A/N: Sorry that this has taken so long to get out. I've been VERY busy. I
recently got a car. 2003 Pontiac Sunfire. It's blue. Lol Nah, it's a
totally awesome car. But since then I've been on the run trying to find a
job. I have to pay for the car and in 4 months I'll be paying rent for an
apartment. Plus any extra money for things
::cougheyebrowringcoughtattoocough::. Lol Yeah, all the things my mom has
told me never to get. Yes, I'm the rebellious one in my family. EXTREMELY
rebellious compared to my sisters. Ah well, makes life interesting.
Anyways, this is the last chapter. And yes I've thrown in some drama. I
couldn't leave without throwing out that last bit of drama. And I also
decided to throw a twist on things. Damn I'm gonna miss this series. I
love ya'll for sticking with it. And as soon as things calm down a bit,
I'll get working again on my other stories. It's amazing how one simple
little thing like a car can make your life so hectic. So leave some
farewell reviews for me!!
**********************
"I'm so happy to see you, Darlin," dad said as Shane, Nero, and I walked into the house. K and Ben ran out of the living room to greet Nero before pulling him into the playroom. I laughed and stood up on my tip toes to hug the large man.
"Yeah, I missed you Daddy," I smiled.
"You wanted to talk to me about something?" he questioned as Shane shook the man's hand before bringing our bags up to the guest room.
"Yeah, um, let's sit down," I sighed.
"Oh no. Last time this all happened you told me that you and Shane had eloped," he groaned.
"Nothing like that. Although you will be shocked at what I have to say," I nodded following him into the living room. Shane joined us and sat next to me, across from the deadman.
"What's going on?"
"Well, happy news first," I smiled. "As I'm sure you can tell........." I pulled my tank top a bit tighter over my 3 month pregnant belly. "I'm pregnant."
"Oh sweetie, that's great!" he exclaimed happily moving to kiss my cheek. "When do we find out what it is?"
"Next month. I'm due March 1st, though," I replied.
"Congratulations you two. That explains why you've been taken off tv," he laughed.
"Yeah, well, don't expect me to be returning anytime soon," I sighed.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, as you know, Shane and Matt have opened up one of the most popular training centers and they're doing really well. There's even talk of the WWE sponsoring them and making The Imagi-Nation a training center under OVW," I explained.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that instead of the developmental wrestlers going right to OVW, they'll stop at The Imagi-Nation and train there for awhile. Plus it's open to the public and anyone that's fit enough to be a WWE wrestler will be noticed and possibly brought up to OVW and then up to WWE tv," Shane answered.
"Alright, well that's excellent. But what does The Imagi-Nation have to do with you not being on tv?"
"Well, I've been thinking and Shane and I have talked this over. Nero's going to be going to school soon and with the new baby on the way, it's going to be hard for me to travel so much. I think I'm going to retire," I said nervously.
"Retire?!" Dad exclaimed.
"Yeah, I don't want to miss out on any of Nero's life or the new baby's life either. So what I'm thinking about doing is retire from wrestling and help Shane and Matt out. Especially after I deliver."
"I can't believe this. I never thought I would ever hear you thinking about retiring."
"Well, it's gotta happen sometime Daddy. We can't keep shipping Nero off to his grandparents' houses. It's not fair to him or to them."
"Case, you love your job."
"Yes, but I love my baby more. I think it's for the best. At least right now. I mean there's nothing saying I have to retire permanently."
"That's very true." He sighed and ran a hand through is hair. He smiled slightly and shook his head. "Well, as long as you're happy, then do whatever you want."
"Besides, I'm like the only original Diva there. Amy retired right after Matt did. And once Trish had Ryan and Bridget, she became a full time mother and house wife. Nora married Chris and their working on a family, so she's out. Victoria's knee just finally gave out. And Torrie, Stacy, Dawn Marie, and Nidia are all too busy with their families to be full time divas now," I said.
"Very true. How is Trish dealing with the twins?" he grinned slouching down in his seat.
"She's doing fine. Ryan's a little trouble maker and Bridget seems to be more of the pretty queen type. But Trish is loving every second of all the mischief," I laughed.
"I bet they're beautiful little girls."
"They are. Bridget has Trish's beautiful brown eyes and Ryan has Chad's dark gray blue eyes. That seems to be the only difference between the two," Shane replied.
"Yeah? How does Nero take to them?"
"They're so funny. Bridget has like a crush on him. She blushes and is really shy when he's there. And Ryan's like Nero's best friend. They wrestle each other all the time."
"And Crystal and Shannon's daughter?"
"Willow's very studious. She loves to read. So she doesn't pay much attention to Nero. But Aurora just LOVES Nero. She's always trying to kiss him."
"Yeah, Aurora is quite the boy chaser. She's going to be a heartbreaker when she gets older," Shane laughed putting his arm around me. I smiled at him before running off to the bathroom.
"Is she alright?" Dad asked.
"Yeah, she's still getting "morning" sickness," Shane shook his head.
"Well good, that gives us men some time to talk," Dad grinned placing his elbows on his knees. Shane swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Um, talk, sir?" Shane questioned.
"Yes, talk."
"About?"
"About you and my daughter," Dad said crossing his large burly arms over his chest.
"Ah, I see........."
"What I want to know is what's the real reason to her retiring? What have you done or said to put it in her head that she needs to be home with the children at all times?"
"Sir, I haven't done anything or said anything to influence her decision one little bit. This was all her. We discussed it and I even tried to talk her out of it, but in the end she decided it was time for her to settle down. I swear."
"Hmm............and this training center is going to bring in enough money for you all to survive?"
"Oh yes! More than. We have quite a lot of students. I personally think it's because they loved the idea of being taught by a Hardy," Shane joked. Dad gave him a stern look. "But it's going well, and like we said earlier, Matt and I are talking with the WWE about making it another developmental training center. We're doing very well for ourselves."
"Alright, next thing I want to know is, will you be there for the delivery? You missed out on one child being born. Leaving your friend to do the dirty work. You should have been there son."
