We don't own Tenchi Muyo, Gundam Wing, or anything associated with them. All Elly has is a chair and The Gundam Wing Fan has a spork, and we don't think that's worth suing us over so don't do it, please. Unless you really need a chair and a spork for some reason… in that case, we really pity you and you can just have them. Enjoy!
No Need For Gundam Wing
Part 1
In a final galactic moment, the gundams ended the perilous space battle and saved the colonies from a dreary fate. The closing credits began to play.
"Yes! Alright!" First class detective Mihoshi rose to her feet and clapped her hands together. "They did it! Oh my gosh… that was so exciting!"
A head of light blue hair passed through the wall like a ghost. The space pirate Ryoko descended and yawned crankily.
"Ryoko!" Mihoshi laughed. "They did it! The gundam pilots won! Isn't that great?!"
Ryoko glanced at the TV. "It's just a show. How can you get so excited about that stuff, Mihoshi?"
Mihoshi was ready to explain the wonders of the gundam universe when Sasami entered, holding a big brass gong.
"It's time for breakfast!" She clashed the gong together. "Everybody come and get it!" *GONG* "Come on already!"
"Ouch! Would you knock that off?!" Ryoko covered her ears.
*GONG*
"Way to go, Heero!" Relena welcomed Wing's pilot back. "I heard all about it from the others."
Heero nodded and walked away. "Mission accomplished."
"The mission really was a great success." Quatre smiled. "It all went so smoothly."
Relena Peacecraft nodded.
It was all so frustrating. The sub-atomic processor just wouldn't interact with the particle spacer as predicted. Maybe if the negatively charged adroxaline was adjusted just so…
BOOM
…or not.
"Darn it!" Washu dusted the chemical waste off of her lab coat. "What is wrong with this thing?" She kicked her new invention vehemently. "I will get this right… but first… it sounds like breakfast is ready." Washu discontinued the kicking and knelt to hug the machine. "Now you just wait here, my lovely invention. Washu will finish you soon enough." Washu pushed a button on her wristwatch and disappeared into thin air… while blowing kisses toward the somewhat battered equipment.
Tenchi Masaki was picking up some fallen decorations from the shrine floor. How was it, that Washu's laboratory was in a different dimension, but the explosions still rocked the premises?
"Washu loves noise." Tenchi sighed as he examined a new scratch on one of the wall ornaments. "But I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Relena sighed. The pilots and their friends had all gathered at Quatre's mansion for a celebration, but she wasn't having any fun. Heero hadn't shown up yet, and the prospect of him coming at all looked rather grim.
"Cheer up, Relena!" Quatre had wandered over. "It's a party. You should be having fun."
"Yeah… you're right." Relena stayed in her corner. Quatre shrugged helplessly and went to save the buffet table from Duo.
Relena sighed and went to wait by the window.
"Just in time, Washu!" Sasami bowed politely. "And how has your morning been?"
Washu was piling assorted foods onto a china plate. "Just terrible! I've had thirteen explosions in the last half-hour! I have to admit I'm almost frustrated!"
"That's too bad, Washu." Mihoshi patted the world-class scientist's head. "Hey! Do you want some help? I've got the afternoon off!"
"Eh… heh heh. No thanks, Mihoshi. I've almost got it!" Washu winked maniacally.
"Oh okay." Mihoshi seemed to forget the whole thing.
"Excuse me, Washu. What exactly are you making in there?" Ayeka primly picked up her chopsticks and awaited Washu's response.
"You'll see!" Washu laughed evilly.
"Oh, another secret, eh?" Ryoko looked exasperated. "Come on, Washu… tell us!"
"No. You'll have to wait… just like the rest of the universe."
Everybody began grumbling out loud when Tenchi entered the front door quietly.
"Tenchi's here!!" Sasami ran to the front hall in a hurry, returning happily with Tenchi by the hand.
"I was afraid you might miss breakfast!" Sasami scolded. "I spent so long making it…"
"Don't worry, Sasami. I'd never miss eating something you cooked." Tenchi sat at the table while Sasami prepared another dish.
"Tenchi," Ayeka batted her eyelashes. "I thought after breakfast we could go for a walk! Wouldn't that be nice?"
Tenchi sighed miserably and waited for Ryoko to interject.
"Huh?" Ryoko was right on cue. "What are you talking about? I was going for a walk with Tenchi after breakfast!"
Ayeka turned her nose up. "No… I believe you're mistaken, Ryoko."
"Listen, Ayeka, give it up already!"
"Why don't you give it up, you awful person? Tenchi would rather go with me anyway."
"He'd rather go with me!"
