"Sea Salts to Heal."
Disclaimer: I do believe in fairies, I do! I do! I do believe in fairies, I do! I do! I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Final Fantasy or any of their characters, but I do believe in fairies, I do! I do!
Disclaimer2:The song used in the section break is "Iris" by Goo Goo dolls, which I also do not own.
Howdy, folks!
A/N: sweatdrops Woooow. I kind of figured people would be questioning the scene between Sora and Riku, but I had no idea so many people would misunderstand it or, in some cases, react negatively. I didn't want to leave a note at the end of last chapter explaining it, since I wanted to leave it up to you guys how to interpret it but…it seems now I will have to explain in. Which is okey doke. I like talking!
I wouldn't put it past myself, but would you guys honestly expect me to suddenly make it a Soriku? Like, "Tynan, I thought I was in love with you, but really all you did was make me realize I was secretly gay and in love with Sora all along?" or "I've been pining over Kairi for so long…but Riku, I have a thing for…uh…red heads. So, come here, baby."
The funny thing is, I probably would do something like that. Just not in this particular story…heh. But I do understand how easy it would be to think that. I mean, you don't know what's in my head…well, Annjirika does, but that's beside the point…and it did have all the elements of a romantic scene. (Despite the fact that…well…it came out of nowhere.)
Now, in order to help explain, it is time for an embarrassing confession: I used to be a huge Yu-gi-oh fan. I'm sure some of you were too (Or still are!). But for those of you who are not, I shall explain. In one of the seasons, the main character Yugi is forced to fight against his best friend. The best friend, Jonouchi (or Joey in the English Dub.), was being mind controlled by sexy, evil, Egyptian diabolical teen Malik (Marik in English Dub.), and was not really evil at all. However, Malik had had both of them chained to an anchor, that was made to drag the loser to the bottom of the ocean, or both of them dragged into the ocean if they didn't finish the duel in half of one hour.
Anyone confused? What does this have anything to do with my story? Well!
In the end, when Jonouchi regains control over his mind, Yugi sacrifices himself and purposely loses the duel so that he is dragged to the bottom and not Jonouchi. Jonouchi protests, cries, and tries to talk Yugi out of it. And what does Yugi do? Yugi smiles and says:
"I love you, Jonouchi."
Now. Are Yugi and Jonouchi gay? Certainly not. Well…at least not with each other. Snickers Ahem.
Or, for those less anime-inclined, try taking the relationship between Frodo and Sam of LOTR. Seems like love to me.
But what I'm trying to say is that I was always really fond of that scene, the idea that two people, who aren't family, can love each other and not be in love. On a personal level, I've always liked that between Sora and Riku. I'm sure many of you haven't, but I think the idea is plausible. They've been friends since child hood; they know each other inside out. They're inseparable, right? (Until, of course, Riku goes deushbag and decides he's really not afraid of the darkness. Yeah, sure.)
So, I guess in a sense, you can take Riku's "I love you." And change it to "I'm really, really, really fond of you." But I'm not gonna do that for you, because that would be going against…uh…my ideas and…um…stuff.
So I'll come out and say: Riku and Sora are not in love. Not in this story, at least. Sora is still in love and pining over Kairi, and Riku still feels funny in his tingly places over Tynan. None of that has changed.
Now I'm gonna hope this chapter helps to clear that up some. .
I'm also going to hope this story doesn't get deleted because it has such a huge author's note…so, moderators of the deleting story kind, please take into consideration that this note was crucial to the understanding of the story. And uh….have a candy cane.
A/N the second: Well, if any of you want to discuss anything with me, please don't hesitate in sending me an email.
This chapter is dedicated to White Evergreen, who delivered me my first real constructive criticism-filled review. I want to thank you so much for taking the time to write it. Please know how much I appreciated your opinion!
And uh…Annjirika. Heck, this entire story is dedicated to Annjirika. (glomps)
Yuffie slowly pushed open the door and peaked her head in to find that Sora was still sleeping. He slept the sleep of the exhausted, legs and arms spread, body buried in his beddings, breathing deeply. Riku had been very serious in telling them they'd need to check on him frequently, that someone would need to be with him when he awoke. But, it seemed to Yuffie, Sora wouldn't be waking up any time soon. A well Sora slept open mouthed and snored, drooled all over his pillow and woke up on the opposite end of his bed. But a sick, sad or tired Sora slept still, spent. She remembered from the Heartless years there were times when he'd come back from a battle and slept for days.
