Cordano and proud of it!

I've always thought that there has to be something more to Robert Romano. Still can't believe what they (see South Park) did - if they couldn't think of a better story line, why didn't they just pay a visit to ff.net? There really was no need to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own any of the characters. I have enough responsibility in my life as it is. Apologies for any unintended infringements, yada, yada. Should also mention that anything vaguely medical or related to US culture/society is based solely on artistic license - if it fits, its in.

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'Just when I thought my life couldn't possibly get any worse,' Robert Romano said to himself as he jerkily threw one of the pebbles into the Chicago night.

Ignoring the people walking past him, he leant against the bridge's railing and looked down into the murkiness below. Images of people solving their problems by jumping to certain death flashed through his mind but the notion of doing so himself was easily dismissed. Robert Patrick Romano was not a quitter. If he had been, he would have killed himself a long time ago when his mind was clouded by pain and anxiety as he faced the prospect of losing everything he had worked so hard for.

Today had started out like any other since the helicopter accident. Physical therapy had been particularly depressing due to the lack of progress. In fact, due to the regression of the sensory level if he was honest. Of course he'd taken his frustrations out on his therapist but she knew to expect that from him. Surely he wasn't the only patient to do so. Perhaps the tea making disaster was his punishment for that.

"Robert?" a musical voice queried from behind.

Robert froze and then smiled ironically down at his shoes. Steeling himself, he turned to face Dr Elizabeth Corday, acting Chief of Surgery and likely to be permanent now.

"Lizzie," he acknowledged neutrally.

"I left several messages for you. Didn't you get them?"

"Yes I did. Sorry, but I really didn't feel up to talking. Still don't as a matter of fact."

Elizabeth was undeterred by his comment. She knew him well enough to know when he was lying.

"So how did it go with plastics?"

Robert bit back the hurtful comment and took a calming breath. He hated that Lizzie had been dragged into his latest mishap, he hated the pitying sympathy she showed. Most of all, he hated how she saw straight through him sometimes. It left him defenseless when he needed to feel strong.

"They say its salvageable but can't do much about the scars."

"What treatment did they propose and when?"

"Doesn't really matter. I've decided to decline their generous offer and cut my losses before I manage to …"

"What do you mean 'cut your losses'?" Elizabeth interrupted.

"The arm's useless, we all know it. After this afternoon, its nothing but a charred deadweight."

"Don't be stupid, Robert! I've told you before, you have to be patient. Not even you can expect miracles overnight."

"Patient?! I can't feel a damn thing, Lizzie. I didn't even notice my goddamn arm was on fire until I smelt it!" Robert spat out loudly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eliz asked quietly after she had absorbed this new information.

"What good would it have done?"

"It always helps to talk about these things. Robert, if you're not going to see someone following such a trauma, at least talk to me. You can't keep this sort of things bottled up. Its not healthy."

"Well, that's very insightful of you Dr Corday," Robert said with his trademark sarcasm. "Look, there are no other options. Its going and that's it."

"So you're just going to give up? The Great Rocket Romano is going to amputate his own arm because of one little accident?" she mocked, angry at him for being so stubborn.

"I wouldn't call it little …"

"Shut up Robert! There are other options. If you would just follow plastic's advise, there is hope."

"Jesus! Don't you ever give up?" he snapped. "There is no hope. There is no future. Its over and I want this fucking nightmare to end now!"

Elizabeth could see he was getting more and more agitated and knew from previous experience they would get nowhere. She tried a different tactic.

"Robert, please reconsider. At least don't make such a decision tonight, when you're angry and frustrated. Give yourself time to calm down and look at the situation objectively," she pleaded.

Robert's shoulders slumped in resignation. Elizabeth's logical plea caused him to seriously doubt the path he had been so set on before she arrived.

He turned back and looked at her carefully and was about to reply when another male voice broke in.

"Your ride awaits, m'lady," Dr Edward Dorsett said, bowing theatrically, totally unaware of the conversation he interrupted.

