty one, I'm an adult! I can do what I want!" Reya answered.

"She's gotten brave." I whispered.

We heard a loud smack and the sound of Reya hitting the floor.

"Don't you EVER speak to us like that again!! You will show respect for your elders! Now, you leave! I'm going back to sleep, I've had a hard day working!" Jim stomped off to the bedroom. I waited five minutes, then opened my door again and looked out.

Reya was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and crying. The random guy was trying to comfort her. Mum had stalked off someplace. I opened the door wider. She looked up at me and scowled.

"It's not fair. They always treat you better, always let you do what you want." She snapped.

"The hell they do." I muttered.

"Of course they do! They're afraid if they don't placate you you'll eat them come the next full moon." She hissed. Sirius was about to charge into the hallway, but I stopped him.

"Don't bother." I whispered to him. I turned back to Reya. "Well thanks anyway, now both Mum and Jim are going to be surly at best for the rest of the day. I suggest you stay in your room."

"I know that! I'm not an idiot, I've been around them longer than you." She snapped.

"I'll just leave." Her guy friend said.

"No, Jean, stay!" She pleaded. "I can get them to cool down. I don't want to stay here alone."

"We can get a hotel." He said nervously, staring at Jim's bedroom door.

"They won't let me."

"You had a point back there. You're twenty one, a legal adult." Jean said.

"Yeah, but they keep sending me money and that'll stop if I give them lip." Reya pointed out. I walked back into my room.

"I suggest we stay here for the rest of the day. Jim is not pleasant when he's been disturbed." I told Sirius. He nodded.

"I can't believe you let her talk to you like that." Sirius muttered, still angry looking.

"Reya resents me a lot. There's a four year difference between us. She can remember things more clearly than I can. She remembers how different everything used to be…when Dad was still alive and Mum didn't drink and we had money."

"Why is losing all that your fault?" He asked.

"Because…because I went wandering late one night by myself and Dad went after me. That's when I was bit. He jumped in front of the wolf so that I could run away. I got a good start, but I was only four. I couldn't really run. It bit when I was close to our neighbor's yard. They stunned it. Dad died and he was the money maker. Mum couldn't hold a job, she got really depressed when Dad died. She started drinking. Then she started seeing Jim, and she's pretty much with him because he can provide for us. They've been dating for eleven years. It's a mess." I sat down on the bed, staring at my feet.

"Why didn't you tell any of us about it before?" Sirius asked softly.

"Because I don't need anymore pity from you."

"Fair enough. But I only pity because I'm concerned. You don't deserve this. You're too…good." Sirius sat down next to me. "So you're the scapegoat for the family?"

"Yeah, pretty much. It's not going to be a pleasant holiday. Just grit your teeth and bare it like I do. Don't stir anything up. Promise me you won't do anything. Guest or no, Jim will still beat the shit out of you same as anyone else in this house."

"I can't promise that and you know it. I'm too impulsive, I act without thinking."

"Sirius, please! Don't."

The door opened at that moment, preventing Sirius from answering. In came Reya, looking more together than before. Her eyes were still a bit puffy from crying, but other than that she looked her usual callous self.

"I'm going out to get something to eat. You two wanna come?" She asked.

"Depends. What's in the house?" I asked.

"Nothing edible to human beings." She answered.

"Alright."

"Wait. Your friend needs to change. Can't wear Wizarding clothes in front of Muggles you know. What's your name, anyway?" Reya asked, eyeing Sirius.

"Sirius Black."

"Ooo, I've heard about you. My friend's little sister has a crush on you." She looked him over again in a somewhat suggestive manner. "Well, get changed and meet me outside. I'm not going to hang around in the living room waiting for you. I'll be in the car, which will be started. If you're not out in three minutes I'll leave without you."

"Return of the tight jeans." Sirius joked. I flushed again. I tossed a tee shirt at him while he put a drying charm on his pants. I turned around while he changed and then we headed for the door. I was walking very quickly, as fast as I could without running. But I wasn't quick enough.

"Where d'ya think yurr goin'?" Mum demanded.

"Reya's taking us out for food." I said, still heading for the door. She put her hand on it to keep me from leaving.

"You tell that no good little slut that she…actually tell her to bring back some…some food for us. M'hungry." Mum headed back to the living room.

"Okay that was actually kind of funny." I said.

"Uh…I didn't think it was funny." Sirius said.

"You don't spend much time around drunk people, do you?" I asked.

"Well typically I'm drunk when I'm with drunk people. And they're happy drunks. C'mon, your sister's gonna leave without us."

We climbed into the back seat of her car. "Mum wants us to bring back food for her and Jim."

"She can get her own damn food." Reya snarled.

"I don't think you should push them anymore just now." I suggested.

"Yeah well I don't care what you think." Reya made a sharp turn, probably sharper than necessary, that sent me almost onto Sirius' lap. Then she turned sharply in the other direction and I was crushed against the door.

"We're going to die in this car." Sirius decided. I looked at the speedometer.

"Do you think it's wise to go 93 in the rain when the roads are slick?" I asked.

"When you drive, you can make the decisions." She snapped.

A car went by us honking loudly. "Okay, a nun definitely just gave you the finger. Maybe you should slow down." Sirius said.

"Fuck you!" Reya snapped.

"Hmm. Driving with her when she's mad. Well, this was a good idea Remus."

"I know, error in judgment. Sorry." I muttered. I stared at Reya. There were tears in her eyes that were probably blurring her vision. Hmm. Not a good thing. I wondered if she saw that car that was coming out of that side street. No, she didn't.

I reached into the front seat and grabbed the steering wheel, turning it almost all the way to the left. Sirius screamed as the other car scraped against his door. Reya pushed me back into the back seat and pulled over.

"Shit. I lost a mirror, mum's gonna be pissed." She muttered. She took out a cigarette and waited calmly for the other drive to come over and yell at her. Sirius was sitting perfectly still in his seat, wide eyed and staring at the back of the front passenger seat.

After an animated conversation which ended in Reya agreeing to pay for damages to the other car, she let me take the wheel. I don't have a license, but I do know how to drive. Sirius looked impressed.

"That looks a bit more complicated then flying a broom." He noted.

"It's not so bad. At least this car's not a standard. I can't drive standards. Where are we going anyway?" I asked Reya.

"I was thinking McDonalds. Nice and easy." She muttered.

"I hate McDonalds. I can't eat anything there." I replied.

"They make salad." She pointed out.

"Have you ever tried their salad?" I asked, disgusted.

"No, I'm not a stupid vegetarian freak like you. I can eat meat without having a complex." She snapped back.

"Couldn't we just go to Burger King, their food is better anyway." I pleaded.

"No, I hate Burger King! I want a fucking Big Mac! And besides, what can you eat at Burger King that you can't get at McDonalds?" She demanded.

