-PHOTOBOOTH-
by Ellie
I remember when the days were long
and the nights when the living room was on the lawn.
Constant quarreling the childish fits
and our clothes in a pile on the ottoman.
All the slander and double speak were only foolish attempts
to show you did not mean,
anything but the blatant proof was your lips touching mine in the photobooth.
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A tear fell, and she brought her hand up to her face to wipe it away, but it was no use... another tear would fall, and she'd make the same move. Over and over again.
She thought back to him. She thought she was in love, she thought she had it all.
She could hear Ray's voice in her head, when he ran into her room, when he had seen her crying. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
She'd choked everything that had happened and let out a shaky "This has nothing to do with him."
Ray knew he did something, but Lily wouldn't say. So he just left the room.
They'd grown apart over that summer, against her will- but Ray hated this new guy in Lily's life. He wouldn't allow himself near the two.
--------
And as the summers ending the cold air rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
and this is all that's left
scraping paper to document.
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.
--------
She felt his lips pushing against hers harshly, moments like this that should feel intimate felt uncomfortable, wrong, and she knew she was doing something that she shouldn't. But she couldn't pull away.
She'd taken down all of her pictures of her and Ray in the photobooth. Had thrown them away.
Replaced them with new ones, this new person...
She didn't love him. She wished she did. So she'd have a reason this barrier between her and Ray existed.
She remembered sitting next to this new person, when her cell phone rang, and she glanced down at it, the text message glaring at her from the screen, screaming at her..
'Lil- miss you. Wish you would talk to me. Ray'
She had choked back another tear, and even though Ray'd given her another chance, she flipped off her cell phone, and kissed the guy again.
--------
Cup your mouth to compress the sound,
skinny dipping with the kids from a nearby town.
And everything that I said was true
as the flashes blinded us in the photobooth.
Well I lost track when those words were said,
you took the wheel and you steered us into my bed,
and soon we woke and I walked you home
and it was pretty clear that is was hardly love.
--------
She lost her virginity to him.
She didn't want to, she said no.
The tears couldn't stop now, everything in her life felt so, wrong... dirty... tainted.
This was when Ray had found her, that fated conversation, when it had been so long since she'd last seen him. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
All he did was offer a hand, and she pushed him away.
Like she did before.
Like she'd been doing all summer long.
-------
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
and this is all that's left scraping paper to document.
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.
-------
She avoided the new guy. She didn't want to think about him, she hated him, she hated him so much...
She didn't understand why she'd avoid her best friend, or why a single person could push her and the guy she'd known all her life completely apart.
They lived so close together, but in different worlds.
She forgot what it was like to laugh.
Tears kept falling, and blurred her vision, but when she glanced at her wall, she saw the pictures clearly.
Those little scraps of paper on her wall, those images, of her and the guy.
Before she could even think about it, she ripped them off of her wall, tearing him out of each and every picture he was in and ripping him to shreds.
She held them over her garbage can, and her mouth gaped when she saw what was lying face up on top of crumpled papers and empty cans.
The pictures of her and Ray in the photobooth.
She took a deep breath and pulled them out, sitting back down on the bed.
She crossed her legs, looking at the pictures of her smiling, laughing, sticking her tongue out at the camera, Ray's arm around her...
-------
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending,
as the alcohol drained the days.
-------
She missed him so much. More than she'd ever thought she would.
She hoped she didn't mess everything up.
Please, please let him forgive me...
She saw her phone on her desk, and grabbed it.
Her hand was shaking and her vision was blurred while she put in his cell phone number, and paused for a moment before she hit talk.
It seemed like ages had passed before she heard a ring.
Another ring.
And another.
And then, "Hi, it's Ray..."
"Ray..."
"Leave a message after the beep."
She quickly hung up.
He must've seen her on his caller id.
He didn't want to talk.
-------
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
-------
She didn't want to stay in her room, there were too many memories of the guy in there, so she left to the last place she'd really talked to Ray.
The radio free roscoe studio.
She'd gone as quickly as she could, picking up her pace, just wanting to sit down in there.
Just to think.
She got to the door, remembering all the old times they'd had here.
It felt like ages ago, when it was only a few months.
She turned the handle and pulled it open, and gently took a few steps forward... and sat down on the couch.
She saw a figure move in Smog's old chair, and she jumped.
Ray jumped out from Smog's booth, cellphone in hand, and saw Lily.
"I... I just tried calling you. I didn't get to my phone in time, and your mom said that you just left.."
She felt more tears well up in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
He took a few steps forward, inching towards her. "Why did you call?"
She glanced up at him. "Because I missed you." A few tears streamed down her face.
He walked forward a little bit more. "I... I missed you too... but he-"
"He's gone. For good."
Ray nodded.
"I screwed up, I know."
He sat down next to Lily. "I've known you long enough to know we'll be fine. Wish this could've happened a while ago, would've saved me from staying home all those times and watching Full House reruns all day." He gave her a weak smile, and she let out a laugh.
"Ray..."
"Yeah?"
She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he pulled her into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her back, holding her tightly, while she laid her head on his shoulder.
"You know I'd never hurt you, right?" he whispered.
"Yeah."
He gently let go of her, and pulled back just enough, so he could lean in.
She felt his lips press against hers.
And all of a sudden, she felt happy.
Happier than she could remember feeling in a long time.
She kissed back, feeling all sorts of things that she never felt with the other guy. This was how it was supposed to be.
This was love.
She broke the kiss, and pulled away, looking into his eyes.
"Why don't we go to the mall? I need some new pictures."
He grinned. "Good idea."
-------
You were so condescending.
And this is all that's left,
The empty bottles spent cigarettes so pack a change of clothes
'cause its time to move on.
FIN