Series Title: The Fallen Series
Chapter Title: Going Under
Author: Tonya (tigerlily1998hotmail.com)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No own. No sue. All characters belong to the much more talented JK Rowling.
Pairings: None at the moment
Feedback: Yes please! I'm still feeling my way in this fandom!
Summary: It's the beginning of Harry's sixth year, and it's time to come to grips with everything ahead of him and everything behind him.
Dedication: Thanks to my pal Shirley for the inspiration and the read-through.
A/N: This entire series will based solely on Evanescene's "Fallen" CD hence the title. Any new spells I use in the series are simply words and phrases taken from Latin.
"So go on and scream
Scream at me, I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under"
Harry awoke to the sounds of voices and bustling beneath him. He unburied his head from his sheets and squinted over at the window where the sun's rays warmed the floor. A blind hand reached out for his glasses, nearly knocking them off the nightstand in the process. The bustling continued as Harry turned onto his back, adjusting his glasses and staring up at the slanted ceiling.
He probably missed breakfast. Possibly even lunch.
It had become routine for him to sleep through the day and not care about the warm meals he was missing in order to stay balled up under his sheets. At the beginning of his week at the Burrow, they had all tried to convince him to come down for breakfast, to simply leave the cocoon he had made for himself for a few hours. And for each of their efforts, they were met with a noncommittal response.
By the third day, they had given up and let him be, and for that he was glad.
He never in a million years would have thought he'd live to see the day when he would miss Little Whinging and his room at Number Four Privet Drive.
All summer, Harry had been left to his own devices. Apparently, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia had taken to heart the warnings from Mad Eye Moody at the end of the last term and had treated Harry the best that he could remember. Of course, the better treatment simply meant ignoring him more, but it was better than the past years of irate curses thrown in his direction by his purple-faced uncle.
He hadn't minded being ignored this summer because it meant that he could be alone. There was no one to ask him how he was holding up. There was no one to give him that "poor bloke" look he'd grown to hate. There was no one to remind him of everything he wanted to forget at the moment.
The sound of the bedroom door slowly opening pulled Harry from his thoughts. He inhaled deeply but didn't tear his eyes from the ceiling.
"You awake, mate?"
Harry glanced over at his friend, who lingered uncomfortably by the door, as if at any moment Harry would yell at him to leave. Harry frowned slightly, Ron's body language causing a painful twist of his insides.
"What time is it?" he finally asked.
"A little after four," Ron said, returning the frown.
Harry closed his eyes with a sigh and gently rubbed his scar. Even with the amount of time he had been spending in bed lately, four in the afternoon was late even for him.
"We went to Diagon Alley," Ron continued, still lingering by the door. Harry opened his eyes at this, and he saw Ron shift uncomfortably. "Mum said not to bother you. She went ahead and got your things with ours."
"She didn't have to," Harry mumbled, feeling bad about having Mrs. Weasley purchase his things.
"You plan to study without books then?" Ron teased quietly.
"I'll pay her back for the books," Harry stated, running a hand through his unruly hair.
Ron nodded. "She said you'd say that. She also said not to worry about it."
Harry simply nodded and turned his gaze back to the ceiling.
Unsettling silence enveloped the room before Ron spoke again. "Mum left a sandwich downstairs for you if you're hungry."
Harry frowned at the ceiling. "Thanks, Ron, but maybe later. I'm not hungry," he said even as his grumbling stomach argued otherwise.
"Okay," Ron replied, studying him sadly. "We're gonna go out and play a round of Quidditch if you want to join."
"Maybe later," he said quietly.
"'Kay."
There was a moment when silence engulfed the room again, and Harry was certain he'd hear Ron make another offer to get him out of his bed. But instead, he heard only the sound of his best friend slowly leaving and closing the door, shutting Harry back into his self-made solitude.
Harry scowled at the ceiling once more before turning back onto his side, his back to the door. He knew that Ron was only trying to help in his own way and he hated being so aloof with him, but Harry just didn't have it in him. He just wasn't ready to face any of his friends because facing them meant coming to terms with the end of last term, coming to terms with Sirius's death and his role in it.
Harry pulled the covers up over his head, returning to his cocoon of denial.
Harry settled into the empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, hoping to avoid all the curious stares of his fellow students. Unlike last year when he had felt disheartened at his best friends having to leave him for their first Prefect meeting of the term, this year, he welcomed the alone time. The alone time, however, did not last long as Ginny and Luna entered the compartment.