"Well for one thing Burger King makes veggie burgers."

"Well hit the drive through then smart ass." She flicked her cigarette ash into my hair.

"Oh, very mature!" I complained, swatting at it.

"Can you drive with one hand?" Sirius asked, picking at the ash for me.

"I'm a bit more coordinated than Reya, I can drive. But thank you anyway."

"Fuck you!" Reya kicked my seat.

"Don't make me pull over and have you sit up front because I really don't like sounding like a parent." I snapped.

"What about that place?" Sirius asked, pointing out the window.

"Wendy's? You've got to be kidding!" Reya scoffed.

"Give him a break, he doesn't eat at Muggle restraints. No Sirius, just, just no. We don't do Wendy's."

"Okay." He replied.

Sirius looked awfully uncomfortable. Reya was sitting in the backseat with him…that caused me to think. I looked into the rearview mirror. She was rubbing her foot up his thigh and had inched closer to him. He in turn was sitting as far away as possible, but had run out of room to scooch over and was now pressed against the door. I rolled my eyes. Reya always behaved like that.

I turned on the car radio, blaring it as I knew the speakers were right next to Reya's head. She jumped about three feet. Allowing myself a small laugh, I turned the volume down while she glared at me.

"Had to pay you back for that cigarette ash." I said with an innocent smile.

"I'll get you back so much worse for that…creature!" She spat.

Sirius glared at her. I made an unnecessarily sharp right that sent her into the door. "Oops. Damn those quick turns." I muttered unconvincingly. Sirius beamed at me.

I pulled into the McDonalds drive through line. "What are you getting?" I asked her.

"A Big Mac value meal, large sized with coke." She answered.

"Should we get the food for mum and Jimmy here, or at Burger King?" I asked.

"Let's get it at Wendy's." She decided. We both smiled evilly.

"What?" Sirius asked. "What's wrong with Wendy's?"
"Let me put it this way, the only step down from Wendy's is Taco Bell." I explained.

"Ah. Kay."

About twenty minutes later we were back in my room with our fast food. A veggie burger value meal with a large cherry brain freezie for myself, and a number one with cheese and a coke for Sirius.

"Do Muggles eat this stuff on a regular basis? I can feel my arteries getting clogged." Sirius asked.

"Some do. Yeah, this isn't healthy food. Although the veggie burgers aren't that bad for you."

"I had no idea you lived like this. I mean, almost like a Muggle. I mean, are you part Muggle?"

"No. My family is full wizard, but Jim's a muggle and mum's dating him so…you know. Why the sudden interest?"

"Well because I've never thought much about how you lived outside of school before. I don't know, I like to think I know you, James and Peter better than most people. Guess I was wrong in your case. There's a ton I don't know about you."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that. We ate in silence for a few minutes. "If you want to owl around and see if you can stay somewhere else for the rest of the break, I won't be offended."

"No Remus, I want to stay here with you. I wouldn't leave even if Snape was your stepbrother. I wanna hang out with you." Sirius answered.

Well. That's devotion. "You're sure then?"

"I'm sure."

Things went smoothly for awhile. We finished eating and basically chatted in my room. Sirius and I don't usually see each other without Peter and James nearby so we hadn't really ever talked alone before. At eight o'clock mum thumped her way upstairs and into my room.

"Lissen, s'eight so you two need to get to sleep." She slurred.

"Mum, I haven't had a bed time since I was nine." I pointed out, speaking calmly and slowly, so as not to get her ripshit. It didn't work.

"You lissen ta me! I'm yur mother brat! Now get ta bed!" She was standing in front of me, well, swaying in front of me. She spit on my face while she was saying that, but not on purpose. I calmly wiped the spit.

"Okay mum. I need to get the cot from Reya's room for Sirius. Could you please move?"

"Don't yoou give me lip!" She ranted. She raised an arm as though she was going to hit me. I stepped aside and she fell over. I rolled my eyes. Then I was grabbed by my shirt collar by Jimmy and pulled inches in front of his face. His breath hit me full force. It smelled like chewing tobacco and rotting teeth.

"You brats think you can say whatever you want to your poor mother? Do you know what she puts up with to take care of you?" He demanded.

"I know. I'm just trying to-"

He smacked me against the wall, painfully. "Don't you talk back to me either! I'm putting this roof over your head! You know what you are boy? Most folks would've had you put down after you were bit, but no! Your mum stuck by you! You owe her your life twice because of that! First for making you and then for keeping you when you became a monster. Although I don't think it was worth it." He banged my head against the wall again for good measure. Sirius was up and at my side in an instant.

He grabbed Jim's arm with both hands and squeezed until he let go of me. Jim flung him onto the ground. I was a bit disoriented, but I managed to get between myself and Sirius.

"Wait, there's no need to do anything we might regret. I'm sorry I upset you mum. We'll go to bed now like you asked. Sorry Jim. Sorry." I said quickly. Sirius was almost growling, his teeth bared very much like Padfoot. Intimidating as it might have been, it would've helped if he hadn't been slammed onto his ass onto the floor of the hallway.

Jim grunted his assent, and he and my mum went into the bedroom. I helped Sirius to his feet. He stared at me.

"I can't believe you apologized! They should apologize to you!" He hissed. "I would seriously consider doing some bodily harm to anyone who spoke to me the way he just did to you!"

"I know, but there's nothing to be done. I'll get the cot. We don't have to sleep, but we have to make them think we are. Don't get involved again, please."

"He was hurting you!" Sirius argued. "He smashed your head against the wall. Look, there's a dent. And he would've done it again. Are you telling me you would have just had me watch him do it? You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yeah, well life's a bitch."

"Remus…"

"I'll be right back."

I went into Reya's room for the cot. She wasn't there, although she was supposed to be. I figured by the looks of the open window she'd snuck out to be with Jean. I took the cot into my room and unfolded it.

"Yeesh, this is in worse condition than I remember it." I said, noting the yellow stains in the white mattress part of it, and the rips. And the legs looked pretty wobbly. "You take the bed, I'll take the cot." I offered.

"No way. I'm not making you sleep on that. We'll share the bed." He said.

"Come on Sirius-"

He silenced me by gently poking the cot with one finger. It collapsed.

"Okay fine."

I woke up very slowly, one of those vacation induced sort of wakings, when you know you're awake about ten minutes before you open your eyes, but you don't want to accept it. Then I felt finger tips lightly brush over the side of my face. That got my eyes open instantly. I was looking right into Sirius' eyes. I had my head rested on his chest, our legs were twined together…we were basically cuddling.

It took all of three seconds for this to register, at which point I sat bolt upright and backed away from him. My bed is not a big bed. I fell on the floor. He stared at me with an amused expression on his face.

