Daddy Duo
Chapter 1
You're What?
(AN: This is a corollary tale to "Who's a Weak Onna?" You don't have to read that story of mine first, but I wouldn't mind if you did. This one is in a lighter vein, though. I needed some humor and sweetness.)
"I'm late," said Hilde.
Since Duo hadn't had his first cup of strong coffee yet, he simply nodded, "Yeah, me too. Colonel Une is going to skin me alive, but I just had to get in an extra 20 minutes this morning.
Hilde rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. So much for subtlety. She was definitely going to have to be more direct.
"No, dumkopf, I mean LATE!" she emphasized the last word with four fingers making quote mark brackets.
"Late with a capital L, late as in no period, late as in the main symptom of pregnancy!"
Duo's mouth hung open. "What?" he squeaked.
"I mean late as in I've got a doctor's appointment this morning. I thought you should know."
"How..how'd that happen?" he whispered.
"Oh, please!" she exclaimed.
"No, I know HOW!" he blushed. "What I meant was, how, as in weren't we being careful that this wasn't going to happen-how?"
"Shore leave," she said shortly. "Remember when I came to see you on your last mission?"
"Yeah, we hadn't seen each other in six weeks, that's what I remember," with a faintly lascivious grin on his face.
"As far as I can figure, that must have been it. I mean, when."
"Well, then, it was worth it!" said Duo, ducking as Hilde hurled a half- eaten piece of toast at him.
"Well, I'm glad you think it's so funny, Mr. Comedian. You get to fire the bullets, I get to suffer for nine months! Biology reeks!"
"Hey, babe, I was just jokin," he said, getting up and coming over to her.
She folded her arms and glared at him. "Hey, now, don't make me feel like a criminal or sumthin', here," he said, kneeling and putting his arms around her. "If it's true, is it such a bad thing? I mean, it would be our kid."
Hilde, his Hilde, Miss Toughness-Personified, Miss-didn't-even-cry-when- she-was-wounded-Hilde, began to bawl.
"Hey, now, don't do that!" he exclaimed. "You know I can't stand it when someone cries! You're gonna make me cry too."
"I'm s-s-sorry," she stammered. "I'm just s-s-scared!"
"Well, don't feel lonely," he mumbled, "The last time I was this scared, ten mobile dolls were trying to blast my ass into oblivion."
"Oh, Duo, w-what are we going to do?" she wailed.
"Well, I guess you're going to go to the doctor and I'm going to go to work and when you find something out, call me right away."
"Duo!" she was still crying.
"I can't think of anything else to do right now!"
"Go with me?" asked Hilde.
"To the doctor?" asked Duo. He hesitated. He had a profound dislike of hospitals, doctors or anything medical, since it usually had the connotation of having been wounded or beat to a pulp for him.
He looked at Hilde's tearful face and simply nodded. "Okay, I'll call in with a personal emergency. I'm warning you, they'll want to know why. I usually use the personal emergency days to goof off and they're on to me."
"Danke, Leibhan," said Hilde said.
"I can think of several interesting ways you can "danke" me," said Duo, grinning and pulling her closer to nuzzle her neck.
"Do you have any thoughts that originate ABOVE the waist?" she asked, leaning against him in relief.
"Not when I'm being snogged by beautiful damsels in distress," said Duo.
"Duo, I have to get ready to go," she said, pulling reluctantly away.
"And besides, THAT is what got us in this situation in the first place!" she called over her shoulder.
"I still say it was worth it," he said under his breath.
He padded barefoot over to the vidphone and pushed in some numbers.
He'd forgotten he didn't have a shirt on until Colonel Une's face appeared on the screen.
"Interesting uniform, Maxwell," she said dryly. "May I take your current state of undress to mean you won't be coming to headquarters today?"
Duo tried to nonchalantly fold his arms across his bare chest. "Um yes, I need a personal day, Colonel."
"For what, Mr. Maxwell, sunbathing?" she asked him, arching one thin eyebrow.
"Actually I need to take Hilde to the doctor," he said, swallowing hard. "It's kind of an emergency."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Une said coolly. "Is she ill?"
"Um, yeah, that's it," said Duo. "She's too sick to drive herself, so I need to take her."
"Very well," said Une. "You still have a few personal days allowed. But, if I find out you've been going to the beach or hanging out playing pool all day again, I'll have your hide on my wall, Maxwell."
"Word of honor, Colonel," said Duo, unconsciously fingering the silver cross he wore around his neck. "I'm not conning you. This time."
"I need you back here as soon as possible," she added. "With Chang Wufei on the disabled list right now, we need everyone to fill in. We're short handed as it is. That's why we called you off reserve in the first place."
"I'll be there tomorrow bright and early," he made an "X" across his heart.
"And thanks, thanks a lot, Colonel."
She merely nodded and cut the transmission.
"I'm FREE!" he sang, doing a little dance of happiness, his tousled braid swinging wildly around.
"Hurry up, Hilde, lets get this over with, and then we can go have some FUN!" he called out, bounding up the stairs to the bathroom to shower.
He found Hilde in the bathroom, hanging weakly onto the side of the toilet.
"Oh my God," he said, handing Hilde a glass of water. She rinsed out her mouth and spat. "Are you all right?" he asked rhetorically.
She looked up at him with red eyes and said, "Hello, Dad."
He turned 3 shades paler and abruptly sat down next to her on the bathroom rug.
