Til You Return to Me, an inuyasha fanfic

Important A/N, please read!!!

Where Have All the Chapters Gone?

10/11/04

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. As some of you may have noticed, all chapters save for chapter 1 of "'Til You Return to Me" have been removed. No, FFN (or MM) has not deleted them. If that were the case, the entire story would have been removed at once.

I have removed them. Me.

Why? Because I've grown in the past year that I've been writing fanfiction, and first started TYRTM. Because my style, the level of skill, the story and plot itself has all improved. Because, when I look back upon my earlier chapters, I can't help but wince. Painfully. Because, my earlier chapters, to put things simply, sucked.

Originally, I was going to revise the earlier chapters over this past summer, but alas, summer school got the best of me, and I was only able to revise 3 chapters. I'm still trying to finish chapter 4 right now.

And it was while I was struggling to revamp said chapter that it came to me that a lot was still missing. There is so much more detail and description and story that I want to put into each and every chapter, so many changes and adjustments and improvements that I want to make. And it simply wouldn't be possible for me to work on TYRTM the way that I want to if I had to constantly worry about trying to keep each chapter still consistent with it's original, and with all the others before and after it.

I am going to make a lot of changes to the story. A lot. I'll be adding in more bits of information, switching scenes and timelines around, even tweaking character depictions. Some scenes are going to be tossed completely.

Why? Because of all the things I've said above. Read it again, as many times as need be, if you must.

So when am I going to be done, and when are you guys going to read chapter 17? Not for a while. The rewrite is going to be my focus, and I am going to concentrate on making TYRTM the best story that I can make it, starting at chapter 1. And since I am making so many changes, you guys will probably have to read the chapters over again, anyway. If I had merely suggested that you do, I'm sure the majority of you wouldn't. This way, you kind of have to, as well. (Ahem. Forgive me a cruel chuckle here.)

I know this is a pain in the butt (it's the most painful for me) but it is my decision. Yes, it'd be easier for me if I were to keep going with the updates. Yes, it'd be easier if I only revised the earlier chapters, instead of doing the complete recall of all chapters that I'm attempting to do. It'd be easier, but I'd still end up dissatisfied and hating it.

I'm very sorry, but I won't be changing my mind on this. So please, whining, begging, flames, and death threats - none of these are going to convince me to put the chapters back up until I feel they are ready to see the light of day again.

To all of my dear readers and reviewers - thank you all very much for your support and encouragement this past year. It is truly appreciated (though it may not seem so now). Again, I apologize for this extreme delay and inconvenience, but once more, I WILL NOT be changing my mind on this.

And NO, this does not give anyone else the opportunity to continue (or plagiarize) my story for me. Rest assured that I do intend on finishing this fic one day. Do not think this gives you the permission to finish it in my place. Plagiarizers will be discovered and reported.

And if you are still questioning my decision and wondering why on earth I have removed my chapters, then please read this message again. I have said all that I need to say on the subject. To summarize: Fic not here because fic sucks. Under construction. Check back later.

Sincerely,

Squeakyinuears

'Til You Return to Me

by squeakyinuears

Chapter Originally published/posted at FFN - 9/06/03

Newest Chapter Revision - 10/11/04

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and co. do not belong to me, they belong to their wonderful and brilliant creator, Rumiko Takahashi!

Chapter 1 - Between Sand and Stone

(Originally titled, "Between A Rock and A Hard Place")

"When there is a hill to climb, don't think that waiting will make it easier." - unknown

"Inuyasha, you need an heir."

"Dammit Sesshoumaru, how many times do I have to tell you? I know!" Inuyasha slammed a fist down on the polished, mahogany desk, barely checking at the last moment to keep from punching right through. As it was, the force behind his fist was already enough to rattle the solid wooden frame.

"I do not think that you quite understand the seriousness of the matter, however." The older demon leaned back in his chair, unfazed by the show of strength and temper. He flicked a glance at his half-brother.

"Feh!"

"As eloquent as ever, I see." The Lord of the Westlands rose from his seat and moved to the window, parting the curtains to gaze out at the view below. Sunlight pooled in; the Inuyoukai looked back over his shoulder. "Enough of this foolishness, Inuyasha. Time is running out. You know as well as I do that our late father was very specific in his will. You cannot keep your title and lands unless you beget an heir."

The hanyou snorted, throwing himself down into a chair. Silver bangs fell across his face and were angrily shoved aside. "I don't see why it matters to you, anyway. You already have your own properties. Why do you want more?" He crossed his arms.

"I don't." Cool golden eyes returned to observe the landscape outside, where a small, excited girl could be seen running away from a small, frustrated toad-like creature. "I have more important issues to be concerned with right now. Naraku's forces are once again attacking our borders."

Inuyasha snarled, narrowing eyes of almost the same hue as his brother's.