"I'm not sure whether to feel insulted or not. Obviously subconsciously you kinda dig me…but then you go jumping off the bed."

"Shut up!" I stared at the door. Well, obviously no one had seen us, otherwise I would have been woken up with a backhand. "Jim is homophobic! Do not mention this if you want to live." I hissed, still looking at the door.

"Okay. So that's why you haven't come out yet."

"Shut up!"

Sirius, James and Lily, intuitive bunch that they are, had managed to figure out my sexual preference before I had. I still hadn't told anyone, but I was at peace with being gay. However, I knew my "family" (I use the term loosely), would not understand and therefore it was best to pretend I wasn't.

Peter was still completely in the dark about the whole thing, which was a little funny. Funnier still was the fact that he was completely oblivious to Sirius being bisexual. Sirius was not hiding it in the slightest.

If only he had been flirty like this with me in school, anywhere but at my house. I would have responded much differently if I didn't think it meant a good ass kicking later.

We got changed and went downstairs to see if there was any form of breakfast. Mum, Jim and Reya were in the kitchen actually eating at the table. It almost looked normal. Pancakes! Hmm…oh wait. Reya made a run to IHOP. That had to be it. She looked awfully smug about something…

Sirius and I sat down at the table. And that's when I caught the look on Jim's face. And I understood Reya's smugness. The bitch. Oh, but she had done this before. Gotten herself into trouble and then started kissing ass the next day (thus the IHOP) at which point she would dig something up on me to deflect Jim and mum's anger at me so she could be the good child and get her way again.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the outburst. "Reya mentioned something odd that she saw this morning." Jim grunted. I looked up at mum. She wasn't meeting my eyes. It was still only eight in the morning, she was sober. She had a tendency to stick up for us somewhat when she was sober. She walked out of the kitchen and came back with a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. So much for that.

"Really?" I asked innocently, knowing that if I didn't answer he'd be even more pissed.

"Said you were cuddling up to that friend of yours like a fucking poof. You two ain't boyfriends, are you? Cuz if you are, you're gonna cut that shit out and start acting like decent boys. Or as decent as you can be considering. This ain't a fairy house, I'm not housing you little homos."

I nodded weakly. Why had I come downstairs? Sirius gripped my hand under the table.

There was a brief moment of almost silence, the only sound being Mum thunking her shot glass onto the table every now and then. Sirius was glaring at Reya. I could tell he wanted to smack her. I did too.

Jim got up and started pacing. "You two're gonna cut out this faggot nonsense or I'm kicking you out. You Remus, you've brought enough shame to this family being a dark creature. I'll not have you hurting your poor mother any more. Got that?"

"I don't think mum cares what my sexual preference is." I said honestly. She really doesn't either. Jim may not know it, but I'm pretty sure she's bisexual. She just never told him, for obvious reasons. He may not beat on her as much as he does me and Reya, but he does.

Anyway, that was construed as being a smart ass, and it got me a good backhand. It was so hard the chair tipped over and slammed against the floor. My head hit hard. I lifted my hand to the back of my head and held it in front of my eyes. I was bleeding. No wonder I was so dizzy.

Jim walked in front of me, waiting for me to get up. I was still a bit dizzy, so I didn't and he yanked me up by my arm, hard. "Ah!" He twisted my arm until it came out of the socket. "Jeezus!"

"Don't you say the lord's name, you filthy poof!" He punched me in the stomach this time, so hard I fell to my knees. He was about to do it again, but Sirius grabbed his arm and ripped us apart.

"Don't you EVER touch him again!" Sirius growled, pushing Jim, hard. Jim went flying into the table and it broke under his weight. Jim weighs almost three hundred pounds. He is not a small man. I was impressed at Sirius' strength. However, all this did was make Jim even more pissed. I was leaning against the wall for support, in extreme pain. I wanted to run up the stairs with Sirius, but I couldn't move fast enough. Jim recovered first, and he was ripping. He punched Sirius in the face. Sirius fell to the ground, clutching at his jaw. Then Jim grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head into the wall. He let go of me and I fell to the ground.

"Keep your fucking poof boyfriend under control you worm." Jim snarled. I looked up at my mother, pleading. She met my eyes for a brief moment and I could see a look of intense pity and pain in them. Then she turned back to her vodka.

I crawled towards Sirius, who was still on the floor. Jim noticed me and kicked me in the stomach.

"Jim stoppit! Stop it or I'll call the police and report this as abuse!" Reya screeched. While Jim's back was still turned, she mouthed 'run' to me. That was all I needed. I grabbed Sirius by the elbow and ran for the stairs. We didn't stop running until we were in my room, at which point I locked the door.

I sat down heavily on the bed. Sirius was staring at me, wide eyed. There was some blood trickling down his chin and a bruise was forming on his jaw. It didn't look very pleasant. "I think he cracked one of my teeth." Sirius said, his words sounding odd as his mouth wasn't working quite right.

"I'll go get you something." I muttered. I went into the bathroom on the second floor and wet a face cloth in cold water. I brought it back to Sirius and patted his mouth with it. "I'd get ice, but you know…don't want to go back downstairs."

"S'okay. This feels good anyway." Sirius said with a smile.

I heard a car honk. Sirius and I looked out the window. Reya was sitting in her car outside. She rolled down the window and waved at us. I waved back and watched her drive off.

"Bet she's staying wherever Jean ended up." I said.

"That was pretty decent of her to stick up for you. Then again, we wouldn't have been in that mess if it wasn't for her." Sirius muttered.

"I don't think she expected him to react as strongly as he did. How's your face feeling?"

"I'm fine. You're the one who had his head pounded. Hell, you got beat a lot worse than me, are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"Of course not, I feel like shit." Sirius frowned. "It's okay, I know some spells for this." I picked up my wand and healed the cut on the back of my head. Then I did one to relocate my arm. "Do you want me to do something about your mouth?"

"If you know anything." He said, and then grimaced at the pain speaking gave him. I tapped his face with my wand and muttered a spell. He moved his jaw around for a bit and then smiled. "Very nice Moony. You'd make a good healer or something."

"Sometimes when the hospital wing is going slow Madam Pomfrey teaches me a few things. It comes in very handy." I answered. I put my wand back on my nightstand and faced Sirius. "Please don't do that again."

"I told you already Reme, I'm not going to just watch him abuse you."

"It wouldn't have gotten that bad if you had just sat there. I would have taken a few more light blows and then calmed him down. Instead, now we both got hurt. I'm used to this. I live here, I've gotten along for this long without help." I didn't want that to sound as mean as it did, but I couldn't help it. Sirius was actually at a loss for words. I think that was a first. "Good as your intentions may be, I would appreciate it if you didn't put yourself in the line of fire." I tried again.

