Open Wide

Season: anytime Spoilers: Some info from season 1 and "Window of Opportunity", probably stuff you already know anyway. Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate. Sad but true.

Hey everyone! This little ficlette was inspired by my own trip to the dentist yesterday - not as scary as I thought it would be. Hope you enjoy!

Anything within "~" is Jack mumbling as the dentist works on him. Anything within "*" is Jack's thoughts.

*

"Okay," Jack grumbled to himself as he drummed his hands against the steering wheel of his truck. "Let's get this over with. You'd think a colonel working for a top secret government project wouldn't have to worry about such frivolous things like cavities and fillings!"

Jack walked the short distance to the front door releasing a deep breath as he went inside.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill. I have an appointment for 4:00."

"Of course, Colonel, Dr. Johnson will be with you in one moment."

The Colonel took a seat, smiled at his fellow 'inmates', and picked up a "Reader's Digest". He flipped through the pages, not really paying attention to what they said. He wasn't really afraid or anything, just wanted to get it over with. Yeah, that was all.

"Colonel O'Neill? Dr. Johnson will see you now. I'll take you back."

Jack followed her into a small room. The chair in the center took up most of the space. He sat down and put his feet up as the dental assistant fastened a bib around his neck. He wiggled a little in the chair finding a comfy spot.

*This isn't so bad. I wonder if I could convince Hammond to let me put one of these in my office.*

As he laid back and relaxed, he began listening to the music playing on the radio that sounded throughout the building.

*What is that, the YMCA song? I haven't heard that in years. Must be the oldies station.*

"Colonel O'Neill, how nice to see you again. How are you today? I was beginning to wonder when you had to reschedule four times for this visit."

"Oh well, you know, work's been keeping me pretty busy these past few weeks."

"Well the important thing is that you're here now. Once we get that tooth taken care of, you won't have to come back for another six months. Shall we get started?"

Jack nodded his consent then leaned back attempting to let his mind wander with the aid of the comfy chair and pleasant music. Not to happen.

He got through the freezing just fine, Dr. Fraiser's frequent needles making him immune to the little prick, but as the dentist began drilling . . .

"So works been busy, huh?"

*Okay, my mouth is stretched as far as it will go with multiple things sticking out of it, and he expects an answer? Oh well, I suppose a grunt will do.*

~Oh yeah.~

"I suppose being a colonel must mean you have a lot of responsibilities."

~Oh it's not so bad.~

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

~I said, 'It's not so bad'.~ *I swear if that drill slips a millimeter . . . *

"So what is it you actually do?"

*I don't believe this!*

~Well, I work with deep space radar telemetry. Not much to it really.~

"You work with a telephone company? I didn't know the airforce was involved with the telephone company! How interesting!"

Dr. Johnson finished the drilling, getting ready to put in the filling. Jack thought he should correct the man.

"Um, I actually said I work with deep space radar telemetry for the airforce."

"Oh, goodness! Sorry about that. Can't hear a thing over that drill. Now, just a few more minutes and you'll be all done. And with that, Jack's mouth was stretched to its fullest once more.

"So you were telling me about this deep space radar telemetry. Sounds very important."

~Oh well, no big deal really. Mostly research and experiments.~

"Spearmints?"

~Experiments!~ *Will the man never stop!*

"Oh, you must enjoy science very much then."

Jack was fed up. *For crying out loud!*

~Actually, I work at Cheyenne Mountain with the Stargate program. Three other people and I make up a group called SG1. We travel to other worlds through a big honkin' circle that makes wormholes. My first time through the gate I went with a guy named Daniel. He stayed on the planet with his wife who he only met a few days earlier. We told everyone that he was dead so they would leave him alone. Then two years later we went to the planet again, fought off a bunch of nasty Goulds, Daniel's wife was captured so he came back with us. Teal'c is an alien we met on that planet. He was the first prime of Apophis, but he had a change of heart, so now he fights with us. He has a snake in his stomach and a gold symbol on his head. Oh, and we call him Murray when we're outside the mountain. Then there's Samantha Carter. She's my second-in-command. Very brilliant, gorgeous to boot. I'm madly in love with her, but the regulations keep us apart. I did kiss her when I was stuck in a time loop. In front of the general no less! Yeah, we've had some interesting adventures, my team and I. And we've met some pretty neat-O aliens. You'd like the Asgaurd. They're little grey guys with really cool technology. The Nox are pretty nice too. They brought me back to life once. Oh, and don't worry, we kept Apophis's ships from completely annihilating earth. Close call though. Kind of makes you think about what really matters in life. You know, I . . . ~

"Well, ah Colonel, we're all done here. Um, ahem."

"Hey Doc, you okay? You look a little funny."

"Oh no, I'm just fine. Uh, remember to make an appointment for your next cleaning on your way out."

"Will do."

"Wait, Colonel. What were you telling me about your work? I didn't make a lot of it out."

"Oh, nothing much really. I was just telling you about where I work, the people I work with. Daniel does research, Carter does some experiments, Murray gives them some extra help when they need it. I just supervise really. Make sure everyone keeps out of trouble. You know scientists, they can get pretty impassioned with their work! Wouldn't want them blowing anything up if you know what I mean."

"Oh, of course. Have a good day!" Dr. Johnson practically shoved him out the door.

*I wonder what that was all about? Oh well, back to the base.*

* * *

"Dr. Johnson? Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet the last hour or so."

"Oh nothing, Betty. Just getting old I guess. I need to get my hearing checked. Or maybe my mental health!"

Dr. Johnson left for home a little earlier than usual that day. He was just a little tired, that was all. He just needed a good sleep. That would do the trick. He shook his head and sighed as he stood up to leave.

"Stargates? Little grey aliens? Destroying earth?! Nah, couldn't be!"

* * *

Well, there we are. Hope you enjoyed! Please review!