The full demon continued on, hands behind his back. "I've received word that two villages in the northern region were destroyed yesterday. I've already sent more troops out to patrol, but we cannot afford many more to leave the capital. We're already spread very thin." He breathed deeply, setting his jaw. "This makes it four villages he has desecrated in the last three months, and all along our borders to the north."

He paused. Down below, the green toad-thing was waving a wooden staff about in agitation. His clawed hand dropped away from the curtains, and the antics of the two outside were hidden from view once again. He turned away from the window. "However, I did not summon you from your estates to discuss military tactics. This is your duty, Inuyasha. If you do not comply with Father's wishes, then your inheritance will be stripped from you, and passed on to our cousin. And as much as I hate to admit it, I believe we both agree neither one of us wants Kouga to be moving in next door."

Inuyasha glowered, sullen. "That wimpy wolf! I can't believe the old man would even consider him in the will. We're not even related to him!"

"His mother was our aunt," Sesshoumaru told him flatly.

"Feh!" He sniffed disdainfully, nose in the air. "Leave it up to you to be so concerned with details. And if we are being technical, Kiki-bachan wasn't even our real aunt. She was adopted by our family after her pack was killed," he pointed out, drumming his claws on the desk.

"Thank you, Inuyasha, for the clarification," Sesshoumaru remarked dryly. "In any case, Kiki-basan WAS made a part of this family, and I, for one, have too much respect for her memory to simply brush Kouga's claim aside, even if I could." He sighed. "Since I have no intention of letting that wolf have a piece of our territory, though, you, Inuyasha, must find a bride, and soon."

"I can't do that!" yelled the half-demon, canine ears twitching about in irritation. "You say, 'find a bride' and you expect me to just magically have one?" Incredulous, he jumped to his feet, waving his hands about wildly. "What am I supposed to do?! Act like Miroku and ask anything in a kimono to 'bear my child'?"

The Lord of the Westlands almost smiled at that. Almost. "No, I do not wish you an early death . . . yet. Actually, I suggest that you go traveling. I need someone to observe and survey the current condition of our defenses. Take in the extent of Naraku's destruction. At the same time, you will have a chance to search for a bride."

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" The small toad-like creature from before burst into the room, door thrown wide. "Sesshoumaru-sama! Rin has climbed up into a tree, when I warned her not to, and now she's stuck!" Yellow, bulbous orbs darted about nervously.

"Jaken." The dog demon speared him with a cold glare. "Go back to Rin and make sure she does not move. Tell her that I will come and get her. Go!" he spoke in a slightly louder voice when the toad hadn't moved.

"Y-yes, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken hurried away, a hand holding his pointy brown hat to his head.

Sesshoumaru turned back to his brother. "I must go see to my charge now, Inuyasha. I will give you some time to think on this, but you must make haste. Kouga will not wait for very long before he makes a claim towards your inheritance." With those last words, Sesshoumaru departed, gliding away.

Inuyasha was left standing alone to brood in silence, hands fisting. 'Shit! Why did this have to happen to me? I'm only twenty! I don't want to get tied down to any wench!' But . . . neither did he want that wimpy wolf to get his grubby paws on his birthright! He was damned either way, it seemed.

Inuyasha snorted, making a face. He supposed all it really came down to picking the lesser of two evils. But which one was the lesser evil? It was a tough choice. Marry, and have to put up with some stupid, whiny, airhead for the rest of his life . . . or . . . let that wimpy wolf to get his grubby paws on the inheritance. And the second couldn't . . . wouldn't be happening.

He rolled his eyes in resignation. 'I guess I can always take Miroku along with me while I search for a stupid, whiny, airhead. Not that he'll be much of a help . . .'

A few days later, at Inuyasha's estate -

"Inuyasha . . ." a sultry voice called out from the library as the hanyou passed by.

'Aw, shit, I forgot about this.' He stopped in the doorway, struggling with the urge to keep walking. If only. "Kikyou." He stepped inside, hesitating.

Brown eyes were veiled, cool shadows on damp earth. "Inuyasha, where are you going in such a hurry? Why don't you come and keep me company? I was getting lonely." With her long black hair done up extravagantly and face delicately painted, Kikyou purred from her spot on the couch.

"Kikyou . . . we need to talk." The hanyou had been deep in thought for the past few days, mulling over his decision, and now he was steeling himself up for what he had to do. "Listen Kikyou, do you remember my father's will? Do remember what the conditions were for me to retain my inheritance?"

Kikyou nodded, the tiniest of frowns beginning to form between the elegant sweep of her brows. "Of course, darling, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Inuyasha paused. "It means that I have to find a bride - I need an heir."

"So?" She sat up, adjusting her kimono, smoothing out the folds and wrinkles of the exquisite fabric. "You'll just have to get married. How does that change anything?" Her frown deepened with puzzlement. "What does that have to do with us?"

