Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Artemis Fowl or Ranma ½ in any way shape or form.

Midday in Nerima Japan

Artemis Fowl was irritated. He wasn't quite angry yet, but enough to chew out the waitress who was trying to be pleasant and serve him. It was unfortunate that this waitress did not like to be bullied, especially by someone younger than her.

"Get out of my restaurant now!" And with that statement she managed to throw Artemis and Butler out of the restaurant, effectively embarrassing both of them. She was very temperamental and it looked like she could hold her own in a fight, especially with that giant spatula strapped on to her back.

Butler struggled to hide a smirk. For the first time a waitress was not at all intimidated by Artemis. She seemed unimpressed with Artemis's large vocabulary and the fact that he could speak Japanese flawlessly, despite the fact that he was obviously a foreigner. Maybe the experience would teach Artemis to not act the way he did around people he thought himself superior to. But that was too much to ask.

"Disgraceful; throwing customers out like that."

Aside from being thrown out of the restaurant by the strange girl, Nerima really seemed to be a peaceful town. Maybe that was why Artemis was angry, Butler's contact seemed to have gotten the information wrong. There was no way Nerima was as chaotic as his contact described.

"Butler perhaps it is time that we head home. There doesn't seem anything leading to-"

Artemis was cut off by a tiny figure in maroon rushing past him, who appeared to holding a green sack overflowing with- women's lingerie?

"Come back here you little pervert! Slow down so I can beat the crap out of you!" The words were spoken by a boy who looked to be no older than seventeen, with a black hair pulled into a small braided pigtail in the back. While he seemed to be out of energy, the angry horde of women behind him seemed to be bursting with it. They trampled over the boy leaving him a twitching mass of bones and flesh on the sidewalk. Artemis was pushed against the wall by Butler before the crowd trampled him as well. Well, maybe Butler's contact wasn't so wrong after all.

Artemis watched in fascination as the boy who was trampled simply pick himself up, with out any injuries; give or take a few bruises. It was then a fire hydrant broke drenching Artemis, Butler and the boy. Then the boy turned into a girl.

Artemis blinked a few times to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating. After the girl was still there he concluded that the boy really did turn into a girl. So there was magic here after all. But wasn't the type of magic that Artemis was looking for. It wasn't the type of magic that Artemis could exploit. But it could help.

"Umm… You guys aren't from around here are you?" The boy turned girl spoke to them, fervently hoping that they weren't looking for her. She really didn't need another set of problems today.

"No we are not. We came looking for something." Artemis responded, keeping his voice under control. Finally a possible lead.

She relaxed. So they weren't looking for her.

"So whatcha' looking' for?"

"We came here looking for information on sprites, fairies, or whatever you may call them."

"Can't really think of anywhere you might get that kind of information; 'cept maybe the old ghoul, but she would want something in return."

"I can provide any sum of money."

"Naw, I'm willing to bet that she won't want money. If anything she'll ask me to marry her granddaughter, which I'm not doing."

Artemis almost groaned in exasperation. Almost. It would be out of character for him to do such a thing, so he did not. Maybe there was another way to get the information that he was seeking, other than simply asking.

"Maybe we won't have to ask for information."

The girl laughed. It was so funny to think that one could steal from the old ghoul, after all, whatever traps that the old ghoul laid on her chest of magical artifacts could kill the person who tried to open it the wrong way.

"Even if you managed to steal her chest of magical artifacts I doubt that you would be able to tell what the artifacts do. Some of the stuff can be pretty dangerous."

Artemis smirked. It was not a good smirk. "That is why you are coming with me to my manor in Dublin, Ireland, to help me figure out what all the contents do. Once I steal it of course."

"Sure, buddy. If you manage to steal it. I'm not going because the waitress there is a little too pushy. The old ghoul lives in a restaurant that says C-cat Café. Word of advice though, don't tell her that your interested in that old wooden chest of hers (now that sounds wrong) or she'll guard it even more so that usually does. But if you're boneheaded enough to do that than it's your problem not mine."

"I must be going now Miss-"

"My name's Ranma Saotome and I ain't no Miss!"