"I know. And I tried, really I did. But Nero was born 3 weeks early. I had the whole week he was supposed to be due already off, just so I'd be there. But I can't help it if he's an impatient kid," Shane laughed. "I'll definitely be there for this one. I don't want to miss one second. I'll be there the entire time."
"You had better be," Dad growled as I walked into the living room and sat back down next to Shane.
**********************
"Aurora Sky Moore, you get your butt back here!" Crystal called to the 3 year old brunette who decided it would be a good idea to run around the store we had currently stopped into in the mall. I laughed as Crystal let out an exasperated sigh. Willow rolled her eyes and took her younger sister's hand. Crystal shook her head and looked down at Nero who was standing there quietly next to me, holding onto the hem on my jeans. "I wish she could be a bit more like Nero. I can't believe how well behaved he is."
"Yeah, I thank God everyday for that," I smiled as I put my hand on my stomach, which had grown quite a lot, although it was very much expected being that I was in my 6th month. "I just hope she's as good as he is."
"Have you guys decided on a name for her yet?" Crystal asked as we began to roam the store a bit.
"We're kinda undecided. We like Alexandra Michelle, Alana Mae, and Megan Lynn. I'm pushing for Alexandra," I replied.
"They're all really pretty. I'm sure she'll be just as pretty as her name," Crystal smiled as Aurora ran under one of the clothes racks we were standing near. "Aurora!" The little girl peeked her head through the clothes and giggled as Nero sat on the floor next to me, patiently watching me look through the clothes rack. Crystal picked up a light blue tank top and held it up to me. "Oh, this is nice. You should definitely get it for after the pregnancy."
"I do like it," I grinned turning around to look at a mirror. I turned back and looked to the floor. I gasped as I searched around the area quickly. "He's gone. Mmmmy baby is gone!" Crystal dropped the shirt on the floor and helped me search the store while Willow and Aurora followed. "Nero!!" I yelled out hoping he'd respond. "Crystal, he's gone." I began to cry as she put her arms around me, embracing me in a hug.
"Shh, it'll be okay. We'll find him. We'll go report him missing to the service desk in the middle of the mall," Crystal said calmly leading me out of the store, making sure that her daughters were holding her hands tightly.
"My son, he's gone. I was looking at a shirt and when I turned around he was gone!" I cried to a mall security.
"You're going to have to describe him to me. What's he look like? How old is he? What's his name?" he reeled off questions to me.
"He's got blue eyes, spiky brown hair, he's 3, and his name is Nero Helms. He's wearing a Green Lantern t-shirt and blue jeans with baby nikes in green and white," I explained through my tears of fear. "Please find my baby. I can't lose him!"
"We'll try our best ma'am. I'm sure he didn't stray too far," he smiled down at me. I took a deep breath and turned my head towards the store I had lost Nero in. Walking towards me was an older lady holding the hand of my son. I crouched on the floor, as best as I could, as a happy smile crossed my face. Nero's face lit up and he ran to me as quickly as he could. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I held him close to my body as I stood. We pulled away from each other and I kissed his cheek.
"Oh God, I thought I had lost you," I smiled as tears continued to run down my face. "Don't ever do that to mommy again!"
"I'm sorry," he replied.
"I'm assuming that's her son?" the security office questioned Crystal.
"Yes, that'd be him. Thank you," she smiled.
"Where'd you go?" I asked as I set Nero on the floor.
"I just hid in the rack of clothes. Like Aura did," he answered looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.
"Just because Aurora did something, doesn't mean you should too, okay? You can't leave mommy's side like that. I thought you had been taken from me. You scared me baby," I said.
"I didn't mean to," he shook his head. I sighed and looked at the woman who had been with him. I gasped slightly and a glare was evident on my face. "This lady stayed with me mommy. She made sure I found you."
"I see," I nodded at him. "Thank you."
"He's a sweet boy," she smiled.
"Yeah, he is," I growled.
"Do you want me to take him for a bit?" Crystal whispered in my ear. I nodded at her and bent down to Nero. I fixed his hair a bit and smiled.
"Why don't you go with Auntie Crystal and get some ice cream, okay?" I said.
"Okay mommy," he smiled happily at me as he took Crystal's hand.
"Be sure to get me some too, okay?" I smiled.
"Chocolate with chocolate spinkles and rainbow spinkles," he replied.
"You know it kiddo," I laughed. He ran of with Crystal and her girls, leaving me with the lady.
"He's very polite. I'm glad to see you taught him how to behave," she smirked. "I'm assuming that he's yours."
"Of course he's mine," I shot back.
"Your's and Jeff's little boy, right?"
"No," I sighed. I took a deep breath and continued, "He's mine and Shane's."
"Didn't you marry Jeff?"
"No, I didn't. It didn't work out. Look, I don't know what you're doing here, or why you insist on haunting me like this. But this will be the last time you'll see me or my son," I growled.
"You should have told me. I believe I have a right to know that I have a grandson. What's his name?"
"He's not your grandson. He's not any relation to you. He doesn't know you and he never will."
"What's his name?" she pushed.
"Gregory Nero," I answered placing my hands on my hips.
"That's an odd name."
"I really don't care. He's loved and that's all that matters."
"Well of course it is. But I deserved to know about him being born!"
"You lost all your rights a LONG time ago. Why can't you just leave me alone!?"
"How old is he?'
"A little over 3 years old."
"Ya know, he kind of reminds me of Jeff only with dark hair," she said pointing towards Nero who had just sat down with the others in the food court. I looked over my shoulder at him and smiled.
"Just a coincidence," I shrugged.
"You've gained weight. Aren't you still doing that job of yours?"
"I've gained weight like any normal pregnant woman would."
"Oh, congratulations. How far along?"
"6 months. And it's a girl. And no you'll never see her."
"Fine. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful life. Well, I'm leaving now. It was good to see you Casey. Whether you believe it or not. Nero is a fine little boy and will probably a wonderful man when he grows up. Good luck."
"Mom, thank you for keeping Nero with you," I nodded at her. She smiled at me and walked away. I took a deep breath and put on a brave face as I walked to the table. I picked Nero up in my arms and sat him on my lap.
"Who was that?" Crystal asked.
"My mother," I grinned.