"You're a monster!"
"You're a whiny idiot!"
"You're terrible!"
"WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?!!!" Tenchi surprised everyone when he got up and stormed out of the kitchen. There were a few moments of silence.
"…"
"…"
"Now… look what you did, Ayeka. I don't think I've ever seen Tenchi so angry with you."
"What do you mean, Ryoko? He left because of you!"
Sasami was sniffling sorrowfully. "I think he's angry with both of you. You both have ruined breakfast!" Sasami broke down into a fit of tears.
Washu stood up casually. "What a pity! However, I believe I've been enlightened as to how to complete my new invention… so I'll be off now." Washu de-materialized.
"This is all your fault!" Both Ryoko and Ayeka pointed at each other accusingly.
Sasami stared at Tenchi and Washu's abanded breakfasts on the table. This wasn't shaping up to be a great morning.
"He's here!" Relena pressed her nose against the window. "Heero!" She waved childishly.
"Phew!" Duo was observing Relena's antics from the other side of the room. "Good thing he did show up. Relena can be one cranky princess when she sets her mind to it."
Wufei acknowledged Duo's comment with a nod. "I think we're all relieved."
Washu rubbed her hands together, evil grin on face. "This should do it!" She exclaimed to nobody in particular. "You," She pointed at a random robot drone. "Dim the lights a bit, would you?" The drone creaked to the light switch and the room darkened considerably.
Washu studied her reflection in a shiny machine. "I am truly a genius! An evil, evil genius!!" She pushed the button that would commence the final test.
"Perfect! Oh, Washu you are incredible! More so than I thought!"
Mihoshi pouted and sank deeper into the couch. "634 channels… and not a single action show is on! What is the world coming to?!"
In a final furious act, she threw the remote control on the table and stood up, yawning.
"Maybe I can still help out Washu." Mishoshi skipped to the entrance to Washu's laboratory merrily.
Heero slammed on the brakes of the car to avoid hitting one of the statues in front of Quatre's mansion. He brought the car to an abrupt halt and jumped out.
"Heero!"
Heero glanced skyward and saw Relena waving joyously from a window. He waved back reluctantly. "It's going to be a long night."
Heero Yuy shook his head and made his way to the front entrance.
"Oh beautiful masterpiece, perfection of the perfect, wonder of the wonderful!" Washu brushed a tear out of her eye. "Forgive me, but your loving mother must leave you for a moment. I will return! Don't rust while I'm away." Washu marched towards the other side of the laboratory, waving longingly at her newly completed invention. She attached some wires to her forehead and pushed buttons on a different machine. Washu's eyes closed gently.
"Washu?" Mihoshi jumped a bit as the inter-dimensional door shut behind her, leaving a depressing nothingness and absolutely no sign of a door at all.
"Washu, why does your laboratory have to be so creepy?" Mishoshi advanced into the vast area timidly.
"Washu?! Where are you? I'm getting scared!" Mihoshi stumbled into a post. "Washu? Oh! There you are!" Mishoshi ran to where Washu was standing, wires on forehead.
"Washu, I was wondering if maybe you could use my help after all?" Mihoshi smiled cheesily. "See there was nothing on the TV, and I was… Washu?" She shook Washu by the shoulder. "Washu?!" She shook harder. Washu seemed to be in a kind of trance. "WASHU!! Don't leave me all alone in here! Wake up!" Mihoshi fell to her knees in a panic attack. "WAKE UP, WASHU!!!!!" She started to bite her fingernails nervously. "I forgot where the door was! I don't know how to get back to Tenchi's house! I want to go back!!"
Mihoshi crawled aimlessly around the hulking machines and robots. "One of these buttons must open the door!" She raised her finger over a shiny button… and pressed it.
The machine started to hum.
Mihoshi trembled.
Washu's eyes opened.
"Hmm? NO!" Washu tore the assorted wires from her head and ran toward her new machine, a startled Mihoshi standing in front of it guiltily.
"I didn't mean it, Washu!" Mihoshi grabbed Washu tightly. "I was just trying to leave but I couldn't find the door!"
"Let me go, you halfwit. Who knows what damage you've done to my beautiful work of art!"
Mihoshi released the fuming scientist. "Make it stop!"
Washu was frantically pushing a sequence of buttons repeatedly. "It's no good! This is not reversible!"
"Why not!? Why?!" A shimmering stream of tears was gushing down Mishoshi's face plaintively.
"Because I didn't think to assume that anyone would touch these controls except me!" Washu growled. "Now we'd better get out of here! This entire dimension bubble could collapse and we could be instantly enveloped by the void of hyperspace!"
