Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, I am making no money off of this.

Warning: Mild slash and het in here. You have been warned.

Spoilers: PoA

Summary: After a small prank, Remus decides to see just what the big deal is about romance novels.

Author's Note: Just a cute little idea I had and couldn't get out of my head. I almost lost it, lost power for a good hour or so. But luckily Scott's got battery power, so he just kept on going!

Romancing A Slytherin

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Sirius Black was smirking in a way that made Remus rather nervous. His eyes were glinting rather dangerously, and upon following his gaze Remus saw why.

Padfoot…" He cautioned, but Sirius had already gotten James' attention.

"Oh, how lovely!" James exclaimed, leaning back casually. Remus sighed. He really didn't understand their obsession with torturing Severus Snape. He was harmless, really. Yes, he was a bit…off, but that was no reason to do what they did to him.

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" Remus asked, frowning.

"Nope." James said, standing up straight and starting to wander over towards where Severus sat, reading a large book without a cover. Remus sighed, but followed afterwards. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity, or perhaps he thought he could sway his friends course of action. Not that he ever tried, but he often thought about it.

Severus didn't deserve it. This petty House rivalry was getting out of hand, it had been going on far too long.

"Hey there Snivellus." Sirius said, snatching the book out of Severus' hands. "Whatcha reading?"

"Give that back!" Severus lunged forward, grabbing for his book. Remus sighed, and rolled his eyes. Sirius was so childish, sometimes.

"No." Sirius held the book above Severus' head, teasing him.

"Give it back *now* Black!" Severus snapped, grabbing for the book. Sirius held him back, laughing as he did so.

"What's so important, huh? Bet it's a collection of Dark Magic…Prongs, catch!'

Apparently Severus was becoming to much to hand-he *was* clawing and scratching at Sirius rather savagely-because Sirius tossed the book over to James, who caught it expertly.

"Oh my!" James looked at what Severus had been reading, and began laughing loudly. "Oh man…you're not gonna believe this."

"Give it back!" Severus' voice was close to panic now. He had a wild eyed look, his nostrils were flaring, and he was breaking out into a sweat. This really wasn't worth it.

"Oh no." James licked his lips. "Does everybody want to know what Snivelly here's been reading?"

As always, a crowd had gathered. Remus could only thank heavens that Peter was at detention, the small boy could cause such a ruckus!

"Oh, read it to us!" Sirius urged, holding Severus by his arms. The Slytherin boy was twisting and hissing, trying to wrench himself out of Sirius' arms.

"Ahem." James cleared hs throat and began to read:

'The strapping Auror moved closer, and Melinda felt her heart fluttering in chest like a caged bird. She backed up until her back hit the edge of the desk. She was all alone, alone with Lance!'

"Oh Merlin…" Sirius was laughing as well now, and Severus had increased his efforts to get away. "Oh, get to the good stuff Prongs!"

Remus gritted his teeth. What was the point, really?

"I will, I will. Ah, here we go…

'Lance tore the bodice of her gown, her ripe breasts tumbling free of their constraint. How bold he was! She felt her body rise at his touch, and she parted her lips to his ravishing kisses…'"

"That's enough!" Remus snatched the book away from James, glaring. His friend didn't even have the decency to look offended, simply startled. Sirius let go of Severus, who drew himself away and stared at Remus with what could easily be termed murderous intent.

"Here's your book." He gave the book back to Severus. "I'm sorry I lost your place."

"Moony…" Sirius folded his arms. Severus took his book back, and stormed off in the direction of the castle. Remus shot his friends a withering look, and walked away from them.

****

Remus spent the rest of the day avoiding James and Sirius. He actually found himself thinking more and more about the earlier incident. Romance novels…his mum read them sometimes. He didn't see what the big deal was, there didn't seem to be much point to them. The plots looked as though they'd be weak, and he couldn't imagine the characterization was all that great.

But he couldn't really comment unless he'd read one. So, with that thought in mind, Remus made his way to the school library.

