Author's notes: Rated PG-13 for...lots of stuff you've gotten used to if you've made it this far.  Slight language, sexual humor, etc.

Other notes, credits, and thanks have been shifted to the bottom of the chapter.  ^^

Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! does not belong to me, and the only bunnies I own are of the plot variety.

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One Week - Day Six

         It's not until the next day that I feel halfway better, if a guy can feel better with stitches all over his kneecap, bandages everywhere from his back to his ass, and his leg up over his head in a traction.  Come to think of it, I think I preferred unconsciousness.  Though I was pretty loopy yesterday even when I was awake, first from the pain and then from the anesthetic from my emergency knee surgery.  Did ya hear that?  Knee surgery.  My first time in an operating room and I was asleep the whole time.  Pity.

         I'm still a bit out of it today, sorta wavering in and out of nuttiness, depending on how high a dosage of painkillers they have me on at the time.  They'll keep me on them for at least a few days, though I'll probably get to get out of the hospital as early as tomorrow.  Might've even been today, but apparently I took too long to regain consciousness yesterday and they figured I somehow hit my head when I fell, too.  Actually, my theory is Kaiba whacked me a good one when I passed out, but the point is I managed to get a concussion and between it and my knee, they're keeping me overnight again for observation.

         My parents were understandably a little freaked.  They both wanted to drive up and visit me, but I talked them out of it.  Dad 'cause he thinks sobriety is something that happens in a church service, and mom I figure has already missed three other medical emergencies in my life, so one more won't hurt.  At least they were concerned.  Mom even sent me flowers. 

         As did half my class.  My room looks like a freakin' florist's.  I got a bouquet from every chaperone on the trip.  And Yugi and Téa and everybody pitched in together for a big basket—well, almost everybody.  Duke sent his separately, courtesy of his game shop.  Don't be impressed, it was a  funeral wreath.  Ha, I am so not amused. 

         But what is funny is the five vases of flowers I got sent by—get this—"secret admirers."  Who knew?  Next thing ya know I'll be homecoming king.  And then Dan Brown and Adam Reese even managed to send me a basket with a cleverly concealed bottle of vodka in it.  That got confiscated by the nurse.  Shame, too.  This place doesn't have much by way of refreshment. 

         It ain't exactly a thrill a minute around here.  During my waking hours, when I'm not giving delivery boys my autograph, I can do one of two things: Watch a talk show on TV, or watch a soap opera on TV.  I watch the first all morning, catching up on all the I'm-having-my-stepfather's-baby crises, and then after lunch I watch Hearts Afire, which oddly enough has the same subplot.  Somewhere in the middle of Bill cheating on Jill the nurse brings in another of my painkillers.  We discuss the finer points of the murder trial for Jack, Jill's ex-husband twice removed, and then the drugs kick in.  I fall asleep right before finding out if he's guilty.

         It's gotta be a couple hours later when I start coming to, albeit groggily.  This stuff I'm on is heavy, man.  It's makin' me hear voices in my head, and they're tellin' each other to shut up.  I should tell Yugi.  He thinks he's special 'cause he's got one little psychic friend, and here I am with five in my mind.  I didn't know I had enough room up there.

         Come to think of it, one of those voices sounds like Yugi.  "I wonder what he's dreaming about," he says softly.  Good question.  Hm—I can't remember exactly, but I think it had something to do with a giant donut.

         "Knowing him, it probably has something to do with food," another voice says, this one sounding oddly like Tristan.  Definitely as smart-alecky.

         "Shh, you'll wake him up."  That one sounded like Téa.  Probably my conscience talkin'.

         "I think he already is."  My subconscious has a British accent.  "Joey?  Are you awake?"

         I shift around a little under my sheets.  "Five more minutes..." I groan.  Yugi's voice giggles, or rather Yugi, because I've come to enough to realize I've got visitors, not schizophrenia. 

         I blink awake and see the whole gang hanging around my bed.  Don't I feel underdressed.  Everyone's got on their snazziest ski resort chic and here I am in a flimsy hospital gown.  I pull the sheet up a little higher on my chest and pretend I'm just yawning.  "Hey, guys."

         "Joey!"  Yugi's smiling, though it's a weird sort of guilty smile, like he's somehow betraying me to be happy in a hospital.  "How do you feel?"

         I hate that question.  I'm in the hospital, how do you think I feel?  At least with my friends I can be honest.  "Like a drugged horse," I answer, and Yugi frowns.  Well, not too honest if I don't want to worry him.  "But I could be worse," I reassure him, patting him on the hand.  His smile at that is genuine.  "How'd ya get here, anyway?"

         "There was a shuttle from the lodge to downtown," Tristan answers.  "We had to walk a couple blocks, but the hospital's not that far from the stop."  His long-lost Siamese twin, I mean, Duke, nods in agreement.

         "Oh."  My brain's not quite up to speed.  Normally I'd give them some sly wisecrack, like 'how long did it take you to find the sidewalk' or something, to show my appreciation.  The more derogatory, the more grateful I am, get it?  But today all I can come up with is—"Thanks."

