Chapter 10

Part 25

An ocean of shadows surrounded him. In every corner there was darkness and not a single flame of light to help him find a way back. He knew that somewhere, he was still alive, but the teenager was having a difficult time returning to the realm of reality where he lived life as a boy named Cloud. He couldn't feel anything, hear anything, let alone see anything. Yet he sensed the presence of another near by. Who's here? He asked himself. He couldn't remember anything that happened except that he had passed out.

Cloud felt himself in a place where he was conscious to himself, but not to the outside world. He wasn't dreaming, but he was sure he couldn't seem to wake up. All he knew was that he felt pain everywhere. He wasn't sure whether it was all physical pain, for it hurt too much to differentiate.

His mind melted into a haze of mist as he felt himself slip into the depths of the shadows. He tried to feel at ease as he slept soundlessly, however he was at conflict. He brought himself out from slumber as he tried to remember what is causing him so much grief. Before him, the blackness twitched like static colors on an old television screen. He squinted through the adjusting colors running before him chasing away the shadows with every wave of light. He caught himself watching in awe as a picture began to form in front of him.

Suddenly beneath him, a ground began to form. He felt himself falling and rolling against the floor. Slowly, he got up and looked at where he landed. It was a small apartment room that had little furnishes. He spotted an oak table, one with a glass lamp that was covered in dust.

"That table…" he said.

A white flash burned his eyes.

He saw a plump old man fall back against the old decrepit oak table. He watched as the glass lamp fell onto the hard ground, cracking the smooth surface to shatter into sharp pieces.

Another light blinded him. He'd return to the apartment room. "What the…"

He searched the room again, and saw a small picture frame lying on the couch. He moved towards it, drawn to the smiling faces beneath the glass. Just before he could grasp it, something had caught his eye. He looked up and gasped at the sight. On the open window, behind the cheap laces of curtain were strings of multicolored beads that swayed in the light breeze.

"It can't be," he said hoarsely as he looked down onto his wrist. On it was the same string of colored beads he had tied onto his wrist. As he stared down at the photo lying on the couch, he found himself engulfed with another wave of blinding light.

He blinked to see Cid trying to calm him down as he swung an empty beer bottle at the old man's face. He'd just seen the photo, a picture of himself with the unknown girl. As the teen backed away from the old man, his hands were tangled in beads. Realizing what they were, he angrily tore it from the windowsill and tied it onto his wrist.

Another light blinded him.

Cloud turned. To the left was the front door. To the right was a short hallway that led to the bedrooms. He walked towards the bedrooms as he stopped short sensing fear. He looked to his right as he was revealed to a bathroom. He saw himself staring at ice blue eyes just as the light swallowed him once again.

He saw the child crept slowly toward the mirror. The sight was a sickening one. His eyes were rimmed with red; its white surface was plagued with crimson veins pulsating towards his beating temples. He was a monster. A child deprived of innocence was standing before him with a sinister gaze of pure malevolence. He was terrified of the live portrait hanging against the wall before him. He screamed. A deafening silence discharged from his hoarse throat.

The light brought him back to the apartment where he stared back at himself. Looking away, he walked towards the back where two doors lay closed. He opened the first one and found a small bedroom. The windows had broken blinds, the carpet stained with years of use, the bed nothing more than a rug covered in beat pillows. The fan on the ceiling shook dangerously with a squeaking sound. He turned a heel to leave when he stopped. Someone's singing, he realized as he cautiously went to open the last door.

As he did, the strange light had stolen his vision again.

Once he could see, he was revealed to an even smaller bedroom with almost the same dirty carpets and broken fan. However, there was a bed. Someone's lying there, he figured when he saw a small lump move under the ragged covers. At the window, a harsh thunderstorm was crying in vain as lightening flashed the room frighteningly. He heard the singing coming from underneath the covers.

A little boy peeked from beneath the covers looking at something behind him. Confused, Cloud turned around and gaped at the figure standing before him. "You…it's you," he stammered in shock. She was the same girl in the photo and from his dreams he had dreamt just the night before. She came in smiling and walked toward the teenager. Just as she reached him, she vanished as the ghostly colors of the girl passed through him. "No wait! Don't go!" Cloud screamed.

He tried to grab the vanishing figure as he tripped into white blankness. He stumbled back into the apartment fumbling off the ground between the bedroom and hallway.

"Hey you," a voice said. He knew that voice. He looked to see that girl walking over to the couch where the child sat.

"You look yucky," he told her sadly. Her laugh was one more melodic than any bird's voice could ever be.