Elizabeth almost screamed at the intruder to go away but the damage was done. Her eyes hadn't left Robert's face and she watched with dismay as the shutters came down, fast and loud. She opened her mouth to explain but he got there first.

"Save it! Have a nice evening," Robert said coldly and walked away.

"Oops, was it something I said?" Dorsett mocked as they both watched Robert disappear.

No longer in the mood to be nice to the junior surgeon, Elizabeth rounded on him angrily.

"No, it wasn't something you said," she snapped, stressing the last word. "If you don't mind, I'm going to make my own way home. Goodnight."

"Hey, hey. Don't be like that! I'm sorry I interrupted you little tête à tête with County's One Armed Wonder," Dorsett said as he grabbed her arm to stop her walking away.

"Let go of me, Dr Dorsett, and don't you ever refer to Dr Romano by anything other than his title. Do I make myself clear?" she asked coldly.

Slightly taken aback, Dorsett held up his hands in defeat in surrender and stepped back.

"So terribly sorry. Didn't realize you two were that close."

Elizabeth chose not to reply to that one, simply glaring at the smug doctor and walking away. She briefly contemplated running after Robert but knew her presence would no longer be welcome if his parting glare was any indication.

Robert called in sick the next day, not unsurprising given the state his arm was in. Elizabeth decided to give him the whole day to cool off before trying to convince him to change his mind again. The following morning, she arrived early and quickly checked the surgical schedule. She would have missed it if she had been in a hurry. Overnight, somebody had added a surgery for one of the vascular and orthopedic surgeons. The patient's name had been omitted but Elizabeth knew exactly who that would be.

Luckily, it was scheduled for later that morning so she still had time. After a search through the hospital database, she found one R. Romano listed as occupying room 331. She used the dash down the hall and stairs to calm herself and plan what she was going to say.

After checking with the duty nurse, she learnt that Robert was already awake. In fact, he had barely slept at all during the night. Elizabeth knocked lightly on the door and opened it when she heard a familiar voice call out.

Robert was sitting up in bed, on top of the covers and dressed in jeans and a dark t-shirt. He rolled his eyes comically when he saw who his visitor was. Elizabeth didn't say anything as she walked up to the bed and pulled up a chair. Robert continued to stare at her, not particularly liking the questioning exasperation.

"Well, you can't blame me for trying," he stated quietly to end the silence.

"No and you can't blame me for being disappointed in you for doing so," she replied.

"Its not your decision, Lizzie," Robert reiterated tiredly.

"So? Surely you'll listen to my opinion though? Even if you don't accept it as a friend, perhaps my professional opinion might have some weight."

"I did listen to your opinion. However, I just don't see that you have a valid point. The arm is not going to get better, its only going to cause more and more problems. I'd just be delaying the inevitable if I followed your advice."

"You're not going to even try?"

"I've been trying for five months, Lizzie."

'What else was there to say?' Elizabeth wondered as she looked anywhere but at Robert. She idly noted the bed was covered in paperwork and almost laughed that even just before he has his arm cut off, Robert Romano is still working. Sadly, she realized that it was his way of coping. It was denial through and through but there was nothing she could do about it.

"Fine," she said standing up suddenly. "I want nothing to do with this then. You are just reacting badly to a setback. This is wrong, Robert. That's just my professional opinion though."

"Lizzie, please, this is hard enough as it is."

"Really? You're making it look extraordinarily easy. I shouldn't be surprised though. I mean, its not like... oh forget it. I've tried to make you see sense but there's obviously nothing I can say to change your mind. You are one stubborn man, Robert Romano, and I don't mean that kindly."

"You act as if that's news to you."

Elizabeth simply stared at him, the anger gone, replaced by sadness.

"Goodbye, Robert," she replied sadly and walked out of the room.

