Penetration

(R/S, Spoiler="Exile" episode, PG rating.)

He ran the scans three times, himself.

He'd expected his secret to be discovered the minute he sent 3 security crewmen running to her quarters, abandoning his station in the armory and sprinting.  He has no idea if he really did knock 2 crewmen down in the corridor or not.  All he heard at that moment was Hoshi's tense voice calling for security, and then NOT responding to him.

Of course, she'd been perfectly all right when he arrived, with no intruder in sight. Tense and slightly disconcerted, but collected, she thanked the security detail and joined him on the bridge.

He believed and did not believe.  The sensors never picked up a thing.

He tried to comfort her without letting her see how very concerned he felt, without letting her penetrate his careful façade.

He was infinitely more concerned to find her standing in the corridor a day later, eyes wide and unfocussed.   Now true fear blossomed in his chest.  Something was very very wrong.  Someone had managed to reach into the Enterprise in a way he could not defend against and rip away the confident layers of her and leave her confused and frightened.  It gnawed at his stomach to leave her in Sickbay, but the Captain's ready acceptance of the danger, without having to have it spelled out, allowed him to take steps to protect her and the ship.

Often in his dreams, they are one and the same – lover, ship, happiness, all intertwined.  A threat to one is a threat to both.

Having seen the creature that invaded her mind and heard its demands for her, his protective instincts shouted at him to deny the being's requests.  Moreover, his possessive instincts growled at the challenge to his own.  He slung his barbs at the creature, scouting weaknesses.  Bless the British for centuries of polite viciousness.  The creature is thrown off, stumbles, and yet he sees its jealous and possessive nature is equal to his own. 

After she leaves the Captain's readyroom, he speaks up.  Protesting the arrangement, he makes arguments to keep her on board.

"Why didn't you bring these up in front of Hoshi?"

I don't want her to know I…  Stall.  "I did not wish her to think I'm challenging her ability to take care of herself.  She most certainly is capable.  But she is also a very valuable member of this crew.  We cannot risk something happening to her."

"True.  But if this Tarquin can provide information on the Xindi…"

He wonders for the thousandth time if Jonathan Archer is right for this mission.   

She is calm and prepared in every sense.  She makes it out like a free shore-leave.  He does not join them for the trip down to leave her.  He cannot bear it.

In the days that follow, he secretly reviews the stolen database, seeking information on the being now holding his …. Holding her captive.   For to him, it is captivity, however limited or politely framed, and he will set her free.   Despite the events around the sphere, they are not delayed in returning.  The loss of power enrages him, but it is nothing to the pride he feels to hear her voice, her calm collected voice, and realize that she has controlled the situation.

Later, after her report, he commends her on her quick thinking and decisive actions, and she smiles, one of satisfaction.  He could almost pretend that his compliments mattered to her.

She retells the tale again to Travis and himself in the mess that evening, with much livelier language, full of her thoughts and impressions.  She mentions that it was Travis who was the catalyst for her actions, and a small tear rends his heart. 

But that tear becomes a door she walks through, for after Travis departs, she stays his escape with a hand on his arm. 

"When I realized it was a trick and confronted Tarquin, I thought 'what would Malcolm do?'  That's when I grabbed the amplifier."  And she bestows a smile on him again, this one of acknowledgement.  

 He does his best to smile in return, but knows he cannot hide the emotions her words raise.  She thought of him.  The admission means more to him that she could ever know.   And yet, her eyes seem full of understanding.

"Walk me to my quarters?"  She asks, and completely penetrates his heart.

END