"Oh my God."
Chapter 1
You're What?
(AN: This is a corollary tale to "Who's a Weak Onna?" You don't have to read that story of mine first, but I wouldn't mind if you did. This one is in a lighter vein, though. I needed some humor and sweetness.)
"I'm late," said Hilde.
Since Duo hadn't had his first cup of strong coffee yet, he simply nodded, "Yeah, me too. Colonel Une is going to skin me alive, but I just had to get in an extra 20 minutes this morning.
Hilde rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. So much for subtlety. She was definitely going to have to be more direct.
"No, dumkopf, I mean LATE!" she emphasized the last word with four fingers making quote mark brackets.
"Late with a capital L, late as in no period, late as in the main symptom of pregnancy!"
Duo's mouth hung open. "What?" he squeaked.
"I mean late as in I've got a doctor's appointment this morning. I thought you should know."
"How..how'd that happen?" he whispered.
"Oh, please!" she exclaimed.
"No, I know HOW!" he blushed. "What I meant was, how, as in weren't we being careful that this wasn't going to happen-how?"
"Shore leave," she said shortly. "Remember when I came to see you on your last mission?"
"Yeah, we hadn't seen each other in six weeks, that's what I remember," with a faintly lascivious grin on his face.
"As far as I can figure, that must have been it. I mean, when."
"Well, then, it was worth it!" said Duo, ducking as Hilde hurled a half- eaten piece of toast at him.
"Well, I'm glad you think it's so funny, Mr. Comedian. You get to fire the bullets, I get to suffer for nine months! Biology reeks!"
"Hey, babe, I was just jokin," he said, getting up and coming over to her.
She folded her arms and glared at him. "Hey, now, don't make me feel like a criminal or sumthin', here," he said, kneeling and putting his arms around her. "If it's true, is it such a bad thing? I mean, it would be our kid."
Hilde, his Hilde, Miss Toughness-Personified, Miss-didn't-even-cry-when- she-was-wounded-Hilde, began to bawl.
"Hey, now, don't do that!" he exclaimed. "You know I can't stand it when someone cries! You're gonna make me cry too."
"I'm s-s-sorry," she stammered. "I'm just s-s-scared!"
"Well, don't feel lonely," he mumbled, "The last time I was this scared, ten mobile dolls were trying to blast my ass into oblivion."
"Oh, Duo, w-what are we going to do?" she wailed.
"Well, I guess you're going to go to the doctor and I'm going to go to work and when you find something out, call me right away."
"Duo!" she was still crying.
"I can't think of anything else to do right now!"
"Go with me?" asked Hilde.
"To the doctor?" asked Duo. He hesitated. He had a profound dislike of hospitals, doctors or anything medical, since it usually had the connotation of having been wounded or beat to a pulp for him.
He looked at Hilde's tearful face and simply nodded. "Okay, I'll call in with a personal emergency. I'm warning you, they'll want to know why. I usually use the personal emergency days to goof off and they're on to me."
"Danke, Leibhan," said Hilde said.
"I can think of several interesting ways you can "danke" me," said Duo, grinning and pulling her closer to nuzzle her neck.
"Do you have any thoughts that originate ABOVE the waist?" she asked, leaning against him in relief.
"Not when I'm being snogged by beautiful damsels in distress," said Duo.
"Duo, I have to get ready to go," she said, pulling reluctantly away.
"And besides, THAT is what got us in this situation in the first place!" she called over her shoulder.
"I still say it was worth it," he said under his breath.
He padded barefoot over to the vidphone and pushed in some numbers.
He'd forgotten he didn't have a shirt on until Colonel Une's face appeared on the screen.
"Interesting uniform, Maxwell," she said dryly. "May I take your current state of undress to mean you won't be coming to headquarters today?"
Duo tried to nonchalantly fold his arms across his bare chest. "Um yes, I need a personal day, Colonel."
"For what, Mr. Maxwell, sunbathing?" she asked him, arching one thin eyebrow.
"Actually I need to take Hilde to the doctor," he said, swallowing hard. "It's kind of an emergency."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Une said coolly. "Is she ill?"
"Um, yeah, that's it," said Duo. "She's too sick to drive herself, so I need to take her."
"Very well," said Une. "You still have a few personal days allowed. But, if I find out you've been going to the beach or hanging out playing pool all day again, I'll have your hide on my wall, Maxwell."
"Word of honor, Colonel," said Duo, unconsciously fingering the silver cross he wore around his neck. "I'm not conning you. This time."
"I need you back here as soon as possible," she added. "With Chang Wufei on the disabled list right now, we need everyone to fill in. We're short handed as it is. That's why we called you off reserve in the first place."
"I'll be there tomorrow bright and early," he made an "X" across his heart.
"And thanks, thanks a lot, Colonel."
She merely nodded and cut the transmission.
"I'm FREE!" he sang, doing a little dance of happiness, his tousled braid swinging wildly around.
"Hurry up, Hilde, lets get this over with, and then we can go have some FUN!" he called out, bounding up the stairs to the bathroom to shower.
He found Hilde in the bathroom, hanging weakly onto the side of the toilet.
"Oh my God," he said, handing Hilde a glass of water. She rinsed out her mouth and spat. "Are you all right?" he asked rhetorically.
She looked up at him with red eyes and said, "Hello, Dad."
He turned 3 shades paler and abruptly sat down next to her on the bathroom rug.
"Oh my God."