"What do you mean?"
"Run!!!"
The scientist bolted in a direction, followed closely by Mishoshi. They arrived shortly at an empty section of the room, not occupied by any lab equipment.
"Open!" Washu commanded. She waited for a few moments… nothing happened. "OPEN! There's a door right here! OPEN!" No effect.
"I don't want to be in hyperspace!" Mihoshi blubbered. The whole area was shaking violently.
"You!" Washu pointed at a monitor. "Why isn't this door opening?"
"Dr. Washu, the other side of the entrance is currently occupied. It would be very dangerous to open the dimensional tunnel at this time." A hollow voice from nowhere in particular announced.
"What does that mean?" Mihoshi pleaded. There was a large shudder that caused the two girls to fall to their knees.
"It means someone at Tenchi's house is standing right where the door opens." Washu stood up shakily and started to run to a terminal.
"So?" Mishoshi followed. "Why can't we open it anyway?"
"Oh, we could," Washu was punching some brightly colored buttons on a machine that resembled a television somewhat. "If we didn't mind having that someone's molecular structure torn apart, that is. Aha!" The TV-like screen buzzed to life. On it was displayed a sleeping Ryo-ohki, twitching her ears in a satisfactory manner.
"Ryo-ohki?" Mihoshi observed. "Is Ryo-ohki blocking the door?"
"Yes, but not for long." Washu reached for a megaphone that was attached to many wires, but before she could grab it, another devastating quake shook the surroundings.
"Ohhh…" Washu steadied herself, and when the worst was over, made another grab for the megaphone. "Got it!" She cleared her throat. "RYO-OHKI, WAKE UP YOU LAZY CREATURE!"
On the view-screen, Ryo-ohki leapt to her feet and hissed wildly.
"Okay, to the door!" The duo ran back to the door with difficulty. The ground seemed to be dissipating as the tremors grew worse. "Open!" Washu commanded. This time, the door hissed open. Mihoshi jumped through, smashing confused Ryo-ohki with her landing. Washu stepped into the other dimension and then turned to face the door.
"Come on, Washu!" Mihoshi had Ryo-ohki safely in her arms.
"No! My lab's done for, but if I don't get this door closed, who knows what'll happen to Tenchi's world! Go warn the others to take cover!" Washu whipped a small keypad out of her pocket and began an attempt to override the door's controls. "It's stuck! That last tremor must have knocked out the power!"
Quatre stifled a laugh. Trowa even looked a little amused. Heero was in the process of evading Relena and her cheerful inquiries, but without much luck.
"It's nice to see them getting along." Quatre said.
"Getting along?" Trowa raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah! Heero wouldn't take that from anybody else. I think Relena's really grown on him."
Trowa seemed to reconsider the thought and nodded slightly. "Maybe."
"Really, I'm so glad you're here!" Relena pursued Heero relentlessly. "We haven't gotten to spend too much time together… you've had so many missions lately."
"I know… I'm sorry, Relena." Heero looked at her with exhaustion in his eyes.
"I miss you when you go."
"I know."
"When will you be back for good, Heero?"
Heero looked away angrily and shrugged. "When there are no more missions, I won't be back at all."
"What? What do you mean?"
"That's none of your business. I want you to leave me alone now."
Relena looked grief stricken, but didn't leave. "Not until you tell me what you meant."
Heero looked back. "Just forget about it."
"Washu's what?" Ryoko and Ayeka had postponed an inevitable fistfight, when Mihoshi stomped into the living room.
"She's trying to close the lab door so we won't get blown up or something! She says to take cover!" Mihoshi was sobbing all over Ryo-ohki.
"Oh my heavens!" Ayeka ran into the next room. "I've got to save Sasami!"
"Oh no, Tenchi!" Ryoko floated through the wall, in search of Tenchi.
"We'd better save ourselves too, Ryo-ohki." Mihoshi dashed outside.
"Tenchi!"
Tenchi looked up worriedly. He was probably going to really get it now, after what happened at breakfast.
"Tenchi!" Ryoko zoomed over to him. "Oh, I was so concerned about you!"
"What's wrong, Ryoko?" Tenchi dropped his broom and placed his hands on Ryoko's shaking shoulders.
"Washu's lab is blowing up! She's afraid your house might blow too! We've got to get out of here!"
"Wait a minute, what about the others?"
"They all know! In fact…" Ryoko pointed to the entrance of Tenchi's house. "Here they come." Mihoshi was carrying Ryo-ohki and Ayeka had Sasami by the hand.
"Tenchi!" Ayeka exclaimed when they all had arrived. "What should we do now?"
