Disclaimer-I don't own Passions or the song
Last Words
Dearest family,
I am writing this to you in order for you to fully comprehend what I have been trying, and failing, to say for all these years.
This is not easy for me, and I'm sure it's not easy for you, but the facility of it is not important.
There is only so much pain a person can go through before they decided that it's over.
First of all, Ivy Winthrop. I will make no pleasant lies. I hate you. I cannot stand you with your happy home-wrecker attitude. You have no shame with throwing a monkey wrench into a happy family. That is the difference between you and I. No matter what anyone says, I will always regret my decision. You, on the other hand, don't and never will, and for that I despise you. Well, I'm sure my opinion never mattered to you, anyway.
Jessica and Noah Bennett, I am sorry I have not been there for you as much as you would have liked. All our problems put you in the backseat, and for that, I am truly sorry. Never forget that Mommy loves you.
John Hastings, that goes for you as well. I'm sorry I was never there for you growing up. Maybe if I didn't have amnesia, things would have been different. Mommy loves you, too.
Maria Bennett-Lopez-Fitzgerald, premature or no, you are a beautiful girl, a perfect granddaughter, a little angel. I'm sorry I never had the chance to hold you in my arms, or sing you the lullaby I used to sing to your mother and Jessica. Perhaps your mother will take mercy and sing it to you. Granny loves you, sweetheart.
Charity Standish, I want to thank you for always being a friend to me. You have been more like my daughter than my niece. You were an angel to me through thick and thin. I thank you, and I love you.
David Hastings, I love you. You are my first husband and for that, I love you. But, I'm sorry. I may love you, but someones else holds my heart on a higher level. Once again, perhaps if I didn't have amnesia, things would have been different.
Sam Bennett. You are the one I have loved. For over 20 years we have been together. I love you more than I could love any other man, even David. My leaving had nothing to do with not loving you. I had to do with how much I could take. I realize that was selfish and I apologize for it. Know that I'll love you forever.
And finally, Kay Bennett. I know that you have hated me. I never covered myself with happy illusions. I have kept fighting, trying to win back your love and trust. My darling, can't you see how horrible you and Miguel would be together? He doesn't love you, at least, not the way you love him. You can't force your feelings on him. A one-sided love is not fair to either party. You would only hurt yourself and Miguel, Kay. I want you to be happy, despite what you think. And Miguel would not make you happy.
Well, you must think I'm hypocritical. I have caused pain. But hopefully, this letter will make my amends.
By the time you finish this letter I will be gone.
I have kept this secret for a long time now. Only Eve and I know of it. I have had lung cancer, irrevocable lung cancer, for a year now. I could not tell you with everything that has been happening. It would have been too much to bear.
I am sorry I never told you.
The cancer has reached the point of no return. I have fought it well, and covered it well, telling myself that I must hold out for you, must be strong for you, must never let it show. There is precious little time left, and I have spent it writing this letter.
I am in the attic of the B&B, if you choose to search for my body and give me a burial.
I wish you all happiness in life, even you, Ivy. My soul is going, and all I can do is hope for the best for you.
I love you all.
-Grace
"We found this letter in our mail box. True to her word, she was in the attic at the B&B when we found her," Kay said. She was giving Grace's eulogy at St. Margaret Mary's. "I had no idea that she was dying. Maybe I would not have been so hard on her had I known. I suppose she was right—Miguel would not have made me happy."
She looked at the third pew, where Miguel and Charity sat with Maria. Seeing them together hurt, but not as much as the hurt of Grace's passing.
"So, I wish the two of them best of luck." She scanned the church again, and her eyes laid to rest on Sam. Ivy was trying to comfort him, or at least, what she passed for comfort.
"And I would like to say: Ivy Winthrop, get your paws of my father before I cut them off."
Ivy yanked her hands backed and stared at the pulpit where Kay stood.
"Mom was right, you have no shame. You have no right to be here. I will not throw you out of a house of God, but kindly refrain from touching my father while you're here."
Ivy glared at Kay, who glared right back.
"We have all been shameless. For that we ask her forgiveness." She paused. "We had no idea of the suffering she went through, I least of all. It pains me to admit it, but…I have been selfish. I will make it clear. I have loved Miguel since childhood, but he does not love me. I used Grace as an excuse for his lack of love towards me. I'm sorry for that, Mom. I know I've been bad. You're not here to smack my hand and reprimand me…and then dry my tears and hug me…and tell me you forgive me…"
For a moment she thought she couldn't go on. Then, she cleared her throat and regained her composure.
"Her last request was that I take mercy and sing Maria the lullaby she used to sing me. Miguel, please bring me Maria."
Miguel patted Charity's hand, then stood, Maria in his arms.
Kay met him halfway and took the baby.
"Thank you, Kay," Miguel said.
"No problem." Kay took Maria from Miguel and walked away.
That would have killed her not so long ago. Now, he was barely a memory.
Kay walked towards the casket where Grace lay. The woman was dressed in her favorite green blouse and black skirt. Her hands were folded across her stomach, and her face was serene.
"This one's for you, Mom."
April roses, tiny sparrows, comets bright and new
All belong together to the mystery that is you
When I see your little face, I hear a song from long ago
I think you know the many secrets I've forgotten
Generations through the ages joined as one somehow
Leading to the miracle that I am holding now
From the sky and from the sea
Upon a breeze, you came to me
You seem to see a greater universe than I do
Sleep, my baby, sleep, my baby
Dream of somewhere far away
Do you remember still?
How I hope you always will
Do you remember when the world was mine?
Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she sang. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, just like a child. Just like the little Kay that Grace had sung to.
"I swear on her grave that I will sing this to Maria every day until she doesn't need it. Apparently I still need it."
As tears fell down her cheeks, an invisible hand wiped them away.
"Sleep my baby, sleep my baby," a soft voice, not Kay's nor anyone's she could see voice. "Dream of somewhere far away. Do you remember still? How I hope you always will. Do you remember when the world was mine?"
"I remember," Kay whispered.
She felt a kiss on her forehead. "Then you don't need me." She felt someone squeeze her hand.
And then the voice, the hand…was gone.