Eren Note: We had this assignment in Drama class. We had to redo T'was the Night Before Christmas. We had to do it so we thought we might as well do it Elves of Darkness style! ^_^

Nuin note: We had a lot of fun with this one! ^_^

Luin note: And yes, we are handing this in for marks, so we'll tell you how bad we did. We're on a PoTC kick (surprise surprise) and this just struck us as the most amusing variation we could come up with. Actually…to be honest…we had next to no other ideas. Meh.

T'was the night before Christmas when all through the pub

Under the whiskey barrel glub, glub, glub, glub

The pirates got drunk under the table real quick

In hopes that Jack Sparrow would pick up the cheque

But Jack Sparrow was nestled all snug in his bed

While visions on rum bottles danced in his head

And Elizabeth in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap

When out in the square there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew in a flash

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash

The moon on the waves of the rippling bay

Gave the objects below the glow of mid-day

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But that dratted Jack Sparrow and eight flats of beer

In such a short time he was there and then back

But no one I know sobers faster than Jack

More rapid than the Pearl he stumbled inside

Walking upright, as a matter of pride

"Now Boozer! Now Molson! Now Budweiser and Pilsner!

But I'll never drink that except when on welfare!

Drink them down quickly! Drink down them all!

We'll get nice and plastered and then have a ball!"

[Meanwhile]

As the Interceptor before wild hurricane flies

Then it met with the Pearl and got blown sky-high

And far out in the bay, the Pearl blew up too,

And the pirates all bailed, splash, into the blue

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the shingles

The rolling of bottles and a pirate named Jingle

Down the chimney Jingle came with a bound

He bounced off the floor and his face met the ground

He was dressed all in random stuff, this and then that

And nothing was bigger than Jingle's old hat

A flask of old whiskey he had flung on his back

And he looked like a replica of old Captain Jack

His eyes were all glazed - but his laugh, it was merry!

His face was all red – it looked like a cherry.

His lop-sided grin just lit up the room.

But 'Beth had awoken; he got hit with the broom

He had a black eye and his hat hit the floor

But Jack was amused; he yelled "Hit him more!"

Poor Jingle was knocked out and went thud on the ground

Jack quickly got bored and yelled "Drinks all around!"

Jack was thwacked too – I thought he was dead.

I knew in that moment I had much to dread.

My wife kicked me out flat on my butt in the square;

I'm lucky she didn't drag me out by my hair.

And now I am lying flat on my back

Next to those fools named Jingle and Jack

Jack sprang to his feet and helped up his brother

And away they staggered, leaning on each other.

And I heard Jack exclaim as they wove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas Will Turner and good luck with your fight!!!"