The scouts who had found the passage had only gone in part way. As demonstrated before, it was not an entirely forgotten entrance, but it was somewhat obscure and difficult to find, and as it was so far away from the main centers of the kingdom, it was rather unnecessary to have any guards-men watching right at the entrance. Which is why the scouts felt it was safe. They figured it could only go on for a short while, they'd launch a surprise attack on the Elves, and the ones who rushed up to fight would be surprised be even more Uruk-hai.

Not only had the not counted on the tunnel being so ridiculously long, and hadn't assumed there would be any guards in the passage at all, but they had not counted on being caught. Never having had dealings with Elves before, most were unaware of how keen their senses of smell or hearing really were. The Elves in the corridor had heard the Elves coming for about thirty minutes before they actually arrived, so they were well prepared. Uruks aren't not exactly quiet when the run, and large tunnels have a tendency to echo. The Elves weren't expecting a second attack, but were again able to hear the Uruk-hai from so far away that they had plenty of warning.

Shagrat and Ugrot were part of this second wave. Their party at least had the good sense to expect an attack. In fact, two or so hours after the first party disappeared into the caves, they Uruk-hai in the second group began to wonder what became of the rest of their group. When it became clear that either their was trouble or the tunnels went on much longer than expected, they figured they should go in after them as back up.

Sure enough, at the same corridor the guard was watching the first time, the Elves launched attack. But there were fewer of them this time, since they had been split apart from their original group, and the Uruk-hai had drawn their own bows once they'd seen the light. Three Elves were killed nearly immediately, and about half a dozen were killed of the Uruk-hai.

The remaining three Elves could not expect to surround the ten or so Uruk-hai, so they shot back and forth at each other until only Ugrot, Shagrat, and one other Uruk remained along with two of the Elves. At this point, more Elves began to arrive, seemingly out of nowhere. Some from behind the Uruk-hai, some from the lighted corridor, and others from in front. Word had gotten out by this point and the back-up was just in time.

It was so highly unusual for so many Uruk-hai to set foot in the Elven kingdom that these three were captured and taken to the dungeons as well. Targash may be been an easy prisoner to deal with, but his friends were not. They have to be wrestled to the ground and tied up with strong Elven ropes, machetes and weaponry had to be pried out of their dirty hands. They then had to be dragged with much force the entire way, which made the journey considerably longer than Targash's had taken. Unfortunately for the Elven guards, these were typical Uruk-hai and refused to go quietly. They would have rather been killed than dragged along by the Elves, but the fact of the matter was that the Elves had absolutely no intention of killing any of them, at least not at the moment. Each of the three Elves was subsequently taken to similar, but completely separate and solitary dungeons.

------8-

Alone in his cell, Ugrot was volatile. He trashed about, roaring and yelling and managing to cause a significant amount of noise. He could be heard well outside the dungeon, though this had more to do with keen Elven senses than shoddy craftsmanship of the dungeon walls. Part of his frustration, it appeared, was due to the fact that he assumed Targash dead.

Shagrat was slightly more dignified, standing up straight whenever anyone entered the hall where his cell was. He didn't make a single sound and ignored the bits of bread that were brought to him.

The third Uruk-hai threatened and verbally abused every guard that came in for one reason or another.

Targash, who had been alone the longest, sat on the ground, agonizing over his confusion about Legolas and Ugrot. He had know idea where Ugrot could be, but assumed the rest of the troop bailed out and went elsewhere. He figured he was probably alone. He also spent a great deal of time pondering about this new Elf that had caught his eye earlier. Just what was that strange look on his face?

King Thranduil had been notified of the goings on and had requested that each Uruk be held and questioned separately. Why were they there? What was the motive? How had they gotten so far? Were there others on the way?

The biggest issue was that Uruk-hai are not typically cooperative and will willingly take any amount of torture over revealing their Dark Lord's plans- if they had been informed of them at all. The tactic might have to be a little bit different. Normally Thranduil would be quiet content to let the contents of his dungeons rot until they came forward with information, but it seemed time was of the essence here and that it would be best to try and find out if more of Mordor's spawn was on the way. He consulted with the guards who had witnessed the attacks, and consulted with the prison guards as to how each captor was responding.

Meanwhile, the Elf that was giving Targash the eye was taking it easy in one of the above-ground courtyards, wondering just what was the problem with the Uruk who stormed Mirkwood but was easily led into his cell. Strange, but somehow very intriguing. He'd spent years in the guard, and nothing like that had ever occurred. Bored with his job and feeling slightly adventurous, he started to concoct a plan.

At the same time, Thranduil decided that the prisoners could wait until morning to be questioned.

----8-

Later that evening, the Mirkwood Elves were talking endlessly about the security breach. Unusual as it was, general consensus was that the Uruk-hai would probably not try that again, and that added guardsmen by the entrances should help prevent any future attacks. Regular nightly singing and feasting went on basically as usual.

Night time is rather the perfect time for people to sneak about in Mirkwood, because it's the time when Elves are jovial and rather silly, if not downright inebriated, and are apt not to notice if someone is missing. Handir decided this would be the perfect time to get on with his plan. He made his way to the dungeon where Targash stayed, crept in through the door with the spare key he'd managed to swipe earlier, and walked into the dungeon. Targash was sitting with his head in his knees, completely oblivious to the fact that he was no longer alone.

"Hello there, servant of the Dark Lord," said Handir.

Targash was so startled he nearly jumped out of his own skin. "Uh, hello."

"I'm just curious about you is all, and I figured I'd stop by for a chat."

"Curious? Don't you mean repulsed?"