         Luckily, they don't take offense.

         "Hey, we were worried," Téa says, and then narrows her eyes.  "What in the world possessed you to try such a stunt anyway, Joey?"

         The fact that everyone's staring at me, waiting for an answer, is not helping my brain work any faster.  That, and their faces run the gamut from worried (Yugi) to condescending (Tristan and Duke) to murderous (Téa).  I ponder the wall opposite me before I finally offer, "Stupidity?"

         Yugi's worry changes to laughter and Tristan rolls his eyes.  "At least he's honest," he says.  I shrug sheepishly.

         "I was just trying to prove something," I say for more explanation, "'cept all I ended up proving was that a guy who's only skied three days probably shouldn't try the expert slope."

         Téa's still shaking her head.  "Joey, if I hadn't been so worried when we found out what happened, I would have killed you."    Seeing as she's threatened to kill me a hundred times over, and I'm still here, I'm not too worried.  Kinda weird, though, that my friends know more about what I did yesterday than I do.

         I push the button on my bed to sit up so I can talk easier.  It goes too far and I lower it back down.  That's no good, so I raise it back up.  But it's too high, so I bring it back down, then it's too low, so it comes back up, down, up, down—Téa clears her throat and I decide it's fine where it's at. 

         "What did happen, anyway?" I ask.  "After I fell, I mean.  I  vaguely remember crashing, and bits and pieces of the ambulance, and next thing I know I woke up in this bed and the nurses were tellin' me I'd had surgery."

          Everyone looks at each other, and Tristan says,  "You tell him, Yugi, you were there." He helps himself to a box of chocolates one of my 'secret admirers' sent.  Duke follows suit and I give the two of them a dirty look, then make a big show of graciously offering it to Yugi and Bakura.   And Téa, who first accuses me of tryin' to make her too fat for her leotard and then takes two pieces.

         "Well," Yugi says, having a little trouble speaking at first thanks to a caramel gluing his teeth shut, "I'm not sure exactly what happened either.  But Kaiba and I were riding the ski lift together, not talking, and we were almost at the top when he got—weird." 

         I raise my eyebrows.  "More so than usual, you mean?"

         "Joey!"  His attempt to look stern is ruined by his involuntary snort.  "I mean, he got this funny look on his face and I couldn't tell if he was mad or amused," he clarifies.  "I asked him what was wrong, but all he said was..." 

         And then he pauses and blushes.  I sigh.  I know what's coming.  "It's okay, just say it."

         "That damn mutt.'"  He whispers the expletive and looks apologetic.  I wave it off in an exaggerated manner and he smiles.  "He didn't say anything else, and when we got to the top he just jumped off and started skiing down without me.  He was really fast," he says in wonder, and then I see him space out.  Ah, Yami must be jealous.

         "And then?"  I ask. "How'd you know where to find me?"

         "Well, I followed Kaiba, because I figured something happened to you."  Naw, Yug, what was your first clue?  The damn, or the mutt?  "Kaiba beat me"—another pause and trance—"though only because he had a head start."  Apparently Yami insisted on the qualifier.  "Anyway, when I got down to the bottom of the hill, Téa was back.  She saw where Kaiba was going, and we followed him down to the expert slope.  I guessed what happened, and then I knew for sure when I found this."

         Dum dum da dum.  Suddenly I'm having B-movie dé jà vu.  Detective Yugi pulls the 'irrefutable' proof out of his pocket and carefully places it by my bedside tray.  No kidding—Kaiba's stopwatch, its face now cracked.  I must have dropped it when I tried to strangle, err, when I tripped that guy.

         Téa takes over.  "Yugi wanted to follow you up there.  But luckily"—she glares at him—"they'd already closed the ski lift.  We found out later it was because of your accident.  I mean, not that I wanted you to get hurt.  But otherwise he might be in the hospital bed next to you." 

         She seems peeved, which looks like a carry-over from yesterday, while Yugi's entirely unconcerned.  It would probably be of great comfort to him to realize they're already like an old married couple.  'Course, I dunno—right now he's gettin' the arguments but not the benefits.

         Anyway.  "So ya don't know how I got down?"

         "Moneybags, apparently," Tristan says, and then grins when I give him a dirty look.  He probably thinks it's because he's eating another chocolate—'course, he did take the last peanut butter—but my chief grievance?  He used my name for Kaiba.  Sure, the guy's a rich bastard with severe psychological tendencies, but I'm the only one allowed to tell him that.

         But, "And that's supposed to mean...?" is all I say.  Well, just a little disgruntled.

         "He used his cell phone to call for help," Duke explains, since Tristan is still licking peanut butter from his lips.  "And stayed with you until one of the emergency vehicles got there."  That's enough to pull my attention away from the chocolate and back to the conversation.

         "Kaiba.  Watched over me like a guard dog."  I'm dubious at the role reversal.

         "It's true."  Yugi backs him up.  "He told us when he got to the bottom of the slope.  And then he asked for a rematch."  He rolls his eyes.  I grin in spite of myself.  That's Kaiba for you.  Best friend in the hospital?  It's okay, he's on life support.  The game must go on.