There *were* fiction books, over in a small and mostly unused corner of the library. He headed over, and scanned the titles. They had to the bottom row. A line of blank covered books, with titles like 'To Love an Auror' and 'Passion Under Starlight'. He frowned, gazing the titles for anything that looked interesting.

//'Sign of the Werewolf'….hmmm.// Remus pulled out the book, found a chair, and began reading.

A half hour later, he was told in no uncertain terms that the library was *closing* for the evening, and would he kindly either put his book away or check it out? Feeling a bit embarrassed, he checked it out. He was gripped by the plot!

The book was about a young witch-back in the sixteen hundreds-who fell in love with a handsome and mysterious wanderer. He got work from her father as a handyman, and over the weeks their love seemed to be growing. But he had some dark secret…

Remus imagined it was that he was a werewolf. He liked the characters though. Ariana was beautiful and modest and sweet, and Cael was rugged and wild and warm. Of course Ariana's father warned her against the new hired man…

//They're going to make your life miserable because of this.// Remus realized. He wanted very much to finish the book, but he wasn't about to read it in the dorm! He new of a room where he wouldn't be bothered, if he felt like going there. Which he did.

Tucking the boom under his arm, he made his way through the halls-keeping a close eye out for Filch. He found the room-sometimes he could, sometimes he couldn't-and pushed open the door.

He wasn't the only one who used it. And it looked different, but not much. Pillows and cushions lined the floor, soft and plush and deep. And it was occupied.

"You!"

"I'm sorry!" Remus yelped. Severus was probably the last person he wanted to run into. Severus and his book.

"What do you want?" He asked, curling his body around the novel.

"I…I came to read." Remus said, sheepishly.

"Oh."

"Erm…what are you reading?" He ventured. Severus hadn't kicked him out, so he closed the door behind him and looked on with a vague and friendly look.

"I think you know that!"

"No…I was wondering the title? And…is it any good?" He sat down, nervously. He really didn't mind Severus at all.

"Why?" Obviously Severus minded *him*.

"Oh, it's just…I…I'm going to be done with this soon…" He indicated his own novel. "It's very good…by Aphrodite Brook…"

"Oh?"

"Erm. Yes." Remus gave a nervous smile. "I…it just caught my attention…"

"Which one is it? She has about a dozen out." While Severus wasn't exactly being *friendly*, he wasn't being hostile either. That was a start.

"It's…it's this one." Remus suddenly found he couldn't say the title out loud, not to Severus. Severus Knew, with capital K. He Knew about Remus' lycanthropy.

"Oh."

Well, that seemed to have killed the very cautious truce they had come to. Severus sneered down at the book, and sat back.

"I'm reading 'Criminal Passion'." Severus passed the book over. "It's about an auror who falls in love with the witch he's supposed to be after, but of course she didn't really do it, she was framed, and he has to prove her innocent."

"It's a modern day one, then?" For some reason that didn't appeal as much to Remus.

"Yeah. They're not quite as good as the historical ones, but it's the only one I haven't read yet. Out of the library's collection anyway." Severus shrugged. "Why do you read them?"

"Oh, well, I just wanted to see what the big deal was. My mum raves over them. I just…got hooked. You?"

"I started for the smutty bits." Severus said, honestly. "But some of them actually have good plots."

"I'd imagine…there's only so many different ways to write a sex scene…" Remus frowned. There hadn't been any adult bits in his book yet, but it looked like there would be soon.

"You'd be surprised." Severus said, his voice matter of fact. "There've been three sex scenes in here so far, and they've all been quite different. One was on a desk, one was in a bathtub, and the third one was on the floor of an abandoned cabin."

"Oh." Remus flushed a bit, drawing his knees up to his chin. "Here we have…" He opened the book, and flipped ahead a few pages. "Oh. On a table." He flushed bright scarlet as he began reading.

"What?" Severus asked, shifting closer and peering over Remus' shoulder.

"Nothing!" He slammed the book shut, breathing heavily.

"You're a real prude, you know that?" Severus snatched the book out of Remus' hands. "What was it? This?" He opened to where Remus had been, and began scanning the page. "I remember this one…you do know you've gone redder then tomato? You can't actually be *embarrassed*. Not after earlier at any rate…"

"No, I just…I…" Remus trailed off, swallowing. He *was* rather embarrassed. He was seventeen, and very much a virgin.