"Look Mommy, I got your ice cream!" I giggled as he picked up the spoon in the bowl and proceeded to feed it to me. With my lips covered in ice cream, I placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
******************
"Can I see Jeff?" Nero asked as we walked in the door from our eventful day shopping. Nero brought a smile to my face as his blue eyes seemed to sparkle with pride when he mentioned Jeff's name.
"Of course you can," I nodded setting my keys on the table by the door. Nero cuddled up on the couch with his blanket and Jeff Hardy action figure while I popped in a tape. I kissed the top of Nero's head and smiled before walking away.
I walked into the kitchen and started making dinner, Nero's favorite, spaghetti. I placed my hands on the counter as I listened to the tape being played in the living room. I heard Jeff's voice and smiled when Nero's giggles filled my ears. It wasn't too much later when Shane walked in the house from a long day at the center, training.
"Hey kiddo," Shane said as I watched him place a kiss on the top of Nero's head. Nero looked up at Shane and smiled. Shane ruffled up Nero's hair a bit and moved towards the kitchen. "Honey, I'm home!"
"So I hear," I grinned receiving a deep kiss from my husband. "How was work?"
"Great, the kids are really progressing nicely," he nodded as he revealed a bundle of red roses out from behind his back. "I love you."
"Oh Shane, they're beautiful. But what are they for?" I questioned sniffing each and every one of the 12.
"Just because. Because you're carrying my daughter. Because you're still married to me. Because I love you. And because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and roses can never compare to your beauty," he smiled.
"Sweet talker," I laughed filling a vase with water. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes, turning the facet off.
"Baby, are you okay?" Shane worried as he walked up behind me. He rubbed my shoulders gently and I began to sniffle and push back tears. I turned around and looked up into his chocolate brown eyes.
"He was gone Shane. I thought I had lost him forever," I cried burying my head in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around me and combed his fingers through my hair.
"Shh, sweetie, what are you talking about? Who did you think you lost?"
"Nero."
"But he's right in the living room," Shane chuckled pointing to the little boy sitting on the couch watching Jeff fly through the air.
"Now he is. He left my side for one minute. I thought someone had taken him. And then she was there, with him, holding his hand, until I found him."
"I'm confused. She, who?"
"My mother."
"What?!" Shane exclaimed gripping onto my shoulders. "What did she do? Did she hurt him? Did she hurt you?"
"No, we're fine. She protected him. Watched him. She let him go when he saw me. It's like she truly cared for his well being," I blinked, letting loose a new set of tears. For the first time, I saw her as my mom. Not as Judy. But my mom."
"Huh.............so, what happened?"
"Nero did an Aurora. He hid in the clothes racks. And I thought he'd been taken. So I ran to the security to desk and then he was there. With my mom right by his side."
"Well, he's fine now, Angel. I'm sure he'll never do anything like that again," Shane gave me a half smile and ran his hand down my wet cheek.
"I was so scared Sugar. God, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost him," I said shaking my head.
"Probably another Jeff thing. He was probably looking after Nero the whole time. He would have taken Nero back to you eventually," Shane winked at me. I smiled and nodded knowing that he was right.
********************
A month later and well into January, I found myself in front of Jeff's headstone. I smiled at it, no longer feeling the need to cry when around it. I had somehow managed to sit on the ground, though cold, it had no snow and was dry. I would worry about getting up when that time had come. I took a deep breath and looked up at the bright blue sky.
"As you can tell, I'm pregnant again. It's a girl this time. Shane and I decided on a name too. Alexandra Michelle. So..........." I paused and blue a raspberry at the stone. I laughed and shook my head. "Jeff, you know this isn't a regular visit. You know I came here for a purpose. These monthly visits are getting, well, a little tedious, I suppose. I love coming here and talking to you. You know that. But............"
My smile faded and I closed my eyes tightly, thinking hard about what I was about to say. I had to say it perfectly so nothing would be misunderstood. This was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do.
"I think I need to let you go. It's been years now and you're still the number one thing on my mind. I know that you'll always be there, but something's got to give. Jeff I love you so much. You know that more than anybody." I ran my hand along the cold marble. "But I've thought long and hard about this and have decided it best that I stop coming here. This is my last visit. But don't think that you'll go forgotten. You won't. There's know way I could forget about you," I laughed as a tear ran down my cheek. "How could I when everytime I look at Nero, I see you?"
"I figure that if I stop coming then my life will go on easier. I'll put other things first and fore most. Visiting you won't be the number one thing on my mind. You'll always be in my heart Jeff. You'll always be there in everything I do. And in everything he does." I thought about Nero for a moment, and all the features he had. His nose, his grin, his face, it all just screamed Jeff. "That nite was the best nite of my life. And I'll never forget what you gave me. You gave me the best gift anyone could give me. You gave me Nero. And that will go to the grave with me. I thank you everyday for the precious gift you gave me that nite. And how willing you were to just let it all go. To not care that he'll never know about.........well, his father." I kissed the stone and thought back to the nite Nero was conceived.
'Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door'
"Jeff, I'm so worried. What if for whatever reason, Shane and I can't have kids?" I cried as I sat on his bed in the hotel room. He sat next to me, rubbing my arm comfortingly.
"Babe, you got checked out. You're fine," he replied.
"I am, but what if he's not?" I questioned.
"Didn't you tell him that you went to the doctor's?"
"No, I couldn't. I just kept thinking that he would think it's his fault we can't get pregnant. I want this Jeff. I want it so badly," I cried onto his shoulder.
'I saw you smile
And my mind could not erase the beauty of you face'
He placed his hand under my chin, and raised my head so that I could look into his eyes. He had a smile on his face and his green eyes sparkled brightly. "I know this is going to be the stupidest idea ever. And that you're going to say no. But think of about it, okay? Just for 5 minutes even," he said before taking a deep breath. "We were already pregnant, you and me. If we could to it once, we could do it again. I want you to be happy. And if you being happy means that you raise my child as Shane's, then so be it."
"I don't understand, Jeff."