         "Who won?"  I tease.

         "Nobody!  I didn't accept!"  Yugi looks righteously indignant.  I suppress a grin.  I bet Yami was pissed.

         "Anything else?"  I ask Téa, since Yugi is still aggrieved that I'd accuse him of skiing on his own perfectly healthy legs while I had one of mine in a traction.

         "That's about it," she says.  "They took you to the hospital.  We couldn't visit you until today, though.  But Ms. Freak called us several times to keep us updated on your progress."

         I think I missed something.  "Ms. Freak..."

         "She stayed with you at the hospital all night to make sure you were okay," Yugi informs me in a tone that tells me at-least-she-has-her-priorities-straight. "She called us every hour until almost midnight, and then she slept over at the hospital.  It wasn't until this morning, when your doctors finally convinced her you were fine, that she came back to the lodge."

         Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip.   Ms. Freak.  The woman I've lobbed insults at ever since she took the guidance counselor position at the beginning of the year.  Acted more like a parent to me last night than either of mine have for the past seven years.  I open my mouth to try to reply, but suddenly everything that comes to my mind seems highly ungrateful.

         Seeing as I can't answer, I look around for a diversion.  My eyes land on Bakura.  "But—the bunnies.  She didn't see the bunnies?"

         If anyone else finds this an odd tangent, apparently they just chalk it up to the drugs, 'cause it's not greeted with anything other than happiness from Bakura.  "Yes, but that's quite all right," he says.  "Coach Jones helped me rescue them—though he promises not to use them for his Biology II class." 

         Ehhe.  Almost forgot about that.  I think I need foot surgery now, seeing as mine has decided to take up permanent residence in my mouth.

         The nurse saves me by coming in to check my vitals.  When she sees all my guests, she says, "I'm sorry, Mr. Wheeler, hospital policy is only two visitors at a time."  Wow, you mean real hospitals actually have that rule?  I thought that was just a bad plot device.

         "Okay, I pick Yugi," I say, and Yugi's sudden cough sounds more like snort.  I look at the others.  "Sorry guys, but I gotta ask him something."

         "No problem. We have to get back before Ms. Freak knows we're gone, anyway," Tristan says.

         "Ya didn't get permission to come here?"  Not that it's any surprise he broke the rules.  I'm just curious why he had to in the first place.

         "Nah, we're supposed to be locked in our room together," Duke says.  "We sorta built a snowman of the principal right outside the lodge this morning."

         "And you got punished just for that?"

         Tristan shrugs.  "It was anatomically correct."

         The nurse redoubles her efforts in shooing them out the door.  "Meet you in the lobby," Yugi calls after them and then shuts the door.  He tilts his head as he looks at me.  "Is something wrong, Joey?"

         "Nah."  I shake my head.  "I mean, I don't think so.  I mean, you tell me.  I was just wonderin', and I didn't know how uncomfortable you'd be talkin' about it around the others, but—how are things with Yami?  Did he ever tell you what was wrong?"

         He's suddenly overcome by a fit of giggles, trances out again, and then just giggles some more.  "Oh!  That..."  He grins.  "No, you were right, actually, it was nothing.  Remember how I thought Bakura didn't come back in the room Wednesday night?  He did, after I was asleep.  So Yami and Yami Bakura did duel, but they were interrupted when Bakura woke up early.  Yami Bakura had higher life points at the time, so now he claims he won."

         "Well that's not fair," I say, but I'm grinning.  "Poor Yami.  Yami Bakura and Kaiba beat him twice in one day, huh?  That's gotta hurt."

         "He'll be okay," Yugi assures me.  "In fact, it's good for him to lose once in a while.  It's character building."  And with that statement, he's lost to me for the rest of the visit.  He jumps as if he's being rebuked by a voice only he can hear.  And then he starts talking back to it.  "But Yami..."  He cringes visibly.  "I know, but Yami..."  Another pause.  "Would you just listen for a minute?  Yami..."

