I don't own anything of which this fic is based on, but the villains in the story belong to me.

Chapter One: "Honor Roll Awards Are Delayed By the Theft"

*****

            It was dark. The boy entered the room, feeling the cold as it hit him like a hammer. The pitch-black of the shack caused him to blink, trying to focus on the figure in front of him. He knew that the figure could see him—even if he couldn't see the figure. "Master?"

            "I know something you can do for me, Smith."

            Smith groped around him for the wooden chair that had been placed in front of his master's desk. When he found it, he shakily lowered himself down, trembling in fear and anxiety. "I'm listening."

            A small light flickered on above him, produced from a single bare light bulb. Smith noticed that his hands were clasped together tightly, knuckles white. He could see the full outline of his master in front of him, seated across from him in a large wooden desk. "You know that there are three times as many honor roll students as there were last year, Smith."

            "Y-yes."

            "The school also has the most honor roll students out of every school in the district. And you do know that the superintendent presents five thousand dollars in cash to the school with the most honor roll students to use on school supplies, am I right?"

            "Yes," Smith repeated, even though he only just found out now.

            "Our club also needs the money. On Wednesday the school receives all the bumper stickers. We send our best agents out to steal them to cause a mild diversion which should be enough for us to have time to find out the combination of the school safe in the office and steal the money."

            "All of it?"

            "Every single penny."

            "Are you sure that our club can pull off something like that?" Smith blurted, then realized to late that he had said wrong thing.

            There was silence. Then he could see his master lift himself off of his chair and stride over to him. Smith could catch glimpses of the kid's features, making him tremble even more. His master leaned over and hissed in his ear: "They don't call me Sticky Fingers for nothin'."

            And with a soft click the light went out.

*****

            It was a warm Wednesday morning at school and all of the Safety Officers were hard at work. Ingrid Third was analyzing the student's files on her computer at her desk. Next to her officer Cornelius Fillmore was sorting records into an accordion folder. Each record had information about a certain student who had recently committed a crime at school, and this had to be the most boring job Fillmore could ever imagine being assigned to.     

            "Hey! Hey guys!"

            Fillmore let out a low groan as Danny O'Farrell came bursting into the HQ. Setting his files down on his desk, he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and clapped a hand to his forehead. "What is it, O'Farrell?"

            O'Farrell waved a sheet of computer paper over his head excitedly, bounding over to Fillmore's desk. "Look! It's the list of honor roll students!" he announced, shoving the paper at Fillmore. Fillmore smoothed the paper out on his desk and raised an eyebrow. "You got on honor roll?"

            "Well, yeah!" O'Farrell replied happily. "Last year, I failed cooking! But now that I've been working for the yearbook, I'm on a roll! Honor roll, that is! Ha ha ha…"

            "That was lame, O'Farrell," Fillmore muttered dully. O'Farrell simply shrugged and spun around some more, reading the rest of the list by holding it high above his head.

            Ingrid spun her chair away from her desk briefly and leaned over toward Fillmore. "You do know why he failed cooking, don't you?" she whispered.

            "No," Fillmore admitted. "Why?"

            "Because during the exams when the cooking teacher sampled one of his buffalo wings, it kind of…leaked."

            "Dawg, that's nasty."

            Ingrid spun her chair back around to face the computer again, then let out a small squeak of surprise as she found O'Farrell's copy of the honor roll list being shoved at her face.

            "Look, Ingrid! You made the list, too!"

            Thoroughly annoyed by now, Ingrid viciously ripped the list from O'Farrell's grasp, crumpled it up, squashed it with her fist and sent it flying into the wastebasket. "Do something like that again and the same thing happens to you, am I clear?"

            O'Farrell gulped.

            Just then Principal Volson's voice sounded from the loudspeakers. "Will all honor roll students please come to the office to receive their certificates and bumper stickers. Thank you." Click.

            O'Farrell bounced excitedly out the door, making many of the officers in the room want to vomit because of his enthusiasm. Ingrid reluctantly rose from her desk and followed.

            After the two of them had left, the normal chatter filled the room once more as the officers went about their business. Feeling completely bored as he had nothing he actually wanted to do, Fillmore propped his feet up on his desk and played with his pencil, waiting for his favorite colleague to return.