"Casey, I'm willing to give you what you want. I'll sleep with you, if you think there's a chance you might get pregnant from it. And I'm not asking for any part in the baby's life, if we should be successful. No one would have to know except you and me. The baby could be yours and Shane's. I'm alright with that."
"Jeff, no, that's wrong. I cheated on one man I loved already. I won't do it again," I replied.
'Just for awhile
Won't you let me shelter you'
"Casey, this could be you're only chance to have a baby. One that's yours. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it as creating something great out of love," he said. I looked into his face, seeing the seriousness on it.
"I don't know Jeff. I don't think I feel comfortable about it," I shook my head.
"Like I said, just think about it. You don't have to make a decision right now."
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories'
I sat there, thinking about what this could do to me, Jeff, and Shane. If all went well, Shane and I would have a baby and no one would know the truth about it all. If I didn't get pregnant, than it was no big deal, nothing had really changed. If it all went bad, I could lose everything. Was I truly willing to take that chance?
'I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
I looked into Jeff's eyes, once again, and saw the love that he still had for me. I wanted to believe that this was all a selfish act, that he just wanted to have one last nite of love with me. But his eyes told me otherwise. I knew that he was doing this out of purely non selfish reasons and that he truly did care for me and wanted me to have a baby with Shane.
'How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise'
"Jeff, this is probably going to be a BIG mistake, but yes. I want this too much to pass up a chance like this. God I'm taking such a big risk by doing this, but I want this so badly. And I know you can make it happen," I cried. He smiled and wiped my cheeks gently with his sleeve.
"Alright. We just have to be careful. Make sure that no one finds out about this. And like I said, I want you to be happy. If this will make you happy, than let's do it, no pun intended," he joked making me laugh. I bit on my lip and nodded.
Taking the first step, I leaned over and kissed him, feeling an electric shock go through my body. He moved his hands all over my back and reaching under my shirt to pull it over my head. He threw it on the floor and smiled at me. "Are you positive you want to do this?" he questioned.
"Yeah, I am," I replied.
'Do we break another rule
Let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how
To stop feeling this way'
Yeah, maybe I was making the biggest mistake of my life, but it could also turn out to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Jeff always wanted me to be happy. No matter what happened between the two of us, he loved me. Truly, madly, deeply. The best thing I could have ever asked for. And him giving me a part him to make a child, well, that was just another step of his love for me.
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
I smiled laying my head on Jeff's bare sweaty chest. I could feel it rise with every in take of air. He held onto me, protecting me, loving me, never letting me go. Something inside me made me feel, happy, almost giddy. And I had Jeff to thank for that.
'Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free'
Even though what was made that nite was something special, a feeling for Jeff, that I had pushed back had come forward. I was in love with him again that nite. And I knew from that moment on I would always be in love with him. But only I was to know that.
'Everytime I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there'
I sighed as I looked out over the cemetery, snow falling lightly from the sky which had clouded up during my mind lapse to the past. I saw him, I know I did. He stood there, helped me up, and smiled. His green eyes were the brightest part about him. Little hazel specks stood out amongst the color and I knew the man I loved was a part of the past.
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories'
"I understand what you're doing. It's time. And it's time for me to let you go too. I'll always be there in dire needs, but you don't need me, not the way you used to. If you fall, I won't be there to pick you up anymore. If you cry, I won't be there to wipe your tears away. If you're scared, I won't be there to fight your fears. You're on your on now," he spoke softly.
"I will always love you Jeff. And I will always make sure that Nero knows you. That Nero knows what a great person you are. He'll always carry a bit of you in him. You are a part him and I see that everyday that I look at him. He's your son. And always will be," I cried even though I had a smile on my face.
'I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
"That's all I ask. Remember, you'll always have your memories. I love you Casey," he started to fade away, leaving these words in a whisper, "I'm your star."
I laughed as my tears dripped on the ground. I looked up at the sky and nodded. I crossed my arms, and started to walk away, never looking back.
*************************
On March 1st, right on the due date, Alexandra Michelle was born. Shane was right there by my side. The 7 lbs, 3 oz, baby girl looked just like her father. It was amazing the resemblance. And Nero, well, he was quite smitten with his little sister. I could tell he was going to be a very responsible big brother. We had a family.
I never went back to Jeff's burial site. Though I talked to him a few times, but only when I felt I needed him the most. Shane and Matt's training center became WWE's top developmental training place. When Shannon retired, he too became a trainer. They taught some of the best new cruiserweights. They were definitely in their element.
As for my job, I went back to the WWE when Nero started preschool and Alexandra turned one. It was only a job on the creative team, but it was a great place to start. About a year later I was brought up to TV and was a co-GM for the RAW brand with Adam. Nero and Alexandra went with me when they could.
A couple years later, Gil died. It was hard. I had lost some else very close to me. Nero missed him most of all. He was 8 when he died. He missed fishing with his grandfather most of all and hearing all the crazy stories about Jeff and Matt. As Nero got older, he began to look more and more like me. Only keeping the dark hair from his real father's side of the family. No one ever found out about mine and Jeff's secret.
I look back now and see the life I had was a dream come true. It was full of hard times, sad times, but more importantly, it had good times. Those good times stand out amongst all the bad times, as they should. I learned a lot from every experience that I had. And I grew from all of them too. You have to take whatever life throws at you and not dwell in the past. You have to be strong and you have to let people into your life. Don't push them away. Love your life, your friends, your family, but most of all, love yourself. You're the only one that truly should matter to you. Put you first and worry about others later. Just know that you'll survive and that somewhere, someone, believes in you.
********************
A/N: Well, how was that for an ending, huh? I had like 50 different endings I was thinking bout doing. This one was one of them and obviously won. Lol I was gonna keep Jeff alive. I was going to not have Nero be Jeff's son. I was going to end it with Jeff saying he was leaving Casey and not the other way around. And then the one that I was really considering doing, having Casey wake up and the past, ummm, 10 years be nothing but a dream. Lol Meaning she would wake up in her home in Maine at the age of 18. Back to where it all started. And she just dreamt about running away and all the stuff that happened. But I figured I couldn't do that to ya'll. Lol There were a few other options. But I thought this was a pretty good ending. So, umm, the song was Richard Marx "Hold onto the Nights". That's it. GOODBYE EVERYONE!!! I'll hopefully see ya'll soon with one of my other stories which I will get to soon, hopefully. Lol I'm also now very in love with the name Aurora Sky. I think it's just a very beautiful name. And I'm not very happy with this chapter. It came out better in my head than it did when I typed it up. Ah well, it'll do. Leave me some good reviews, k?
