LXG woke up Fluffy

This is PURE INSANITY, making much use of the mighty CAPS LOCK and the celestial BEEP – NO OFFENCE is meant!

Tom Sawyer threw off his covers, which looked decidedly fluffier than they had the night before. He frowned slightly, then shook his head and stumbled into the bathroom, reaching for his favourite shampoo...

He stepped out of the shower, wiped the steam off the mirror, and screamed. His hair was bright, fluorescent, bubble-gum pink!

He staggered back to his bedroom, numb with shock. He looked towards his bed, searching for the clothes he discarded the night before, and screamed again.

"What the BEEP? Why the BEEP is BEEPING Dorian in my BEEPING bed!?!"

Dorian raised an eyebrow. "Funny you should mention fu-"

DORIAN! shouted the author. You're not allowed to swear in my humorous fanfictions! You're only allowed to BEEP!

Dorian sighed. "Fine. I'll go and find Skinner, he understands me..."

"But I'm 'ere already, luv."

Tom screamed again.

Dorian delicately raised one hand to his ear. "Tom, my shagadelic sex bunny, could you possibly cease the screaming? Or at least come over here and make ME scream..."

Tom screamed again.

"What's all this screaming?" roared a heavily accented Scottish voice from outside the door.

Tom screamed and searched for something, ANYTHING to cover up his manhood, before...

The door burst off its hinges, having been slammed by Mr. Hyde's shoulder. Q strode in while Mr. Hyde stood, breathing heavily in the doorway.

"What on earth is going on?" boomed Q. "Why is Tom nude except for a battered copy of Vampires Playboy? Why is his hair bright, fluorescent, bubble-gum pink? Why am I only speaking in questions? Why can I not speak in a normal tone of voice? Why am I being referred to as Q? Answer me!"

The author cowered behind the nude Tom. Erm...? She quavered. I couldn't remember how to spell your name...

"WHAT?!? But I am the almighty, return from the dead, best shot in the waters and on dry land Q! Worship me! Bow down before me!"

See? You can't remember how to spell your name either...

She yelped as he took a swing at her. She dodged, and all Q accomplished was knocking aside Tom's battered copy of Vampires Playboy and causing Dorian, the author, and about half the earth's population to sigh with happiness.

"Stop sighing with happiness, gel! You got us into this mess, now you've got to get us out of it!"

Well, technically, that is, as we say, incorrect. You ARE the heroes in this vicinity, yes? Then, by your very job description, actually, it is, as you so quaintly put it, up to YOU to get us out of it...

~~

Will they? Won't they? Who's next to go pink? What is next to turn fluffy? Where the BEEP is Mina?!?

~~~

R/R folks! Don't forget, I own diddly squat, I love you, Tom is my prrrreciiiiousssss, flames will be used to heat my hovel, and did I mention I love you?

Btb, this is my first EVER LXG fic, as I only bought the DVD last week!