         Heh.  I help myself to another chocolate and sign the delivery slip for another bouquet of flowers that comes while Yugi's arguing with himself.  I say goodbye as he leaves, and he waves back distractedly, apparently too involved in his 'discussion' to answer.  He's still muttering under his breath as he walks out the door.

~~~

         I take another dose and another nap after the others leave.  I'm still groggy but I'm starting to come out of it when I hear a voice from the direction of the door sayin', "Delivery for Joey Wheeler."

         "Again?"  I mumble, and then do a double take when I see who's standing there.  I grin. "What, you're a delivery man now, too?"

         Mai shakes her finger at me. "Delivery woman, hon.  And no, I just thought I'd personalize it.  Sorry I'm late, I had to wait until after lessons were over to come."  She walks over and sets a pot of violets on my nightstand, pushing the other bouquets aside so that hers is on the front row, but not blocking anything since they're twice as short as all the rest—kinda like Yugi on class picture day.

         "I didn't even know you were coming, so not a problem."  I raise the bed up. It's too high at first, and so I—think better of it and just leave it. 

         "How are you feeling?" she asks.

         There's that question again.  I can tell Mai the truth too, but then again I don't want her to think I'm a wimp.  So I give her the vague truth, which is the new lie.  "I've been better, but the docs are keepin' me pretty high on painkillers.  So I'm good."

         "Are you sure?"  she asks.  "You're not just lying to me to 'be a man about it'?"

         How'd she do that?  Must be that thing they call 'women's intuition' (to be used whenever 'heart of the cards' is not applicable).  Oh well.  I shrug.  "Yeah, I'm sure." 

         "Well, good."  She accepts my answer this time.  "In that case..." 

         And suddenly it's not so good when she yanks me by my flimsy hospital gown and pulls me halfway outta the bed, right up in her face.  Right, I've learned my lesson—next time I'll tell the truth.  Between the traction my leg's in and the vise grip she has on my shoulders, I'm folded in a 'V,' but twisted at the waist.  Not the most comfortable position in the world.  I'd comment, but that rabid look in her eyes scares me too much.

         "What in the world possessed you to do that?" she snarls at me.  "Taking on the expert slope after two lessons on the bunny slope?"

         "I...uh..."  She's still glaring at me. You know, they say duelists start to resemble their favorite duel monsters, and right now I'm feelin' it, because I'm in the claws of a harpy lady.  I gulp.  "Ya know, I never noticed how pretty your eyes were until I was close enough to count your eyelashes..."

         "Don't change the subject!"  Wow, she's not even blinking.  That's freaky.  Plus, she must be really mad to ignore a compliment.  Girl's so vain she brought a three-way mirror to Duelist Kingdom.  If she's not melting it's can only be because she cares more about me than her appearance—

         Aww.

         Still, it's not like she's showing it.  I have little confidence that whatever I say won't result in another broken bone.  I flounder under the pressure.  "Well, Seto was doing it..."

         Amazingly, she lets go, forcing me to fling myself backwards in order not to fall out of bed.  She gives me a strange look as I rub my head—I think I got whiplash.  "Since when did you start calling him 'Seto'?"

         Somewhere between the hard-on and the broken leg?  Huh.  I wasn't even aware of saying it.  I smile nervously.  "You'd be surprised at what can happen in a week."

         "Apparently."  She's still looking at me funny but she sits down, calmer.  Thank goodness.  Too much more of that and I was afraid she would have equipped herself with a rosewhip.  "I should have known.  You always do try to show off for all the girls—and Seto Kaiba."

         "Show him up, Mai."  I glare at her.  "There's a difference."

         She's grinning.  "Whatever."  She fiddles with one of the other bouquets on the night stand, reading the note like it's any of her business.  "Oo, a secret admirer?  I'm jealous," she teases.  At least I think she's teasing.

         "Admirers, plural—really?"

         "No."  She winks.  "Ski instructors get plenty of their own.  So, who do you think it's from?"

         Do I look like a psychic?  "If I knew, it wouldn't be a secret." 

         "There are ways of finding these things out," she tells me, and adopts her Cosmo voice  "Of course you could ask around, but if you want to be discrete, just pay a little more attention to your surroundings.  See if anyone's staring at you more than usual.  Wear something sexy, and see if it makes anyone blush or look away when they see you."

         As if I'm not always sexy.  I roll my eyes.  "Right.  I'll wear my best halter next time I see Seto."  Seto?  That really does slip out naturally.  Weird. 

         Mai notices too.  "You guys really are getting on together, huh?"  Excellent choice of words.

         I shrug.  "You could say that."

         And then it hits me.  So far I've had no one to talk to about everything going on with Kaiba.  After all, it's not like I can bring it up with Yugi—can you imagine his face?  "So, Yug, has your rivalry with Kaiba ever turned sexual?"  I'd be picking him up off the floor.  I might could talk to Tristan, if I could ever talk to him again without having to go through Duke first.  And Téa?  Not even.  Not that I think she'd freak.  Actually, I'm guessing she'd be the most likely to understand.  So understanding, in fact, that I wouldn't put it past her to try to "help us along" to demonstrate the Power of Friendship.  Not happening.

         But Mai?  Even apart from sounding like she wants to start her own advice column, she's an 'older woman'—she's got experience and all that jazz.  I won't escape from the teasing, but I think I can count on her not to interfere. Very independent-minded, Mai is.  And seeing as she's already been the most observant so far, it's not like it'll come as a total shock to her.  Though when I say everything goin' on—I don't really mean everything.  Just the gist of things.

         With my decision made, I try to figure out the most casual way to bring it up.  "So, Mai.  If you got so many admirers, tell me—how do you know if a guy likes ya?"

         Real casual.  As casual as a toga without the party.  She just starts blinking rapidly and I hastily improv, "Uh, Téa was askin' me earlier.  Trying to get a guy's opinion, ya know?  But she said I didn't help much—actually, she said I was 'as sensitive as a rock'—anyway, I was just wondering, what kinda signals am I supposed to be sending out?"

         Not bad for the spur of the moment.  But Mai's still giving me a funny look.  "She hasn't said anything to me about it."

         Darn, I forgot they were rooming together.  See, this is the problem with lies.  Ya tell one, ya just end up tellin' another, and then they build on each other until they all topple down like when me and Tristan built a milk-carton mansion during lunch and Bakura tripped into the table.  I'm learning so many valuable lessons today—but still trying to save face in front of Mai. 

         "She probably just feels uncomfortable asking you, with all your experience.  Though don't tell her I said that."  Please don't tell her I said that.  I think I'd have to go back to the operating room to have my head surgically removed from my ass.

         Mai looks thoughtful and apparently decides to answer.  "Well, it all depends on the guy of course.  I mean, just look at Kaiba.  He's so guarded that even if he did leave clues, an unperceptive person might never even know he likes him."  Why do I get the feeling I should be offended. 

         Besides—"Who said I was talking about Kaiba?"  I glare at her.

         "Just an example." She winks at me.  "But okay, if you're serious—it can be subtle, but he seems to treat you differently than everyone else."  Well, pretending this example was Kaiba—let's see, he condescends to practically everyone, though he does seem to reserve a special vitriol just for me.  Does that count?  "He may have a pet name for you."  This one's obvious, though I'm not buying the term of endearment excuse.  "And he does things for you that he'd do for no one else."

         Like what?  Look what he's done this week alone.  Punched me—well, okay, so he was kinda provoked.  Stolen my clothes—which was also sorta karma.  And I guess it could be interpreted as him giving me the honor of being the recipient of the only practical joke I've ever seen him play.  But still.  He's insulted me at every opportunity—er, except when he made a point of not calling me stupid when he figured out I have trouble reading. And then, of course, there's the fact that when I decided to play chicken with a mountain—and the mountain won—he didn't just leave me alone, but helped me...

         "You're right, I doubt he'd do that even for Yugi," Mai says.  What—damn!  How much of that did I say  out loud?!  "He'd probably say a true duelist should be able to get down the mountain on two broken legs, much less one." 

         "You're right about that."  I hastily agree with her while crossing my fingers under my blanket that's the only part of my internal monologue that she overheard.  I really should stop thinking with my mouth open.

         She grins at me and tousles my hair.  I won't tell her it hasn't been washed in two days.  "Well, I'd better let you rest some more.  Hey, I probably won't see you again before you go home, so call me, okay?"  She fishes a pen out of the front of her shirt—so that's what cleavage is for—and scribbles her number down on the card that went with her bouquet.  "Let me know how things go with Seto."  She winks at me again.

         "I will—" I say automatically, and then realize I should be indignant.  I correct myself.  "And what's that supposed to mean?!"

         "Oh, nothing."  She air kisses and waves.  "Bye now." 

         "But Mai...hey, Mai...!"

         She doesn't answer me, just walks out the door mumbling something about 'It's always the cute ones.'  Hm.  I wonder what she means by that.