**********************
"I'm so happy to see you, Darlin," dad said as Shane, Nero, and I walked into the house. K and Ben ran out of the living room to greet Nero before pulling him into the playroom. I laughed and stood up on my tip toes to hug the large man.
"Yeah, I missed you Daddy," I smiled.
"You wanted to talk to me about something?" he questioned as Shane shook the man's hand before bringing our bags up to the guest room.
"Yeah, um, let's sit down," I sighed.
"Oh no. Last time this all happened you told me that you and Shane had eloped," he groaned.
"Nothing like that. Although you will be shocked at what I have to say," I nodded following him into the living room. Shane joined us and sat next to me, across from the deadman.
"What's going on?"
"Well, happy news first," I smiled. "As I'm sure you can tell........." I pulled my tank top a bit tighter over my 3 month pregnant belly. "I'm pregnant."
"Oh sweetie, that's great!" he exclaimed happily moving to kiss my cheek. "When do we find out what it is?"
"Next month. I'm due March 1st, though," I replied.
"Congratulations you two. That explains why you've been taken off tv," he laughed.
"Yeah, well, don't expect me to be returning anytime soon," I sighed.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, as you know, Shane and Matt have opened up one of the most popular training centers and they're doing really well. There's even talk of the WWE sponsoring them and making The Imagi-Nation a training center under OVW," I explained.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that instead of the developmental wrestlers going right to OVW, they'll stop at The Imagi-Nation and train there for awhile. Plus it's open to the public and anyone that's fit enough to be a WWE wrestler will be noticed and possibly brought up to OVW and then up to WWE tv," Shane answered.
"Alright, well that's excellent. But what does The Imagi-Nation have to do with you not being on tv?"
"Well, I've been thinking and Shane and I have talked this over. Nero's going to be going to school soon and with the new baby on the way, it's going to be hard for me to travel so much. I think I'm going to retire," I said nervously.
"Retire?!" Dad exclaimed.
"Yeah, I don't want to miss out on any of Nero's life or the new baby's life either. So what I'm thinking about doing is retire from wrestling and help Shane and Matt out. Especially after I deliver."
"I can't believe this. I never thought I would ever hear you thinking about retiring."
"Well, it's gotta happen sometime Daddy. We can't keep shipping Nero off to his grandparents' houses. It's not fair to him or to them."
"Case, you love your job."
"Yes, but I love my baby more. I think it's for the best. At least right now. I mean there's nothing saying I have to retire permanently."
"That's very true." He sighed and ran a hand through is hair. He smiled slightly and shook his head. "Well, as long as you're happy, then do whatever you want."
"Besides, I'm like the only original Diva there. Amy retired right after Matt did. And once Trish had Ryan and Bridget, she became a full time mother and house wife. Nora married Chris and their working on a family, so she's out. Victoria's knee just finally gave out. And Torrie, Stacy, Dawn Marie, and Nidia are all too busy with their families to be full time divas now," I said.
"Very true. How is Trish dealing with the twins?" he grinned slouching down in his seat.
"She's doing fine. Ryan's a little trouble maker and Bridget seems to be more of the pretty queen type. But Trish is loving every second of all the mischief," I laughed.
"I bet they're beautiful little girls."
"They are. Bridget has Trish's beautiful brown eyes and Ryan has Chad's dark gray blue eyes. That seems to be the only difference between the two," Shane replied.
"Yeah? How does Nero take to them?"
"They're so funny. Bridget has like a crush on him. She blushes and is really shy when he's there. And Ryan's like Nero's best friend. They wrestle each other all the time."
"And Crystal and Shannon's daughter?"
"Willow's very studious. She loves to read. So she doesn't pay much attention to Nero. But Aurora just LOVES Nero. She's always trying to kiss him."
"Yeah, Aurora is quite the boy chaser. She's going to be a heartbreaker when she gets older," Shane laughed putting his arm around me. I smiled at him before running off to the bathroom.
"Is she alright?" Dad asked.
"Yeah, she's still getting "morning" sickness," Shane shook his head.
"Well good, that gives us men some time to talk," Dad grinned placing his elbows on his knees. Shane swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Um, talk, sir?" Shane questioned.
"Yes, talk."
"About?"
"About you and my daughter," Dad said crossing his large burly arms over his chest.
"Ah, I see........."
"What I want to know is what's the real reason to her retiring? What have you done or said to put it in her head that she needs to be home with the children at all times?"
"Sir, I haven't done anything or said anything to influence her decision one little bit. This was all her. We discussed it and I even tried to talk her out of it, but in the end she decided it was time for her to settle down. I swear."
"Hmm............and this training center is going to bring in enough money for you all to survive?"
"Oh yes! More than. We have quite a lot of students. I personally think it's because they loved the idea of being taught by a Hardy," Shane joked. Dad gave him a stern look. "But it's going well, and like we said earlier, Matt and I are talking with the WWE about making it another developmental training center. We're doing very well for ourselves."
"Alright, next thing I want to know is, will you be there for the delivery? You missed out on one child being born. Leaving your friend to do the dirty work. You should have been there son."
"I know. And I tried, really I did. But Nero was born 3 weeks early. I had the whole week he was supposed to be due already off, just so I'd be there. But I can't help it if he's an impatient kid," Shane laughed. "I'll definitely be there for this one. I don't want to miss one second. I'll be there the entire time."
"You had better be," Dad growled as I walked into the living room and sat back down next to Shane.
**********************
"Aurora Sky Moore, you get your butt back here!" Crystal called to the 3 year old brunette who decided it would be a good idea to run around the store we had currently stopped into in the mall. I laughed as Crystal let out an exasperated sigh. Willow rolled her eyes and took her younger sister's hand. Crystal shook her head and looked down at Nero who was standing there quietly next to me, holding onto the hem on my jeans. "I wish she could be a bit more like Nero. I can't believe how well behaved he is."
