Author's notes

I own none of the characters or places that appear in my story, and I make no money off of this.  In fact, I'm probably losing money since I'm writing this while at work.

This story takes places over Harry Potter's sixth and seventh years.  There will be angst, rejection, kidnapping, battles, finding peace, and more battles.  It's also an H/Hr story, and though they won't be together until the very end, there will be lots of good exposition on how they feel about each other along the way.

I hope you enjoy.

1. Summer

For most kids, summer was a time of fun and sun.  With no school to worry about, most kids take advantage of their freedom to meet and play with their friends outside until nightfall, then returning home to a nice dinner with a loving family.  Most kids dread the end of summer, for that signifies the start of another year of school.

Unfortunately for Harry Potter, he was not "most kids."  For you see, Harry Potter is a wizard, born with the ability to control magic and perform amazing feats.  But, even against wizarding standards, Harry Potter was not "most kids."  After all, not many kids have a personal vendetta with the most evil wizard of his time.

On this particular day in July, Harry found himself once again in the Department of Mysteries.  The final fight with the Death Eaters flashed through his mind: the despair he felt once he realized he was surrounded, with only Neville by his side; the relief he felt when the Order members rushed into the room, firing spells from their wands.…

"Nooooo!" Harry screamed.  Harry opened his eyes to look into the sneering face of Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, currently Harry's tutor in Occlumency.  Harry wished he had kept them closed.

"Better Potter," Snape observed, almost reluctantly, as he watched Harry pick himself up from the floor.  "You were able to stop me from seeing the end.  But you'll need to improve considerably if you wish to keep the Dark Lord from knowing your thoughts."

Harry grimaced slightly, then set his face into a neutral expression.  He promised himself he would control his anger, his hatred, towards the man in front of him.  Harry simply nodded and returned to the chair facing Snape.  Harry understood why Snape had to be his occlumency tutor.  Not only was Snape the best qualified, Snape was also the only one who would happily pick away at Harry's deepest fears and most painful memories, as Voldemort surely would.  With Snape, Harry faced a true challenge and would be better prepared to face Voldemort.  But just because he understood didn't mean he had to like it.

"That will be all for today Potter.  I will return next week for another lesson.  Remember to clear your mind of thoughts before sleeping," Snape said, standing up.  Harry followed Snape to the door of Number 4 Privet Drive and watched him walk away, covering the distance necessary that would allow him to apperate away. 

Leaving King's Cross Station at the end of the school year, Harry had hoped that this summer would be his best yet (considering his summers in the past, this would not be hard to accomplish).  After the scare the Order put into his uncle, Harry expected a new level of freedom from his horrid relatives.  He also expected that he would be kept informed about Voldemort's activities, though maybe not as much as a full Order member, after Dumbledore's revelations to him at the end of last year.  Harry was, however, of two minds about returning to 12 Grimmauld Place; on the one hand, it would be nice to see his friends Ron, Hermione, Remus, and the other Order members again; but on the other hand, Harry dreaded returning to Sirius' home.  It was hard enough not to think about what happened, what Harry caused to happen, while at the Dursley's.  It would be next to impossible not to if he were surrounded by things that would remind him of Sirius.

Unfortunately for Harry, much of what he expected would not come to pass.  True, the Dursley's have been studiously avoiding him; in fact, they practically ignored him, only calling him for meals.  He wasn't even forced to perform any of his usual chores.  Normally this lack of interaction would have pleased Harry, but all his time alone only left him with his thoughts and memories as company.  He would have preferred to be performing chores if nothing else to keep his mind off of Sirius.

His hopes of being kept informed by the Order were quickly squashed.  The Order prevented all owls from reaching his home, supposedly to keep him safe from the possibility of cursed mail, as well as to avoid the deluge of mail, good and bad, that was caused by the Daily Prophet's story on the return of Voldemort.  This, of course, also prevented Harry from receiving any owls that contained any information about Voldemort, including the Daily Prophet.   He still received letters from his friends, but these were passed along by hand through various Order members as they came to check up on him.  Ron and Hermione's letters were just as brief as last summer's; either nothing was happening that they knew about, or Ron and Hermione were told to keep him in the dark again.  None of the visiting Order members ever told him anything of importance, and he was somewhat hesitant to ask too much.  Harry still felt guilty about what happened in Department of Mysteries despite reassurances by Tonks, Moody, and Remus that they had fully recovered and no one placed any blame on him in the least.

Harry found that his dilemma over returning to 12 Grimmauld Place was unnecessary; Harry would not be allowed to leave 4 Privet Drive until school started, and he wasn't even allowed past the front lawn.  The Order was especially worried for his safety after what happened at the Ministry and the Dementer attack of last year.  So, in effect, Harry was trapped and alone, without any information about anything.  It would have been worse then last year, if not for the weekly training sessions.

Almost immediately upon returning to the Dursley's, Harry had been taking lessons with various members of the Order: occlumency with Snape, dueling with Moody, and metamorphagy with Tonks.  By far occlumency was his least favorite, for not only was he forced to re-live his worst memories, but he also had to endure the scowling face and biting comments of Professor Snape.  It almost wasn't worth it, but Harry knew he needed to know the skill if he hoped to avoid another situation like last year. 

The most tiring sessions were with Moody.  He was initially disappointed that his lessons would not include learning more powerful and dangerous spells.  After all, could Harry really expect to defeat Voldemort with stunning spells and a good jelly-legs jinx?  Instead, his dueling lessons focused on improving his awareness, his speed, his reactions, and his endurance.  Dueling was something Harry had some skill with, and as an added benefit the physical and mental activity often left him so tired that he was able to sleep without dreams.

But the most interesting and, for Harry, exciting sessions were with Tonks.  Ever since he saw he changing her appearance, he had hoped for some similar skill to hide his famous scar.  Harry had remembered incidents of his pre-Hogwarts magic; specifically, his ability to re-grow his hair after a horrid cutting by his Aunt Petunia.  Wasn't that similar to what Tonks could do?  Maybe he was a metamorphagus as well!  After bringing up the subject with Tonks, she began testing him for the in-born talent, and to his great pleasure, Harry found he was born ability to change his appearance.  This somewhat lessened his disappointment when he found that he wasn't an Animagus, like his father and godfather before him.  Harry was progressing as a metamorphagus quite nicely, able to alter many of his features.  However, the goal of hiding his scar still eluded him, but he had high hopes.

Harry's birthday had come and gone without fanfare.  He received various gifts from the Weasleys, Hermione, and Order members, passed along by Remus.  Although he appreciated every single gift, he wished he could spend his birthday with his friends, rather than with his overweight cousin watching television.

Harry sighed as he climbed the stairs towards his small bedroom, ignoring the anxious and slightly fearful looks on the faces of his relatives.  Trying to clear his mind of thoughts, Harry climbed into bed, hoping for a night without dreams.