A/N: The next day. Birds are chirping in the air and a beautiful morning descends onto Hogwarts.
My dear friend Godric,
I hope you are awake. I really need your help! Salazar missed his morning class today and the students came to me after he had been absent for a good full hour! Salazar never misses his classes and thus I found it most unusual so I went up to his room to check on him. He wasn't there! And by the looks of his bed, he had not slept there that night either! He is missing Godric! I have searched for him everywhere! But I cannot find him! I asked around but none of the students have seen him since last night. I even went down to Hogsmeade but no one had seen him recently! What if… what if something has happened to him? What if, for some reason he entered the Dark Forest? Or the lake? Or… or… Do you think Veelas have kidnapped him? Oh no! Those brazen tramps have acquired him to procreate their indecent race! I knew they could not be trusted! Rowena beating their leader in that silly mud wrestling contest over Slytherin was all show! They dishonored their vow! We must rescue him! Please Godric! I am beside myself with worry!
Helga
To Helga,
Gods Helga, please look at the time before sending me a Holler. This is why I only teach afternoon classes, well after the sun has climbed up the sky. Uh, before you get all up in arms, can I ask a quick question: Have you checked Rowena's room?
Godric
To Godric,
No I have not. Why? Oh! Do you think the Veelas caught her as well? As revenge for defeating their leader? Or… to make her their leader? Actually if I think about it, I have not seen Rowena all morning either. Oh! Should I go check?
Helga
Dearest Helga,
Oh no no no no. Let me go check. You uh, go check his room again.
Godric
Some time later...
To my friend Godric,
Oh! I have checked his room again but he has not returned! And those horrible snakes that clutter his dank pit also did nothing but hamper my search. Luckily for me, Kiki was on hand to nip them back. He is such a good little badger! No, no. I did not find Slytherin. What of you? Any luck?
Helga
My dear Helga,
Oh yes! I've had luck in finding our resident snake-tongue. And it seams that dear ol' Slytherin has been lucky too. VERY lucky I might add. Hehe.
Godric
Helga!
Whatever Godric tells you do not listen to him! Do not! He exaggerates! Do not listen! We did not do what he claimed! Though our sleeping positions were rather compromising… but I did not sleep with Salazar! Well, we did sleep but not 'sleep' sleep. We… we just kissed… a lot… well perhaps more… Anyway do not listen to him!
Rowena
GODRIC!
I know this letter will reach you first! Don't you dare tell anyone of what you saw! And give me back my shirt!
S.S
My friend Rowena,
You kissed Salazar Slytherin? What? I demand an explanation young lady! I will not tolerate such brazen behavior in these halls. This is a school, not a shack of love! What would your father say?
Helga
Dear diary,
Hogwarts is probably the strangest place ever. I was enjoying a break from classes since Master Hufflepuff had cancelled our morning session when this strange brownish-red dog bounded by me at an astonishing speed. And I swear that creature winked at me. But what was stranger was that it had a silver shirt with green trimmings in its maw and those colours could only mean one person. Sure enough, Master Slytherin ran by later – completely shirtless – Diagon promptly fainted and all the other girls started swooning foolishly. Can you believe that? Honestly. He is a teacher! You do not swoon over teachers! We should be concentrating on our studies instead. Girls!
Quinton
Dear Helga,
It was a moment of weakness, I swear to you my dearest friend! It was his eyes, those beautiful, shimmering orbs of forest green. I was already an emotional mess when he came, thus when the first words that came from his luscious, highly kissable mouth were "I am sorry" I was so utterly crushed! I knew for certain that he had rejected me and I could not hold back the tears. You do not know how long I have loved him Helga. And to hear those words, I could not bear it. So I cried, and I know you have chided me that tears cannot solve a problem but there was nothing else I knew to do.
And… and then I was in his arms and his breath was against my neck. And he told me that I was being a silly duck and he was apologizing for being late and ooh, I wanted to argue back at him and tell him I was not silly. But then I saw his eyes and he said I was beautiful. And I think my brain stopped right there because I said something like 'Two drops of Saffron mixed with Toad Spittle.' Or at least that is what I would have said if his lips had not pressed into mine at 'Two.' Oh and I don't really understand what happened next but I picked him up and flung him into my bed. I was so… so… energetic. So alive! Then I said that no female shall ever have him (rather forcefully, I will admit). But see? A moment of weakness!
Rowena
P.S. I would infer that my father would take me aside and tell me some highly ambiguous and abstract story concerning birds and bees. I overheard this story once when my brother was caught in a similar situation with one of the maids. I still do not really understand the story, but I think it is about how birds and bees spontaneously explode when exposed to water?
