There the two students stood, just outside the large front door of Hogwarts. One, taller and more muscular, with black hair and very good looks, stood behind the other, his chest to his back, hands resting on his sides as though guiding him. The other was slightly shorter, but wiry and lithe, frail and seemingly sick. Sirius and Remus, their forms illuminated by the almost-full moon; the real full moon would be three nights away.
"I can't," whimpered Remus, twisting his body so that it faced away from the sky. Sirius shook his head a bit, easing Remus forward a step.
"You promised that you would try," he whispered into Remus' ear, voice ever gentle. Another step, so small. Baby steps. Remus' heartbeat increased, pulse racing. Sirius could feel how tense he was.
"I changed my mind," Remus hissed up to him, turning again to try to escape It. His worst fear.
"Moony," Sirius murmured, against his ear. "You can do it."
"No," Remus made a tiny sniffling sound, and Sirius knew he was close to breaking down but he couldn't let him quit. Not when he was so close to facing it. "Please, I can't do this-"
"Remus!" Sirius barked, using force to turn the other toward the moon. Remus straightened, and then went limp in his arms. For a long moment, Sirius thought he was crying but then Remus slumped, shoulders rising and falling quickly as he cried, shuddering with tears. Finally, Sirius turned him around and accepted the tight embrace that Remus pulled him into.
"I tried," Remus whispered on the way back to their dormitory.
"I know," Sirius murmured quietly, squeezing his hand. "I know, Moony."
~*~
"Padfoot," muttered the adult Remus, shaking his head, "this is utterly ridiculous."
"You're still afraid," responded the gruff voice of Sirius, as he moved to take his... friend's... hand, pulling him toward the door. "Trust me; it's no way to live."
Remus only sighed because he knew, somehow, that Sirius was right. Sirius was always right when it came to things like life and love. So he went with his friend, squeezing his hand tighter and tighter until they were outside again. Two nights before the full moon. Remus straightened, and then turned away from it.
"Padfoot-"
"No, Moony," Sirius answered, behind him again to hold him, just like that night so many years ago.
"I can't-"
"Do you really believe that?" Sirius asked, voice a hushed whisper, right up against Remus' ear. He felt the warm rush of air against his skin. "Or is 'can't' just an easier word to say than 'won't'?"
Remus growled a little, and finally turned his face back to the moon, tilting it up. The light cascaded over his features like water rushing over a porcelain sink, bathing him in white and silver and gold. He stood there for a very long moment, the moon reflected in his widened eyes. Sirius let out a sigh against his neck, and then whispered to him again.
"I've waited to see you by the moonlight since I met you." Remus shivered at the words. And he kissed him.
And the two figures stood, outlined against the moon's light, gazing up into its celestial glow.
"I can't," whimpered Remus, twisting his body so that it faced away from the sky. Sirius shook his head a bit, easing Remus forward a step.
"You promised that you would try," he whispered into Remus' ear, voice ever gentle. Another step, so small. Baby steps. Remus' heartbeat increased, pulse racing. Sirius could feel how tense he was.
"I changed my mind," Remus hissed up to him, turning again to try to escape It. His worst fear.
"Moony," Sirius murmured, against his ear. "You can do it."
"No," Remus made a tiny sniffling sound, and Sirius knew he was close to breaking down but he couldn't let him quit. Not when he was so close to facing it. "Please, I can't do this-"
"Remus!" Sirius barked, using force to turn the other toward the moon. Remus straightened, and then went limp in his arms. For a long moment, Sirius thought he was crying but then Remus slumped, shoulders rising and falling quickly as he cried, shuddering with tears. Finally, Sirius turned him around and accepted the tight embrace that Remus pulled him into.
"I tried," Remus whispered on the way back to their dormitory.
"I know," Sirius murmured quietly, squeezing his hand. "I know, Moony."
~*~
"Padfoot," muttered the adult Remus, shaking his head, "this is utterly ridiculous."
"You're still afraid," responded the gruff voice of Sirius, as he moved to take his... friend's... hand, pulling him toward the door. "Trust me; it's no way to live."
Remus only sighed because he knew, somehow, that Sirius was right. Sirius was always right when it came to things like life and love. So he went with his friend, squeezing his hand tighter and tighter until they were outside again. Two nights before the full moon. Remus straightened, and then turned away from it.
"Padfoot-"
"No, Moony," Sirius answered, behind him again to hold him, just like that night so many years ago.
"I can't-"
"Do you really believe that?" Sirius asked, voice a hushed whisper, right up against Remus' ear. He felt the warm rush of air against his skin. "Or is 'can't' just an easier word to say than 'won't'?"
Remus growled a little, and finally turned his face back to the moon, tilting it up. The light cascaded over his features like water rushing over a porcelain sink, bathing him in white and silver and gold. He stood there for a very long moment, the moon reflected in his widened eyes. Sirius let out a sigh against his neck, and then whispered to him again.
"I've waited to see you by the moonlight since I met you." Remus shivered at the words. And he kissed him.
And the two figures stood, outlined against the moon's light, gazing up into its celestial glow.