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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in the series (tragically and unfortunately ;-))

Summary: He'd always wanted a glimpse into his future. When his wish is unexpectedly granted, a young Marauder finds regret, pain, death and something more.

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~ Finding Myself ~

Chapter One: The Wish

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It was a cold autumn's day in the Gryffindor common-room and Remus Lupin found himself assaulted (as usual) by the unquenchable boredom of one of his best friends.

"Sirius," he said, slowly and calmly. "If you continue to tell me how unbearably bored you are, I'll have to suggest that you conjure a bucket and dunk your head into ice-cold water."

This brief speech, delivered from behind the pages of a dusty, old book, drew a grin from his companion. Sirius Black, handsome, restless and 17 years old, groaned. "But it's so damn - "

"Boring. Yes, I'm well aware of your feelings at this point, Padfoot, thank you."

"But - "

"All right!" Remus slammed the book shut, resigning himself to failing his NEWT levels, and looked at the other Marauder with shrewd brown eyes. "Until James gets back from whatever excursion he's taken with Lily, I'll do my poor best to entertain you."

"Tell me something, Padfoot." Remus said with a slight frown. "Restless as you are, why haven't you agreed to join the Order of the Phoenix yet. Peter, James and I have already told - "

"I'm a Black!" Sirius spat out bitterly. "Try to imagine what veterans like Moody, Gideon Prewett, Vance and the like will do if I dare to set one foot on Order territory. They've seen my family's work first-hand, especially that of Bellatrix, Regulus and Narcissa too."

"Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot, they know you're nothing like the rest of them! Besides, since when are you afraid of what people think. I'd have thought you'd take an opportunity to duel with and hex Alastor Moody like you did Fabian Prewett last summer, and earn his respect like you did Fabian's."

"Yeah, well."

Sirius could see that had intrigued Remus, and he resigned himself for a perceptive interrogation.

It came.

"Okay, Sirius, spit it out," Remus said in his gentle tone. "What's really keeping you from telling Dumbledore that you'll join the Order like he asked you to?"

Sirius sighed. It seemed so ridiculous - how was he supposed to admit it - ?

"I'm wary." he said quietly.

"Scared?" Remus raised an eyebrow understandingly.

Sirius scowled. "Wary. There's a difference. Look, Moony, you know as well as I do that I would gladly fight the Death Eaters and Voldemort right to the death if that's what it took, but - but I'm not prepared to risk your lives, to watch any of you get hurt or die. If anything happened to James or you - "

"Hey!" Remus cut in. "It isn't your responsibility to look after us, Sirius, and it isn't up to you to bear that kind of burden. You're supposed to be the reckless prankster - " they both grinned " - and you're supposed to keep us on our toes like you do everyone else. We're all willing to take the risk, and we've watched out for and survived your most dangerous tricks in the past, so nothing you do could ever put us in danger. Understand?"

"I just wish - " Sirius sighed heavily, flicking his wand through his fingers absent-mindedly. "I just wish I could find out - I could see - just a little - of what's in store for us - so that I could know - "

His fingers suddenly tingled with warmth and he realized too late that he seemed to have cast a spell.

"Padfoot - " Remus frowned, confused as he saw what was happening.

The wand emitted a shower of blindingly bright sparks and Sirius felt his head spin. The entire room was spinning - he was flying - he was falling - his feet hit the floor again and slowly, the sparks began to clear.

When he found his eyes working properly again, he realized that he was standing, not in the Gryffindor common-room, but in Dumbledore's office.

Merlin's beard, how had he managed THAT?

Dumbledore was standing by a closet in the corner of the room, his back to Sirius, and he seemed to be peering down into something shiny inside the closet. Sirius shifted uneasily, not sure how he was supposed to explain to the Headmaster that he had just Something-ed into his office.

Quite unexpectedly, Dumbledore straightened up, obviously having heard the sound of Sirius's feet thudding to the floor. He closed the closet door and turned around slowly.

As Dumbledore's face and eyes came into view, Sirius was startled beyong words by how tired and saddened the great wizard looked - and how suddenly older he appeared.

