~Surrender~
They both stood against a wall, listening to the pounding beat of the music, watching the usual people do their usual drunken stupidness. Seth looked at his watch. If she didn't show up soon, they were leaving. Neither of them felt like being here. Maybe she hadn't either.
"About time you got here, Cohen."
Seth didn't even have to turn around to know who was behind him. He smiled at Ryan. "I take it you've been waiting anxiously for my arrival, Summer?"
"You wish."
Seth turned around to look at her. "Aw, you missed me, that's sweet."
"Shut up, jerk, I just - oh forget it." She turned and started walking away.
Seth took two long strides and grabbed her arm. "Summer, hey. Is something wrong?"
She pulled her arm away and kept walking. "Leave me alone, Seth. I'm just - not in the mood for this tonight."
Seth got in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Let's go outside." She just looked at him, instead of complaining, so he knew that was ok with her. He was beginning to catch on to Summer-ese. Slowly.
"Get Chino, would you?" She asked, looking at the ground.
"Of course." Seth waved across the room at Ryan, motioning him to follow them. There was no point in yelling over the music. Ryan nodded and held up one finger, heading over to the keg for a beer.
Seth opened the door for her and followed her out toward the beach, the music fading behind them. "What's going on? Talk to me, Summer. It's not like you to not want to argue with me."
Summer looked up at him. She hated that she HAD been waiting for him. Marissa was away in rehab, and Holly was a backstabbing slut. She had other friends, but not close ones and ever since Tijuana, the only people she really wanted to talk to were Seth and Ryan. The three of them had bonded during that horrible trip to Mexico and while the two of them lived together and had each other to talk to, she had no one. Her parents hadn't even cared enough to call since it happened. She had dialed Seth's number several times a day, but never pushed the call button. "I just - I just needed-" The look of surprise on his face made her stop and turn away. Great. Now she was gonna cry in front of him. What was wrong with her?
Seth didn't think he would ever hear something like "I needed" in regards to uh, anything coming out of Summer's mouth. She was completely self- sufficient and more inclined to tell you what YOU needed in any given situation. But right now she looked, well, as helpless as she had in Mexico. He put his arm across her shoulder and gently pulled her to him. "What? What do you need?"
Ryan walked up behind them, and cleared his throat, not wanting to intrude. "Hey, um, I can go back inside - "
"No." Summer looked over at him and then up at Seth. "Can we go down to the beach?"
"Sure, let's go." They followed her down onto the sand, and sat on each side of her. She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them up to her chest.
Staring out at the water, she forced herself to talk. She had to talk to somebody or she would explode, and they were only ones that understood. "I keep having nightmares. We find her in that alley, and she - she's dead. And it's all my fault." Tears made their way slowly down her cheeks.
Ryan and Seth quickly looked at each other, alarmed. "Summer, it wasn't your fault." Seth put a hand on her shoulder as a terrible thought hit him. "Are your parents home?"
"No, they left a few hours before I got home from Mexico," she admitted.
"You've been by yourself for a week? Since this happened? You should have called us! Why didn't you say something?" Seth felt bad now about not calling her, but she'd made it perfectly clear when he'd dropped her off that she was fine, with a "Don't call us, we'll call you" tone of voice. He had left, frustrated and hurt. But to be alone for a week after something like this? God, he'd thought her parents were home.
Ryan handed his beer over to Seth. "I know why," he said softly. "She was too proud to ask for help. Didn't know how."
"Yeah, well apparently the two of you are kindred spirits. Stupid kindred spirits." Seth took a drink and handed the cup back to Ryan. He put his arm around her and pulled her over to him. "Summer, you know that Marissa's fine, right?" She nodded against his chest. "She's getting the help she needs and then she's coming home. Everything will be fine."
Summer finally gave up the fight. Dammit, it felt good to be in Seth's arms, letting him take care of her. Ryan was right, she was too proud and Seth was right, it was stupid. God knows Seth had been the only reason she made it through that night in Mexico. He had been her rock. Ryan, too. He had watched over her, and worried about her while they waited for news even though he was as devastated as she was. She could trust them with her worst fears.
