::Kitzaku::
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, not matter how much I make Jou beg like a dog. *blink*
Authoress Note: Taking another break from Fragile. U.u; I'm really seriously stuck on that fic. *cries* Ah, in any case, I don't know what is with me. I can't seem to write a happy/lively TogiHonda! Strong Enough was depressing, and this is depressing as well. -.-; I love TogiHonda stuffage, but if I can't make it happy then, I'll run out of ideas fast.
In any case, here's a One Shot for those of you that crave that TogiHonda taste. ^_^ It's all in Honda's POV in case you were wondering.
::Ignored::
"My whole life I've been ignored."
That was how it began, or rather, where it should begin. It really began when the one person I felt like I could open up to, told me that I should find myself an ideal girl and stay with her.
What came after was the fight, the fight where he left me. It's hard to remember details, but I know that for one, he left me, he ignored me like so many others have before. I yelled the line out into the empty street that he ran down. I don't think he heard me, but I don't think anyone heard me really. Then again, I'm used to that.
Just not when he does it.
He doesn't know how I feel. He's had girls hang onto his every word, but he doesn't pay attention to them at all. He doesn't realize, that there are some people in the world that would kill just to gain the popularity that he so easily managed to snag for himself.
I loved watching him from a distance. The way his long black hair would sway when he walked; how his beautiful green eyes could express anything that he was thinking. I felt like I was the only one that saw him the way I did.
And yet, when he talked to me that first time, I was scared. I know, never again will you find the great Honda scared of something… but there I was, shaking and wondering what I should say, or do, or basically anything. He would talk so calmly with me, like an equal.
Before I met Yugi and the others, people were frightened of me. I liked it because of the attention it gave me. But that attention was short-lived. Yugi is so enthralled with his Duel Monsters that he's showing so much less interest in me. Jounouchi has been doing the same. We used to be tight, and now it's as if we've lost it, and his friendship with Yugi has magnified one hundred fold. I hate it, but I can't do anything but sit back and support it.
But out of the darkness came Otogi. My Otogi. He may have mocked us at first, but I was drawn to him immediately. I couldn't help it, but he had me almost instantly. The only way I could really get a chance to talk to him was when I asked if he could teach me to play Dungeon Dice Monsters. He complied, and within minutes I knew I had found someone much more than a friend.
He could never feel that way about me. I've never been that interesting enough to have people want to stay around me. Then again, he was different. While everyone was off dueling, Otogi would stay with me, and we'd do normal things together. See movies, or play video games, like average people.
But one day, the air around him changed. He seemed hostile, and determined to push me away. I didn't understand why. I had it figured that he was my best friend. I had confided to him all the secrets I could possibly posses, that is, all but one secret that I have sworn not to tell anyone. But one day I would tell Otogi that secret, of course.
The truth was that I am in love with him.
It's not like I woke up one morning and went, "I think I'll fall in love with Otogi today!" It was something that happened gradually, like I said, when I first met him, I was drawn to him. Not lust, no, not at first. It was just a compelling urge to know him. So, once I did, it went from friendship to list to finally just unexplainable love.
I didn't ask for this! He has so many other things to do than to be with me. Yet, when he changed, I could tell, when no one else could not. Here was this beautiful young man, talking to one that not even his best friend's sister could hang around for extended periods of time. I felt as if whatever had been drawing the other away from me had finally begun to work on him. His eyes were cold, and he said to me plain and simple.
"Honda, you need to have a girlfriend. You're so miserable without one. You can trust me, they help."
I know he meant well, right? But I just can't get a girlfriend, not when I love him. And not to mention I couldn't get one if I tried.
It's hard to understand why he wanted to tell me this. And make such a big deal about it on top of things. He didn't stick around for my response; the one I yelled out into the street after his disappearing form.
You know what? I'm tired of this. I'm sick of moping about, hoping Otogi will stay with me forever when I know it's not possible. With that point of view, I'll never be happy. The only way to know for sure, is to confront him, right? Right?
My feet hit the ground harder with each step as I ran faster to catch up with Otogi. He hadn't gone very far, so I was only a little out of breath by the time I reached him. He looked surprised to see me; probably didn't expect that I would run after him. I repeated the words I had screamed after him, this time he heard them for sure.
"My whole life, I've been ignored."
He looked at me with complete understanding, almost as if he knew it was going to happen, but didn't expect it to actually happen at all. His hands were in his pockets, disrupting the smooth red fabric of his vest. His beautiful black hair swayed with the smallest movement of his head. But he didn't take his green eyes off of me, not even for a second. He didn't say anything either; he was waiting instead, for me to say something.