But what…what was wrong with him now? An emotional breakdown, after everything he'd been through wasn't exactly surprising but…why now? Why not months ago? If Sora had been holding all that inside…
She shut the door quietly behind her and turned, brushing her feet carefully along the hall, so not to disturb him. She prided herself in knowing exactly where the floorboards creaked, and the only person to notice her arrival was Cloud and his seriously in tuned senses, ones that she liked to credit to their childhood together. Cloud had been her most favourite baby sitter, and she'd spent hours trying to sneak up on him from behind. He'd caught her every time. She shook her head at his questioning blue eyes and moved into the room, settling herself back down on to her seat of Leon's knee. The Blue Room was quiet, all for the soft breathing of her companions as they stared at the troubled young boy sitting on the bed and waited for him to speak. She knew she hadn't missed much.
"Riku," Aerith said gently, breaking the silence. And Yuffie felt a swell of warm pride as she realized the older woman had waited for her to return. "Its alright."
They watched as Riku swallowed heavily and played with his hands, but still didn't say anything. Aerith sighed and closed her eyes, drawing out from her infinite well of patience. Cloud could do no such thing.
"Kid," He said gruffly, in a very un-Cloud like voice. "What is it, huh? Are you afraid we're going to put him down or something?"
"No." Riku replied quietly, and then, after a moment, "I thought…I didn't think he was sick anymore."
'Anymore?' Yuffie thought, and she could tell from glancing back at Leon that he was thinking around the same thing. 'This has happened before? Sora's sick?'
"Well, it looks like you thought wrong." Yuffie said in her best efforts to be cheerful. She leaned towards him. "Riku, you have to tell us what's wrong with him! Sora's our friend too remember? We wanna help him!"
"I know that." Riku sighed, and rubbed his hands with his face. "But I can't tell you what's wrong with him because I don't really know what's wrong with him. No one knew, it was just…"
"So these…these attacks." Leon looked at him seriously, his voice careful. "They've happened before?"
"Yes. But not since we were kids." Riku sighed again as they all shared a look, and hesitantly began to speak. "The door to our World was in an underground cavern off the coast of the Sea, on one of the islands where Sora and I used to play. Our parents had forbidden us from going down there, and the entrance was sealed off for almost six years. But once Sora and I reached a certain age…we wanted to know what was down there. It took us nearly a year, but we finally cleared the entrance…"
He looked up, and Aerith and Yuffie nodded encouragingly for him to continue.
"The day we had planned to go down and explore, a meteor shower hit the islands. Everyone was told not to leave their homes but Sora had a coconut tree right outside his window that he could use to sneak out when he wanted to. I told him to go by himself, and tell me all about it when he got back. He was scared because he didn't want to go alone, but I promised him he'd be okay."
He looked up again and smiled wryly. Aerith nodded slowly in understanding.
"He wasn't okay." she deduced quietly.
Riku shook his head. "The island was close to being destroyed by the time it was all over. They found Sora huddled underneath a broken down beach hut." His voice hoarsened, and he trailed off, speaking almost to himself. "He was only six years old…"
Suddenly, Yuffie understood Riku's reluctance to explain the story. She had no doubt he had probably been blaming himself. She opened her mouth the reassure him, and just as quickly closed it, knowing he'd probably heard it wasn't his fault more times than she had fingers.
"After that," He continued. "The attacks started, but they only ever happened when he was away from home or anyone he loved was away from home. He would panic, struggle, sometimes hallucinate. He was so terrified of being alone, he couldn't be left alone…" He trailed off, and then lifted his fingers into the air. "Then, when he was ten, we had another meteor shower, exactly like the last one. His parents were terrified. How would Sora react to having to experience the same trauma again? But then…" He flicked his fingers together. "Snap. They got less violent, and eventually disappeared. I stopped being careful, and eventually stopped thinking about them until…"
"Today." Yuffie finished for him, shocked. "But that doesn't even make sense, I mean…wouldn't have all…all this." She waved her arms around. "The darkness and the Keyblade and having to fight me in a tournament. All that stress, wouldn't it have…"
"That's what I thought." He told her. "The first time I'd seen him since our World was destroyed, I was so scared…but he was… normal. And that's when I saw the Keyblade."