" But what if she hates me? It's all my fault. If I had just grabbed my purse and taken it into the bathroom with me to call you, this wouldn't have happened. I just keep going over it again and again in my mind. I should have known. I should have stopped her."
Ryan moved closer and put a hand on her back. "That's not true, Summer. You've just had too much time to think about it, with nobody to talk to. We all knew she was upset, but none of us knew she'd do something that drastic. How could we? It was totally Marissa's decision to take the pills. If she hadn't gotten them from your purse, she would have gone to a club and gotten some, maybe even something worse and she'd be dead now. And she would never hate you. You're a really good friend to her; everyone can see that. You have to stop blaming yourself, you did all you could for her." he finished softly. She had turned to look at him while he spoke, and it seemed like he'd gotten through to her.
Seth squeezed her arm. "You hear that? When Ryan strings lots of sentences together all at once like that, as opposed to his normal two words per hour, you know he must be speaking the truth." He cocked his head off to the side, looking down at her face pressed against his chest. " I think she's smiling, Ryan."
"Well, I'm not. Two words per hour, huh?"
Summer laughed at that, and Ryan smiled. "Mission accomplished. All it takes is a little teamwork." Seth raised a fist up to him and they touched knuckles.
The three of them sat there for a while, comfortably silent, watching the waves roll in.
"You guys want to go back to the party? I really don't feel like drinking, though. It just feels weird." Summer disengaged herself from Seth and stood up, brushing sand off her pants.
"Yeah, I'm not really into it either. You, Ryan?" They started walking back to the house.
"Nah, remember we really only came cause you wanted- "
"Shut it, Ry!" Seth warned.
"-uh, we wanted to get away from your parents?" Ryan finished lamely.
Summer smiled. "It's ok, Seth. I only came because I hoped you guys would be here. You want to go get something to eat?"
Seth turned to look at her. "So - You DID miss me!"
"You're so cute when you're delusional, Cohen."
"Hear that Ryan? She admitted she finds me attractive."
Ryan smiled and shook his head. "She also called you delusional, Seth."
"She didn't mean that part. It was just a cover so she could call me cute yet still appear unfazed by my charm and wit."
Summer rolled her eyes. "I repeat. De-luuuuu-tion-al, Cohen. C'mon say it with me."
"You know you want me, Summer. Why don't you just embrace the moment? Let the truth set you free? Give in to the passion?"
"How 'bout if I give in to the rage blackout I feel coming on, Seth?"
Seth looked at her nervously. "Ryan? Backup?"
"No way, man. You're on your own with that business."
"Traitor."
Ryan stopped and turned to him, smiling. "Hey, you play with fire, you should expect to get burned."
Seth stopped and looked at Summer. "She really is a lot like fire, isn't she? That fiery disposition that never disappoints. And you're mesmerized, drawn to the incredible beauty, wanting to be near her; yet if you get too close and dare to touch, she burns you."
Summer stopped and stared at Seth, mouth open. She knew she should be laughing, calling that the cheesiest thing she ever heard, but it wasn't. It was beautiful and he had meant every word. No one had ever said anything like that about her before. She caught herself and snapped her mouth closed. She tried to speak with her usual venom, but couldn't quite muster it. "Standing right here! You guys want to stop, uh, talking like I'm not, uh, here?" She trailed off because Seth continued to look at her with all that - warmth - in his brown eyes, and she felt herself blushing. She looked at the ground quickly, then brushed past them both on her way to the house, hoping he wouldn't see how much his words had affected her.
Seth watched her go for a second, then turned to his friend. "What do you think, Ryan?" he asked quietly.
"Oh yeah. You definitely got to her. She was about to melt into a puddle."
"I did, didn't I?" Seth was amazed at himself.
"Very smooth, man." Ryan grinned at him. "C'mon, stud, let's go find your girlfriend."
"Do you really think -?"
Ryan interrupted him. "I do, Seth. She's gonna give in before the night's over. Trust me."