"I don't know!" Tenchi looked around at the desperate faces. "Where's Washu?"
"She's trying to shut the dimensional tunnel!" Mihoshi informed.
Quatre waved as the last of the guests left. The pilots were all staying at his house, so they were still there.
"That was fun!" Duo said as he put his feet up on an expensive table, nearly knocking over a sculpture of some sort. "We should invite them over every night!"
"No thanks." Quatre shut the front door. "It's tough work being a host. I'm exhausted… and you didn't really help!" He pointed at Duo.
"Wha-hat?" Duo looked hurt. "I was a perfect guest!"
Quatre laughed. "Yeah sure. Next time, don't build a fort out of my dining table though, okay?"
"Hey! That was totally legitimate. Me and Hilde were having a food fight war."
"I noticed!" Quatre smiled as he picked up one of many banana peels. "I just wish that so many of the guests hadn't ended up as casualties!"
"Price of war." Duo shrugged. "Anyway, let's see what's on TV." The big-screen TV was switched on. Duo and Quatre watched it avidly, while Heero and Wufei played cards. Trowa had fallen asleep on a recliner hours ago.
"Go fish." Heero mumbled.
"Who came up with this game!?" Wufei complained.
"Please… please, please, please…" Washu tried another combination of buttons on her keypad. The door refused to respond. "This has got to work!" Suddenly the lab seemed to ripple, as if it were made out of water. "Too late…" Washu punched another sequence hopelessly. She glanced into her beloved lab as machines and consoles liquidated, forming a sphere of metallic water, which was growing rapidly.
"I hope everybody's found a safe place to hide." She continued trying buttons. Lightning-like energy blasts began emitting from the sphere. There was still a violent shaking. Washu fell backwards, as the sphere enlarged through the door.
"Ahhhh!" A stray energy bolt struck the scientist in the chest maliciously. Washu fell silent, keypad still grasped tightly in her right hand.
"Tenchi, look!" Sasami grabbed Tenchi's arm and pointed at the sphere that had consumed their home. "We'd better run."
Tenchi nodded. "Washu couldn't stop it. Let's go everybody."
"Wait." Ayeka said solemnly. "Maybe I can protect everybody with my Jurain shield?"
"Against that?" Ryoko said doubtfully. "You're pitiful powers won't save us from that, princess."
Ayeka cast her eyes downwards. "I could still try…"
"No, Ayeka." Sasami pulled on Ayeka's skirt. "We all should run."
"I agree, and we should go now!" Tenchi directed the group away from the house. It was still intact and standing, but was gradually being enveloped in the indescribable force field. They began running, but it was soon obvious that their pursuer was gaining on them.
"We have no choice but to make a stand!" Ayeka spread her arms out and closed her eyes. Her skin began glowing an unearthly red, and she soon was enveloped in the hue.
"Oh, Ayeka…" Sasami sniffled.
Ayeka suddenly opened her eyes, and her Jurain shield brightened. Everybody blinked. Between the sphere, and Ayeka's willpower, the landscape had grown overwhelmingly luminous.
"Here it comes!" Mihoshi warned.
The sphere seemed to leap upon the unlucky friends. The last thing Tenchi could remember was the strange sensation of being absorbed into the cruel monster.
Trowa woke up with a start. There had been an explosion nearby. Was somebody attacking Quatre's mansion?
"What was that!?" Wufei dropped his hand of cards as he stood up.
Everybody was at their feet, glancing around nervously.
"Let's go find out." Heero had drawn his gun. Everybody followed him to the hanger, where the noise had been heard.
It was a cold night, and the metal door of the hanger stung Heero's hand as he pushed it open. He stepped inside quickly and looked around.
"Look!" Duo pointed. At the foot of Sandrock Kai was a collection of strange looking figures.
"People!" Quatre exclaimed as he ran to the unconscious gathering. "Five women, one guy about our age… and what is this weird little thing?"
Trowa picked up the pitiful form of Ryo-ohki cautiously.
"Oh, it's cute!" Quatre snatched her from him quickly and looked her over. "It's like a bunny-kitty or something!"
The others approached the motionless gathering.
"She's alive." Wufei announced. He was holding Sasami's wrist. "How did they get here?"
"I don't know. This guy's alive too." Heero was kneeling beside Tenchi. "And this girl." He put his hand on Ayeka's forehead.
"Wha?" Ryoko opened her eyes painfully. Her immediate surroundings were blurry and colorless. A little to her right stood what appeared to be a giant metal foot of some kind. "Where?"