There was silence, and then Leon spoke. "So the Keyblade…"
"Is what was keeping him together, yeah." Riku frowned thoughtfully. "The second meteor shower was when our friend Kairi came to the Island. When this whole…" He paused for words. "…ordeal really started. And I think, maybe, that's when the Keyblade chose Sora, and not me instead. But now…" He sighed. " The Keyblade is losing its purpose… And I think he's slowly losing hope that he's ever going to see Kairi again and I…I haven't been spending much time with him lately. And that's…well, that's all he has that reminds him of home."
There was another silence, this one much longer, and finally Yuffie said, "So what does this mean?"
Riku remained silent, and then said quietly,
"I think it means we need to go home."
AndI'dgiveupforevertotouchyou'causeIknowthatyoufeelmesomehowyou'retheclosesttoheaventhatI'lleverbeandIdon'twannagohomerightnowandallIcantasteisthismoment
The silver haired boy watched, distraught, as ten minutes later they all filed out of the room. He'd listened patiently as each one of them had informed him it was impossible for him to go home, that even if Sora could open the barriers with the Keyblade, there would be no way for them to travel from World to World, and even if they could, there would be no way they'd be able to find their World without running out of supplies. Yuffie, at least, had been a little sympathetic, and Aerith had even offered to look around in the Library for them. But Riku had been a hopeless enough child to know what the look in their eyes meant. Adults, unwilling to crush his spirit but seriously doubting him all the same, were people he'd grown up with.
"Well, I don't think you're insane." Tynan said quietly, standing by the edge of the bed and watching as he pounded his head repeatedly into a pillow.
"Thanks." He muttered into the pillow, waving a hand unenthusiastically in her direction.
She smiled and walked around the bed, sitting down on the other side. "No, really. I think if you use your rapier wit and oozing charm on the barriers enough, they'll let you through and tell you where your World is." She told him.
"Oh, humour? I get it, ha hah." He grumbled and flipped on to his back, glaring at her through frizzy and mussed bangs. "Nice, very nice. Now, go off and make fun of me with them." He shooed her. "Go on."
She sighed. "Riku…"
"Don't Riku me." He murmured, burying his face back into the pillow. He listened to the clock tick and the sound of her shifting, and he was about to tell her to leave for real when he felt a warm pressure against his back. He lifted his head and stared, but she wasn't looking at him, concentrating completely on her hand stroking up and down his spine. She was leaning forward on one hand, eyebrows narrowed, frowning with intensity, as if touching someone this way was something she'd only ever seen someone else do, and had never done it herself.
"What are you doing?" He murmured, his eyes sliding shut as her hand trailed up his back and brushed along his neck.
"Comforting you." She informed him, stroking the hairs at his neck. "Don't say anything."
Her tone was brisk, but the last words were almost pleading. He blinked at her for a few moments longer, unsure, and then finally lowered his head. She continued to rub his back and neck, and as time went by she became more confident, increasing the pressure and letting her hand linger in some places. Finally, she shifted so she was sitting cross-legged beside his stomach, and brought her other hand up into his hair.
His breathing hitched, and he was very, very caught between affection and shock. She was trying to comfort him…she was touching him…touching him willingly, putting away all her inhibitions just for…for him…
She moved silently, listening to the tiny sounds he made and using them to judge where he felt best. There was some sort of power coming from his back into her fingers, letting her continue, and continue she did, the clock ticking by unnoticed. But then, there was a moment when her hands paused, and he groaned in protest, pressing his head into her hand as if to keep them glued together. She blinked.
"Is…is this okay?" She asked quietly, continuing to run her hand through his hair.
He sighed. "Yeah. This is okay. But don't…"
He tilted his face away as her nails scratched against his scalp, giving her more area to work. She flushed deeply, wondering how anyone could enjoy being simply touched this much. But he sounded happy and his muscles were deeply relaxed, as far as she could tell. And his skin was warm beneath the thin material of his shirt, and he felt…and she was feeling, so good that she figured not even a flaming ball of inferno could stop her now.