"As long as they treat you like that, I'm going to defend you."

"You're so stubborn!"

"And you're such a pushover! You're too nice Remus. You shouldn't let them do that! It's wrong! I wished Reya had called the police or whatever the hell that Muggle thing is! If I were in your shoes, I would just pull my wand out. He is a Muggle, isn't he? If I'd had mine with me, shit, I'd probably be on my way to Azkaban because I'd be doing some unforgivable curses on his lard ass!"

"Okay fine, let's just agree to disagree. I'll be extra careful not to piss Jim and Mum off while you're here. Oh, and for the record, please don't do anything even remotely flirty from now on. Joking or no, they'll be watching for it now. Prepare to be under extreme scrutiny."

"Fine." We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. My stomach was still sore from the blows I had received earlier, added to that I still hadn't eaten breakfast and I really wanted to. Shit. I wished he would just say something. Although it was obvious he wasn't going to. Stubborn ass.

Desperate for something to break the silence, I asked him, "How's your mouth?"

He shrugged. He was still holding the cold face cloth to it. I moved it aside and felt along his jaw. It was a little swelled, and obviously sensitive because he grimaced. "Sorry, better not touch it then."

He held my hand in place against his face, then turned his head and kissed my hand. I yanked my hand away from him. "Does nothing get through to you?! Stop doing things like that!" He looked like I'd just slapped him. "Sorry, I'm a bit on edge. But dammit, why couldn't you do things like this in school, when I really wanted you to because we're away from people like this and it doesn't matter?"

"Because I've never been able to before, okay? Jeezus Moony, I've had a crush on you for ages, but I've never been able to work up the guts to ask you out before. Mostly because we're usually around James and Peter, and I'd really rather not ask you something like that in front of those two. So I decided I would do something over the break, which is why I've been so adamant about coming to your house. It just happened to work out nicely that my folks were vacationing and I had nowhere else to go. I'm sorry you got beaten up, but I know you must feel something too."

"What, because of the snuggling? Chances are it's just because you hogged all the blankets and it was cold last night so I curled up to you for body warmth." Now he looked positively stung. What the hell was I doing? I couldn't stop the bad things from coming out of my mouth. And the most ridiculous thing of all was that I liked Sirius a lot, possibly loved him, and here I was pushing him away. My family has a weird effect on me.

"Well if you feel that way then I'll gladly stop and just be your friend again. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." He muttered. Oh shit, he wasn't crying was he? Well, no, but his eyes were watering. I bit my lip.

"It's not that Paddy. Believe me, I want you. My family has a harsh effect on me, it's best if we pursue this when I'm away from them." I took his hand in mine and started rubbing my fingers against his. He smiled weakly.

"I'm sure we could manage now, if we were very sneaky about it."

"Sirius, no one knocks in this house." I noted.

He got up, walked over to the door and tapped the lock with his wand. "That pretty much dismisses Alohomora."

"Won't they find that suspicious?" I asked.

"Maybe, but it'll give us a good warning before they manage to get into the room." He sat down next to me on the bed again, a bit closer than before. My breathing was becoming a bit difficult. He held my chin in his hand, running his thumb along my jaw line. I swallowed, waiting. "I love you Remus." He whispered, before kissing me.

Oh god (not that I believe in him) that felt nice. His lips were so warm and soft, I'd never been kissed before and I'd never felt anything like it. It was a very chaste and innocent kiss, and over entirely all too soon. I made a reluctant little whimper noise when he pulled away. He smiled widely, moving some of my hair out of my eyes. I'd never seen Sirius so gentle before. He was always so loud and energetic. To see him act so calm was odd. It was a lot like my fantasies though.

"God but you're beautiful." He whispered dreamily. I smiled a little self consciously. I'd sort of considered myself a little plain, if not ugly. Far too pale and thin with several hideous scars (although few of them were visible as long as I was fully clothed) with mouse brown hair that never did what I wanted it to.

No, Sirius was the looker. He's absolutely gorgeous. I love his hair…it's so thick and dark and, well, shiny. I think I like it so much because it's so fascinating and mine is so plain in contrast. I ran my fingers through his hair. It felt so smooth and soft. I'd been wanting to do that for quite some time. Wondering if anything could possibly feel as soft as his hair looked.

He kissed me again, but this time he deepened the kiss. My lips parted. I moaned as his tongue caressed mine. God this was heaven. More than made up for the horrid start to the day. He pulled me closer to him until we were pressed against each other. He had one hand tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and the other gripping my shirt at my back. I just wrapped my arms around him, clinging.

We kissed like that for, I don't know, I lost track of time. Seemed like awhile, but not nearly long enough. He broke the kiss again, smiling. "So what's say we get something to eat, huh?"

"Tease."

Things went pretty well for the next two days. We adopted an old strategy of mine I picked up when I was about five, avoid mum and Jim. Well, the Jim part came later. When I was five it was just mum. At any rate, we were either out or in my room for the most part.

We went shopping at some Muggle stores. Oddly enough Sirius had never gone shopping at Muggle stores. I guess I'd never noticed how completely separated most wizards were from Muggles since I was so immersed in both cultures. We went into an electronics store and he was absolutely amazed.

"So, so Muggles get along without magic because they have this electricity stuff to replace it, right?" He whispered. He had been talking a bit more loudly earlier, but we got some stares so I'd nudged him and told him to keep it down.

"Yeah. Pretty much everything we can do with magic they can do with the push of a button."

"What did they do before they found electricity? Or did they always have it?" He asked.

"Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity and Muggles after him put it to work. That was in the late seventeen hundreds. They just worked harder before electricity, I guess."

"I like pushing buttons."

"I noticed. C'mon, let's leave before they kick us out."

"I told you, that radio was like that before I got to it. Why don't you believe me?"

"Because I wasn't born yesterday."

We went into a clothing shop. Sirius had decided to buy a couple outfits for himself, lest he be in Muggle territory again. We'd had to get his money changed at a local Gringotts branch. Using knuts and the such would have earned us more than a stare.

I glanced longingly at the trench coats while he picked through rude slogans on tee shirts. He followed my gaze. "Ooo…those look cool."

"Yeah. I like trench coats. I was thinking of buying one once, but when I tried it on…well, you need to be really tall to pull it off. I looked more like the hamburgler than anything else."

"What?"

"Never mind. I bet you'd look good in one, try one on."

He pulled one on and walked over to a mirror. "Wow. I do look good." He did a little turn. "It feels a bit like wearing our school robes, only cooler. I look all menacing."

"You'd look even more menacing if you weren't smiling like a jack ass. Do a bad ass facial expression." I suggested. He did and looked into the mirror. It lasted five seconds. "Wow! That is so cool! Oh, I'm buying this thing!"