Dear diary,
I was doing some extra reading in the Tower after Master Slytherin's class got cancelled when something crashed into the room at full speed. When I turned around I found Master Gryffindor slamming the door shut and casting some transfiguration spell on it before bending over to chuckle hysterically. His robes were askew, his hat lopsided, and for whatever unfathomable reason, Master Gryffindor had a shirt in his mouth. I then heard Master Slytherin's voice echoing from below the Tower and looked up to find Master Gryffindor grabbing a quill and furiously scribbling something, all the while giggling like he had found some secret stash of cookies.
He was still panting hard when I heard a spell rebound of the Tower door, followed by Master Slytherin's strange cursing (I think it was in Parseltongue). Master Gryffindor then turned to me, and there was this wild look in his amber eyes. He shoved a letter addressed to Master Hufflepuff in my hands and requested the aid of Fawkes to send it. And then he ran back to the door and started counter-casting whatever spell Master Slytherin was doing. It was all very odd. But I called Fawkes down to roost on my shoulder and gave the letter to him. I also decided to grab his leg and fly out with him because I do not think I want to be around when Master Slytherin gets that door open. Poor Master Slytherin. He must really want his shirt back badly.
Evan D.
Dear Rowena,
Ugh! I did not want some romantic retelling of your encounter with Slytherin! Please remember that we are trying to run a school here. It is bad enough with all the adolescent hormones running amok without you two adding to the mess. Remember too that male Muggles are very particular over pre-nuptials interactions! If you do not curb such behavior Rowena, no Muggle would ever want to marry you. I will admit that Salazar has... some redeemable qualities but we both know how stubborn he is about magic. He'd rather stay in Hogwarts till he's old and grey rather than resign to family life in Muggle fashion. Poor thing is so adamant about maintaining the Old Ways. He will never give up magic Rowena, he will never take the Potion. You know that.
Helga
Rowena?
Oh, why have you not replied? I have to apologize for my last letter! I must have sounded so negative. Slytherin always tells me I speak too plainly. I am sure he will take the Potion. I am so sorry Ro.
Helga
My dearest friend Helga,
No, do not trouble yourself dear friend. I was late in replying to your last letter because I had to aid my love Salazar in... opening a door, and the events thereafter. Please Helga, your sincerity is what makes you special, never lose that. And as for the Potion, Salazar and I did talk about it in great lengths last night. You were right, he would not take it. But he seems to believe that no witch or wizard should need to take it either. He thinks that we could maintain a separate all-wizarding community of our own, just like Hogwarts but scattered all around, with some right within the heart of Muggle civilization. Ah, Salazar and his ambitious dreams. I would have scoffed him sooner if not for Hogwarts. This was his crazy dream, a dream almost everyone thought would fail. It hasn't so far. I cannot help but be inspired by him, and his shinny hair. sigh
Rowena Ravenclaw/ Lady Slytherin? How does that sound Helga?
P.S. Godric 'accidentally' hexed himself into a slug spitting, banana-wielding monkey that itches constantly. He is currently in the Healer's Wing. Please look at him.
My friend Rowena,
Oh your letter gladdens my heart. We should discuss this more over lunch. And Godric has hurt himself again? How many ways can that wizard contrive? I so pity the woman who marries that thrill seeking man.
Helga Hufflepuff (Rowena, it is just a first kiss. Stop getting ideas)
My love Rowena,
I have deposited the banana-wielding creature to Helga and she is now performing counter-hexing spells on him. Perhaps now we can return to our engagements before being so rudely interrupted?
Yours forever,
Salazar
My darling Salazar,
Alas, I have a Latin and History class in but a few minutes! Never have I suddenly dreaded the long hours that class consumes. But education must be foremost and I must wait those four hours before I can be in your wonderful arms again my love.
Eternally yours,
Rowena
My exquisite Ravenclaw,
I am sure you are not the only one who dreads that class. Actually, you can be in my arms a lot sooner for there are still those minutes before class starts, am I correct? Let us fly now!
Your humble serpent,
Salazar
My love, now? Oh but is there enough time? I am already walking to the library.
Yours completely,
Rowena
Yes my rather aggressive love! To the broom closet!
Oh, you are so daring! I will be there! (A picture of a heart)
Dear diary,
I was late for Master Ravenclaw's Latin and History class so I was taking a shortcut through the field. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life! I saw the broom closet shudder! Then I heard a woman laughing from inside! A woman's voice! I could have only been one thing! It's the Boy Eating Banshee! The one that only preys on boys with dusty freckled brown hair! NOOOOOOOOOO! I ran away as fast as I could but no one can escape the Boy Eating Banshee! Morgana said so. NOOOOOO! I want Master Hufflepuff!
Nimbus
REVIEW:D