"Don't worry." She told him, finally pulling back. She kept an arm resting across his back, and peered into his hidden face. "Hey, you."
He tilted his head so his cheek pressed against the bed and looked at her.
"We'll think of something, okay? I mean…Sora's the Keyblade Master, and Aerith's really smart and Leon could maybe glare the town into helping out too, and Yuffie will whip us all into shape and you're sorta good looking, so…"
"You're babbling." He murmured, his eyes warm, and she blushed.
"Sorry." She said hurriedly, and his smile widened.
"You called me good looking." He said, and she noticed suddenly that his voice sounded deeper, more pleasant.
"What? I did no-"
He tilted his head upwards and brushed his lips over her cheek, and Tynan made an odd little squeaking noise and scooted away from him. He smiled lazily at her and watched as she clasped her hand over her cheek, eyes slowly widening and cheeks reddening. He sat up and chuckled, running a hand through his hair.
"Sorry." He said, with the air of someone who isn't that sorry. "You look really, really cute when you blush."
"Cute?" Tynan scurried off the bed, pulling the hood of her sweater over her head. He watched with that same lazy smile as she hurried from the room, head ducked low, and chuckled.
He decided then that he would have to find reasons to need comfort more often.
andallIcanbreathisyournameandsoonerorlateritsoverIjustdon'twannamissyoutonightandIdon'twanttheworldtoseeme'causeIdon'tthinkthatthey'dunderstandwheneverything
Leon knew what was coming. There were clear signs; the way she shifted in her seat, how she looked around the room and then glanced at him, the way she tapped her thumbs together. He sat across from her at the table, enjoying the silence their room rarely provided, elbow propped against the table and cheek against hand as he watched and waited for her to speak. He'd learned how to wait. Her tirades were completely unpreventable.
"There must be something." She burst out, leaning across the table towards him.
"There's nothing." He replied firmly, straightening. "If there was, we would have thought of it before."
"The Keyblade has to be able to do something!" She protested, pounding her fist into the table. "How did they all get here in the first place?"
"Sora doesn't know." Leon said, a tad impatiently. "Yuffie, we've talked about this before."
There was silence.
"There are other dock towns, like Traverse, out there, right? Other Worlds that would let them land and buy food and stuff?"
He sighed. "Yuffie…"
"And Cid is a friggin' gummy expert. He could build one and then they could—"
"Yuffie, enough." He leaned across the table and touched her cheek. "...enough."
She stared at him and bit her lip. The patience in his voice and the gentle touch of his hand was enough of a sacrifice on his part to make her listen. He nodded slowly; repeating the very things he'd told Riku, the same things he'd just said to her, but all Yuffie could really hear was cannot be done and impossible. Sora was sick. Sora was really sick. And when had Leon and Aerith and Cloud begun to give up so easily?
"I'm still getting Cid to build a gummy ship." She murmured, once he'd finished and got up to start making dinner, leaving her alone at the table with her thoughts. "To keep him from getting fat if nothing else." She lifted a finger into the air to silence him when he turned to speak. "Shut it, Squall! What can it hurt?"
He closed his mouth and his eyes, lifting his shoulders as he turned back to the stove. "Nothing, I guess."
"Right. We agree. We agree I'm right about everything." She turned to face him with her eyebrows raised.
"Yes, yes, we agree." He muttered, waving a hand. She slumped in disappointment that he hadn't taken her bait. "And no, you can't help. Stay away from the stove and all the knives."
"Jerk." She muttered, and he smiled.
madetobebrokenIjustwantyoutoknowwhoIamandyoucan'tfightthetearsthatain'tcomin'allthemomentthetruthinyourlieswheneverythingfeelslikethemoviesyeahyou'dbleed
"Add salt." Cloud frowned at the recipe book in front of them. "Now why the hell would you add salt to sugar cookies?"
"Cloud." Aerith put one hand on her hip and glared from high up on the ladder, where she was searching for books in the taller shelves. "Keyblade. Barriers. Destiny Islands. We are not looking for dessert recipes."