"Yeah, I thank God everyday for that," I smiled as I put my hand on my stomach, which had grown quite a lot, although it was very much expected being that I was in my 6th month. "I just hope she's as good as he is."
"Have you guys decided on a name for her yet?" Crystal asked as we began to roam the store a bit.
"We're kinda undecided. We like Alexandra Michelle, Alana Mae, and Megan Lynn. I'm pushing for Alexandra," I replied.
"They're all really pretty. I'm sure she'll be just as pretty as her name," Crystal smiled as Aurora ran under one of the clothes racks we were standing near. "Aurora!" The little girl peeked her head through the clothes and giggled as Nero sat on the floor next to me, patiently watching me look through the clothes rack. Crystal picked up a light blue tank top and held it up to me. "Oh, this is nice. You should definitely get it for after the pregnancy."
"I do like it," I grinned turning around to look at a mirror. I turned back and looked to the floor. I gasped as I searched around the area quickly. "He's gone. Mmmmy baby is gone!" Crystal dropped the shirt on the floor and helped me search the store while Willow and Aurora followed. "Nero!!" I yelled out hoping he'd respond. "Crystal, he's gone." I began to cry as she put her arms around me, embracing me in a hug.
"Shh, it'll be okay. We'll find him. We'll go report him missing to the service desk in the middle of the mall," Crystal said calmly leading me out of the store, making sure that her daughters were holding her hands tightly.
"My son, he's gone. I was looking at a shirt and when I turned around he was gone!" I cried to a mall security.
"You're going to have to describe him to me. What's he look like? How old is he? What's his name?" he reeled off questions to me.
"He's got blue eyes, spiky brown hair, he's 3, and his name is Nero Helms. He's wearing a Green Lantern t-shirt and blue jeans with baby nikes in green and white," I explained through my tears of fear. "Please find my baby. I can't lose him!"
"We'll try our best ma'am. I'm sure he didn't stray too far," he smiled down at me. I took a deep breath and turned my head towards the store I had lost Nero in. Walking towards me was an older lady holding the hand of my son. I crouched on the floor, as best as I could, as a happy smile crossed my face. Nero's face lit up and he ran to me as quickly as he could. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I held him close to my body as I stood. We pulled away from each other and I kissed his cheek.
"Oh God, I thought I had lost you," I smiled as tears continued to run down my face. "Don't ever do that to mommy again!"
"I'm sorry," he replied.
"I'm assuming that's her son?" the security office questioned Crystal.
"Yes, that'd be him. Thank you," she smiled.
"Where'd you go?" I asked as I set Nero on the floor.
"I just hid in the rack of clothes. Like Aura did," he answered looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.
"Just because Aurora did something, doesn't mean you should too, okay? You can't leave mommy's side like that. I thought you had been taken from me. You scared me baby," I said.
"I didn't mean to," he shook his head. I sighed and looked at the woman who had been with him. I gasped slightly and a glare was evident on my face. "This lady stayed with me mommy. She made sure I found you."
"I see," I nodded at him. "Thank you."
"He's a sweet boy," she smiled.
"Yeah, he is," I growled.
"Do you want me to take him for a bit?" Crystal whispered in my ear. I nodded at her and bent down to Nero. I fixed his hair a bit and smiled.
"Why don't you go with Auntie Crystal and get some ice cream, okay?" I said.
"Okay mommy," he smiled happily at me as he took Crystal's hand.
"Be sure to get me some too, okay?" I smiled.
"Chocolate with chocolate spinkles and rainbow spinkles," he replied.
"You know it kiddo," I laughed. He ran of with Crystal and her girls, leaving me with the lady.
"He's very polite. I'm glad to see you taught him how to behave," she smirked. "I'm assuming that he's yours."
"Of course he's mine," I shot back.
"Your's and Jeff's little boy, right?"
"No," I sighed. I took a deep breath and continued, "He's mine and Shane's."
"Didn't you marry Jeff?"
"No, I didn't. It didn't work out. Look, I don't know what you're doing here, or why you insist on haunting me like this. But this will be the last time you'll see me or my son," I growled.
"You should have told me. I believe I have a right to know that I have a grandson. What's his name?"
"He's not your grandson. He's not any relation to you. He doesn't know you and he never will."
"What's his name?" she pushed.
"Gregory Nero," I answered placing my hands on my hips.
"That's an odd name."
"I really don't care. He's loved and that's all that matters."
"Well of course it is. But I deserved to know about him being born!"
"You lost all your rights a LONG time ago. Why can't you just leave me alone!?"
"How old is he?'
"A little over 3 years old."
"Ya know, he kind of reminds me of Jeff only with dark hair," she said pointing towards Nero who had just sat down with the others in the food court. I looked over my shoulder at him and smiled.
"Just a coincidence," I shrugged.
"You've gained weight. Aren't you still doing that job of yours?"
"I've gained weight like any normal pregnant woman would."
"Oh, congratulations. How far along?"
"6 months. And it's a girl. And no you'll never see her."
"Fine. I'm sure she'll have a wonderful life. Well, I'm leaving now. It was good to see you Casey. Whether you believe it or not. Nero is a fine little boy and will probably a wonderful man when he grows up. Good luck."
"Mom, thank you for keeping Nero with you," I nodded at her. She smiled at me and walked away. I took a deep breath and put on a brave face as I walked to the table. I picked Nero up in my arms and sat him on my lap.
"Who was that?" Crystal asked.
"My mother," I grinned.
"Look Mommy, I got your ice cream!" I giggled as he picked up the spoon in the bowl and proceeded to feed it to me. With my lips covered in ice cream, I placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
******************
"Can I see Jeff?" Nero asked as we walked in the door from our eventful day shopping. Nero brought a smile to my face as his blue eyes seemed to sparkle with pride when he mentioned Jeff's name.
"Of course you can," I nodded setting my keys on the table by the door. Nero cuddled up on the couch with his blanket and Jeff Hardy action figure while I popped in a tape. I kissed the top of Nero's head and smiled before walking away.