Artemis blinked. That was… strange. Meanwhile Butler chuckled to himself. It was very amusing to watch the red head snap at Artemis, despite the fact that Artemis was his employer and could dock his pay for several months. Maybe it was better not to laugh…

---

Ranma went down the street in hopes of getting some hot water. He almost pounded the boy who called him a girl but restrained from it; reminding himself that he was new to the town and did not know about the curse. If only he could find the cure to this horrible curse. Then he could be a man among men and escape the seppeku contract with his mother. His life would be so much simpler without the curse to complicate things. It only brought trouble; it was something everyone held over him, including his own father. Ah, what a sad existence Ranma Saotome lived.

Ranma arrived in his home for the past year: the Tendou Dojo. Hopefully the stove was working and Akane hadn't used it for one of her cooking disasters. Ranma stepped in the house quietly, he didn't want to disturb anyone; he had a bad feeling that something horrible was going to happen.

"Quiet, he should be coming soon!"

"Let's just get this over with, it's not like he's going actually pay attention."

"I don't think we should be doing this to Ranma."

"Quiet Kasumi! You do want to see the schools joined once and for all now don't you?"

"That jerk had better marry me!"

It was his Pops and the Tendous. From the sound of it, they were trying to force him into wedlock again. Everyone else seemed all for it except for Kasumi. She really was a nice girl. She always had acted like the mother that Ranma would envision when things got tough on the training journey with Pops. He should break her out of her role as a servant for her family, but she always seemed so happy 'doing her duty for her family'. It reminded him of the times he spent on the road with his Pops, always doing the laundry, making dinner, and cleaning the dishes. But his father was not as gracious to completely ignore him like Kasumi's family. No his father's daily routine consisted of insulting his son, gorging himself on the few rations they had, beating his son to a pulp, and sometimes stealing a nearby town of its meager possessions. And he considered himself honorable.

Maybe it was about time to break out of this existence that caused him so much misery. He would take Kasumi along with him so she too, could choose her own path.

"Psst. Kasumi, over here." Ranma's voice was a mere whisper, so it wouldn't attract the attention of anyone else.

Kasumi with her sharp hearing took notice of Ranma's voice, and quickly positioned herself so she could hear Ranma better.

"Hey sis, why are you moving closer to the window?"

"Oh, I just want to see the sun set, it looks like it will be really pretty tonight." Kasumi quickly fibbed hoping that her sister would not catch on to her tiny white lie. And since she was Kasumi, her older sister who was so innocent, she believed her.

"Kasumi I need to talk to you outside. Make up an excuse to get out."

Kasumi thought for a moment and thought of a way to get out of the house.

"Oh my!"

"What is it Kasumi?" Soun Tendou looked at his eldest daughter through tears of happiness. His little girl Akane was going to get married!

"I need more rice for the wedding feast. There is a sale at the market today, so think I should go out and buy some before the sale is over. After all, I wouldn't want to spend too much."

"Ah yes the wedding feast! Go Kasumi! Buy the food that will feed the newly wed couple tomorrow. So we can all celebrate the glorious union between the two schools!" Genma Saotome shouted. And so I can gorge myself to the fullest after finally getting that useless son of mine to do something useful. Although that part was left unsaid.

After that cheerful response Kasumi took her grocery bag and money pouch and headed outside where Ranma was hiding.

"Ranma, where are you?" She whispered her question for her family was still waiting for Ranma to come home.

"Over here Kasumi." Ranma was just around the corner.

"Ranma you must not come back! The rest of the family is conspiring to force you into marrying Akane."

"I heard. Look hopefully I can disappear for the next couple of weeks. Do you want to come with me?"

"Oh no Ranma, I could never leave my family. They rely on me so much."

Ranma sighed. He knew that Kasumi wouldn't go with him.

"Yeah, leaving them with Akane's cooking would be too harsh of a punishment. Well, I'll be contacting you."

"See you later Ranma." Kasumi said as Ranma hopped away, heading towards the Cat Café. She then headed over to the market. Their family really was running low on rice and there was a sale at the market.