"It's an old recipe book." He showed her the book in his hands. For all that it was crusty, dusty and falling apart, it could very well have been a book on those serious topics. "It deceives and then hooks." He put it back in the pile of books he'd collected and picked up another one. "Aerith, I'm hungry and I'm tired. We've been here for nearly four hours."
"Just a little more." She said distractedly, frowning down at a book in her hands. "I think I'm almost in the right section. Look, this book is on Ansem before his experiments went wrong."
"Well…" He dropped his legs from the table and stood. "How about I get us some food and bring it back here?"
"Good idea." She nodded. Cloud sighed and shook his head, moving out from between the rows of ancient, dusty books. There was no helping her when she felt passionate about something, and he knew Aerith would probably set up camp there if she could. Her resolve made him feel a little guilty about his thoughts, and he didn't have the heart to tell her she probably wouldn't find anything. He knew she already knew that.
Still…After all Sora had done…
"Sir?"
Cloud blinked at the girl standing behind the counter and shook his head.
"Yeah, sorry." He contemplated the menu, and pulling out his wallet, ordered two number 3s.
Maybe they would find something.
justtoknowyou'realiveandIdon'twanttheworldtoseeme'causeIdon'tthinkthatthey'dunderstandwheneverything'smadetobebrokenIjustwantyoutoknowwhoIamwhoIam.
The air was stiff and musty when Riku opened the door to his and Sora's room, and with a frown he crossed the carpeted floor to the window, pushing it open a little. Cool, fresh air wafted in and Riku smiled, enjoying the feel of it, until he heard Sora shift in bed behind him. He walked to the bed calmly, dropping himself in the chair beside it. Sora breathed deeply, stretching his arms above his head, and blue eyes fluttered open, zoning in on Riku immediately.
"Riku!" He pushed himself up. "Riku, I had—"
"It wasn't a dream." Riku replied quietly, leaning over and pushing down on Sora's shoulders until he was forced to lie back down.
"Oh." Sora said, and immediately his mouth opened and his glazed eyes cleared a little. "Oh."
They sat in silence for a long time, Riku watching as Sora shifted uncomfortably as hurtful memories long forgiven came floating back, hands gripping his blankets and sheets. Riku looked away and sighed deeply when blue eyes turned on him, sad and hurt and a little accusatory.
"Sorry." He murmured, and Sora looked away, not looking any more reassured. What else could Riku say? "Sora, I—"
Sora's hands shifted over the blankets and Riku practically jumped when he grabbed his wrist. He stared, and Sora smiled weakly. "It's okay."
He tugged on Riku's wrist and Riku obeyed, climbing over Sora and lying down at his side, shoulders touching, looking out the window together for a long time, Riku struggling with his broken promises, memories hurting him too, and Sora slowly regaining forgiveness and trust and happier memories until he was feeling good enough to nudge his best friend's shoulder playfully with his own. Riku nudged back, and before long they were pushing and shoving and snorting, and moving with the sort of synchronization only two people who are closer than friendship and love and good and evil, who are part of each other, can achieve.
When they stopped, Sora dropped his head to the pillow and Riku did too, and their hair touched, and he breathed hard. "Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" Riku gasped for his own breath, stomach aching from their movement and laughter, but heart not aching because through the movement and laughter, somehow, everything had been fixed.
"You think…" He turned to look at him. "You think we'll…get to go home?"
Riku looked away in thought, and then looked at the ceiling. Riku was habitually looking at nowhere for answers to his questions; the horizon and the sky and the floor and the ceiling, so Sora just looked at him and waited, because no matter how hard he looked he'd never been able to see what Riku saw there.
"I think…" Riku turned to him and smiled. "I think we're gonna try."
"Ah…" Sora lifted his hand up so that it floated between and above them. "Promise?"
Riku stared at his hand, hearing the mischievousness in his voice and the meaning too, and then he grinned, lifting up his own hand and slapping Sora's, hard, so that the brunet protested, and he nodded.
"Promise."
Hiyaaaa! Review. This is almost done guys…almost…done. Can I do it? We'll have to wait and see. Looooooove. Love love love and cookies and milk and um…pocky. (But what is pocky?)