Ginny, her much longer hair pulled back into a French braid, entered first. She talked rapidly to Luna, who followed behind the redhead in a more serene manner. Luna laughed loudly at some joke Harry had missed, clasping a hand over her mouth to quiet her mirth. Ginny grinned in response as she sat down across from Harry and Luna took a seat beside him.
Ginny's grin faded as she met Harry's eyes. "Hey." She motioned to Luna as she continued, "I was just telling Luna how I knocked Ron off his broom when we were playing Quidditch the other day."
Harry nodded at that, offering Ginny the best smile he could muster.
"Hello, Harry," Luna said as if she just realized she had taken a seat beside him.
He glanced at her. "Um hi, Luna."
"How was your summer?" she asked casually as she pulled the recent edition of the Quibbler from her small knapsack.
From the corner of his eye, Harry could see Ginny give a small shake of her head to Luna. In response, Luna gave her friend a curious look before turning her full attention back to him.
It was--" Harry paused, trying to think of the right word.
Horrid. Excruciating. Bloody painful.
"--okay," he finished with a slight nod.
Luna stared at him, and for a second, Harry felt that she had seen right through his lie and was about to call him on it.
Luckily for him, she simply smiled warmly, nodded, and opened up her Quibbler. She hummed quietly under her breath as she flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for.
Harry watched her before finally turning to look out the window, and he could feel Ginny's eyes on him as he did so. He wasn't sure how long the three of them sat there--Luna engaged in her paper, Ginny studying him, and Harry trying his best to ignore the feeling of being watched--before Ginny finally spoke.
"Rumor is that since Umbridge isn't around anymore, you'll get to be back on the team this year."
Harry simply nodded, his gaze focused out the window as the train began to move. Just a few months prior, that news would have been the highlight of his day. But now? Now, Quidditch was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about now was surviving the year.
"You'll be seeker again," Ginny offered, trying her best to ease him into conversation.
Harry remained quiet for a moment before finally turning to look at her. "What about you?" he asked, and he noticed a wave of relief come over her face at his voice.
"I'd rather be a chaser anyway," she replied, smiling slightly.
Harry opened his mouth to respond but found himself interrupted by an all-too-familiar voice.
"Well if it isn't Hogwarts little hero."
Harry turned his gaze towards the doorway of the compartment where Malfoy stood, smirking in his usual annoying manner. And for the first time Harry could remember, he didn't have Crabbe and Goyle shadowing him.
Harry scowled deeply. Of all the people Harry wanted nothing to do with, Malfoy topped that list.
He was not in the mood for the blond git today.
"Go away, Malfoy," Ginny spoke up from her seat, the annoyance emblazoned across her face. Luna simply looked from Ginny to Malfoy with mild interest before returning to her paper.
"Wasn't talking to you, Weasley," he smirked at her. Ginny mumbled something under her breath in response as Malfoy turned his attention back to Harry. "You must be enjoying this, huh? You get to be the celebrity again this year." Malfoy crossed his arms. "The boy who proved Voldemort was alive."
Harry's body tensed as he fought to keep himself in his seat. "Mad I finally proved your father to be what he really is?"
"My father knows which side to be on," Malfoy spat out. "And when you and your little friends are dying off one by one, you'll know who was right all along."
Harry didn't realize he was on his feet until he felt a hand on his arm. Ginny was standing as well, at his side, holding him back. Luna remained seated, her Quibbler now neatly folded in her lap as she watched everything unfold.
"None of my friends are going to die," Harry growled, ignoring Ginny's tugging on his arm.
Malfoy gave him a half-smile, amused to get a rise out of him. "Oh they will, and that mudblood Granger will be the first to go."
Harry pulled his wand without even thinking, pointing it fiercely in Malfoy's face. "You even look at any of my friends the wrong way--"
"And you'll what, Potter?" Malfoy replied, unfazed.
"Harry," Ginny hissed, pulling harder on his arm. "Don't. You'll get in trouble before we even officially begin the year."
Malfoy grinned deviously, throwing a glance at Ginny. "Should listen to her, Potter. Would hate for the school hero to lose points for his precious house because of a temper."
Harry scowled at him. All he wanted was to curse that stupid sneer right off the boy's face, to let loose all the anger and frustration he had held in all summer. To make Malfoy his outlet much like Dudley had done for so many years on him.
"Harry," Ginny said again from beside him, "just ignore him and sit back down."
