Summary: When a youko thief is caught stealing precious items, Cyoa joins Kurama and Hiei in capturing her. But Cyoa and the thief are mysteriously connected?! How?! this is my 1zt fic, so plz b nise 2 me. no flames god don't sumeriez suk?

"Ooh, perfect!" Botan exclaimed. "My turn!"

"All I've written is the summary," Shizuru protested. "At least let me start the story."

Botan pouted. She had wanted to start the story, but then again, she had lost the Rock-Paper-Scissors game. She had hoped that letting Shizuru write the summary would have tricked the bigger girl into letting her start, but, alas, no such luck.

"Riiight," Shizuru began, thinking out loud. "Cyoa needs a mysterious and implausible background, with an amazing coincidence connecting her to Kurama, Hiei or both."

"Maybe she was a Youko thief in a previous life," Genkai suggested, from her spot in front of the TV. She was currently kicking the collective butts of Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama in Dragonball Z: Budokai.

Kurama frowned, as his Trunks was currently being stomped into the ground by Genkai's Great Saiyaman. "You know, for all the viewers know, I'm completely unique. There's no proof any other youko existing. I could just be a regular old fox. I am a shapeshifter, you know."

"Do they?" Keiko asked, juggling Puu and a book on her lap. "I mean, they only mention you shapeshifting in your very first appearance."

"Okay, so we got a youko thief," Yusuke interrupted. He pulled his Goku away from the beating Saiyaman was giving Trunks, and proceeded to launch a Kamehameha at Yamcha, played by Kuwabara, who quickly performed a Wolf Wind as a counter.

Trunks died.

"Damn," Kurama commented to no one.

"Okay, youko thief," Kuwabara agreed. "Let's say she stole Kurama slash Hiei's..."

"Teddy bear," Shizuru snickered.

"Teddy WHAT?" Hiei demanded, from his spot on the window sill. "And put the girl with Kurama, he's more popular in the anime anyways."

"You're just bitter because I'm drawn better than you."

"Shut up and lose your stupid video game."

"What is a teddy bear?" Yukina repeated.

"It's a toy that human children use for comfort," Kuwabara explained, turning away from the game... and giving Yusuke ample opportunity to perform the Spirit Bomb. "Men like us aren't supposed to use them, though. Aw, geez, Urameshi, that's cheating!"

"Should've hit the pause button," Genkai chided. "Ready for sudden death, boy?"

"Dig your grave, Grandma, you'll be rolling in it soon."

"Okay," Shizuru said.

Kurama sighed as he lamented the loss of his prized teddy bear pajamas. They had been stolen by a stunningly beautiful youko thief more than eighteen billion centuries ago, because he's just that old. The youko thief had been a bitch for stealing his jammies, but he still secretly lusted after her anyway.

Botan giggled insanely. "It's sad, but I can really see Kurama in teddy bear pajamas."

"With a hood, and footsies," Yusuke snorted.

Kurama groaned. "Why am I always the singled out one, anyway? I always get my tail kicked, even when I win, I get mistaken for a woman at least once, and I have to do all the emotional kills. And I have to be suicidal, like, once an arc. And I have to know everything two episodes sooner than the rest of you." He sighed. "It's so unfair."

"Deal," Genkai snapped, Saiyaman posing like a moron on the screen.

Shizuru got up and gestured for the still-giggling Botan to take over.

The blue-haired girl smiled wickedly and began her work.

One random day out of the blue, which falls sometime between the Dark Tournament and the Sensui arc, Koenma discovered a stunningly beautiful youko thief named Cyoa was on a rampage, stealing pajamas left and right. Fearing for his own lacy, pink nightgown, he summoned Yusuke, and the others.

Except for Kuwabara, because he sucks.

"Pink? Lacy? NIGHTGOWN? How much do you hate me, Botan?" Koenma demanded.

"At least she's the only one," Kuwabara grumbled. "Everyone and their Dragonball Z-obsessed little brother hates me. Just because I'm the so- called stupid human. Newsflash, kids: you're all human, too!"

"Affection is not a good thing," Kurama said darkly.

"At least you've never been turned into a cat," Hiei added.

