Author: J.A.K.
Rating: R
Author's Notes: This story starts in the middle of Tonks and Harry's relationship. There will be a few flashbacks alluding to situations and events that happened in the past between the two, but I felt it best to start here because the crux of this story lies in them being together not in how they came to be together. I also wanted to warn everyone that this is a darker Harry; less like the one written in books 1 through 4 and more like the Harry written in book 5.
Chapter One
It was wrong. It went against the moral code of conduct that had been etched in stone since the beginning of formal education, restricting how familiar a teacher and student could become. The issue, if ever it arose, was black and white. Harry shrugged however, knowing to himself that most people referred to things as 'black and white' not realizing that the term was just a more convoluted way of saying grey.
He watched, with minor traces of a smile forming on his lips, as the woman who was currently his lover, walked up and down the small stage of space that was especially made for teacher's who liked to lecture while pacing.
Pacing.
A verb set aside for enthusiastic professor's; professor's who couldn't present their points—of whatever subject they were discussing to the class—in a seat, but had to stand and move in order to convey what the correct flick of one's wrist looked like, or reenact an event that happened hundreds of years ago.
Right now Tonks wasn't pacing because she was overly keen about the topic she was talking about, but rather, because of the way his eyes had refused to leave hers since he'd entered the room.
It was a little game he'd felt like playing today. How long could she remain cool while he watched her with a stare that he knew said: I want you.
Balance was not one of her strong points. In fact, many who had ever been graced by her presence, had labeled her clumsy. But when Nymphadora Tonks stepped in front of the classroom, possession of every limb, stroke, and movement was hers.
As time wore on, however, and as she tried to look everywhere but at him, he knew he had finally won his game when she called for a two minute break. There were no eyebrows raised at the sudden interruption in lecture. Instead, everyone felt break's like these to be customary by now, and fell into their usual routines. People broke off into pairs of two's and three's and tried to repeat what they'd just been implicitly told to do.
He, however, took this as his chance to see what Tonks was up to. Walking towards the doorway, Harry was unprepared for Hermione's sudden ambush.
"Where are you off to Harry?" He'd known that she was present in class, along with Ron and a fraction of those who had made it to this level of Defense Against the Dark Arts training; but this was the first time he'd actually spoken to her since the day began—too anxious was he to get to his first and only enjoyable class of the day. Her arms were folded against her chest and her tone was whispered. The look of suspicion in her eye alerted Harry that he needed to be careful of how he responded. Hermione was too smart and perceptive a friend for him to be anything less than careful.
"I have to use the bathroom," He tried to put on his best annoyed face, "Is that okay by you?"
Her eyes narrowed even more and she moved closer to him, talking with a conspirator's tone while she held his elbow and led them to a secluded corner of the classroom.
"Do you think I haven't noticed how you follow her practically every time she leaves the room for one of her "breaks?" She held her fingers up and made a quotation sign around the aforementioned word. Her eyes searched his, and he purposely kept it and his face as blank and confused as possible.
Harry folded his arms against his chest.
"What are you going on about this time Hermione?" His voice sounded exasperated, and though he knew the chances of this happening were slim to none, he hoped with a rushed sense of fervor that she would back off.
Harry watched her as she watched him, and saw when her eyes left his and moved to meet Ron's. His gaze was simple to catch because he was easily the tallest person in the classroom. Ron looked as if he were silently questioning her. His eyebrows were raised and he made a subtle gesture that pointed in Harry's direction. Hermione shook her head and centered her attention back on him.
So…they were in on it together. This was something they had previously discussed. This was a planned intervention. Harry felt a glimmer of his resolve crack under Hermione's accusatory eyes.
This was no freaking good, was what it was. They knew; they just wanted him to admit it to them so they could verify how much they knew.
"Harry—" she began again, but he cut her off.
He bent his head near her ear, as he too had gradually become considerably taller since the end of fourth year, and whispered tightly:
"What do you want me to say?" Harry leaned back and stared directly into her eyes "So what?" He leaned even further back and moved, so that they were shoulder to shoulder and that he was facing the door. "Because whatever you have to tell me, I'm just going to tell you, so…fucking…what."
Harry heard her gasp in surprise at his choice of words, and he felt a twinge of regret. Hermione truly was one of his best friends and he had hated not telling her something so important to him for so long; but for all the feelings of regret that he was experiencing, they were really, only a twinge.
He was Harry freaking Potter after all, the Boy who lived; the boy who'd had his life mapped out for him before he'd had a chance to live it. Well, his relationship with Tonks wasn't one of those things that simply fell into line. One that was written next to the part where it said that he would weaken Voldemort, allow himself to be used by the entire wizarding community, and then kill Voldemort.
Since Sirius's death he'd been numb with pain. He had eventually moved on from the pain, and instead of being just numb, he was numb and unimpressed by life.
Tonks had made a difference, though. She'd left and was still leaving a large impression on his life; when he was with her, he wasn't dead inside.
But they wouldn't get that. They would never understand what it took to be him…Harry Potter. They would never understand how much this relationship meant to him.
What they would do, instead, was ask him if he was in love, and for that, he wouldn't have an answer, because love wasn't important here; and they would never ever understand that. They would never understand that the only thing that truly mattered was that Tonks was good for him because she, very simply, made him feel.
AN 2: Should I continue? I mean I just had this idea after my sister told me about her thoughts for her fanfic, so the whole thing was written on the spur of the moment. Let me know; if not, it can be a cute one-shot, right? By the way, if I do carry on, this will become a rather involved story. Thanks for reading.
Remember: Embrace the ship of Tonks and Harry forever!!!