Still lying on the cold floor, Cloud closed his eyes as he felt the light overwhelm him once more. Upon opening them, he expected to be in an empty apartment room. To his surprise, he was back in the ocean of shadows where loneliness claimed him viciously.

He felt as light as a feather floating through the darkness. He could see his body that glowed lightly in the shadows, confused and alone. "What's all this suppose to mean?" he cried in vain. He twisted his fingers through his spiky blond hair. He floated off to and fro as he cried silently in the darkness.

"Just breathe."

Cloud's head instantly shot up at the voice that whispered above him. "Who's there?" he demanded. He didn't get an answer and waited as he expected for the light to come take him away. Nothing came.

"Just breathe," the Voice whispered softly.

"I don't get it," Cloud replied.

"One cannot uncover all the answers they seek. An answer is like a sickness. Once you obtain it, more questions expand throughout your mind. How can one live through such inquiry?" the Voice asked. It belonged to a female, a voice as smooth as glass, as sharp as a diamond, wise and confident, yet soft and kind.

"I don't know," Cloud answered quietly. "But I'm so damn confused! I wish I know who I am, where I come from, why I keep seeing faces…" His voice trailed into silence, a rest that hung thickly in the air.

"Wishes take time," the voice told him. "Your heart's desires will surely come, but you must be patient. Patience is but a wise virtue that is the shortest path to feat."

"I feel…" he began. "I'm so lost, I don't know if I can take it."

"You are a strong being. Your heart is one of a brave warrior. Your mind is one that cannot be won over. You can take it," the Voice advised. "But your soul… it yearns for the hearth of a flame. Your desires burn to be discovered. Patience my little wolf, you must be patient."

"How can I be if I don't even know what I'm suppose to do!" he cried. "Tell me please! What am I suppose to do?"

"Trust your instincts. Follow your heart. On the road before you lies one true path that will take you to the truth. I understand your confusion, but you mustn't let it conceal your eyes. Everything around you screams the truth. Your sight has been blinded to this, a barricade too dark to be seen in the light." The Voice sighed so softly, a sound sharper than an icicle. "The faces you see in your mind are not a figment of your imagination. My young wolf, you are seeing images of the past, visions of what you are soon to discover. I cannot tell you the identity of those faces and the story behind each vision that you must discover on your own. Do not be discouraged, you must fight little one."

"I'm not little anymore," Cloud said emotionlessly.

"A child grows upon the years they live. You've grown, but the years have been stolen from you. You are still but a child until your memories are restored," the Voice explained.

"I want to remember."

"My little wolf, you bear the weight of a thousand stars. You need both hands to carry this burden, do not reach for the answers until you are ready."

"When will I be ready?" Cloud asked.

"It draws near," the Voice stated.

Cloud looked above with widened eyes. "Those…words…" he felt a sense of familiarity, but could not place where he'd heard it. A white flash came without expecting, taking over the shadows lurking around Cloud.

He saw himself in Edea's apartment again. He was unfamiliar with this flashback as he studied the scene carefully. Cid stood before him with confused eyes. He saw himself standing in front of the plump old man looking almost like the child in the mirror did. "Stay away from the boy," the voice was rough and harsh; a voice that came out of Cloud. "It draws near."

The flash took him back into the darkness. "I…said that?" he asked uncertainly.

"Another vision?" the Voice asked.

Cloud nodded unsure whether the Voice could see him through the darkness.

"I see," the Voice began. "You did not say those words. The presence of another had taken control of your being. Do not worry yourself, in given time, you will come to understand my words, and his…"

"His…?"

The darkness began to swell around his body. The shadows slithered around Cloud's body bounding it in an endless cloak of night. His eyes lost all sense of sight as he felt his body floating away. "Wait! Who is 'he'?"

"In given time my little wolf," the Voice reassured him.

"But," he began. "When can I talk to you again?"

There was a pause as he felt himself coming to. Just before he slipped through unconsciousness, he heard her soothing voice whisper, "When you cannot see light within darkness…"

Reluctantly, he gave into his awakening as his mind returned into his body. The process was nauseating as he suppressed the need to throw up. A light breeze brushed his skin, making the little hairs on his arm prickle. His face felt cool, something damp rubbed gently on his cheek. Instinctively, he grabbed it and to his surprise, it was a hand. It felt smooth and soft against his rough ones.

He managed to peel his eyes open. It was mid afternoon when the sun was blazing. The light burned his eyes as he squinted it shut. Blinking rapidly, he was able to glance at the outline sitting beside him. He slightly gasped as he caught a glimpse of a pool of emerald eyes.

"It's you…"