"Mrow?" Eikichi asked, from his vantage point on Yukina's lap. She liked to visit the Kuwabara siblings, and had become quite attached to the little kitty. "Meooooow."

"Yes, Eikichi," the ice maiden murmured. "We know how much you love Kazuma. We know what a good man he is."

Botan smiled at the little demon before turning back to their fanfiction.

Yusuke entered Koenma's office, despite only having been there once in his entire life. Or death. Koenma conveniently forgot that he usually just sent a video tape or a Botan to explain things. Yusuke was followed by Kurama and Hiei, who, when not indulging in a maddeningly hot romantic relationship, because they're just too pretty to be straight, were also conveniently taken by Cyoa-- me, the authoress!

"I don't like where this is going," Kurama commented, as Botan finished reading. "Let me go."

As the words continued to pile up, the self-same authoress harboring an undying love for certain cartoon characters smiled. She also forgot that almost no one used the terms authoress or poetess anymore, because they're considered sexist.

She quickly made up a senseless mission about catching her Cyoa, the youko- thief, and decided that as a new addition to replace the yucky Kuwabaka, the human counterpart of Cyoa would assist them as Reikai Tantei.

Koenma called Cyoa at home, where she was currently writing her fanfiction. Since it was self- oops, reader-insertion, she could do that.

"Cyoa," Koenma said. "You must help the Reikai Tantei on a new mission to catch a youko thief!"

Since you're Cyoa, do you a) accept to work with the Reikai Tantei, or b) go catch the youko thief on your own?

"Of course she'll work with Kurama," Genkai said. "Saiyaman wins again, idiot boy."

"Best two out of three," Yusuke objected.

"You're on."

Keiko just smiled as she turned a page. Yusuke was so amusing to watch. It was beyond her, why people thought she would ever hinder her beloved whatever he decided to be intentionally. She missed him, yes, and wished he would not fight all the time, but there really wasn't much she could do about it. She knew that. Yusuke had responsibilities, and she was so proud of him for not shirking them.

"Kurama," she asked. "May I go next?"

"You may."

Cyoa accepted, and the boys cheered. They were just about to leave to meet her when the door ominously opened...

Standing in the doorway was Keiko!!!

"You should spell it that English-phonetic way they do," Kuwabara commented, reaching over to scratch Eikichi's ears.

"Puu! Puu puu puu PUU!" Yusuke's spirit beast agreed.

"Oh, that's not their fault," Yukina said. "That's how they see it spelled on the television device."

"Right," Keiko said, stroking Puu's black head-fluff fondly. She loved the darling little bird-thing dearly. "I can't make fun of them for something that was done to make their lives easier. The adaption company was doing their best to make our show an enjoyable experience."

"Oh no," Yusuke muttered.

"Yusuke!" the harpy screeched. "How dare you go on a mission without telling me, never you mind you haven't had the chance!"

Nothing, said Puu, for he might as well have not existed, considering how little he appeared in fanfiction.

Kurama and Hiei deftly snuck out the non-existent back door and secret passage and decided to meet Cyoa on their own. Now they were on their own without any inferior, less attractive humans to prevent them from their passionate love affair with each other-- I mean me, the authoress. Because they're mi—er, ours. Yeah.

"The next one to mention me in a romantic relationship dies," Hiei snapped, Jagan reaching across the room's distance to read Keiko's addition. "I'm a bachelor until the last sixteen episodes of the series. Then it's questionable."

"Yeah, just like your sexuality," Kuwabara chortled.

"Hey, he's better than Kurama!" Yusuke smirked, as Goku unleashed the Kamehameha to end all Kamehameha. "The closest thing he has to a love interest is his mother."

Keiko stood up. "Would you like to go next, Hiei?" she asked sweetly, slyly glancing at the other three boys.

Hiei smirked. Not just smirked, he flat-out grinned, displaying his finely- pointed fangs.

"I would," he said, evilness evident in his deep voice.

"Uh-oh," Kurama muttered.

The clever thief slash assassin Hiei and the clever fox thief Kurama cleverly left the uncleverly guarded Reikai Compound. Once outside, they decided to somehow leave Reikai cleverly and meet the cleverly hidden Cyoa.

