Limit Break

~*~

Before I begin, let me make one thing clear

And if you don't listen, you might disappear…

I'm not being romantic – perish the thought!

You just won't be seen again, and I won't get caught…

.

Now, just where was I ?  Oh yes, you must know –

Call me "Sephy" or "Seph-chan" and to Hades, you'll go.

The name's Sephiroth, pleasure's yours, now we've met 

You had better sit down, I'm hardly done yet.

.

It's simple – I'm nauseated by Mary Sues

Who glomp and "conform" me – why, yes, I feel used!

I'm General Sephiroth – Shinra's supreme –

Not "misunderstood," nor some fool's lover-dream.

.

I won't whisper sweet nothings, nor through her, "atone"…

I'd rather face seven Dark Dragons alone.

So just for the record; your attention I've got?

Write me as 'romantic' – you'll wish you'd been shot.

.

I don't care for half-Cetras, or girls with a "past"…

I'm crazy, remember? It just wouldn't last.

Don't care if her dad hates her – heck, just look at mine…

Take your pick: deranged Hojo, or dark Valentine.

.

Which brings me to canon, and "Aeriseph" fans;

A moniker I can't say I understand

I killed the Ancient; her love I don't need

Though that moment was funny; seems Cetras don't bleed…

.

And as for Tifa – she's pretty, it's true

But I'm not the "guide" type to dumbly help her through.

That said; you must see that she only sees Strife

Which just might be a choice that will cost her her life…

.

So what of the ninja who thinks that she's boss?

Please! Give me some credit; there are lines I don't cross…

We're separated by too many years

(And I like my Materia, and use of my ears…)

.

This now explained… allow me to say

That not now, nor ever will I swing "that way"

It seems my PR folk must make quick amends

For while Zack was a colleague, we were hardly close 'friends.'

.

Vincent's out of the question – those stories should burn –

The dad-implications make MY stomach turn

Yes, we're both "tragic" – hardly full of mirth

But if you write angst-love… Gods, research it first!

.

This leaves my "copy;" the clone with a heart

His adventures and sidekicks just set him apart…

Even so, he's a puppet, while I've cut my strings…

Why tie myself down, when I've just found my wings?

.

Hope you've comprehended what I have made clear

And that there will be no more 'errors' from here…

True, it is a free country – my patience you test –

Just know, ye who face me, I always end best…

~*~

Disclaimer: FF7 and all the characters, locations, and assorted objects therein belong to Square.

Sabriel's Scribbles:  Silverlocke, my wonderful SC buddy, this one's for you. I tried to write something lighter, and a ranting, snarky Sephiroth was what slipped out of my pen… not literally, I'm afraid. Though he's a little far off the deep end for me…

NOW. Before various shippers come after me with various weapons… take a deeeeep breath and count to ten.  This poem is completely meant as a bit of parody.  Although - there are some OC's out there that make me drop my head into my hands and sigh sadly…  I'm not actually against any of the pairings (except, I do agree with the squickiness of the S/V), although I don't read them all… but as long as they're presented understandably, with some degree of eloquence, all's well. I don't know if anyone's actually ever tried a Sephiroth/Yuffie before; the verse came easily, so I kept it… if anyone actually knows of/has written one, give me a shout; I'd like to read it to see the character dynamics (which would be rather insane, I think…)