"Over what? This?" Severus raised an eyebrow, looking decidedly malevolent. To Remus' horror, he began to read aloud:

"Cael knew he had to be dreaming. Surely Ariana was an angel of his mind, clothed in pristine white. Her nightdress clung to her sweet young body, flowing over her perfect curves. His mouth went dry as she moved towards him, a finger to her lips to urge his silence. Her arms went around him, her lips found his. They were soft as rose petals, sweet and moist. Her body pressed against his, and he felt the swell of her breasts against his chest.

"Lifting her up, he settled her on the low table. He ran his tongue over her lips, seeking entry into her warm, wet mouth. She parted her lips as a flower opens to the sun, and he allowed his hands freedom of her body. Her breasts were firm and round under his touch, and he felt his manhood swell as her nipples hardened against his palm…'

"Good lord, Lupin, you really *are* embarrassed by this."

"Er…well…" Embarrassed yes. And a bit aroused. Severus' voice was…well, just plain amazing.

"I'd keep reading, but I'm afraid your head's going to explode." Severus arched an eyebrow.

"No…I…" He half wanted Severus to continue. His voice was like satin, really. And even if the subject matter was, well, *questionable*, that simply added to the effect.

"You're getting off on this, aren't you?" The eyebrow went higher, and Remus felt his face flooding with heat. "You are!"

"Well, it *is* a sex scene." Remus protested, grabbing a small pillow and hugging it tightly over his lap.

"Indeed. Should I continue?" Severus' voice was almost cruel.

"Yes." Remus muttered, in a small voice.

'Cael fondled her breasts, drawing the strap of her nightdress down. Her skin was white as milk and soft as velvet. He longed to taste it, and he did, lowering his lips to her satiny shoulder. Ariana writhed under his touch, and soon her body was bared to his hungry eyes…

"Lupin, I can't read this with you gaping like that."

"I'm sorry." Remus apologized. He wondered how he had come to be sitting a room full of pillows with Severus Snape, fully aroused.

"Here's your book." It was tossed back rather unceremoniously. "You're a real prude, Lupin."

I'm *not* a prude!" Remus protested.

"You are." Severus said, nodding. "Look at you…"

"I'm just…it's…*you're* a pervert!" Remus snapped, for lack of anything better to say.

"Am I?" Severus narrowed his eyes, and Remus suddenly felt like a mouse caught in the gaze of a cat. He froze, not certain what to do. Especially when Severus was moving close to him, and grabbing his shoulders roughly…

"Sev…Severus…"

"Shut up!" The Slytherin snapped, right before crushing his lips against Remus' in a rather brutal kiss. It was…shocking.

Remus became rapidly un-froze. He pushed at Severus, squirming to get away. The scrawny Slytherin was *strong*, for all his slight build. Remus yelped-or tried to-when he felt a slick tongue invading his mouth.

"Don't *ever* call me a pervert…" Severus hissed, pulling away. Remus nodded dumbly, ashamed at his body's sudden reaction to the kiss. It was because of the stupid book, that was all.

"I…I'm sorry…"

"You aren't." Severus said, raking his hair out of his face. "None of you ever are."

"I didn't…I didn't mean it like that." Remus tried to apologize. "If you...I don't care….what you like…I don't care what you *do*. *I* don't dislike you…"

"But you never stop them."

"I did today."

What followed was a very tense silence. Remus held himself back away from Severus, and the Slytherin was sitting much the same way.

"Don't tell anyone about this." Severus snapped, scowling.

"I won't." Remus promised. "And I mean it."

"Yes, I doubt you'd want to admit to that."

"No…you asked me not to tell." Remus said. He frowned. He'd never imagined his first kiss would be anything like that. He'd always rather thought it would be from a girl.

"What?" Severus snapped, sounding more cross then Remus could remember.

"I just…I never thought you'd be my first kiss." He admitted, shrugging.

"Oh." Severus glanced down, not sounding so cross anymore. "I didn't think I would be either."