They both stood against a wall, listening to the pounding beat of the music, watching the usual people do their usual drunken stupidness. Seth looked at his watch. If she didn't show up soon, they were leaving. Neither of them felt like being here. Maybe she hadn't either.
"About time you got here, Cohen."
Seth didn't even have to turn around to know who was behind him. He smiled at Ryan. "I take it you've been waiting anxiously for my arrival, Summer?"
"You wish."
Seth turned around to look at her. "Aw, you missed me, that's sweet."
"Shut up, jerk, I just - oh forget it." She turned and started walking away.
Seth took two long strides and grabbed her arm. "Summer, hey. Is something wrong?"
She pulled her arm away and kept walking. "Leave me alone, Seth. I'm just - not in the mood for this tonight."
Seth got in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Let's go outside." She just looked at him, instead of complaining, so he knew that was ok with her. He was beginning to catch on to Summer-ese. Slowly.
"Get Chino, would you?" She asked, looking at the ground.
"Of course." Seth waved across the room at Ryan, motioning him to follow them. There was no point in yelling over the music. Ryan nodded and held up one finger, heading over to the keg for a beer.
Seth opened the door for her and followed her out toward the beach, the music fading behind them. "What's going on? Talk to me, Summer. It's not like you to not want to argue with me."
Summer looked up at him. She hated that she HAD been waiting for him. Marissa was away in rehab, and Holly was a backstabbing slut. She had other friends, but not close ones and ever since Tijuana, the only people she really wanted to talk to were Seth and Ryan. The three of them had bonded during that horrible trip to Mexico and while the two of them lived together and had each other to talk to, she had no one. Her parents hadn't even cared enough to call since it happened. She had dialed Seth's number several times a day, but never pushed the call button. "I just - I just needed-" The look of surprise on his face made her stop and turn away. Great. Now she was gonna cry in front of him. What was wrong with her?
Seth didn't think he would ever hear something like "I needed" in regards to uh, anything coming out of Summer's mouth. She was completely self- sufficient and more inclined to tell you what YOU needed in any given situation. But right now she looked, well, as helpless as she had in Mexico. He put his arm across her shoulder and gently pulled her to him. "What? What do you need?"
Ryan walked up behind them, and cleared his throat, not wanting to intrude. "Hey, um, I can go back inside - "
"No." Summer looked over at him and then up at Seth. "Can we go down to the beach?"
"Sure, let's go." They followed her down onto the sand, and sat on each side of her. She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling them up to her chest.
Staring out at the water, she forced herself to talk. She had to talk to somebody or she would explode, and they were only ones that understood. "I keep having nightmares. We find her in that alley, and she - she's dead. And it's all my fault." Tears made their way slowly down her cheeks.
Ryan and Seth quickly looked at each other, alarmed. "Summer, it wasn't your fault." Seth put a hand on her shoulder as a terrible thought hit him. "Are your parents home?"
"No, they left a few hours before I got home from Mexico," she admitted.
"You've been by yourself for a week? Since this happened? You should have called us! Why didn't you say something?" Seth felt bad now about not calling her, but she'd made it perfectly clear when he'd dropped her off that she was fine, with a "Don't call us, we'll call you" tone of voice. He had left, frustrated and hurt. But to be alone for a week after something like this? God, he'd thought her parents were home.
Ryan handed his beer over to Seth. "I know why," he said softly. "She was too proud to ask for help. Didn't know how."
"Yeah, well apparently the two of you are kindred spirits. Stupid kindred spirits." Seth took a drink and handed the cup back to Ryan. He put his arm around her and pulled her over to him. "Summer, you know that Marissa's fine, right?" She nodded against his chest. "She's getting the help she needs and then she's coming home. Everything will be fine."
Summer finally gave up the fight. Dammit, it felt good to be in Seth's arms, letting him take care of her. Ryan was right, she was too proud and Seth was right, it was stupid. God knows Seth had been the only reason she made it through that night in Mexico. He had been her rock. Ryan, too. He had watched over her, and worried about her while they waited for news even though he was as devastated as she was. She could trust them with her worst fears.