"I can't keep you as my mistress anymore."

"What?!" her voice rose sharply, but she checked herself. She forced a relieved chuckle and a smile into her painted lips. "Darling, don't be ridiculous! Of course you can still keep me! I'm your mistress. When you are married, I'll still be yours."

He shook his head. He could feel a headache coming on, right between his eyes. "Kikyou, I can't do that. I could never dishonor my future wife in such a way."

"Dishonor?!" she screamed, jumping to her feet.

Inuyasha's ears flattened, lost in his silver mane as her voice grew more and more shrill.

"Dishonor?!" she repeated. "How would you be dishonoring her? Am I something to be ashamed of? No! Of course not!" She waved a hand in derision. "Really, you and your silly ideas about honor. Besides, lots of married noblemen still keep mistresses."

She calmed down slightly, completely oblivious to the fact that the half-demon's eyes were frosting over, glacial. Sauntering over, she placed a hand upon his cheek. "Inuyasha, don't you know that discretion is the only thing to worry about? As long as we're discreet about it, no one cares what we do."

Inuyasha grabbed her hand, jerking it away from his face. "Do not mistake me for someone else, Kikyou," he informed her icily. "Others may do as they choose, but I am not them. When I marry, whomever I marry, I intend to be a faithful husband." He dropped her hand, almost tossing it aside.

"Do you intend to just throw me out then? A-am I to be left w-with nothing? Is a girl whom you haven't even met more important to you than I am? I love you!" Her brown eyes swelled up with tears in an instant.

The hanyou regarded her impassively. Even when angry, she was still perfect. He wondered cynically when her beauty had stopped affecting him. He had an idea that it was around the same time he discovered what a conniving, greedy bitch she was.

"Kikyou," he said slowly, as though he were talking to a child. "You don't love me. You've never loved me. And as to your first two questions, you have nothing to worry about. You know perfectly well when I first set you up as my mistress that we signed an agreement saying that in the event we ever parted ways, you would be left with all properties intact. That means anything I bought for you over the past two year is yours. You'll still have your house, your carriage, your horses and your jewelry. So why don't you stop the crying act? It's not going to work."

She slapped him. "You selfish, heartless, bastard!" All pretenses of tears were gone.

He smirked, touching his stinging cheek. "While I quite agree with your first two descriptions, I'm afraid that the third is incorrect. Unless," he said, with eyebrow quirked, "there is something my father forgot to inform me about."

"You son of bitch!" she shrieked.

"Actually," he drawled, "that's not true either-"

"Shut up! Fine, you want me to leave? I'm leaving!" She stifled the urge to stamp her foot, refraining from giving in to the childish display. "You think I don't know my worth, Inuyasha? Let me tell you, there are crowds of wealthy, titled men just waiting for me to leave you. Dozens would pay to be with me! I don't need you!"

He nodded. "You're quite right Kikyou. Of course you don't need me. Why would you, when, as you yourself just stated, men would pay to be with you? It is your profession, after all." He winced inwardly at his last words. He hadn't meant to be that harsh.

She paled drastically. "You bastard!"

He didn't bother to correct her this time.

Kikyou drew herself up. "Very well, then. If you are finished insulting me, I believe I shall be leaving now." Sweeping past with her head held high, she paused by the door. "But don't think that you've seen the last of me! I promise you, we will meet again," she hissed.

"I look forward to it," he said dryly to her departing back. He couldn't help but admire her a little at least, for her pride. He sighed tiredly. 'I'm sorry Kikyou, but I intend to keep my promises. I refuse to hurt my future bride.' He frowned. Dammit, that wasn't how he expected their relationship to end! He snorted. 'Who am I kidding? It turned out exactly the way I expected.'

Inuyasha went searching for Miroku. He didn't have to look for his perverted friend very long. The sound of a woman's sharp scream pierced the air, making him wince.

"Ack! Hentai!" A loud slap echoed from kitchens, immediately followed by the sound of something heavy landing on the ground.

'There you are, Miroku.' Golden eyes rolled in exasperation. "Will you never give up?" He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and hidden in his long red sleeves. An eyebrow rose mockingly and one bare foot tapped upon the marble floors.

A young man slightly older than Inuyasha lay twitching on the ground. His dark hair was pulled back in a small ponytail, and purple and black monk robes swathed him fully, nearly reaching his ankles. His right hand was wrapped in prayer beads, and gold hoops dangled from his ears.

Violet eyes looked innocently back up at his silver-haired friend. "What can I say?" Houshi Miroku pulled himself up. "Women think I'm irresistible." He grinned unashamedly, rubbing the bright red handprint on his cheek.

"Humph! Speak for yourself!" The fuming kitchen maid stomped away, but not before giving Miroku one last kick.