While he ranted about how cool the trench coat was, I looked at the other things he'd picked out. A black tee shirt with red lettering, Quiet Brain or I'll Stab You With a Q-Tip. Fitting. And another black one with blue lettering, I'm Naked Under my Clothes, hmm… He'd also gotten two more pairs of jeans.

He turned back at me. "Try on a trench coat, I wanna see how you look."

"I look stupid." I answered.

"Oh come on. You always look good, try one on."

Reluctantly, I put one on. I turned to face him, waiting for him to make some sort of joke at my expense. He didn't. There was some sort of weird look in his eyes, I hadn't seen that expression before.

"You look good." He said.

"The hell I do." I said with a laugh. "I look terrible in these things."

"No, you really don't." He stared at me again. I felt my cheeks get hot. "Are you gonna get it?"

"No." I answered. "Of course not. Besides, mum would lose her shit if I bought something that looked so much like a Hogwarts robe."

"Then I'll buy it for you."

"No, I'm not getting it." I took it off and put it back.

"Fine, ruin my fun. I'm getting you one of those at some point though. Or making you wear mine. You looked really hot in it."

"I doubt I looked nearly as hot as you do in yours."

"Yeah, well I'm kind of hard to surpass." He said with a smile.

We went to Burger King for lunch. "You like this place, don't you?" Sirius asked.

"I like their fries." I explained.

"Ah. Yeah, the fries are good. Ooo, they give toys with their food? Why didn't you tell me that the last time we came here?"

"Because those are for the kid's meals. You know, for five year olds. Last I checked you were seventeen." I said wryly.

"Screw that, I'm getting me a kid's meal."

A few minutes later we were sitting at a table with another vegetarian value meal and a kid's cheeseburger meal with a milk and cookies. He got milk and cookies! And I honestly couldn't tell if he was just pretending to wonder why I found his meal so amusing or if he really didn't know.

"What toy did you get?" I asked.

He held up a little action figure from some movie for kids that had just come out. "I'm thinking a filibuster firework and this on the train back to Hogwarts…make a nice little show."

"Mmm."

"Or maybe I should wait until we get to school, pick an opportune time. James has been daring me to pull something during the Sorting since we were second years. Maybe I should send it up then."

I was about to respond, when I felt his bare foot sliding up my calf. I did make a noise, but it wasn't very articulate. He smiled at my reaction. Then continued his little ramble, pretending nothing was happening. "Or maybe I could send it into Snape's cauldron. I love fucking with his potions." He seemed to put special emphasis on the word fucking.

"Excuse me sir, this is a family restaurant. I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your language." An employee said.

"Sorry." Sirius said, not sounding sorry at all. He winked at me. Hmm. Sirius liked messing with people who took their jobs too seriously. Especially when it was something pathetic like a fast food employee.

Meanwhile he was still rubbing up my leg under the table. He took his foot away and I started breathing normally again. Then I felt his hand on my thigh. "Feeling a bit randy are we?" I asked. He nodded.

"Language." The employee mouthed rather obviously at us. Since when was randy a swear? Alright, saying it in front of children wouldn't be nice exactly, but there weren't any kids anywhere near us.

"You know what I think we should do?" He whispered. I shook my head. "I think we should have a little snogging session on this table."

"That guy would have us banned for life from this and all surrounding Burger Kings." I noted with a smile.

"Well, we can still go through the drive through." He replied nonchalantly. I laughed, then nodded. "You're serious, you really want to do it?" he asked excitedly.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Awesome."

A few minutes later I was laying on one of the long tables with Sirius on top of me, our hands roaming each other's bodies. The guy absolutely lost his shit. He started yelling at us, at which point I expected Sirius to stop and get up, but he didn't, so we just kept going, ignoring the poor guy. He finally got his manager, at which point we calmly left the restaurant. I noticed some traumatized looking little kids sitting in the front of the store. Their parents were giving us the dirtiest looks.

I started giggling when we got out. That's the only word I could use to describe it. I'm not proud of the fact that I giggled, I felt like Pam Patil, but I did.

Sirius brushed a light kiss across my lips. "That was fun." He murmured. "Did you see that guy? He freaked out way more than I thought he would."

"He needs to relax more. I bet we're not the only teens who mess with him while he's working."

"And we probably won't be the last either." He lifted me up and twirled me around, surprising me to no end.

"Hey! Put me down!" I demanded, rather unconvincingly as I was laughing while I said it. He pressed me against the wall of the store and kissed me again.

"Mmm. I am sooo glad to be here right now."

The next night was the full moon. Take that as a bad thing, I sure did. That morning, Sirius and I were sitting in my room, eating our breakfast of Chinese food, which we'd snuck out to get.

"How much money do you spend on take out during the vacations?" He asked.

"A lot, actually. I save money up for this. During the summer I don't do this though. I go food shopping and make things. It's cheaper."

"Hmm." He returned to his Chinese food. "I was wondering about that. Because otherwise you'll probably have a heart attack by the time you're twenty. You need to come over to my house some time. My dad's a really good cook. Every now and then he'll make these big dinners just for the hell of it. He likes cooking too, he'll make up excuses to make these fancy deserts and crap. His lasagna is the best."

"I always enjoy Hogwarts food well enough."

"Eh, dad's better than a house elf." We sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes. "So…what's up for tonight?"

"Hmm? Oh, well we have this little area in the basement sectioned off for me. Um…I don't think we'll be able to get you down there without my family knowing. I'm going to have to go it alone this time."

"C'mon Reme, there's got to be a way. Maybe I could sneak down there before they lock you in or whatever."

"It would be suspicious for you to disappear all night too though. Besides, they'd see you in there, it's not a big enough space for someone to hide in. I'll be okay Paddy, I've been doing this for a long time."

"I know…I just don't like you in pain, that's all." He reinforced his message with a kiss. The usual foreboding feeling I get on the day of the full moon was temporarily replaced with a giddy sort of happiness. God I love him.

We spent the day in my room, pretty much. The full moon has an effect on me during the day as well as during the night. I act like a completely different person if I'm not really careful. I talk a lot and I swear my IQ drops. I don't know why it happens, but it does. It might have something to do with my human consciousness slowly dissipating until the wolf can take over. Either way, the result is I usually seem like I'm stoned. When I'm in school I either keep my mouth shut or avoid people as much as possible.

Since I was only wit Sirius I didn't have to worry though. We laid on my bed, he had his arms around me, and I just talked about weird shit all day. Random things kept popping into my head and he just nodded and listened.

"I think green is a nice color, but it's odd how sometimes certain shades of it look like brown and vice versa. Really vibrant shades of green and brown don't look anything alike. But since to make brown you have to use all of the primary colors, like…it really shouldn't be green because there's no red in green and-"

"Moony." Sirius placed a finger on my lips.