~~~

         I take another nap.  The docs have got me on this weird drug that's givin' me funky dreams—I'm fighting aliens in hand to hand-combat, though I'm doin' pretty good for myself, knocking out thirty with my stun gun and pushing back the entire enemy line single-handedly.  Then I turn around and—argh!  A particularly ugly one right in my face!  I freak, but there's a sandbag right next to me.  I lunge at it, lift it over my head—ugh, you'd think I could dream it weighed less—and throw it as hard as I can at the creature.

         The alien just barely jumps back in time, and then it does something unexpected.  It picks the sandbag up as easy as can be and hands it back to me, sayin', "I'm sorry, Joseph.  I didn't mean to scare you."

         There are only two people in the world who call me Joseph.  One's my mom.  The other is—Ms. Freak.  I blink and realize the alien sun is actually fluorescent lighting.  I mistook my pillow for a sandbag, and Ms. Freak—

         Well, the alien analogy wasn't that far off.

         Waitasecond, Ms. Freak?  I ponder this as I plump my pillow.  I know the guys said that she'd been here, but only when I've been knocked out.  And yeah, that was really nice of her—really, really, nice in fact, enough to make me feel guilty for even a substandard insult—but I'm awake now, so why's she here?  Lookin' for a thank you?  An apology?   Or is she that anxious to tell me I've got detention for the rest of high school...

         ...Time to play dead.  "Um, that's okay..."  Followed by a loud, hacking cough.

         It seems to work—she blinks sadly at me with her big bug eyes.  "How are you feeling?"

         Like I said, I learned my lesson with Mai.  I will tell the truth—or at least go to the other extreme.  I cough some more.  "Well, to be honest, not so great, Ms. Freak."  And then a little shiver.  A sniffle.  And a dramatic sigh.

         She looks distressed.  "All that time in the snow couldn't be good for you.  Maybe you caught pneumonia!"

         Oh, that's a good one.  "You never know..." I say feebly.  I shiver again.  "Is it just me, or is it cold in here to you?"  It's so warm I'm almost sweating.  I'll blame the 'fever.'

         "I should call a doctor!" she says, eager to help, reaching for the phone.  "What if they missed something?"