Trowa looked down at the blue-headed girl at his feet. "Shh. You should wait before you exert any energy." He knelt down and studied Ryoko's face. "Hmm. She has fangs."
"How did we get here?" Ryoko glanced around and then rested her head against the hard floor with a thud. The world was slowly coming to focus.
"Are you spies?" Heero questioned her. "Who do you work for?"
"What are you talking about?" Ryoko coughed in exhaustion.
"These people aren't spies… this one looks pretty hurt." Quatre rubbed Mihoshi's hands between his.
"She isn't as badly off as she is." Wufei gestured at Washu's form. "I think she's dead."
Ryoko sat up, dizzied. "What's wrong with Washu?" She held her head and looked around. "Tenchi?!!" Ryoko tried to bolt to her feet, but collapsed to her knees before she got far.
Trowa steadied her. "He's okay." He reassured. "Right now you need to focus on getting better yourself."
Ryoko reached a hand out in Tenchi's direction. "He'd better be all right… if you people have done anything to Tenchi, I'll…" She gave up and relaxed a bit.
"Ow…" Mihoshi moaned. Quatre released her hands. "She's waking up!"
"Owie. That hurts." Mihoshi complained as she sat up, holding her head.
"Whatever happened to them sure doesn't seem to last long." Duo commented.
"Hey!" Mihoshi exclaimed after she opened her eyes. "I know you guys!"
Everybody looked at her hopefully. "Really?" Quatre said. "We don't know you."
"Of course not!" Mihoshi laughed. "But I watch you on TV every day! You're awesome… ooo!" Mihoshi stood up and took in the scenery. "Your gundams are even bigger than I imagined!"
"What do you know about the gundams?" Heero asked threateningly.
"Just that they're very powerful and made out of gundanium."
"Guess we made it onto the news after all." Duo commented.
"Ugh." Tenchi awoke and gathered his senses quickly.
"Tenchi!" Ryoko exclaimed. "What happened, Tenchi?"
"We've got to get these people in the house right now!" Quatre announced. Everybody agreed readily and helped the conscious strangers to their feet. As for the unconscious: Heero gathered Ayeka in his arms, Duo collected Sasami, and Wufei threw Washu over his shoulder.
"Whaddaya mean, Earth?" Ryoko put her hands on her hips threateningly. "Listen pal, I wasn't born yesterday, you know! This is not Earth, or even a cheap imitation at that!"
Quatre paled. "I'm not kidding. This is Earth!"
"But where are all the beautiful trees and foliage?" Ayeka was holding a cup of tea in both her hands, as she was still shaky.
"There's some trees outside. Do those not count or something?" Duo questioned the princess.
"Those aren't Earth trees." Sasami was busy tending to her friends. "Earth trees have all kinds of beautiful colors… those trees outside are so faded…"
"We can discuss this later." Tenchi was assisting Sasami. "Quatre, how is Washu doing?"
Quatre stared at the floor. All the guests had woken, except for the short girl with the pink hair. "My medics say she was electrocuted… pretty badly."
"Oh poor Washu." Ayeka put her hand on her forehead dramatically. "And she was trying to protect us, too."
"That's her problem!" Ryoko smiled selfishly. "Now where'd that guy with the great hairdo get off to?"
"Trowa is busy." Heero replied.
"Too busy for me?" Ryoko winked.
"I'd have to say yes."
"What do you want to bug him for anyway, Ryoko?" Tenchi sounded just a little distressed.
"What's the matter, Tenchi?" The space pirate studied her fingernails. "I just want to thank him for helping me to the house… that's all, really! You know nothing could ever steal my attention away from you."
"My my, Ryoko!" Ayeka sat down her cup of tea. "Are you blushing?"
"The mighty Ryoko, blush?" She hid her face in her hands. "Never!"
"I'd say Ayeka's right." Tenchi folded his arms over his chest. "You're turning very pink."
"Stop it!" Ryoko giggled as she floated out of earshot. 'I just want to thank him.' She thought. 'That's all.'
"Is Miss Washu ever going to wake up?" Sasami looked at Duo with her typical adorable expression.
"How should I know? Do I look like a P.H.D. to you?" Duo shrugged. "Hey, and do you know if her hair looked like that before she was electrocuted, cause let me tell you…"
Tears welled in Sasami's eyes. "There's nothing wrong with her hair… no more than yours anyway."
"Hey!" Duo raised a finger at Sasami, but she was already marching away. "It's not like you couldn't use a trim either, kiddo!"
"So you're saying our only plan is to wait here on this so called Earth and hope that Washu wakes up so she can send us back?!" Ayeka fumed openly. "Not very appealing if you ask me."