I walked into the kitchen and started making dinner, Nero's favorite, spaghetti. I placed my hands on the counter as I listened to the tape being played in the living room. I heard Jeff's voice and smiled when Nero's giggles filled my ears. It wasn't too much later when Shane walked in the house from a long day at the center, training.
"Hey kiddo," Shane said as I watched him place a kiss on the top of Nero's head. Nero looked up at Shane and smiled. Shane ruffled up Nero's hair a bit and moved towards the kitchen. "Honey, I'm home!"
"So I hear," I grinned receiving a deep kiss from my husband. "How was work?"
"Great, the kids are really progressing nicely," he nodded as he revealed a bundle of red roses out from behind his back. "I love you."
"Oh Shane, they're beautiful. But what are they for?" I questioned sniffing each and every one of the 12.
"Just because. Because you're carrying my daughter. Because you're still married to me. Because I love you. And because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and roses can never compare to your beauty," he smiled.
"Sweet talker," I laughed filling a vase with water. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes, turning the facet off.
"Baby, are you okay?" Shane worried as he walked up behind me. He rubbed my shoulders gently and I began to sniffle and push back tears. I turned around and looked up into his chocolate brown eyes.
"He was gone Shane. I thought I had lost him forever," I cried burying my head in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around me and combed his fingers through my hair.
"Shh, sweetie, what are you talking about? Who did you think you lost?"
"Nero."
"But he's right in the living room," Shane chuckled pointing to the little boy sitting on the couch watching Jeff fly through the air.
"Now he is. He left my side for one minute. I thought someone had taken him. And then she was there, with him, holding his hand, until I found him."
"I'm confused. She, who?"
"My mother."
"What?!" Shane exclaimed gripping onto my shoulders. "What did she do? Did she hurt him? Did she hurt you?"
"No, we're fine. She protected him. Watched him. She let him go when he saw me. It's like she truly cared for his well being," I blinked, letting loose a new set of tears. For the first time, I saw her as my mom. Not as Judy. But my mom."
"Huh.............so, what happened?"
"Nero did an Aurora. He hid in the clothes racks. And I thought he'd been taken. So I ran to the security to desk and then he was there. With my mom right by his side."
"Well, he's fine now, Angel. I'm sure he'll never do anything like that again," Shane gave me a half smile and ran his hand down my wet cheek.
"I was so scared Sugar. God, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost him," I said shaking my head.
"Probably another Jeff thing. He was probably looking after Nero the whole time. He would have taken Nero back to you eventually," Shane winked at me. I smiled and nodded knowing that he was right.
********************
A month later and well into January, I found myself in front of Jeff's headstone. I smiled at it, no longer feeling the need to cry when around it. I had somehow managed to sit on the ground, though cold, it had no snow and was dry. I would worry about getting up when that time had come. I took a deep breath and looked up at the bright blue sky.
"As you can tell, I'm pregnant again. It's a girl this time. Shane and I decided on a name too. Alexandra Michelle. So..........." I paused and blue a raspberry at the stone. I laughed and shook my head. "Jeff, you know this isn't a regular visit. You know I came here for a purpose. These monthly visits are getting, well, a little tedious, I suppose. I love coming here and talking to you. You know that. But............"
My smile faded and I closed my eyes tightly, thinking hard about what I was about to say. I had to say it perfectly so nothing would be misunderstood. This was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do.
"I think I need to let you go. It's been years now and you're still the number one thing on my mind. I know that you'll always be there, but something's got to give. Jeff I love you so much. You know that more than anybody." I ran my hand along the cold marble. "But I've thought long and hard about this and have decided it best that I stop coming here. This is my last visit. But don't think that you'll go forgotten. You won't. There's know way I could forget about you," I laughed as a tear ran down my cheek. "How could I when everytime I look at Nero, I see you?"
"I figure that if I stop coming then my life will go on easier. I'll put other things first and fore most. Visiting you won't be the number one thing on my mind. You'll always be in my heart Jeff. You'll always be there in everything I do. And in everything he does." I thought about Nero for a moment, and all the features he had. His nose, his grin, his face, it all just screamed Jeff. "That nite was the best nite of my life. And I'll never forget what you gave me. You gave me the best gift anyone could give me. You gave me Nero. And that will go to the grave with me. I thank you everyday for the precious gift you gave me that nite. And how willing you were to just let it all go. To not care that he'll never know about.........well, his father." I kissed the stone and thought back to the nite Nero was conceived.
'Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door'
"Jeff, I'm so worried. What if for whatever reason, Shane and I can't have kids?" I cried as I sat on his bed in the hotel room. He sat next to me, rubbing my arm comfortingly.
"Babe, you got checked out. You're fine," he replied.
"I am, but what if he's not?" I questioned.
"Didn't you tell him that you went to the doctor's?"
"No, I couldn't. I just kept thinking that he would think it's his fault we can't get pregnant. I want this Jeff. I want it so badly," I cried onto his shoulder.
'I saw you smile
And my mind could not erase the beauty of you face'
He placed his hand under my chin, and raised my head so that I could look into his eyes. He had a smile on his face and his green eyes sparkled brightly. "I know this is going to be the stupidest idea ever. And that you're going to say no. But think of about it, okay? Just for 5 minutes even," he said before taking a deep breath. "We were already pregnant, you and me. If we could to it once, we could do it again. I want you to be happy. And if you being happy means that you raise my child as Shane's, then so be it."
"I don't understand, Jeff."
"Casey, I'm willing to give you what you want. I'll sleep with you, if you think there's a chance you might get pregnant from it. And I'm not asking for any part in the baby's life, if we should be successful. No one would have to know except you and me. The baby could be yours and Shane's. I'm alright with that."
"Jeff, no, that's wrong. I cheated on one man I loved already. I won't do it again," I replied.
'Just for awhile
Won't you let me shelter you'
"Casey, this could be you're only chance to have a baby. One that's yours. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it as creating something great out of love," he said. I looked into his face, seeing the seriousness on it.
"I don't know Jeff. I don't think I feel comfortable about it," I shook my head.