"I think you embellish the intelligence issue more than the fanfiction writers," Kuwabara said, mock-gently.

"Isn't that the point?" Hiei asked. "This is a parody."

Cyoa was waiting in front of Kurama's door for the clever thieves. The energy surrounding the home of the clever kitsune (AN: which is what Kurama is, didn't you know? It's like a foxy-spirity thingy. It's his species. Yeah, anyways) was oddly familiar to Cyoa. As if she had felt it in a previous life. (AN: ).

Cyoa was a little worried about the mission. Her lovely, aquamarine, unusual even in anime eyes shone with gentle concern. Her slim, sexy figure is exactly what this authoress wishes she had, so I'm sure all you preteen girls can imagine it quite well. And she had long, ankle-length purple hair, even prettier than Trunks. (AN: If you don't watch DBZ OMG Trunks is the sexiest bishounen since Youko Kurama!)

N-E-wayz, Cyoa was worried. Her memory had been blanking lately. She was having strange sensations, too. She would be somewhere and not know how she got there. Yes, I stole these symptoms from Harry Potter.

"Hiei... how do you know about Harry Potter?" Shizuru asked, amused.

"All those damned crossovers, I figured I might as well check it out."

"Hiei!" Yukina exclaimed eagerly. "Kazuma and Shizuru bought me those books; who is your favorite character?"

"...Fred and George."

"Mine too!" she cried. "It's a coincidence!"

"An interesting coincidence," Kurama snickered.

"Very interesting," Yusuke agreed.

"I'll show you interesting," Hiei snapped.

Cyoa narrowed her eyes as she sensed the approach of Kurama and Hiei. She just knew it was them. At least Kurama, that hot, sensible, un- Kuwabaralike, pretty, gorgeous, red-haired, sexy bishounen...

"How many times have you said the word 'sexy,' Hiei?" Shizuru asked, interested.

"Not as much as they do."

"True."

"Ohayou, Cyoa-chan," Kurama greeted, despite the fact that it was four in the afternoon, and he barely Cyoa.

"Konnichiwa," Cyoa answered, which should never be a response for 'Ohayou gozaimasu,' unless the clock is changing from 11:59 to 12:00. Besides that, she was busy staring at Kurama's very stare-able body.

"Where are you getting this?" Kuwabara demanded. "You've written more than anyone!"

"Anger issues," Hiei answered. "Here, I'm making myself sick, anyway."

Kuwabara settled himself in front of the screen to type.

Kurama was equally stunned by the lovely Cyoa. Her curvy body was well- proportioned and he could easily imagine having it for his own, he looked so much like a girl.

"Okay, STOP RIGHT THERE," Kurama said. "No more mentions of my appearances or I will... get violent."

Genkai glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's near eleven o'clock. Shizuru, Kuwabara, when did you say your parents would be home?"

"We didn't," Kuwabara answered. "They might as well be nonexistent, remember? I could store Urameshi in my bed for days without them noticing."

"Either way, I need to get home," Keiko said, cuddling Puu closer to her heart as she stood. "Want to come home with me, sweetie?"

"Puu!" he chirped in the affirmative.

"Me, too," Kurama said absently. "Mom's tolerant with me disappearing for days on end, but she's still a mom."

"I know, you'd think my pop has better things to do than worry about whether or not I'm home late," Koenma said. "Let's go, Botan."

"Granny, why don't you and Yukina stay here tonight?" Shizuru suggested. "Hiei and Yusuke, too. No point in going if you don't have to, right?"

"Good idea," Genkai said.

"All right then, pals: we break for now, but reconvene here at the Kuwabaras' apartment tomorrow. Got it?" Yusuke asked.

"Yeah."

"See you then! Meow!"

"Sweet dreams, dear Yukina."

"Puu!"

"Kazuma, may I please have Eikichi sleep in my bed? I don't like strange beds."

"I am NOT sharing a room with Kuwabara."

"Yusuke, make sure you sleep, don't play video games all night!"

"Quit nagging me!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND GO TO SLEEP!" Shizuru thundered.

---

Seven pages... I HAD to break it apart. Rest coming at an undisclosed time.