         No, let's keep the professionals out of this.  I switch tactics, reaching out to clasp my hand over hers.  Waitasecond.  I'm holding Ms. Freak's hand.  I change my mind and clasp mine together virtuously, as if in prayer.

         "No, don't go to the trouble," I say.  "Actually, I think it's just...a draft."  We both look at the ceiling to see a total lack of vent, and then at the window to see it firmly closed.

         "I can get you an extra blanket," she offers.  I suddenly feel more affection for Ms. Freak than I ever have before.  Granted, it was nonexistent before, so it's not that hard.  Still.  She walks over to the door and flags a nurse down.  "Excuse me!  Excuse me!  Can we get a nice warm blanket in here?  This boy was out in the snow  yesterday," she informs her, as if I was defying death with every flake.  Ya know,  if she's got such issues with snow, why'd she take us on a skiing trip in the first place?

         But the nurse complies. The blanket ain't exactly warm, just a thin hospital regulation one, but that's a good thing as I'm hot enough already.  Ms. Freak tucks it around me almost tenderly.  I get in the weirdest situations, don't I. 

         "Is that better?" she asks.

         "I guess,"  I say, noncommittally, and she looks so disappointed I have to add, "Oh, now it's starting to heat me up—wow, yeah, it's great!  Thanks, Ms. Freak."

         She beams.  "Anything else you need, Joseph?"

         ...Only a fool would pass this opportunity up.  I kick my conscience to the curb.  "Well...I'm sorta thirsty, but..."

         "I'll be right back!"  She leaves and comes back with a cup of hot tea from the vending machine.  "How's this?"

         A guy could get used to this.  But I gotta stay 'cool' so I pretend ambivalence.  "Well, I prefer cocoa, but..."

         "All right then!"  She leaves again and I just blink at the tea that she set down on my nightstand, my hand still outstretched to take it.  She takes a lot longer to come back this time, but when she does, she's got a mug of cocoa topped with whipped cream.  "Here you go.  Are you hungry, too?"

         "I..."

         "Here, I got these from the cafeteria."  She gives me a stack of chocolate chip cookies and looks at me hopefully.  I have to appease.

         "Wow, Ms. Freak, how'd ya know I  like to lick whipped cream off my cookies?"

         ...Mind, meet gutter.  Gutter, mind.  But Ms. Freak's head is always up in the clouds anyway, so the innuendo completely flies over—or under—her head.  She just smiles and sits back expectantly.  After a minute I take the hint and take a sip of the cocoa.  It's too hot, burning my mouth.  My eyes water but I just smile and squeak out, "Great."

         Ms. Freak catches on.  "Is it too hot?" she asks.  And then—oh, no, don't even think about it—she starts tearing up as well.  C'mon, it's just cocoa.  I'm sure lots of people like theirs boiling.  I'm just not one of them.

         I try to rescue the situation.  "No, it's fine!  Mmm..."  I take some of the whipped cream off the top in an attempt to avoid the liquid.  I think she notices and it upsets her further. 

         "Don't lie to a teacher, Joseph."  A huge sniffle, but hers isn't faked.

         "Ms. Freak, it's great, see?"  I give in and take another scalding sip, but all I end up doing is burn my lower lip.  Meanwhile hers starts trembling.  Inspiration strikes me—"No, Ms. Freak, not too hot, just—too warm.  Yeah, that's it."  I smile at her encouragingly.

         It 's a lost cause.  "I knew it."  She's still sniffling.  This is so not good.  She stands up and walks over to the window.  "I can't do anything right!"  And now she's crying in earnest.

         Damn.  I hate it when girls cry.  I get all awkward and nervous and don't know what to say—even if it's Ms. Freak.  Especially if it's Ms. Freak, because teacher's aren't supposed to cry.  It's in their contract or something.  And they're also not supposed to admit they're clueless.  Sure, the entire school thinks she's an idiot, but how do you say that to her face?  Particularly when it's dripping (unbecomingly) with tears at the moment?

         Plus I'm at another disadvantage 'cause whenever girls cry, I get this manly compulsion to do something.  And so suddenly I've gone from taking of advantage of Ms. Freak's sympathy to tryin' to console her.  Life is so unfair.

         "Aw, come on Ms. Freak, that's not true..." I start. She gives a very un-ladylike snort and just cries harder.  She sounds like a drowning pig but looks like a drowned rat.  I never thought about quite how hard it must be to be her.

         After a long moment where she's weepy and I'm panicky she finally stops blubbering long enough to speak.  "Yeah, right."  But she's still obviously down to be using slang—usually she tries to 'set an example' for us in everything, including grammar.  "What about the pep rally I organized?"

         "What are you talking about?  That was fun!" I assure her.  And it isn't a total lie—it was unusual, yes, but still the talk of the student body for ages.  Besides, the janitors eventually got the paint off the ceiling.

         She looks down her nose at me, and succeeds fairly well in spite of the fact that it's still bright pink.  "Right.  And my stint as newspaper advisor?"

         I shrug.  "How were you to know Oh! Calcutta! wasn't a play about Mother Teresa's missionary work?  Besides, that review was really interesting."