Then there was, of course, the expression of utter shock on Dumbledore's face. In fact, judging by the pallor of the man's skin, Sirius wouldn't have been surprised if the un-stump-able Albus fainted right then and there.

"Uh - sir?" he cleared his throat. "I - sorry - I don't know how I - you can't Apparate in Hogwarts, I know - so - sorry."

There was no response. Dumbledore just stood there, looking unaccountably weak, that sadness lingering deep in his blue eyes that normally twinkled. Sirius felt apprehensive. What had happened to cause such weary sorrow?

"Professor - are - are you all right?"

Finally, Dumbledore spoke, looking a little calmer, but no less shocked and pale: "S-Sirius?" he uttered, his voice very strained and hoarse.

"Uh - that was my name last time I checked, sir." Sirius made a feeble attempt to lighten the sudden strain. "Sirius Black." he clarified. He glanced around the room, noticing that a lot seemed to have changed since he'd last been in here. "Do I look different or something, sir?"

"I think - we might - safely say that, Sirius." Dumbledore finally moved and came towards Sirius. Sirius was rather astonished when Dumbledore put his hands on his shoulders and squeezed, a rather affectionate gesture that seemed to indicate to Sirius that Dumbledore was also checking if he was solid and actually standing there.

"Merlin's beard," Dumbledore breathed, "It is you. Sirius, how - ?"

"I did something with my wand by accident while I was in the common-room, sir," Sirius explained, wondering what the big deal was - surely some other student some time had inexplicable appeared in the office? "And I somehow cast some spell or charm, and everything began to spin - and when I hit the ground again, I was in here."

"Incredible," Dumbledore sounded a little more like his normal self, but Sirius still saw the terrible grief haunting the man's eyes. "That was very, very powerful magic - to cross realms - magical borders in time - "

"Pardon me?" Sirius froze. "Magical borders in WHAT was that, if you don't mind me asking, Professor?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath, and seemed to be thinking very gravely about something. Apparently there was something very wrong and serious about this situation.

"This will come as a shock, Sirius," he said slowly, "But you're not in your own time. I am still the Headmaster of Hogwarts, but you've travelled seventeen years forward in time."

Sirius stared at the Headmaster, not quite sure that he'd heard right. SEVENTEEN YEARS FORWARD?? How was that possible? Was Dumbledore joking? Somehow Sirius doubted that . . . but how?? He looked down at his wand in shock. This was unbelievable - it meant - it meant he was in the future!

"Are you seriously telling me that I'm in the Hogwarts of seventeen years after my seventh-year at Hogwarts?" he demanded, forgetting to be polite. "That's pretty cool!"

"I wouldn't say that." Dumbledore didn't seem to mind Sirius's lack of impeccable politeness. "But you're accurate about where you are now. Somehow, Padfoot, you managed it."

"You called me Padfoot!" Sirius yelped. "How do you - who told you - "

"I've been gifted with incredible bits of knowledge over these seventeen years, Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly, sounding saddened again. For a brief second, then, his eyes twinkled like Sirius remembered. "Including a certain ability of yours to become a certain shaggy black dog - "

"MERLIN'S BEARD!"

"Before you grow indignant, perhaps I'd better inform you of the fact that you were the one to tell me all about the Animagi in your year." Dumbledore suddenly because somber again and he sighed heavily. "Dear me . . . what a mess . . . what a mess . . ."

"A mess, sir?" Sirius pronounced rather weakly. The shock of being so far in the future, the implications, as well as knowing that Dumbledore knew about their secret (through him!) was getting to him.

Dumbledore sighed again. "You'd better sit down, Sirius, please." (Sirius obeyed, needing it anyway). Dumbledore then walked over to the phoenix (Sirius's jaw dropped - Fawkes!) on his perch and his next words sent Sirius's mind into a complete baffled whirl -

"Fawkes, I'll need you to get Remus Lupin and Severus Snape here in a little while. Before that, please summon Professor McGonagall, Mr Potter, Ms Granger and Mr Weaseley."

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TBC.

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A/n: Please R the idea just struck me, and I was having another moment of grief over the latest HP death, so I had to write this! Please Review!