---

Ranma hopped over to the Cat Café in hopes of finding that guy he met earlier. He was a little creepy, yes, but compared to Kodachi, he was perfectly normal. He saw the boy with his very tall friend beside him.

"Hello." The words were whispered and Butler immediately took out his gun and pointed it at Ranma.

"Woah, hold on a second buddy. Ya might want to think twice before you shot me." Ranma's voice was cocky, as if he knew that he could easily take down the almost seven foot manservant.

Butler grunted. This kid was too cocky for his own good.

"I had thought that you would not accompany me to the old woman's establishment." Artemis said while readying his night vision goggles. Soon night would fall and they would have to carefully sneak into the woman's establishment. Artemis shifted slightly; it was starting to get uncomfortable staying in the same position for too long. Although Artemis had a feeling that he had done this sort of thing before, but couldn't quite place when. Artemis sneaked a glance towards Ranma, still in his female form. How was it possible that a boy could turn into girl? This girl must be more experienced with magic than both Butler and himself and would be ideal to have around when testing the things found inside the woman's old wooden box of magical items.

"So I take it you will be joining Butler and myself to my manor once we are successful stealing the magical artifacts of this old woman?"

"Yeah, I need someplace to hide for the next couple of months anyway."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. Ranma saw this and took it as a gesture to go on.

"I'm engaged to this girl, Akane. I don't want to marry her 'cause she's a sexist tomboy with an extremely violent temper. Half the time she hits me for no reason and I can't hit back cause I can't hit girls. Now my family and most of hers are trying to force us to get married. She seems all for the idea but I'm not spending the rest of my life with her!"

"I see." In truth Artemis wasn't really paying attention. He was just waiting for it to be late enough so they could carry out their plan. Usually Artemis would pay attention to all the little comments that every one made, it was just part of his character, but today he felt a certain weariness seeping into his bones making him feel very much like an old man. He had considered stopping this silly mission of his. After all he was fifteen years old, he shouldn't believe in such childish things as magic; but then again Artemis never really was a child.

As the hours passed Ranma was growing bored quickly. He passed the time by trying to keep track of all the fiancés he had in the past. The first three were obviously Shampoo, Ukyo, and Akane. This list kept Ranma busy for quite a while.

When it was finally one in the morning Butler said: "It's time to move." Ranma was only half way through his list.

Artemis and Ranma quietly snuck into the restaurant. When they both got in, they could hear the loud snoring of what sounded like a train running into a truck.

"Woah, I didn't know Cologne could snore so loud. In fact I never knew she could snore at all."

"Who's Cologne?"

"The old ghoul."

"Ah."

They both crept into the back storeroom of the restaurant, Artemis trying to be as quiet as possible which quite frankly wasn't working that well. Every other minute he stepped on a squeaky board or knocked over something. He was thankful that the snoring covered up any noise he made.

Soon however the trunk was stolen and they quickly made their way to Fowl Manor where Artemis hoped to make some discovery that would further him in his search for fairy magic.

-------------------

Instant Green Tea: Ay! I've finally finished! I am so happy.

To the Ranma fans that are reading this: the rest of the Ranma characters or Nerima in general will not appear much in the story. In fact I'm trying to keep the Ranma universe out this as much as possible since this is posted in the Artemis Fowl section and if it was a full crossover than I would have to put it in the crossover section, right? There will be small appearances from time to time but when you live the life that Ranma lives do really think that you will be able to escape it that easily?

To people that have no idea what Ranma ½ is: It's not that hard to get. All you have to keep in mind is that he's a boy that turns into a girl, has a lot of fiancés, and leads a very chaotic life that is full with magic. He's also a very accomplished martial artist and has mastered techniques that seem to defy the laws of reality. If you want a description of how Ranma looks like here it is:

Ranma Saotome (Male):

Black hair tied back into a braided pigtail in the back, about '5 ''11, light complexion, blue-grey eyes.

Ranma Saotome (Female):

Red hair tied back into a braided pigtail in the back, about '5 ''1, light complexion, bright blue eyes.

One thing to keep in mind: Ranma's very sensitive about his masculinity and makes a big deal when it's threatened. Can we say closet case?