         "The day I chose the school menu?" she asks pointedly.

         Okay, so that was bad.  "The school nurse did do a brisk trade in pepto bismal that day," I admit.  "But hey—look at this trip."

         "Yeah—"  There she goes again.  "—look at it.  It cost the school board almost a thousand dollars a student, and for what?  Fist fights, people cussing each other out, one broken leg—and that's just you and Kaiba," she points out.  Wow.  Ms. Freak does sarcasm.  She's scaring me here.  "When I go back I'll have to give a report on if the 'experiment' was successful or not.  And what do you think I'll have to say?"

         Oh dear.  She's lost her bitter face and is tearing up again.  I liked her better snarky.  I hand her a box of tissues and hastily try to reassure her.  "What are you talking about, Ms. Freak?  Lots of good things have happened on this trip!"

         "Like what?"  She blows her nose loudly and I resist the urge to make a face.

         "Like...like..."  No wonder she's skeptical—I have to think about it.  "Like Kaiba and Yugi.  Yugi's grandpa may start carrying Kaiba's duel disks in his shop.  Know how it happened?  Yugi and Kaiba talked about it on the bus, and then Yugi called his grandpa to negotiate a meeting.  That might never have happened were it not for this trip."

         It doesn't look like a business deal is enough to redeem the whole trip, but at least I've piqued her interest.  Her sniffle is smaller.  "Really?"

         "Sure," I say.  "And...and..."  I glance around and see the funeral wreath from Duke.  "And Duke and Tristan!  They were always at each other's throats before this trip."  And now I wouldn't be surprised if their tongues were in each other's throats.  Ew.  Scrubbing that image from my mind now...

         But at least they were good for something—Ms. Freak is looking at me more hopefully.  "And now they're getting along?"

         "Oh, yeah," I nod enthusiastically.  "Only a girl could come between them now!"

         Ms. Freak doesn't look like she's going to drown in her own tears and drag me down with her any more, but she's still looking at me to throw another life preserver.  What more can I say?—Ah.  This is pure inspiration.

         "The bunnies, Ms. Freak."  I look at her dolefully.  "Did Bakura tell you about the bunnies?"  Her eyes widen in recognition.  I continue to speak in a soft, slow voice, so she has to lean forward to hear my every word.  "Think about it, Ms. Freak.  If we hadn't come on this trip, who knows what may have happened to them.  But we did, and now six baby bunnies are safe.  All because of you."

         Ms. Freak is blushing.  She giggles, embarrassed, as she twirls a piece of the friz she calls hair around her finger, looking alternately at the floor and the ceiling.  "We...I am glad the bunnies are safe."

         My job here is done.  "Exactly."  I nod in approval.  And then I'm weirded out when she recovers her composure and gives me this intense stare.  Her huge glasses magnify her pupils to twice their size.  It's freaky, if you'll pardon the pun.

         "And what about you, Joseph?" she asks in her teacher-voice.  Tell me why I wanted her to be herself again?  "You have a broken leg.  How has this trip helped you?"

         I—err.  I stutter a moment. "Well, you know, me an' Seto..."  She continues to look at me like  my final grade depends on me explaining the intricacies of me and Kaiba's relationship.  I get the resigned feeling I'm about to flunk yet another subject.  "We didn't get exactly along so well before this trip.  And now—"  She looks at me eagerly as I pause in thought. 

         "We still don't get along so well," I have to admit.  Ms. Freak's shoulders visibly droop.

         "So rooming together with a member of your class that you would not normally interact with socially hasn't influenced your understanding of or altered your behavior toward him?" she asks, disappointed.  I would be too if I knew all those words for nothing.

         I takes me a second to digest all.  "Oh!  Well, if you put it that way...nah, I wouldn't say that."  True in more ways than one.  She talks like a psychology text.

         "What would you say, then?" she asks me. 

         I have plenty of words for Seto, but I have to consider my company.  After a moment I just start pullin' explanations from my butt.  "It's like—he has responsibilities toward his little brother.  I have my little sister.  So we've got that in common."  Ms. Freak actually looks pleased with that generality, so I give her more.  "And he has to run a company, so he doesn't have a lot of time for fun.  So it almost makes sense for him to be a hard-ass—sorry," I quickly apologize at her blink.  I lay it on thick to make up for it.  "And you know, I have to work to go to school, so I know what it feels like to have to work to support something you love."  I nod vigorously but she still gives me a suspicious look.  Though she lets it pass.

         "So you're saying your relationship has changed?" she asks.

         Naw, we're only wrestling each other naked now.  But it's not like I can tell her that.  I try to think of something else and finally wilt under her stare.   "Oh, I don't know."  I shrug in an I-surrender manner.  "Kaiba has issues.  His issues have issues.  It'll take longer than a week to clear those up.  But it's not so much that we've changed that we've realized we could, you know?  And that's further along than I ever thought we'd be."

         I expected Ms. Freak to look crushed, but she instead she seems ridiculously happy with that statement.  "That's a very mature analysis, Joseph," she says.  It is?  "I know exactly what you mean.  And thank you.  That helps a lot."  It does? 