"What?" I asked around his finger, then started giggling because it felt weird to talk with a finger on my lips.

"Is this why you're always so quiet on full moon days? Are you always like this?" He asked.

"Usually." I looked out the window, the sun was starting to set. "Shit, I'm late. Gotta dash." I muttered, getting up. Sirius grabbed my arm and pulled me to him for a quick kiss.

"Don't hurt yourself too much. I'll be down there as soon as the moon sets. I love you."

"Love you too." I answered quickly. I ran down the stairs. Mum and Jim were in the living room watching TV. They saw me run by.

"What the hell are you doing out there?! The sun's almost set, get to that room! You tryin' to kill us?!" Jim roared.

"Wha? Whazzat? Where'r you goin' Remus?" Mum slurred, lurching after Jim and I, who were now running down the basement steps, taking them two or three at a time. I raced into the back room while Jim slammed the door shut and bolted it.

I had been sort of twisting the truth when I told Sirius about what we had set up for me in the basement. I didn't tell him how completely wretched it was or how much I hated being there. It was small, for one thing. As a human, I couldn't stand up straight or I'd bang my head. When I was little I could bend over and be fine. Now I have to sit once I'm in there. It's cramped for the wolf too. If the room was bigger, maybe the wolf wouldn't hurt itself as much. Regardless, it's terribly small and cold and damp. I hate it there.

I waited for the transformation, wanting it to come and go as quickly as possible. I'm not going to go into the details of the transformation, I'll leave it as being rather unpleasant. Although, since the space is so cramped, the wolf can't hurt itself very much. That still doesn't make me like the room very much. I think it made me claustrophobic. Every time I'm in an enclosed space, I feel like I'm back there and I get scared…it's terrible.

I expected to wake up the next morning in the room. Mum and Jim aren't the type to unlock the door and take me upstairs as soon as the moon sets. They just sort of unlock the door whenever they think of it. One time they forgot and I was down there for three days. It's a good thing the wolf can't tear itself apart in there, otherwise I would have bled to death. Eventually, Reya let me out.

Anyway, I woke up in my bed wearing a comfy pair of flannel pajama pants and tucked into my bed. Sirius was sitting next to me, cleaning what remained of my cuts. He'd healed most of them already. He smiled at me in a doting way. "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy." I said quietly. I'm always completely drained after the full moon. He ran a hand through my hair and traced my jaw line with his thumb.

"Then sleep."

I drifted off for a bit. When I woke up he had procured a breakfast for us of cereal and milk. "No take out?" I asked curiously.

"We've been having too much of that recently. I swear, I'm getting a Pam Patil complex. It's like I can taste all the weight I'm gaining whenever I bite into one of those burgers."

"I told you not to get any double whoppers." I scolded mildly. "Hey, are you reading that?" I asked, pointing to an open copy of Catcher in the Rye on my nightstand.

"Yeah, I saw it lying around."

"I didn't think you read outside of what school required of you."

"Yeah, well I like this book. I'm guessing you've read it."

"That I have. It's a good book."

"I'm not very far into it. Right now Holden's at that scary teacher's house."

"Want to read it together?" I asked.

"Sure. Do you want to start from the beginning?"

"No, I've read it three times. I can pick it up at any point and know what's going on."

He laid down next to me and put an arm around me. I nuzzled against him with my head resting on his chest. He tilted the book so we both could read it. I drifted off a lot while we were reading, but every time I woke up I caught onto what was happening quickly enough.

One hundred pages later I was nudged into consciousness by Sirius. I looked around curiously, until I saw Mum and Jim standing in the doorway. That caught my attention quickly enough. Sirius sat up, and I put my head on my pillow. I was still feeling very weak and I had a dull headache.

"So this is where you are? Cuddling with your homo boyfriend? Do you know what we thought when we got downstairs to let you out?! We thought you'd escaped!" Mum yelled. She walked over to me and smacked me. Sirius growled and she backed up a bit. He stood up and walked over to where she was now standing with Jim. He looked furious.

"It's ten o'clock, he's been human for some time! And you were just going to leave him in that dank little cell until you bloody well felt like it! Excuse me if I give a shit about your son and got him out of there!"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that! You have no fucking clue what it's like, none at all, being in my position, so don't you DARE criticize me!" Mum screamed.

"It's not much to think that maybe you should treat your son with an iota of respect or compassion, instead of some burden! You're his goddamn mother! You should help him, not hurt him!"

"Stop it." I moaned. I just wanted the room cleared out, my head hurt so much. Sirius' features softened, he walked back over to me and squeezed my hand.

"Sorry." He whispered. He rubbed his thumb against my palm.

Jim snarled, a low, guttural sound that scared me. Sirius turned around to face him. He folded his arms over his chest, a 'what are you going to do about it' expression on his face.

'Please don't' I mouthed repeatedly. I knew Jim was going to explode, and Sirius was inviting it. Yelling at my mother, even if she deserved it, had made her beyond upset. There was truth to what he said, and I know Mum feels guilty about how she treats me when she's sober. That could be one reason why she drinks so much. Jim doesn't like seeing my mum upset. And he doesn't like seeing anything even slightly homosexual. I think he might be afraid of catching it or something.

He stormed over to Sirius and backhanded him. Sirius sat down on the bed, holding his face where he'd been struck. "Ow! That hurt you bastard!" Jim smacked him again. I sat up.

"Leave him alone!" I tried to say it forcefully, but it didn't work that way. I sounded like an asthmatic who'd just run a mile. Jim punched me in the face. My head flew back against the headboard. The sound it made when my skull hit the wood echoed in the tiny room. I bounced back onto the pillow, in severe pain. There were white spots in my vision…I fought them away, trying to focus around the pain and the weakness and the nausea.

I looked up and saw Sirius with his wand out, pointed at Jim's heart. "I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my days in Azkaban, I will kill you right now without a second thought if you try anything. Get out, both of you. Right. Now."

I had never seen Sirius like that before. There was this cold look in his eyes. I had no doubt in my mind that he would kill either of them if they didn't do as he said.

I had never seen Jim like that before either. He was scared. He was very scared of Sirius. As was my mother. They both left the room. Sirius locked the door, then sat down next to me on the bed, examining my head. He put a healing charm on my head, but he's still such an amateur at that stuff. It felt better, but not by much. I wanted to cry. A few tears spilled over. Sirius wiped them from my eyes.

"I'm getting you out of here." He whispered, his hands still on my face.

"How?" I asked. "Where will we go?"

"James'. He'd never turn us away."

"But, I thought his parents were away with yours. He's not allowed to have people over."