"It doesn't look like you have any choice." Heero pointed out. "And you should consider that we've been taking care of you guys all night long. I think we all should get some rest."
"I have plenty of room for all of you." Quatre explained. "I'm sure things will look better in the morning!"
"Oh Quatre, you always were my favorite!" Mihoshi swooned. "And you're absolutely right!"
"Uh… thanks. And you can explain more about this 'Gundam Wing' show to me later, too. We're really on TV?"
"Mmm hmm!" Mihoshi nodded. "It's a great program! I never miss it."
"Let's go to bed." Ryoko stretched and glanced at the office where Trowa was working. "Does he ever sleep?"
"RYOKO!" Tenchi snapped.
"Geez, Tenchi! Cool it would you?"
Quatre escorted the strange visitors to various rooms and then fell asleep in the living room, too tired to ascend the twenty-three flights of stairs to his room.
"Morning!"
Duo opened his eyes very slowly. "Who's there?"
"It's time for breakfast!" * GONG *
"What the heck?!" Duo was instantly wide-awake. Sasami was standing in his doorway with a…
"Gong? What are you doing with a gong?"
"I made you all breakfast! Won't you come down and eat?"
"I'm not a breakfast person, kiddo. Go bug somebody else."
Sasami pouted cutely. "Aw, but it's a special meal! It took me hours!"
"Yeah, so?" Duo was about to go back to bed when he noticed the pitiful expression on the little girl's face. "This is real important to ya, huh?"
Sasami nodded.
"Okay… I'll be down in a minute."
Duo entered the kitchen to find pure havoc. The other four pilots were already seated and so were the Tenchi crew. (minus Washu of course) Ayeka and Ryoko were screaming at each other for the heck of it and Tenchi was trying to break them up. Mihoshi was blabbering endlessly at Quatre, who had a rather blank expression on his face. Sasami was madly trying to keep the food supply constant, while sweeping the floor. Trowa was struggling to breathe and pry Ryoko's arms off from around his neck. Wufei had the crankiest look on his face… ever. Heero was pretending not to notice Ayeka's coy glances.
"Um… hi." Duo sat down nervously.
"Oh Duo, I'm so glad you made it!" Sasami slammed a plate of food down in front of him. "Now eat up!"
"You'd better make it quick, or else Princess Tubby here might eat it before you get a chance!" Ryoko still had Trowa in a death grip.
"You're the one eating all the food, Ryoko." Ayeka stole a triumphant glance at Heero. "Just look at your figure!"
"Hey! I just happen to have the thinnest waist in the galaxy! Don't you think so, Trowa?" Ryoko released the gundam pilot and smiled.
"Yeah, I'd say you're in pretty good shape." Trowa was rubbing his neck in pain.
"Stupid women." Wufei looked truly, truly cranky.
"Is that so!" Ayeka stood up. "Heero, I'm much thinner than Ryoko, don't you think?"
"I have no opinion."
"How about you, Tenchi? I am the thinner one, right?"
"It doesn't matter, Ayeka."
"Quatre?"
"You're both equally beautiful…"
"Wufei?"
"Stupid women."
"Duo?!"
"Whatever."
"See, Ayeka!" Ryoko smirked. "Nobody wants to tell you how fat you are. But your mirror won't lie, go see for yourself!"
"I am not fat! I am dainty and fair!"
"I don't think you're fat, Ayeka." Mihoshi said through a mouthful of food.
"You're opinion doesn't interest me one bit!!" Ayeka stamped her foot. "Now all of you stop being so shy! Just because I am the princess of Jurai, doesn't mean you can't be honest!"
"We all know you're lovely…" Sasami comforted.
"Stay out of this, Sasami!"
'We won't have peace until somebody gives in.' Duo sighed. "Ayeka, you are lovely and have a petite waist. Now will you sit down and shut up?"
Ayeka seemed oblivious to the insult and sat down happily. "See?"
"Stupid women."
"Nothing unusual." Trowa was running tests in the hanger where Tenchi and co. had appeared. "No disturbance."
"That's too bad… I guess I'm stuck here." Ryoko had accompanied him… quite willingly. "What's a poor girl to do?"
Trowa continued scanning.
Ryoko cleared her throat. "I'm beginning to feel quite desperate." She said, not really sounding desperate at all. "And lonely and vulnerable… are you listening to me?"
Trowa nodded.
"Well… what do you think about that lonely and vulnerable stuff? It's really starting to get to me."
"I think you should be quiet." Trowa replied.
"But I'm spilling my heart for you! I'm informing you of my woes and sorrows. You're supposed to sweep me off my feet and tell me everything's gonna be just peachy!"