" But what if she hates me? It's all my fault. If I had just grabbed my purse and taken it into the bathroom with me to call you, this wouldn't have happened. I just keep going over it again and again in my mind. I should have known. I should have stopped her."
Ryan moved closer and put a hand on her back. "That's not true, Summer. You've just had too much time to think about it, with nobody to talk to. We all knew she was upset, but none of us knew she'd do something that drastic. How could we? It was totally Marissa's decision to take the pills. If she hadn't gotten them from your purse, she would have gone to a club and gotten some, maybe even something worse and she'd be dead now. And she would never hate you. You're a really good friend to her; everyone can see that. You have to stop blaming yourself, you did all you could for her." he finished softly. She had turned to look at him while he spoke, and it seemed like he'd gotten through to her.
Seth squeezed her arm. "You hear that? When Ryan strings lots of sentences together all at once like that, as opposed to his normal two words per hour, you know he must be speaking the truth." He cocked his head off to the side, looking down at her face pressed against his chest. " I think she's smiling, Ryan."
"Well, I'm not. Two words per hour, huh?"
Summer laughed at that, and Ryan smiled. "Mission accomplished. All it takes is a little teamwork." Seth raised a fist up to him and they touched knuckles.
The three of them sat there for a while, comfortably silent, watching the waves roll in.
"You guys want to go back to the party? I really don't feel like drinking, though. It just feels weird." Summer disengaged herself from Seth and stood up, brushing sand off her pants.
"Yeah, I'm not really into it either. You, Ryan?" They started walking back to the house.
"Nah, remember we really only came cause you wanted- "
"Shut it, Ry!" Seth warned.
"-uh, we wanted to get away from your parents?" Ryan finished lamely.
Summer smiled. "It's ok, Seth. I only came because I hoped you guys would be here. You want to go get something to eat?"
Seth turned to look at her. "So - You DID miss me!"
"You're so cute when you're delusional, Cohen."
"Hear that Ryan? She admitted she finds me attractive."
Ryan smiled and shook his head. "She also called you delusional, Seth."
"She didn't mean that part. It was just a cover so she could call me cute yet still appear unfazed by my charm and wit."
Summer rolled her eyes. "I repeat. De-luuuuu-tion-al, Cohen. C'mon say it with me."
"You know you want me, Summer. Why don't you just embrace the moment? Let the truth set you free? Give in to the passion?"
"How 'bout if I give in to the rage blackout I feel coming on, Seth?"
Seth looked at her nervously. "Ryan? Backup?"
"No way, man. You're on your own with that business."
"Traitor."
Ryan stopped and turned to him, smiling. "Hey, you play with fire, you should expect to get burned."
Seth stopped and looked at Summer. "She really is a lot like fire, isn't she? That fiery disposition that never disappoints. And you're mesmerized, drawn to the incredible beauty, wanting to be near her; yet if you get too close and dare to touch, she burns you."
Summer stopped and stared at Seth, mouth open. She knew she should be laughing, calling that the cheesiest thing she ever heard, but it wasn't. It was beautiful and he had meant every word. No one had ever said anything like that about her before. She caught herself and snapped her mouth closed. She tried to speak with her usual venom, but couldn't quite muster it. "Standing right here! You guys want to stop, uh, talking like I'm not, uh, here?" She trailed off because Seth continued to look at her with all that - warmth - in his brown eyes, and she felt herself blushing. She looked at the ground quickly, then brushed past them both on her way to the house, hoping he wouldn't see how much his words had affected her.
Seth watched her go for a second, then turned to his friend. "What do you think, Ryan?" he asked quietly.
"Oh yeah. You definitely got to her. She was about to melt into a puddle."
"I did, didn't I?" Seth was amazed at himself.
"Very smooth, man." Ryan grinned at him. "C'mon, stud, let's go find your girlfriend."
"Do you really think -?"
Ryan interrupted him. "I do, Seth. She's gonna give in before the night's over. Trust me."