            Suddenly the door swung open and in walked Jr. Commissioner Vallejo. Vallejo had a rep for being strict and living to keep things neat and in order. No one liked getting in trouble with the junior commissioner.

            "All right," Vallejo barked. "I want to see everybody working on something. Anza, quit stalling. Fillmore, get your shoes off your desk. I know where you go wearing 'em and I'm not going to let 'em get anywhere close to my hand-polished mahogany tabletops!"

*****

            Ingrid strode down the main hall to the office, on her way to gather her awards. Her plan was to get there first, take her certificate, and leave before any of the honor roll students had a chance to make a big speech about how much he/she loves the school and how he/she thanks their favorite teacher and all that jazz.

            When she arrived, she had expected to be greeted by the sight of all of the disgustingly happy middle schoolers raving about their point average and wondering what they're going to use to frame their certificates (A/N: A picture frame, DUH!). What she saw instead surprised her.

            The hall was overflowing with students of all ages and grades moping around and acting very upset. Several of them had burst into hysterical sobs. You didn't even have to be a safety patrol officer to realize that something had gone horribly wrong.

            Ingrid pulled over a random student and questioned her. "Excuse me, but could you please tell me your name?"

            It was a girl with dark brown hair adorned with a large blue coat. Her eyes were red from crying and Ingrid could see traces of tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "Linda Wincoff," she answered softly.

            Ingrid snapped open her wallet and showed Linda her badge and ID. "Ingrid Third, Safety Patrol Officer. Would you mind telling me what has happened here?"

            Linda sniffed, a pained, saddened look upon her face. "I couldn't believe it," she blubbered. "Some…some IDIOT stole all of the awards! Now none of us will have anything to show our parents and…and…THEY WON'T BE PROUD OF US ANYMORE!!!"

            Ingrid allowed the girl to sob for about a full minute, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder in an effort to calm her down so that she could get more details. Finally, the witness removed a wadded-up, wrinkled handkerchief and blew her nose loudly. "Then whoever it was left this in the package that had had all of the bumper stickers in them. Principal Volson just found it…"

            The Safety Patrol officer waited patiently as the girl rummaged through her coat pocket. Linda finally removed two sheets of torn paper and handed them to Ingrid.

            You could practically see the gears in Ingrid's head turning as she matched up the torn edges on both pieces of paper. "Crackers," she murmured in a slightly amused tone. "There must be some sort of coded message inscribed on this paper."

            "Really?" the other teen asked excitedly. "What does it say? What does it say?!"

            "Unless I am very much mistaken," Ingrid said slowly, "it says something along the lines of…" She paused for dramatic effect, making Linda look hopeful. Suddenly she spat out, " 'My Child is an Honor Roll Student at X Middle School!' It's just a ripped bumper sticker! Is this some kind of joke, soapsuds?!"

            The girl's bottom lip quivered. "No! I j-just—"

            "You know, as far as I'm concerned a ripped bumper sticker doesn't mean anything! For all we know it could've been ripped when it got here!"

            "You don't understand!" Linda wailed. "It's some sort of threat."

            Ingrid raised an eyebrow in honest confusement. "A threat?"

            "Yes!" Linda answered. "It's the worst offense against an honor roll student that anyone can ever imagine."

            "Huh." Ingrid rolled her eyes up heavenward. "I'm guessing it's right up there with crawling through someone's window at night and murdering them in cold blood, am I right?"

            "Yeah, that's about it."

            Ingrid sighed. "I'll take this up to the HQ. We'll do our best to find out who did it."

            "Thank you officer."

            Ingrid left the scene and headed back up the staircase, ready to report what had happened to Jr. Commissioner Vallejo. Maybe I should be proud to be on the honor roll, she thought to herself, but I'm already proud enough not to be someone like Linda Wincoff.

*****

End of Chapter One.

A/N: Well, that's chapter one for now. And I apologize for completely exaggerating the reaction from all of the honor roll students about the whole ripped bumper sticker thing…but, you know that in the REAL show they exaggerate everything. So, sue me if I wanna make this episode as "real" as possible. No, really, don't, I put the disclaimer up there…

~Teaz