"Like I said, just think about it. You don't have to make a decision right now."
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories'
I sat there, thinking about what this could do to me, Jeff, and Shane. If all went well, Shane and I would have a baby and no one would know the truth about it all. If I didn't get pregnant, than it was no big deal, nothing had really changed. If it all went bad, I could lose everything. Was I truly willing to take that chance?
'I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
I looked into Jeff's eyes, once again, and saw the love that he still had for me. I wanted to believe that this was all a selfish act, that he just wanted to have one last nite of love with me. But his eyes told me otherwise. I knew that he was doing this out of purely non selfish reasons and that he truly did care for me and wanted me to have a baby with Shane.
'How do we explain something that took us by surprise
Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise'
"Jeff, this is probably going to be a BIG mistake, but yes. I want this too much to pass up a chance like this. God I'm taking such a big risk by doing this, but I want this so badly. And I know you can make it happen," I cried. He smiled and wiped my cheeks gently with his sleeve.
"Alright. We just have to be careful. Make sure that no one finds out about this. And like I said, I want you to be happy. If this will make you happy, than let's do it, no pun intended," he joked making me laugh. I bit on my lip and nodded.
Taking the first step, I leaned over and kissed him, feeling an electric shock go through my body. He moved his hands all over my back and reaching under my shirt to pull it over my head. He threw it on the floor and smiled at me. "Are you positive you want to do this?" he questioned.
"Yeah, I am," I replied.
'Do we break another rule
Let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how
To stop feeling this way'
Yeah, maybe I was making the biggest mistake of my life, but it could also turn out to be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Jeff always wanted me to be happy. No matter what happened between the two of us, he loved me. Truly, madly, deeply. The best thing I could have ever asked for. And him giving me a part him to make a child, well, that was just another step of his love for me.
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
I smiled laying my head on Jeff's bare sweaty chest. I could feel it rise with every in take of air. He held onto me, protecting me, loving me, never letting me go. Something inside me made me feel, happy, almost giddy. And I had Jeff to thank for that.
'Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free'
Even though what was made that nite was something special, a feeling for Jeff, that I had pushed back had come forward. I was in love with him again that nite. And I knew from that moment on I would always be in love with him. But only I was to know that.
'Everytime I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware
That the someone I've been searching for is right there'
I sighed as I looked out over the cemetery, snow falling lightly from the sky which had clouded up during my mind lapse to the past. I saw him, I know I did. He stood there, helped me up, and smiled. His green eyes were the brightest part about him. Little hazel specks stood out amongst the color and I knew the man I loved was a part of the past.
'Hold on to the nights
Hold on to the memories'
"I understand what you're doing. It's time. And it's time for me to let you go too. I'll always be there in dire needs, but you don't need me, not the way you used to. If you fall, I won't be there to pick you up anymore. If you cry, I won't be there to wipe your tears away. If you're scared, I won't be there to fight your fears. You're on your on now," he spoke softly.
"I will always love you Jeff. And I will always make sure that Nero knows you. That Nero knows what a great person you are. He'll always carry a bit of you in him. You are a part him and I see that everyday that I look at him. He's your son. And always will be," I cried even though I had a smile on my face.
'I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours'
"That's all I ask. Remember, you'll always have your memories. I love you Casey," he started to fade away, leaving these words in a whisper, "I'm your star."
I laughed as my tears dripped on the ground. I looked up at the sky and nodded. I crossed my arms, and started to walk away, never looking back.
*************************
On March 1st, right on the due date, Alexandra Michelle was born. Shane was right there by my side. The 7 lbs, 3 oz, baby girl looked just like her father. It was amazing the resemblance. And Nero, well, he was quite smitten with his little sister. I could tell he was going to be a very responsible big brother. We had a family.
I never went back to Jeff's burial site. Though I talked to him a few times, but only when I felt I needed him the most. Shane and Matt's training center became WWE's top developmental training place. When Shannon retired, he too became a trainer. They taught some of the best new cruiserweights. They were definitely in their element.
As for my job, I went back to the WWE when Nero started preschool and Alexandra turned one. It was only a job on the creative team, but it was a great place to start. About a year later I was brought up to TV and was a co-GM for the RAW brand with Adam. Nero and Alexandra went with me when they could.
A couple years later, Gil died. It was hard. I had lost some else very close to me. Nero missed him most of all. He was 8 when he died. He missed fishing with his grandfather most of all and hearing all the crazy stories about Jeff and Matt. As Nero got older, he began to look more and more like me. Only keeping the dark hair from his real father's side of the family. No one ever found out about mine and Jeff's secret.
I look back now and see the life I had was a dream come true. It was full of hard times, sad times, but more importantly, it had good times. Those good times stand out amongst all the bad times, as they should. I learned a lot from every experience that I had. And I grew from all of them too. You have to take whatever life throws at you and not dwell in the past. You have to be strong and you have to let people into your life. Don't push them away. Love your life, your friends, your family, but most of all, love yourself. You're the only one that truly should matter to you. Put you first and worry about others later. Just know that you'll survive and that somewhere, someone, believes in you.
********************
A/N: Well, how was that for an ending, huh? I had like 50 different endings I was thinking bout doing. This one was one of them and obviously won. Lol I was gonna keep Jeff alive. I was going to not have Nero be Jeff's son. I was going to end it with Jeff saying he was leaving Casey and not the other way around. And then the one that I was really considering doing, having Casey wake up and the past, ummm, 10 years be nothing but a dream. Lol Meaning she would wake up in her home in Maine at the age of 18. Back to where it all started. And she just dreamt about running away and all the stuff that happened. But I figured I couldn't do that to ya'll. Lol There were a few other options. But I thought this was a pretty good ending. So, umm, the song was Richard Marx "Hold onto the Nights". That's it. GOODBYE EVERYONE!!! I'll hopefully see ya'll soon with one of my other stories which I will get to soon, hopefully. Lol I'm also now very in love with the name Aurora Sky. I think it's just a very beautiful name. And I'm not very happy with this chapter. It came out better in my head than it did when I typed it up. Ah well, it'll do. Leave me some good reviews, k?