         But hey, if it works for her—"Aw, it was nothing."  I give her my goofiest grin and she smiles back.  And thankfully, stands up to go.

          "You're a very special student, Joseph."  She leans over and pats me on the hand—oh geez, she's holding my hand again.  My smile becomes fixed, and she mistakes it for bashfulness.  "You are!  Don't hesitate to come to my office if you ever need to talk."

         Right, we'll have a regular ole' tea party.  "Sure."

         "I'll be going now.  You take care of yourself...oh, what's this?"  She opens the door only to find another batch of flowers and an envelope on the floor.  Ya know, it's not that I don't appreciate the thought, but I'm going to have nightmares that I'm drowning in pollen.

         She carries it over me since I'm sorta confined to the bed.  "Here you go."

         "Thanks, Ms. Freak," I say.  I look at the card as she turns back around to go.  I can tell they're from a kid in second period, but that's about it.  It's Ross—or maybe Rose—both are in that class.  Rose.  I'm pretty sure it's Rose.  I sigh and blame the drugs.  And then I realize something. 

         I—don't particularly want to do this.  I mean, it's one thing to talk to Ms. Freak when you have to, but going to her voluntarily?  Ya really do need help then, but not the kind she can give.  Ironic then, that I think she may be the only one who can help me.  Or at least the only one willing to listen.

         I make a split-second decision as she's almost out the door.  "Ms. Freak?" I call out.  She turns around.  I shift awkwardly.  "There was something else, something Kaiba helped me figure out.  It's just..."  I take a deep breath.  Might as well go all out, it'll make her happy.  "Can you...help me?"

         She looks surprised.  It may be the first time a student's ever asked her that.  "Of course, Joseph."  She walks back into the room and sits down.

         Now that I've started this, I'm nervous.  "Um, is there a sort of thing called student-teacher confidentiality, you know, like lawyers?  You won't talk to anyone about this?"

         "Absolutely."  And then she looks worried and starts qualifying rapidly.  "Although I'm obligated by the state to report it if you're being hurt or abused in anyway.  However, I can assure you, it's in your best interests and I'll make sure nothing bad will happen..."

         "Relax, it's not that."  Not that in the least.  I'm just...scared of the chance to stop making excuses.  Funny how that is.  "It's just—something I don't want any of my friends to know about."

         "I promise you I will not betray your confidence," she tells me.

         I take another deep breath and ask my question.

~~~

         I fall asleep yet again after Ms. Freak and I talk—a real talk, a serious talk, a talk that makes me think she might be a real professional for the very first time.  Which is pretty amazing in itself, but anyway, I wake up only when another delivery person comes to my door.  He—

         I squint, but this time it's in disbelief.  The guy looks miserable.   Though I guess I would too if I was dressed up like an upright chocolate Labrador.  I feel a deep sense of empathy for him.  Though for the first time I have to admit I think I got off easy—at least I didn't have to wear an apron emblazoned with the words "Sir Pants-a-Lot."

         "Delivery from Pet Market for Joseph Wheeler," he says in an unhappy voice, gesturing to a basket of something that he's holding in his hand.  I try to peek, but the angle's too awkward.

         "Sit—uh, I mean set it right here."  I point at the little dinner tray over my bed, as it's the only thing not covered in flowers right now.

         The lab walks over to comply.  But as he hands me the basket, he asks me, "Mind if I ask if you have a dog?"

         "What?  No, Tristan does, but..."  I look at the contents.  Dog biscuits.  Flea powder.  Squeak toys.  A collar and leash. 

         An involuntary guttural noise comes out of my throat.  It's either a groan or a death gurgle.  No, don't tell me—

         He tells me.  "Oh.  It's just that—we don't usually do deliveries, but this guy called us anonymously and told my manager he'd pay both him and me a hundred dollars if I dressed up like this and delivered a basket of treats to—" and now he's reading off the card—"'One Sick Puppy.'"

         Seto.  Is.  Going.  To.  Die.

TBC...

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Author's notes: Joey dreaming of donuts came from dub episode 28 ("The Night Before") if anyone noticed.  Also, if anyone needs to know what Oh! Calcutta! is—the main reason I chose it was because it was a play performed in the nude.  When I was in high school, the April Fool's edition of our newspaper always had a headline that the theater department had chosen it for our spring play.  XD

I think everyone's figured it out if you've made it this far, but Joey's slang and most of his ungrammaticality is intentional.   However if you see something that you think is a typo, feel free to point it out—don't feel obligated, but do feel welcome.  I promise not to spaz over a spelling error. ^ _~

Thanks to everyone who reviewed since the last update!  Personal review replies are now up at the end of the previous chapter (Day Five).  I've gotten lots of support (and vows of patience) on the last chapter and I can't tell you how much appreciate it.  Sorry about the long wait—I plan to update within the same season next time.  *-_-*;;   And Kaiba will reappear in the next chapter, though he did have a sorta cameo in this one, see?  Anyway, thanks again!

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