"Sorry." Trowa hadn't looked in her direction once.
"You've fallen madly in love with me but just don't know how to admit it. That's the truth, isn't it? Come on, tell me."
"I hardly know you."
"But it was love at first sight. And now you want to spend the rest of your life with me!"
"I don't think so."
"Are you worried about Tenchi? I know he's hopelessly enamored with me as well, but that's his loss." Ryoko fluffed her hair. "Now come on."
"You have a serious problem."
"Is that any way to talk to your beloved?"
"No, I would never say that to someone I cared about."
"Hey!"
'How devious!' Ayeka peeked into the hanger cautiously, Ryo-ohki sitting on her shoulder. 'That awful Ryoko is trying to make Tenchi jealous by seducing that Trowa person! Just look at her! Oh Lord Tenchi, you would never fall for her schemes. Or would you? I can't let her get away with this… I must fight fire with fire!'
"Let's head back and see what Heero is up to, Ryo-ohki." Ayeka grinned devilishly. "He'll be happy to see me!"
"And then that Dorothy girl stabbed you!" Mihoshi spoke rapidly. "I cried at that part."
"Well," Quatre was sitting outside with Mihoshi. "All of that stuff did really happen. I wonder how it's possible that our reality became your entertainment?"
"I don't know… but I'm glad I got to meet you. I always dreamed that you were all real, and not just a television show."
"I'm glad I got to meet you too, Mihoshi. I only wish I could help you get back home… to your colorful Earth." Quatre sighed. "This is a post-war Earth, and that's not a very fun place to live."
"I don't mind. It looked much more exciting on TV though." Mihoshi giggled. "But you look much cuter in person!"
"What?" Quatre blushed.
"You heard me!"
Quatre didn't really know what to say.
"Nothing to sweep?!" Tenchi was holding a broom. "What do you mean?"
"The sidewalks are all clean." Wufei announced. "We don't need anybody to sweep them."
"Well, at least that's one job I don't have to do anymore."
"Heero?" Ayeka brushed Ryo-ohki away. "What are you doing?"
Heero looked up from his computer monitor. "I am studying. Leave me alone."
Ayeka shut the door behind her and approached the computer. "What are you studying?"
"Your friend's condition."
"You mean Washu? What have you found out?"
"Her brainwaves are slowing. She'll be dead within three days by my calculations." Heero looked up at Ayeka. "I'm researching ways to save her."
Ayeka shuddered. "This is terrible. We're all so helpless here…"
"It's not so bad."
"No?" Ayeka allowed a tear to escape her lavender eye. "Heero, I'm so terribly homesick. And even though I'm surrounded by people I'm… lonely."
"You have all your friends here with you."
"What about you, Heero? Are you lonely?"
"I have my comrades, too." Heero began rapidly typing. "But if they all were to drop dead I still wouldn't be lonely. And I wouldn't miss them either."
"What a horrible thing to say!" Ayeka bristled. "What ever makes you think that way?"
"I'm a soldier."
"That's no excuse. Those other people are there for you… shouldn't you be there for them?"
'She sounds like Relena.' Heero thought. 'But they're both wrong.'
"I think you are lonely. I think your whole world would shatter if anything happened to your friends." Ayeka said sternly.
"You think an awful lot for a stranger. You don't know us."
"I know more than you do."
"Leave now. Maybe I can help your friend."
Ayeka put her hand on Heero's shoulder. "Yes. Her name is Washu and she's very… special. Please do all you can to save her." Ayeka left the room gracefully.
'So much like Relena.' Heero sighed. 'So determined.'
Duo entered his bedroom and stopped short. "What the…" Everything was neat and tidy and very much unlike the way he had left it.
"Phew!" Sasami appeared from the other side of the room. "That was a big job… you're real messy, Duo."
"What'd you do to my room?" Duo looked around frantically.
"I straightened up! What do you think?" Sasami began dusting a bookcase.
"It's all so weird… wha, I have a bookcase?"
"Yeah, but it was so piled up with stuff you couldn't see it."
"Cool! I didn't know I had a bookcase. Well uh… thanks Sasami."
"You're welcome!" Sasami beamed cheerfully. "I'm happy to do it. You guys have helped us out so much, and we've been such a burden."
"Don't mention it. I'm gonna go see what else I can find!"
Sasami bowed politely and exited.
Trowa ducked as a beam of light shrieked over his head and burned a hole in the hanger wall.
"See? I'm awesome. I could blast you to pieces if I felt like it. Do you feel like insulting me now?!" Ryoko was floating in mid-air, demonstrating her abilities.