"It's all right." Remus said. "At least I've *been* kissed now."

"Yes." Severus ran his hand over the back of his head, and Remus took a small, sick thrill in knowing he'd made the Slytherin uncomfortable.

"It wasn't a…a *bad* kiss." Remus offered. "It was…er…well, it was rough."

"It was supposed to me.'

"Ah." Remus nodded.

"what, did you want me to kiss you again? Gently?" Severus sneered, as though he had made a particularly cruel joke. Remus paused, thinking a moment.

"Yes, actually, I think I would."

"Oh." That obviously hadn't been expected. Severus licked his lips. "All right then."

Remus was ready this time. He leaned forward, parting his lips slightly as Severus did the same. So, he wasn't the *best* candidate for kissing, but he was the only one available. Remus *was* aware that seventeen and having his first kiss was rather pathetic.

This second kiss was a bit better then the first. It was certainly more like a real kiss was supposed to be, gentle and slow. Severus' lips were *very* moist, but weren't everyone's? It was over all too soon.

"Better?" Severus asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes, it was thank you." Remus said, nodding. "Er…how was I?"

"Fine." Severus shrugged. "I imagine you'll get better with practice."

"Are you offering?" He hoped that sounded flirtatious.

"No."

"Oh. I wouldn't mind if you did…"

"Lupin, I kissed you once to try and piss you off. I kissed you again because you're sad and pathetic. I am not going to kiss you anymore."

"Even if I'm cute and inviting?" Remus offered, trying to make his eyes very big.

"You're not."

"Not even a little?" Remus pushed.

"Maybe a little." Severus finally admitted. "But not enough for me to want to make a habit out of kissing you."

"I suppose it was worth a try." Remus shrugged. Severus wasn't bad at all, at least not when they were alone together. "I did enjoy kissing you…and it would be very romantic, you know. Opposing houses…clandestine meetings…"

"You've been reading too many romance novels." Severus told him.

"Maybe I have." Remus said, frowning. "But still…it wouldn't hurt to think about it, would it?"

"Yes, it would. It would hurt my mind to even consider something semi-permanent with you. First off, you are a Gryffindor. Second of all you're an animal. Third of all, you're friends have a history of attempting to kill me. I'm sorry, you're not worth the risk."

"How do you know?" Remus asked, batting his eyelashes. Girls always did it, why couldn't he?

"Because! I just kissed you! Twice!"

"Third times a charm…" Remus licked his lips invitingly.

"Oh for the love of…fine!" Severus grabbed him round the shoulders again and kissed him. Remus wasted no time in introducing tongues into the picture. That had been a very good idea. Severus' hands tightened on his shoulders, and ran his own tongue along Remus'. So much for not being worth it, apparently.

"We…shouldn't be dong this…" Severus panted, as Remus coaxed his tongue into his mouth.

"But we are…" Remus attempted to say. He didn't really want to talk right now. He leaned back, pulling Severus on top of him. He ran his hands down his back, their tongues dueling madly. This was pure heaven, Remus decided. Kissing really only got better.

Half an hour later, they were panting and disheveled. Remus felt like he would never have enough air in his lungs again.

"That was not supposed to happen." Severus muttered, frowning.

"I warned you…" Remus said, slightly chidingly.

"I don't mean *that*!" Severus snapped. "I mean any of it. It…it's not happening again!"

Remus' face fell. Of course, Severus had said he wouldn't kiss him again, either, and they had done much more then just kiss.

"If you say so…" Remus rolled over on to his side, curling up close to Severus. He received a scowl for his efforts, but Severus wrapped an arm around him anyway.

"You're a pain, you know that Lupin?"

"Not really." He quipped, resting his head on Severus' chest.

"What now?" The slytherin asked, quietly.

"I'm not sure." Remus admitted. He had no idea what came next, but he was looking forward to it. No one had to know, in fact he liked the idea. A secret romance…no matter what Severus said, *he* found it very appealing and romantic. He looked up, hopefully, and licked his lips.

"Maybe you could read to me some more…?"

~Fin~