Final chapter here. I did, however, just go back and add the scripts for the first and third episodes in the appropriate spots. The script for episode 1, "A Fresh Start," is located in Ch. 2. In this script, Spike realizes he's in love with Angel, Gunn finds the babies on his doorstep, Angel learns that his sister Kathy didn't die, and Wesley tries to alter time so that Fred is alive again. The script for episode 3, "The Legend of the Halpir" is Ch. 7. In this one, Paige goes to work at Wolfram & Hart, Connor regains his memory and vows revenge on Angel, Lindsey informs Kathy that she is a special being called a halpir, and the gang learns that Spike and Angel are together.

BTW, the WB has made a change to its fall schedule. A drama called "The Mountain" is now set to air in "Angel's" old time slot.

"The End"

The last episode had aired three days previously when Lorne called the final cast meeting. As they had so many times before, Spike, Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Angel, Gwen, Lindsey, Kathy, Paige, and Connor showed up. Buffy was also present.

Lorne was already in the meeting room when the others arrived. A half-empty bottle of champagne and a full glass sat on the table in front of him. Several unopened bottles, 11 glasses, a dozen plates, and a platter of roasted frog legs completed the setting. As everyone chose a seat, they glanced at Lorne. He appeared to be very relaxed, in quite the expansive mood, and when he spoke his voice was slightly slurred.

"Well, gang, I guess it's a wrap for our show. I don't mind admitting it's a bit of a relief that it's all over. Writing the scripts and making sure they were up to snuff was a lot of pressure. But the network didn't miraculously reverse its decision, so it's a wrap for us."

Gunn selected a frog leg, took a tentative bite, and smiled. "You know, these are really good. Where did they come from? Not the network, I bet."

Lorne shook his head. "Nah, they sent this giant fruit basket along with a card thanking us for 'five great years.' I took the basket back to the store and exchanged it for the legs. I figured they were more fitting."

Kathy frowned and opened her mouth, but Angel answered her obvious question before she could get a word out. "Lorne means frog legs are fitting because the WB mascot is a frog. It's like by eating frog legs, we're burning the network in effigy." Kathy opened her mouth again, looking even more confused. Once more, Angel cut her off. "And please don't ask me what 'burning in effigy' means. Pick up a dictionary for once and look it up."

Before the situation could turn unpleasant, Lindsey changed the subject. "So, Lorne, now that we're finished, what did you have in mind if we'd gone on to a sixth season? I'm curious to know how all of those cliffhangers would have turned out."

Lorne finished off his glass and replied, "Well, I'll start with myself and my perilous weight-loss mission. In the feel-good story of the year, I would have achieved my goal."

Everyone enthusiastically applauded. So far, so good.

"Then there's the Buffy/Angel/Spike triangle," Lorne continued, "which would have played out over the course of the season. I had a great idea for one script. Spike and Angel are battling over who gets to be with Buffy, see, and then Angel seems to take himself out of the running when he develops an allergy to Buffy. But everything works out in the end, because it turns out he is actually just allergic to her vanilla perfume."

Buffy's head snapped up. "My what perfume?"

Lorne ignored her, refilled his glass, and bulled ahead. "Finally, Angel and Spike come to their senses and realize that rather than them fighting to be with Buffy, they should be making her fight to get one of them. We have plenty of mileage left in that story, especially if the censors let us get away with an implied threesome. And things heat up even more when Spike's long-lost childe comes to Los Angeles and--"

"Wait," Spike interrupted. "You mean 'child' like Connor is to Angel?"

"No, not 'child' as in c-h-i-l-d. 'Childe' with an 'e' at the end, as in vampire offspring."

Spike cast a despairing look at the ceiling. "I'm not sure which is worse."

Fred grabbed another frog leg and asked, "Do I become mayor of L.A.?"

"Unforunately, no, sugar buns. It's a narrow decision, but you lose the election. The good news is that Wesley voted for you, so true love wins out. Or it would have, anyway, because you two would have gotten engaged and then married by the end of the season."

Wesley and Fred both smiled in satisfaction. Lorne's next words, however, quickly wiped the smile off of Wesley's face.

"Then there's this cutting-edge male-pregnancy plot that I thought could work great for either Angel or Wesley. I was going to make you two fight over who got to play out all the drama of morning sickness and swollen feet and labor pains."

Wesley looked at Angel. "Yes, the loser of the fight would have been saddled with it."

"Ha!" said Connor. "While all of you get the crappy stuff, I bet I would have had a great storyline next season. Right?"

"Sure, you and Paige were going to be our 'Romeo and Juliet' couple," Lorne easily agreed.

Connor smirked triumphantly. Most of the others glared at him.

"I'll let you in on a little shecret. I didn't like 'Romeo and Juliet,'" Lorne confessed with a tipsy grin.

Connor's smirk disappeared as quickly as Wesley's smile had.

Lorne grabbed for the champagne bottle again, but Fred moved it out of his reach with a pointed, "Don't you think you've had enough of this?"

"Honey, I know I've had enough," Lorne admitted. He sat up straight, cleared his throat, and went on in a steadier voice. "Where was I? Oh, yeah, Gunn's babies end up being demons that turn on him, Gwen is just eye candy most of the time, and Angel regrets turning over Wolfram & Hart to Lindsey because, guess what, Lindsey develops a split personality and veers between good and evil all the time. Don't worry; eventually Kathy gets to the bottom of the mystery and fixes matters to her satisfaction. As for me, I probably would have just dropped myself down to recurring status. In most of our episodes, even the ones I wrote, I didn't have much to do." He gazed around at the horrified faces staring back at him and burst into laughter. "Oh, please, you didn't think I was serious about any of that nonsense, did you? I had a hard enough time coming up with ridiculous material for the last six episodes and convincing you all I thought it was good. I'm not about to put myself through that torture again, even in jest."

"Thank God!" Gunn said fervently.

"Yep, like I said before, I'm relieved to be done with it all," Lorne concluded. "We'll move on to other projects and we'll be fine."

The party resumed, much more festive now that everyone knew Lorne's ridiculous scripts had been deliberately awful; the frog legs swiftly vanished, and the champagne flowed freely (except in the case of Lorne, who had cut himself off). Finally, everyone had had their fill.

"Guess this is it," said Gunn, looking around the table. "I'm going to miss you guys. Well, most of you, anyway, not naming names."

"We'll all have to keep in touch," Fred decided. "Exchange phone numbers, addresses, all of that stuff."

She found a stray piece of paper and set about scribbling down copies of her contact information; the others immediately followed suit. In the middle of this task, the phone rang.

"I'll get it," said Lorne, who was nearest. He picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

While he dealt with the caller, everyone else traded phone numbers and addresses. A moment later, Lorne hung up the phone.

Wesley turned to him. "We need your information, Lorne. ... Lorne, did you hear me?"

"Who was on the phone?" Angel prompted.

Lorne was rocking back and forth, trembling. "It was the network. They analyzed the ratings for our final episodes and they said... they said...."

"What? What did they say?" Buffy demanded.

"Key demos were up 46% overall, with a 114% increase in the last episode alone," Lorne reported in a low voice. "They said they changed their minds and since we're still under contract, they want us to come back for a sixth season."

"That's great news!" Fred cried, but Lorne began to quiver more violently. "It is great news, isn't it?" Fred asked tentatively.

"No! No, it is not!" Lorne shouted, sounding near tears. "Do you realize what this reprieve means? I have to come up with 22 more episodes that, in the words of our boss, 'live up to the standards set by the most recent six.' Twenty-two more horrible episodes! I don't think I have it in me!"

The End