Limit Break
~*~
Before I begin, let me make one thing clear
And if you don't listen, you might disappear…
I'm not being romantic – perish the thought!
You just won't be seen again, and I won't get caught…
.
Now, just where was I ? Oh yes, you must know –
Call me "Sephy" or "Seph-chan" and to Hades, you'll go.
The name's Sephiroth, pleasure's yours, now we've met
You had better sit down, I'm hardly done yet.
.
It's simple – I'm nauseated by Mary Sues
Who glomp and "conform" me – why, yes, I feel used!
I'm General Sephiroth – Shinra's supreme –
Not "misunderstood," nor some fool's lover-dream.
.
I won't whisper sweet nothings, nor through her, "atone"…
I'd rather face seven Dark Dragons alone.
So just for the record; your attention I've got?
Write me as 'romantic' – you'll wish you'd been shot.
.
I don't care for half-Cetras, or girls with a "past"…
I'm crazy, remember? It just wouldn't last.
Don't care if her dad hates her – heck, just look at mine…
Take your pick: deranged Hojo, or dark Valentine.
.
Which brings me to canon, and "Aeriseph" fans;
A moniker I can't say I understand
I killed the Ancient; her love I don't need
Though that moment was funny; seems Cetras don't bleed…
.
And as for Tifa – she's pretty, it's true
But I'm not the "guide" type to dumbly help her through.
That said; you must see that she only sees Strife
Which just might be a choice that will cost her her life…
.
So what of the ninja who thinks that she's boss?
Please! Give me some credit; there are lines I don't cross…
We're separated by too many years
(And I like my Materia, and use of my ears…)
.
This now explained… allow me to say
That not now, nor ever will I swing "that way"
It seems my PR folk must make quick amends
For while Zack was a colleague, we were hardly close 'friends.'
.
Vincent's out of the question – those stories should burn –
The dad-implications make MY stomach turn
Yes, we're both "tragic" – hardly full of mirth
But if you write angst-love… Gods, research it first!
.
This leaves my "copy;" the clone with a heart
His adventures and sidekicks just set him apart…
Even so, he's a puppet, while I've cut my strings…
Why tie myself down, when I've just found my wings?
.
Hope you've comprehended what I have made clear
And that there will be no more 'errors' from here…
True, it is a free country – my patience you test –
Just know, ye who face me, I always end best…
~*~
Disclaimer: FF7 and all the characters, locations, and assorted objects therein belong to Square.
Sabriel's Scribbles: Silverlocke, my wonderful SC buddy, this one's for you. I tried to write something lighter, and a ranting, snarky Sephiroth was what slipped out of my pen… not literally, I'm afraid. Though he's a little far off the deep end for me…
NOW. Before various shippers come after me with various weapons… take a deeeeep breath and count to ten. This poem is completely meant as a bit of parody. Although - there are some OC's out there that make me drop my head into my hands and sigh sadly… I'm not actually against any of the pairings (except, I do agree with the squickiness of the S/V), although I don't read them all… but as long as they're presented understandably, with some degree of eloquence, all's well. I don't know if anyone's actually ever tried a Sephiroth/Yuffie before; the verse came easily, so I kept it… if anyone actually knows of/has written one, give me a shout; I'd like to read it to see the character dynamics (which would be rather insane, I think…)