"James has the coolest parents on the planet. They will completely not care if we explain the situation to them. We'll have to tell James too, naturally. Otherwise he'd give me a good smack for taking you out the day after the full moon." Sirius kissed my forehead. "My cousin lives near here. He's got a motorcycle he'll lend me, he spelled it so it could fly. He might be selling it soon, it's really cool. We can take that to James'. If you're feeling up to it, pack a few things and put on something warm, it's really cold out. If not I'll take care of it when I get back. Don't open that door for anyone."

"Thank you."

He smiled at me, then climbed out the window. That's how we had been sneaking out, there's a tree right next to my window that's perfect for climbing. It's almost like a ladder. Sirius was back in an hour. I was still feeling pretty shitty, so I hadn't done anything. He packed our things up, and then put a spell on them so that the trunks shrunk down to being pocket sized.

"I don't know why I don't do that more." He muttered, looking at the palm sized trunks. I changed into jeans, a tee shirt and a sweatshirt. He looked at the window, then at me. I was leaning against the wall as standing on my own wasn't completely dependable. He sighed, and then unlocked the door.

We made it to the front door before Mum and Jim came out into the hallway. Sirius turned to face them. "We're leaving. I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure Remus is here as little as possible." And then we left, him slamming the door behind him. I wish I had a picture of the look on mum and Jim's faces when that happened.

It was flurrying outside. I shivered. Sirius frowned, then took off his trench coat and put it on me. "No. It's c-cold, you w-wear it."

"Just get on the bike Remus." He helped me up. "I'm not going to go very fast. Hold on tight though, anyway. And let me know if you need to take a break for a bit. I don't want you falling asleep and falling off when we're above the clouds. That could be dangerous."

"A bit, yeah."

He was about to take off, when Reya walked out the front door and came over to us. "What the hell are you doing?! You're not leaving me alone to deal with, with them are you?!"

"You'll deal well enough." Sirius returned.

"No, you stay out of this! This is family business! I hate you Remus, you know that! You have made my life so miserable, you little shit! I could have been happy if it wasn't for you! If it wasn't for you Dad would still be alive and Mum wouldn't be drinking, we wouldn't even know Jim existed and, and…oh God! Just kill yourself or something, it would make our lives so much easier!"

"We're leaving now." Sirius said, in the coldest voice I've ever heard him use.

"Well don't bother coming back!" Reya screamed, slamming the door. I swallowed uncomfortably.

"Don't think about that right now love." Sirius instructed gently. "Nothing's your fault. If anything, that's more motivation to leave. Hold on now."

While we rode to James' the flurry turned to a full scale snow storm. My teeth were chattering. I could feel my body temperature lowering. The trip was not pleasant. I reflected though, that flying motorcycle was not a bad way to travel. If Sirius' cousin did end up selling the bike, either I or Sirius would have to buy it.

By the time Sirius landed on James' lawn, I was absolutely drenched. My eyelids were half open, I couldn't focus on anything clearly. My whole body was shaking. I had never been that cold before.

"Oh god, your lips are blue. I'm sorry Remus, I just needed to get you out of there. Shit, shit. Oh fuck! None of the lights are on!"

Sirius left me on the bike and walked up to James' door. He rang the bell in the manner of a four year old with a button pushing complex. "JAMES!!!" He screamed. He pounded on the door, then threw a few pebbles at some windows. "JAMES!!! OPEN THE SODDING DOOR IF YOU'RE HOME!!!"

"What?! What the hell's all this? What are you doing here, my parents will kill me! I'm not supposed to have anyone over!" James shouted upon opening the door.

"We need to come inside-" Sirius started.

"No, go back to where you came from. Weren't you at Remus'?" And then he saw me, as Sirius had walked over to get me and was helping me up to the door. "Oh shit, get in here quickly!"

James lead us into the living room and Sirius settled me onto the sofa. I'd never been to James' house before. It was nice…pleasant.

"What the hell were you thinking taking him out during a snow storm?! Are you mad! The day after the full moon too! Jeezus Sirius, I thought you had more sense than that!"

"Shut up a minute and I'll explain! Moony's family is crazy, his mum's boyfriend is psychotic and they're all damaging to his sanity. I had to get him out. You don't understand what it was like there. Jim hit him, hard! Smashed his head against the bloody wall!"

"Okay, okay! I'm going to go get some dry clothes. Start a fire in the fireplace, something! We need to warm him up! His lips are blue!" James headed for the stairs, when someone came down them.

"James? What's going on?" Lily asked. Sirius made an annoyed sound.

"I didn't think you cared whether or not your parents wanted people here or not. Hi Lily."

"Hi Sirius. Remus? Oh, I'll go get some blankets." James and Lily dashed out of the room, James filling Lily in on the situation.

Sirius sat down next to me. He held my hands in his and exhaled on them a few times, rubbing his over mine. His hands weren't a whole lot warmer than mine really, but it was a nice gesture. He kissed my palm.

"I'm sorry Remus, I just needed to get you out of there. Oh god, you look awful."

"It's okay Paddy." I whispered hoarsely. He held me to him and started crying. "Sirius, calm down. I'm not dying."

"Excuse me while I have a complex then." He pouted. He smoothed my hair back. I smiled in a lopsided kind of way, and then passed out.

I woke up in a very big and comfy warm bed. The pillow was really soft, and the mattress…it might have been a feather mattress. There were two comforters on me plus a quilt, I was so warm and comfy. I was still sore though. I also had no idea where I was. One of those sleep induced amnesia things. After a minute the events of the day came back to me, and I had to pause and consider whether or not that was a dream or it was real. I decided it was real, as why else would I be in a strange house, and got up.

I walked out into the hallway and looked around. There were four other doors on the floor, and a stairwell. There were some pictures hanging up on the walls of the hallway. James' school pictures actually. I looked them over. Wow, those early ones were bad.

I walked down the stairwell, from there I could see into the living room. Sirius was sitting on the couch with a mug of cocoa and a blanket wrapped around him. He was wearing James' clothes too, and Lily and James were sitting near him, talking to him about something or other.

"Hello?"

"What are you doing up?" Lily asked, sounding mildly annoyed. She walked over to me and put her hand on my forehead. James and Sirius were sniggering. "Well, it seems like your fever's down. That's good at least."

"Want cocoa?" Sirius asked.

"Sure."

"There's more in the kitchen." Lily said. "I'll go get it, refills anyone?"

"Yes please." James answered.

"No, but I need more marshmallows. Do you have those ones shaped like animals?" Sirius asked.

"No, mum hasn't bought those since we were kids. We have adult marshmallows now. Those'r boring." James grumped.

"Personally, I'd have preferred the animal marshmallows when I was older. Those things traumatize children." Sirius noted.

"How?" I asked.