Trowa glared at her. "This is not helping. Don't you want to get back home?"
"Mmmm…" Ryoko seemed to consider the idea. "Nope. Not really. What I really want is for you to confess your timeless love for me!"
"We've been over that." Trowa examined the remains of some equipment that Ryoko had blasted earlier.
"Yeah, I know, but I wasn't satisfied with the results. How about this," Ryoko levitated in Trowa's direction. "I'll start." She flung her arms around him in a death grip. "I love you!"
"Stop that." Trowa ordered.
"Not until you give up!" Ryoko smiled. "I'm a space pirate. I could crush you to death you know."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because you're being so unreasonable. And anti-social. It's not good for you."
"Let go."
Ryoko shook her head playfully. "I'd kill you first."
'Psycho.' Trowa struggled hopelessly. The girl was really remarkably powerful. 'Why me?' "Let go."
"It'll only take three little words from you!"
"Let me go."
"That's not it!"
Trowa sighed despondently.
"Come on! You've got to get over this shy thing!"
"How can I if I can't breathe?" He complained.
"Hmm? That's a rotten excuse!"
Trowa said something indeterminable under his breath.
"Oh!" Ryoko released him and clasped her hands together as she floated downward angelically. "So you've finally stated your feelings for me! That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"If I survive the internal bleeding." He choked.
"And you even made a joke for me. Wow!" Ryoko laughed. "You must really, really love me. And you look so cute the way you're gasping for air. I didn't squeeze you that hard did I? Oops."
Wufei was sitting by Washu's bed. "This is the only quiet place left in the entire house since last night. You're so much more peaceful than your friends." Wufei studied the scientist's face for a few minutes. "I wonder if her hair was like that before she was electrocuted…"
"Ayeka!" Tenchi was honestly happy to see the Jurain princess. "Where's everybody been? I've had nothing to do."
"Oh that's too bad, Tenchi." Ayeka forced herself not to ask Tenchi to go on a walk with her. 'I mustn't let Ryoko win the upper hand.' "You know, I think Heero and I are going to go for a little walk around the place later on… won't that be lovely?"
"Huh? With Heero? He said that?"
"Well uh… close enough anyway. He really was such a gentleman, carrying me inside last night and all."
"Yeah. I guess you're right."
"I'm really quite taken with him, Tenchi."
"Really, Ayeka? I wouldn't have guessed he'd be your type. Kind of a scary guy if you ask me."
"Are you worried for my safety? I can take care of myself, you know."
"No, I wasn't saying that, it's just…"
'Yes! He is jealous.' "Do you want me to spend more time with you?"
Tenchi noticed Ayeka's triumphant face. "You should do whatever makes you happy, Ayeka. I won't get in your way."
'What?! But I want you in the way, Tenchi.' "Thank you." Ayeka sniffed and marched away.
'This might be a good thing.' Tenchi thought. 'With Ayeka and Ryoko both occupied, I might finally be able to relax.'
"Hey, I was thinking," Mihoshi smiled. "When Washu wakes up, maybe you can come back with us! Wouldn't that be great?"
"That's really nice of you, Mihoshi." Quatre smiled back. "But this Earth needs me. I'd take you up on that if I didn't have so many responsibilities."
"That's a shame." Mihoshi pouted. "I wonder when Washu's planning on waking up anyway."
"Quatre, can I talk to you?" Heero had snuck up unnoticed.
"Sure, Heero." Quatre looked back at Mihoshi. "I'll be right back."
"What's going on?" Quatre asked Heero. The other three pilots were already standing in the dining room.
"I have done a little research." Heero told the group. "And that Washu girl is not going to be waking up anytime soon."
"When then?" Duo asked.
"She's never coming out of it. She'll slip away sometime within the next seventy-two hours." Heero replied grimly.
"What? That's terrible!" Quatre was shocked. "How will our guests get home?"
"Good question. It appears that they're stuck here permanently."
"No!" Trowa exclaimed.
"What's wrong with you?" Wufei asked.
"Ryoko is driving me crazy. Oh well, she'll probably have killed me within the week so I won't have to worry about any of this."
"Kill you?" Quatre was concerned. "Why would she kill you?"
"Long story."
"Who wouldn't want to kill Trowa?" Duo chuckled. "But seriously, if they're all stuck here, we might as well break the news to 'em."
"They deserve to know." Wufei agreed.
"Right then." Heero stated. "Each of them seems to have a certain affinity for one of us. I think it would be best if we split up and told them separately."
"Yeah, otherwise we'll have a group pity-fest on our hands." Duo shuddered.
"Let's go." Quatre said reluctantly.