Title - How Did You Talk Me Into This?
Disclaimer - South Park is not mine. I wish it were! And I'm not making profits off of this... story thingy.
Plot - Still at the age of 9, Damien comes over to Pip's house to play! When they get into the attic, though, they find some wedding dresses, and decide to get married! Hilarity and very worried author ensue!
Rating - I'd say PG - PG-13
Pairing - kind of Damien/Pip, but no real slashyness
Notes - I got this idea from The Brick Wall site. Blame them. Not me.
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9 year old Phillip Pirrip sat on the cement stoop of his adoptive mother's home. He was dressed in a white collar shirt, and his normal blue shorts. Atop his little blond head sat his tan little hat, which he had one hand on so that the breeze didn't sweep in away. He had been waiting for almost an hour now, watching the cars roll down the busy street, non of them turning into his driveway and stopping. He sighed, and looked at the watch on his wrist, which read 10:33 A.M. He had been there for exactly an hour, and was losing hope that anyone would be here anytime soon. Or at all. That is, until a black Ford Camry pulled up into the driveway.
Pip jumped up and watched as a little 9 year old boy stepped out of the car. He was wearing a short sleeved black shirt, and black jeans. His hair was freshly cut, and spiked nicely. The Gothic boy spotted Pip, smiled, and strode over to the blond, who was grinning happily.
"Oh Damien! You actually came!" Pip jumped and hugged the Son of Satan, who patted him on the back.
"When I make a promise, I keep it. For the most part, anyways." Damien replied, as Pip grabbed his arm and dragged him into the house, grinning like a mad-man.
About an hour after Damien's arrival, the boys were searching through the attic for something to do. They were searching through random boxed, when Damien pulled out a short blue wedding dress from one of the boxes.
"Hey Pip, come see this!" Damien called over to the blond, who had temporarily disappeared behind a mountain of Christmas decorations. Pip walked over, covered in dust, and looked at the beautiful gown.
"It's a dress." Pip announced, wondering why this interested Damien so much.
"It's a wedding dress, Pip." Damien corrected, smoothing out the silky fabric.
"Okay, a wedding dress. What's so special about it?" Pip asked, still highly confused.
"We can play dress up!" Damien suggested, grinning. Pip stared at the Gothic boy like he was insane.
"Dress up!? But... that's for girls!" Pip responded. The idea of playing a girls game did not appear to the British boy. Not one bit.
"Aw, come on. It's better than nothing! And besides, it might be fun!" Damien pleaded, giving Pip a pouty lip. The blond boy sighed, shaking his head.
"Alright, alright." Pip agreed, although he didn't understand why. This could not turn out good.
"Great!" Damien grinned, thrusting the dress into Pip's arms, and digging through the box to find some more clothes.
What am I getting myself into? Pip wondered, as he watched Satan's son dig through an old clothing box.
Ten minutes later, the two boys were totally transformed. Pip was wearing the short blue wedding dress Damien had first pulled out. His chest was stuffed with cotton to make him look more female-like, and his hair was tied back in a pony tail. His adoptive mother, once hearing what the two boys were planning to do, had put light blue eye shadow on Pip, and dark red lip stick. Damien was sporting a lovely shade of silver eye shadow and light pink lipstick, which matched well with his snowy white dress. His chest was also stuff, but a bit less then Pip's, and his hair had been combed straight. Pip wanted to die right then and there. But Damien was happy as a clam.
Wedding music played from an old record player, and Pip and Damien walked down the isle, which was surround by chairs inhabited with stuffed animals. Pip's adoptive mother was video taping this escapade while giggling, and his adoptive father stood at the 'pedestal', a bible in hand. Damien was grinning from ear to ear, and having a good time with this little game.
"How did you talk me into this?" Pip whispered to Damien, who turned to look at him in return.
"I didn't. You just said yes. And you have to agree, this is funny." Damien turned back to look at the 'pedestal' and 'priest', grinning yet again.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." Pip's father began the long and boring ceremony, while Damien and Pip almost fell asleep. It seemed to drag on forever for the two boys, until finally something fun happened.
"Do you, Damien, take Phillip Pirrip to be your lawfully wedded husband slash wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and through health, until death do ye part?" There was a pause, so that the two boys could attempt to decipher what had been said, and then Damien responded.
"I do." He nodded, grinning widely. Pip was ready to strangle him.
"And do you, Phillip, take Damien Lucifer to be your lawfully wedded husband slash wife, to and have to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and through health, until death do ye part?" Pip was a bit quicker to reply.
"I do."
"Then you may kiss the... bride slash groom!" Pip's father announced, and the two boys looked at him in shock.
"We have to kiss!?" The two cried out in unison. Suddenly, this wasn't quite so fun.
"Just one quick kiss, and then it's all over." Pip's mother responded, still holding the video camera. Pip looked at Damien. Damien looked at Pip. Both boys sighed, looking at Pip's father's support. He just waved a hand as to say 'get on with it'. Finding no sympathy from him, the boys kissed quickly, then turned in the other direction, and spit several times.
"Ewww!" Pip cried out, spitting again.
"I can't believe I just kissed another boy!" Damien added, also spitting. Pip's parents laughed heartily at the two boys, and shook their heads.
"Just wait until your other friends see this." Pip's father said casually. Damien and Pip stared at each other, and then at the parents.
"NO!" They both cried out, but the parents had already taken the tape out of the video camera, and were putting it on the shelf to show for later. Pip sighed as Damien smack his forehead with his palm.
"What did you get us into?"
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A/N - Hehehe! That was kinda fun to write! I can't believe I wrote this though... now I'm gong to have dreams! *sighs* I'm a bad girl. This can be taken either as a slash fic, or a cute little piece of fluff nothingness fic. Either way, it works for me! ^.^