Pet Me

Author: Reese
Rating: PG-13 for innuendoes
Chapter(s): 1
Summary: Hermione is trapped in a room. With a snake. Who seems to be overly affectionate towards her ... ... Ew.

Etc: Just a little humour. Very AU-ish because I didn't bother explaining how Tom's presence came to be. Oh, and funny characterizations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

All you have to do is pet the damn thing.

Hermione shook her head, wildly, and scrambled to the opposite side of the room. Her movements to avoid him were quite futile since his legs were much longer and when he was determined, he made sure his wants and needs were fulfilled. Really, had the circumstances been different, she would have been more willing to relent and give in to his demands. However, this determination was fueled by a request so ridiculous, so vile that it made her cringe, so eccentric that she wanted to do anything in her power to avoid him.

Not that her situation helped her any. He conveniently trapped her in an abandoned classroom and made sure she was devoid of any wand and locked the door, securely.

Git.

He nearly cornered her by the window but, as luck would have it, she side-stepped him, stomped on his foot with all the strength she could muster, and ran away from him to tug at the doorknob--and pound on it as if she were stranded with the most hideous thing on earth.

But, of course, he was not hideous. This he told himself after a series of obscenities bounced off the classroom walls when she scuffed his newly bought shoes.

By her, no less!

Hermione ...

Fire flared in her eyes. Great Merlin. She looked positively fetching when her bushy, caramel hair fluffed out (like her cat, he mused) and her lips curled into a snarl. Pity she was not sorted into Slytherin. She would have surely given that bigot, Malfoy, something to scowl about. (No, he had nothing against Slytherins--for he was one as well--but there really could only be one beautiful person in the school, and that was him).

Absolutely not! she exclaimed, hotly. That's disgusting!

He sighed, exasperated from chasing her around the room from corner to corner. Honestly. She was being childish about the whole situation.

Just touch it. Give it a little stroke.

Hermione stared at him, deadpanned.

Do you honestly think I'll subject myself to touching something so ... wet and slimy? she shuddered at the thought.

Oh, shut up. Look, it's erect. He grinned. Here, touch it. It likes you.

Tom proceeded to attack her with his ... thing. She dare not give it a name for that would mean acknowledging what Tom was bestowed with.

Hermione shoved him away. Getaway from me! And that thing too!

Time really called for desperate measures. He wanted her to touch it.

Now.

Besides, no one called his pet a thing' and got away with it. His thing' had a name. He, proudly, named it himself for Merline's sake.

He went after her until, finally, she tripped over a chair leg and was sprawled across the floor. He straddled her legs, making sure her hands were tightly snug under his knees. Hermione Granger had a bad habit of scratching people's eyes out who dared to annoy her.

And he did annoy her. And she was in a furious mood.

He scowled; he blamed all of her habits on that mangy cat.

It was moving quite close to her face.

Aw, he mused, how sweet. It likes her!

Ew, ew, ew! she tried to scramble away but he was much stronger than her.

Curses!

Stop! Oh no ... Tom! she screeched.

The thing' licked her with a small hiss.

Tom pet the snake that was slowly curling around the petite girl's arm.

See. It likes you. He stroked the scales on his pet. Good Nagini.

Hermione wanted to kill him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . this love, maroon 5

So I, purposely, made Tom and Hermione OOC.Not exactly a T/H shipping fic, but it implies it anyway. The snake' in the summary was both Tom and his pet if you didn't catch that. Heh.

I'll write a decent T/H fic next time. :P