"What did I tell you?" Miroku turned gleefully to the Inuyoukai. "The ladies can't stop touching me!"

Inuyasha snorted, annoyance creeping into his voice. "Bouzu, you need to find a different profession."

"What do you mean, Inuyasha? What is better than aspiring to be a servant of Buddha walking down the path of morality and righteousness?" He adopted a benevolent, sincere expression - eyes closed and a hand over his heart. Then he grinned, spoiling the effect.

"That's exactly what I mean! It's not working! I haven't seen any evidence of a decline in your lecherous ways. Of all the careers in the world, you pick the one that is the most opposite of you!"

Miroku's grin faded, disappeared. "You forget, Inuyasha, that it was not my decision to make. I am a monk because my father was a monk, and his father before him. Just as I did not choose to have this hole in my hand - I have this curse because my father had it, and his father before him." He stared at his palm, pensive.

The dog demon sighed, irritation abruptly leaving. He moved away from the wall. "You're right. I'm sorry." He clapped his friend on the back. "Look, bouzu, don't worry. We'll get Naraku. In fact, that's part of the reason why I'm here. How would you like to go with me to the northern borders?"

The monk blinked, purple-gray eyes curious. "And why are we traveling to such a remote area?"

Inuyasha sighed again. Having to explain his situation every time was becoming really old, really quickly. "Well, Miroku . . . remember my dad's will?"

(Most of these translations are courtesy of Aino-kaachan, from her website. Thank you, Aino-kaachan!)

Name Suffixes:

-chan - literally means "little" or "cute"; a diminutive name suffix used to address children, female relatives and (close) friends. Also a common endearment. Adding this to a relative's appellation (such as obaachan, "grandma") gives the appellation a familiar tone.

-kun - a name suffix used to address people of equal/lower social standing and/or age; more casual than -san, this is applied almost excessively to males. Can also be diminutive, like a male version of -chan.

-san - a name suffix indicating respect; translates to Mr., Miss or Mrs. Using a plain name is a quite casual way of addressing a person, and unless you know them well it is considered somewhat rude.

-sama - a very respectful, even reverent name suffix; may be translated as sir, lady, lord etc.

Japanese Translations:

(o)basan (/chan) - meaning "aunt"; with the -san suffix, it's more polite and respectful. The -chan ending that Inuyasha uses is more familiar, like "auntie"

Bouzu - an insulting term for a Buddhist priest; hard to find an English equivalent (Inuyasha calls Miroku this in the anime, right after Miroku groped Kagome for the first time, and when he's mad at him).

hanyou - half youkai, half human

hentai - Ah, that infamous word. In context to this series and others, hentai is used to call someone a pervert. However, the real, literal meaning is, I believe, simply "weird" or "strange"

Houshi - a low rank of Buddhist monk; often a wandering one, with combat training (in this story, it is also Miroku's surname)

Inuyoukai - literally "dog demon". See definition for youkai, below

youkai - The most common English translation is "demon". However, youkai is a broader term, referring to many sorts of (Japanese) mythological creatures and monsters with magical abilities.

Please also remember that most of the meanings are within the context of the Inuyasha series - these terms may have other meanings as well.

Original A/N: Hello everyone! I can't believe it! I finally got this story up and running! ::Does a little happy dance around the room:: Thank you soooo much for reading. This is my first fan fiction, ever. Scary, huh? o.O

Oh, I just thought of something. Ahem. This is a reminder that the words and language used in the fan fiction do not necessary reflect those of the author. Personally, I hate swearing, but Inuyasha just wouldn't be Inuyasha if he weren't a potty mouth. (I think). Anyway, after reading through this again, I realized just how OOC Inuyasha was acting (still!), and. . . what can I say? I didn't really mean for him to turn from his more normal self in the beginning with Sesshoumaru, to being all cold and formal with Kikyou. It sort of just... happened. It wasn't me, I swear! It's all Inuyasha's fault. I wanted to write that out differently, but my fingers wouldn't listen, and this chapter came out instead. ::Sigh::

Well, I hope that you guys aren't completely repelled away by Inu-chan's OOC-ness. Maybe in the next chapter he will be more like himself, ne? Oh! And one more thing - I, squeakyinuears, apologize right now if I have copied the idea of anyone else. It was completely unintentional. I realize that the Inuyasha-has-to-marry-someone-in-order-to-something, has been done before, and that action I will freely admit to. However, I do wish to point out that I did not mean to copy any specific ideas/plot lines, if I have done so.

Okay, actually that's a lie. The idea of quotes in the beginning of each chapter, though I have seen it done before, was from JadeWing (a fabulous writer!). Gomen nasai. If this story sounds already too familiar, I hope that fact will change as I get further along into the story. Until then, I hope everyone has a great time reading fan fictions! I know I do!