"Well, they've got a charm on them that makes them act alive. So they scream when you put them in cocoa and they yell at you when you try to eat them, but they stop when you bite their heads off. It's disturbing when you're three but entertaining when you're thirteen." James noted.

"Indeed." Personally, I'd find that just as disturbing now.

"So, Remus," Lily said, coming back in. "We were thinking about how since tomorrow is Christmas Eve and all, how we're going to celebrate it. James and I are going to have to modify our plans-" At this James made a pouty face. "Only slightly. I'm going to have to learn that silencing charm sooner than I thought it all."

"Oh, that's easy." Sirius said. "Want me to show you?"

"Of course you would know." James said, rolling his eyes. I frowned a little at that. Sirius glanced at me and shrugged. I stared at my cocoa. Lily raised her eyebrow at James. He sent her a look I couldn't read.

"Will everyone please stop talking with their eyes? It's hard to follow!" Sirius complained.

"Sorry." Lily said. She smiled. "So, anyway, what we were thinking is, since you two are going to be here, um…I'm staying here for two more days, just to let you know."

"Ah. So you'd like us to be around as little as possible?" I asked James, not Lily, who would have lied.

"Yes." James answered quickly.

"James!"

"Well come on Lily, I see enough of them at school! I hardly ever get any time alone with you!" James pouted. Is it just me, or does he pout a lot around Lily? I'd never noticed how weird he acts around her before.

"Well that's good, because I've been wanting some alone time with Remus lately. We'll have our own little secret club that you two can't come to too. So there." He said, sticking his tongue out at them and edging closer to me. Once again, Lily raised her eyebrow at James and he shrugged. She sighed in an annoyed manner.

"Sirius? Remus? Can I ask you a question?"

"Please don't Lil."

"Oh shut up James."

"Hmm. I'm intrigued. What's your question?" Sirius asked. I could already tell what the question was going to be, and I could tell by the evil looking glint in Sirius' eye he knew too.

"Well, I came up with this theory, that you two liked each other. And James said it was bull when I told him. But you two have been acting differently towards each other tonight and I was wondering if something happened at any point this week. I'm right, aren't I?" Lily asked.

"Of course you're-"

"Yes."

"Wait, you are?" James finished his sentence. He stared at Sirius, who was the one who said yes. "What?"

"Yeah, we're boyfriends now." Sirius said. "What?"

"Well why didn't you tell me? I didn't know you even liked Remus! I'm your best friend! Why would you keep something like that from me!"

"Because you would've gone and involved yourself. I wanted to ask Remus on my own, not be set up. I wanted to do things my way." He explained.

"Well, your way nearly got me killed." I pointed out. "However, the result was nice enough."

"And it makes one hell of a story." Lily pointed out.

"Here here." James agreed.

We chatted amiably for a bit longer, then we decided to turn in. I'd gotten so much sleep that day, but I was still weary, so I was very glad to return to James' room (He had taken up residence in his parents' bedroom, bigger bed) for some sleep. Sirius started into the bedroom after me, but James grabbed his arm.

"Please don't shag in my bed." He pleaded.

Sirius had a mock hurt look on his face. "James, what must you think of me? Remus had a near fatal incident today, and he still hasn't regained his strength. And you think that I would make a move on him tonight?"

"I know you would. Don't. Have some respect for me."

"Oh, like how you're having respect for your parents and their bed?" Sirius asked.

"That is beside the point. Promise me Padfoot."

"Alright. I promise."

"It doesn't count when you smile like that. Promise me. You know I won't be able to sleep in that bed again if I think you've done anything in it."

"Okay, Okay. I promise."

"Thank you."

James left and Sirius hopped onto the bed. "Too bad I have to keep that promise. You look gorgeous tonight."

"I probably look like hell." I muttered, blushing.

"Of course you don't. And that blush is very fetching. Ugh. Let's go to sleep before I end up having to beat off in the bathroom." He suggested. I scrunched up my face.

"I'm not sure how to take that."

"Take it any way you want to." Sirius said, switching out the lights. He snuggled against me under the layers of blankets. I smiled, completely content.

I woke up, probably around one in the morning, absolutely randy. I don't know why. Happens sometimes. Only this time, Sirius was sleeping against me, and I knew he wanted me. I turned around in his arms so that I was facing him, and I kissed his neck. I trailed kisses up his neck, until I reached his mouth. He woke up at that point, and pulled me closer, kissing me deeply. I ran my arms along his body, groping. He stopped me when my hands reached his waistband.

"I promised James we wouldn't."

"You promised we wouldn't in the bed." I noted. He smiled wickedly.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you so much."

About twenty minutes later a horrified sounding James was pounding on the locked door. My mouth was a bit busy, so I couldn't answer him, but Sirius did in some sense, with a very loud moan.

"Damn it! You said you wouldn't!" James yelled from the other side of the door. We could hear Lily trying to convince him to go back to bed.

"Not in the…oh god Moony…we're not in the-the-th-bed!" Sirius yelled.

"Argh!" James yelled. "I need a new carpet!"

Well, the rest of the holiday went perfectly, like a dream. When James' parents got back, a day before we had to leave for Hogwarts, Lily was gone and we were told under penalty of Chinese water torture that mentioning her was forbidden. They were okay with us being there once James explained the circumstances, but they told us we should have owled them and Sirius' parents explaining things.

Sirius kept his promise well enough. I hardly spent two days at my house the rest of my time at Hogwarts, and after that, as Sirius and I were still together, we moved in together anyway. Life was good.

Then one day, when I had been living with Sirius for about a month, I got a letter from Reya. The letter said:

Remus,

I know we haven't gotten along well in the past. And I've been thinking a lot about the things I said to you the last time I saw you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. That was mean. I haven't treated you well at all.

The thing is, I've known it's wrong the whole time. I just can't help myself. You have to understand my position. You can hardly remember Dad, but he died when I was 8. I remember him very well. And you have to understand how I would hold some bitterness (however underserved) to anyone who had anything to do with him not being a part of my life anymore. And I can remember how mum used to be too. I can remember when we were a family. I miss those days more than anything.

More so, I missed when I could look at you and think simple things, like that's my little brother and I love him. I miss that. I can't help but see you as a negative part of my life. I'm sorry. I'm trying to stop that, but I can't help it.

And as for Sirius, I hear you two are living together now. Good for you. You need someone to love you. I hope he stays with you. I saw how protective he was of you firsthand. He's a good guy, don't let him get away.

I hope one day we can manage to have a relationship. This isn't much, but it's the first step. I miss you.

With love (or some imitation of it)

~Reya

"What's that?" Sirius asked, noting the letter.

"Oh, just nothing." I answered quietly. It was a bit too personal for me to talk about with Sirius just then. I kept the letter. I haven't replied to it yet, but I'm going to. I just need to figure out what to say.