"Well, it's a little dank down here, but I can't say I've ever seen an Uruk-hai that acts anything like you do, and I've lived an awfully long time. I can either guess that you are an impostor or that perhaps somewhere down the line Orcish stereotypes became self-fulfilling and that we are missing the whole story."

"Um... well, I've just had a rough day."

"That's exactly it, Uruk-hai are built for hard days. That's never stopped them from fighting off their captors and trying to get free before. I mean, you friends later this afternoon were absolutely appalling compared to you."

"Friends? I was the only one surviving! Oh my god... they must have...Who was it?! I have to know!"

"Aha! See, there is more to you than I expected. Uruk-hai don't usually have friends, from what I understand, and you seem surprised that you were followed. King Thranduil will be most pleased at this information."

"Wait! I have to know what happened! What are their names?"

"We don't keep names. We don't really care what their names are, but they're being held separately. I'll tell you what they look like if you give me what I want," Handir said with the most mischievous of grins.

Targash may not have understood the complex political structure of Middle-earth and all of its inhabitants, but he did understand the exchange of gossip. He was, after all, a female high school student up until quite recently. He would have to be careful about this, but it might be worthwhile to have an ally on his side or some solid truth about what happened to the second half of his troop earlier that day. "What do you want?" he inquired ever so shrewdly.

"I'd like to know why you really don't act anything like an Uruk-hai should. I'll tell you who is still alive."

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you, so I suppose that just won't work."

"Try me."

"It really just don't trust you, though."

"They'll dig it out of you anyway, you know. They're going to question each of you separately tomorrow. If they don't get the information they want, they'll shoot an arrow through your throat in half a second."

"Hmmm... well, then guess I'll just wait. I think you're just playing me."

"Well, I think you already know I'm telling the truth because while quite surprised, you were obviously in league with whoever was following you today."

"All the same. I want to know why you are so interested in this-"

"Because the safety of my home and people are at risk."

"Bullshit! You're not worried. I want to know why you are here, and I also want to know who all else was captured today and what their names are. I want you to find out. If you do that, I'll tell you what you want to know, but don't go ape on me when you think it's crazy and unbelievable and that I'm probably lying to you, because I already warned you."

"Whoa, there. Alright. I lied earlier. I know their names: Shagrat, Ugrot, and Turg."

Targash let out a very audible sigh of relief at the mention of the names.

"I never did find out what your name is, though," Handir said.

"It's Targash."

"I'm Handir, Targash."

"You still haven't bothered to tell me why you are here."

"Well, again, I must reiterate that I'm completely and utterly bewildered by your mannerisms. Call me crazy but there's a touch of femininity that seems somehow undeniable, even under all the dirt and grime and otherwise Orcish appearance. I can't fathom that you've ever even met woman, so how on earth would you act like one? Plus, it must be acknowledged that we Elves are inquisitive and slightly tricky by nature, and it means that you were quite correct to guess that this is a fun game for me to play."

"I really just don't feel like telling you anything. You wouldn't believe me, and even if you did, you'd probably just go blab to the King and I really just don't need that right now."

"Ah yes, but I held up my end of the bargain."

"Of course you did, you're a prancy little Elf! I'm an Uruk-hai. I'm allowed to be underhanded and fail to live up to expectations. I'm supposed to be an evil jerk off. Did you really expect me to give you what I want after I got what I wanted?"

"Yes. You were relieved when I listed off the names, which means you obviously have a strong sense of caring emotion. Conscience. You also forget that I can choose to keep your dirty secret, whatever it is, but that I could also exaggerate and say that you are all in league together and no more are coming, it's best just to kill you all as quickly as possible to avoid further contamination of our beautiful kingdom. Or, I could just kill you now. Just like that. You make the call."

There was a pause. Targash scrunched his brows together and considered everything for a moment. In the end, he knew he was on the chopping block either way, and at least telling the story might kill some time.

"Fine.I was living peacefully in my own world, no where near Middle-earth, until about two weeks ago, out of nowhere, I was by myself in the wilderness. Before I was here, I was a human... and a woman. Girl, I guess. When I showed up here, I was this! The band of Uruk-hai I've been running with ever since kind of showed up in my path the same day I arrived, and I just went along with because I had no idea what else to do."

"That's absolutely ridiculous," Handir responded after some time, "I mean, it explains a lot about your personality, but it's still completely unbelievable."

"Yeah, well you asked, buddy."

"If you are what you say, I have sympathy. I'd heard of something similar happening before. Legolas said something about a girl coming to Middle-earth as an Elf, but it evidently drove her mad. Maybe he could offer a bit of perspective. Maybe there is a cure."

Legolas is still here?! Oh my god, this is such a freakin' mess! I can't believe this, Targash thought.

"Is something wrong, Targash?"

"Well, um, no."

"Alright then, I'll be seeing you soon. And don't worry about tomorrow. Thranduil has a habit of procrastinating when it comes to bringing up captors for air, so I doubt you'll actually end up being questioned anytime soon."

"Really? Well, that sucks... I guess now all I have to look forward is some cold, dark, lonely days by myself."

"That's what prison is all about. I can assure you that I'll be back shortly, though. Nice meeting you, Targash."

"Nice meeting you too, Handir."

The only thing bad about this entire situation, besides being locked up in a rancid dungeon alone was that everyone on the forefront of Targash's mind was proving to still be alive, close by, or actually halfway decent. At least the alone time would give him the chance to think through and rationalize all of these ridiculous, completely not evil emotions.

"Fuck!" Targash screamed. "I was supposed to come here as an Elf! I was supposed to meet Legolas and lose my virginity to him! I was supposed to be given a beautiful room with a view and gorgeous clothes and make every guy want me! I'm stuck here in this fucking dungeon by myself to rot as a freaking ORC! I AM SO PISSED OFF!"