Only now, no matter how many times I had rehearsed what to say in my head. I couldn't for the life of my remember any of it.
And, for the strangest reason, Otogi didn't seem to mind. He knows everything about me, I realized I've told him so much, he probably knew exactly what was going on inside my mind; why I couldn't go through with the suggest he bluntly gave me.
Still, I wanted to say something. Anything would be better than this silence. Even reciting the DDM handbook. Instead, I said. "Hello, Otogi." As if I was starting our conversation over.
He smiled at me and in his calm voice, he seemed to purr. "Hello, Honda."
I only smiled back at him. It was about all I really could do anyway. And from somewhere in my mind, my conscience was screaming into a megaphone. "Tell him!"
I can't do it! It's not normal for your best friend to tell you they love you. And even more abnormal when you're both the same gender. Otogi broke the silence that I was so good at making this time.
"You know, Honda." His green eyes lifted off of my own and wandered off down the street behind me. He had been searching for the right words to say as well. "I haven't ignored you."
Hearing him say that made a million things better, but a million or two or five were still wrong about a lot of things. "I know." I said, suddenly interested in the ground, "I didn't want you to start."
Then he laughed. I wouldn't exactly call this the perfect time to laugh. We were both in the middle of an ally and it was sunset. Who knew who could be listening in, not to mention our current situation. But there he was, laughing. Either a screw was loose in his head, or he really must thing I'm an idiot. It didn't take long for him to see the hurt look on my face and stop.
"I can't possibly ignore you." He told me as if it were obvious enough for anyone to see. "You mean a lot to me. More than any stupid fangirl (Authoress: *twitch*). That's why I said that, I want you to be happy."
"I am happy." I said, feeling like a fool.
His hands came out of his pockets. One rested on his hip and the other subconsciously twirled with his hair. "You weren't doing a good job of acting like it."
He was right, I wasn't happy, but what he'd told me to do wouldn't help any. I sighed. "I mean, I'm happy when… you know," for a second I made eye contact with him again, then before I knew it, I was looking back down, "when it's just us two."
He was back. It was as if he'd never left me. My old Otogi was back. He smiled, stepped closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked back into his eyes, startled. He only continued to smile and look into my eyes. "Tell me I'm going out on a limb here," he started. "But I'm under the impression that you would rather hand out with me than get a girlfriend."
"Ah…" I could feel me face getting hot, but what could I possibly say to that and still manage to not tell him? It didn't take him long to notice my blush. He was smart, and I began to grow worried. Worried that he already knew.
"Don't worry about it." He let his arms drop back down to his sides. "It's the same reason why I won't go out and hook up with anyone."
I was still speechless. At this time, my conscious was waving flags, holding up signs and doing anything it could to get my attention, but I continued to ignore it. What was making me mad at the moment was my lack of communication skills that had once been so easy to use with Otogi.
"Sorry I suggested it." Otogi apologized and turned around. He probably sensed my struggle and figured I would want to be alone.
"Wait." My hand was taken over by my conscious and took a firm grip on his wrist as he turned around. He looked back at me, listening. It was now or never, and he knew this, even before I did. I could see it in his eyes. "Otogi, I…" I was searching for words to say, to tell the truth. "I want to be more than friend." I also wanted to hold him close to me, run my fingers through his hair, and feel his lips pressed to mine. But if I couldn't do that, I'd settle for running away as fast as I could, and become a mushroom hermit. But it's no use in hoping, right?
Hearing those words at last seemed to brighten Otogi's eyes. Something I hadn't counted on.
"It's hard." He started. "Knowing all along, but tying to restrain yourself from doing something stupid." He must have been talking more to himself than to me. Then he looked up and smiled at me again. "Don't be embarrassed, Honda. I like you too."
Have you ever wanted to shout for joy, grab the nearest stranger and dance with them until you collapse from happiness? Have you even once experienced the wonder that the one you have your heart to, gave theirs in return? The smile that was on my face must have been three miles long and before I knew it, I was hugging him.
And he was holding me back, that was the best part. His petite, but still strong arms wrapped tenderly around me own and his wonderfully soft head of hair stationed underneath my chin. I had expected sorrow and rejection. I had expected to be alone forever, and be shunned by him.
I hadn't expected a happy ending.
What I also had not expected, was to find that his hair smelled like apples.
::End::
::Owari::
Yugi Muse: You just had to throw in that last line didn't you?
Yami Muse: T_T It ruined the pretty fluffiness of the fic!
Kitzaku: Yes, well… don't sue me? It was the chibi's fault!
Chibi Otogi Muse: *waves R&R Apple shampoo* I dumpeded it on his head. ^_^