It took all her reserves not to keep checking on him as the time of his surgery grew close. She may have said she wanted nothing to do with his surgery but her heart couldn't abandon him, especially when he had always been there for her. Elizabeth had every intention of being there as he went under and staying with him recovery. However, she was called down to ER for a surgical consult half an hour before Robert's surgery and her intentions disappeared. Absorbed by the injuries of the four children from the MVA, Elizabeth barely remembered her plans. By the time she started to make her way back up, Robert was already unconscious.

Elizabeth's pager sounded two floors below surgery and she glanced at the screen. Noting it was Shirley, she decided to stop at the desk before going to check on Robert.

The usually unfazed nurse was looking scared as she met Elizabeth halfway. She barely managed to stammer out the few words but it was enough.

"Its Dr Romano."

At first, Elizabeth first thought their boss has done something offensive yet again and she is being called upon to go and sort it out. Then she realized Shirley's expression is not the usual amused exasperation but more of fear and concern. Without needing ask any questions, Elizabeth ran down to the OR where was Robert due to undergo surgery. As she scrubbed in, Elizabeth looked through the window and was dismayed to see the surgeons desperately performing CPR on the patient.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded, sweeping into the room.

"He went too deep and his heart stopped," one of the surgeons answered clinically without stopping chest compressions.

Elizabeth looked at the monitors and begged the flat line to jump.

"How long as he been down?"

"Three minutes."

Elizabeth galvanized herself into action and stepped up to the gurney's head. The scared looking anesthetist quickly moved out of the way and Elizabeth took his place. She looked down at Robert's still face. Even intubated, his lips were tinted blue and his skin was paler she than ever seen.

"You gave him some anesthesia-reversal agent?"

"Yes but its not working."

Elizabeth snapped out an order for another dose and some adrenaline. When they arrived, she quickly administered the first and watched as the monitor line started jumping, but it was irregular and not enough to stop compressions. At least there was some reaction though. In a haze of efficiency, the resuscitation crash cart was brought closer and the paddles charged.

"Clear!" she warned and all the other medical staff stepped back. Elizabeth winced as Robert's body jerked but the feeble heart rhythm didn't improve. She determinedly ordered a higher charge and administered the electric surge. When they was still no change, Elizabeth could feel the fear seeping through her bones. In the back of her mind, she was very aware Robert may not want to survive. No one better than her could understand what he stood to lose if his arm didn't recover.

"Come on Robert! Not like this. Please, I can't lose you too," she begged, regardless of all her colleagues present.

"Give him the adrenaline," she ordered as she turned to increase the charge once more. She ignored the questioning glance from the nurse on the other side of the machine. They both knew such a shock was risky but they stood to lose the patient anyway.

Holding her breath, Elizabeth placed the paddles on Robert's chest in their last attempt to restart his heart. They all waited silently, watching the monitor as the line jumped erratically then settled into steady rhythm, slow at first but then it picked up.

Amid the collective sigh of relief as Robert's condition stabilized, Elizabeth handed back the paddles and pulled up one of the stools so she could sit beside his head. Ignoring the sounds of the surgical staff doing their jobs, Elizabeth reached out to touch Robert's face. Tentatively at first, almost scared he would wake up and catch her in the act, she softly stroked his cool skin. He was by no means out of the woods yet. There could be serious damage caused by the heart failure including brain damage. She hated to think that Robert would be incapacitated like that, it seemed so wrong.

"Robert, can you hear me?" she asked.

When there was no reaction, Elizabeth shone her penlight into his eyes to test the pupil reaction. The response from the brown eyes was uneven and sluggish at best. Only a CT scan would be able to reveal the true extent of any trauma suffered.

"Robert," she said again, louder, without any real hope that he would respond.

"You'd better be all right Dr Romano," she whispered vehemently before pushing herself away from the gurney.

"I'm going to get him settled in ICU and then I want to see you in my office," Elizabeth stated, addressing her comments to the surgeons and anesthetist. She ignored the looks all three shared and walked to the wall phone to warn the ICU unit of the new arrival.