Harry inhaled deeply, looking over at Ginny who had her own determined look on her face. His gaze returning to Malfoy, he finally lowered his wand, slipping it back inside his school robe with a frown.
"I knew you didn't have it in you, Potter." Malfoy's sneer only intensified. "The big hero is all talk."
That was all Harry needed to push him over the edge.
He swung out hard, hitting Malfoy across the face. Malfoy stumbled back, a hand held to his nose as he cursed Harry loudly. Harry silently stood his ground, grimacing at the pain that was shooting through his hand. Ginny held a hand over her mouth, shocked, as Luna continued to sit calmly in her seat.
"You're gonna pay, Potter!" Malfoy growled as his nose trickled blood, quickly grabbing his wand and pointing it at him. Harry reached for his own wand but stopped mid-grab as a voice cut through the compartment.
"Draco Malfoy, put that wand away!"
Everyone turned to see Cho Chang approaching, a stern look on her face. Malfoy wiped at his nose with the back of his hand before throwing the older girl a hateful glare.
"And what are you going to do about it?"
Cho stood tall, proud, her arms crossed over her chest. "As Head Girl, there's a lot I can do about it. Now put the wand away this moment, or I'll make sure your name is off the Hogsmeade list the rest of the term."
Malfoy squinted his eyes at her, trying to read her. He finally growled. "I wouldn't have pulled my wand if Potter hadn't hit me."
Cho glanced over at Harry, meeting his eyes. "I'll deal with him as well." She turned back to Malfoy. "Now please return to your compartment."
Malfoy held her stare before finally looking over at Harry with an expression Harry knew meant that this would be settled later. He slipped his wand back inside his robes and stormed away, muttering under his breath.
Harry massaged his throbbing hand as he frowned at Cho. "Take my Hogsmeade trips," he snapped. "See if I care."
"Harry!" Ginny hissed again, and Harry had to reel in the urge to tell her to stop saying his name that way.
"Before you try to have a go at me," Cho replied with the raise of an annoyed eyebrow, "maybe you should hear what I have to say."
Harry simply stared, his temper still simmering.
"I'm sure Draco deserved whatever you did to him, but you're lucky it was me and not someone else who came across you two," she frowned, finally dropping her arms. "But next time? I won't look the other way."
"I don't need you covering for me, Cho. You can tell Dumbledore or McGonagall or, hell, even Snape for that matter. I don't care."
"Well, you better start caring," she bit back before calmly strolling away from their compartment.
"Are you bloody insane?!" Ginny asked when they were finally alone.
Harry sat back down, his hand still throbbing slightly. He continued to rub it as he watched Ginny return to her own seat.
"Picking a fight with Malfoy, then mouthing off to a girl who has the power to make your life a living hell this term?" she continued when he didn't answer. "Have you gone completely nutters?"
"No," he said simply. He looked down at his hand, his knuckles beginning to bruise.
He'd seen Dudley punch people a lot over the years and had even been the punching bag himself on countless occasions, but this was new. To be the one on the delivering end and to see that some pain came with delivering pain.
He made a fist, grimacing, and before he could even open his mouth to protest, Luna had taken his hand in one of her warm ones. He watched her curiously as she removed her wand from its place behind her ear. She placed the tip of her wand gently onto his knuckles and spoke in her airy manner.
"Solacium."
As the word left her lips, a tiny blue light illuminated the tip of her wand for only a second before fading away. She smiled at Harry and placed her wand securely back behind her ear. Harry slowly pulled his hand from hers, looking down to see that the bruising had gone away. He made a fist and found himself amazed that there was no longer any soreness as well.
He looked up at her, a stunned smile on his face. "How'd you…?"
"Relief charm," she stated casually as she began to unfold her Quibbler and open it back to the article that she had been reading before Malfoy had entered their compartment. "Mum used it all the time when I scratched myself up in the yard."
"Huh," was all he could say as he glanced at his hand again.
Before he could form any thought more than that, Ron and Hermione came rushing into the compartment, Ron leading the way.
Hermione opened her mouth, for what Harry could only imagine was going to be a scolding for punching Malfoy, but Ron interrupted her reprimand. "You punched Malfoy?!"
Ginny spoke for him. "Yes because he's lost his mind!"
Harry frowned. "I have not lost my mind."
Hermione took a seat next to Ginny as she gave Harry a cautious look. "I can't believe you hit him."
"I can't believe I missed it!" Ron exclaimed, taking the remaining seat next to Hermione.
"It was quite interesting," Luna spoke from behind her Quibbler.
"It's a wonder you're both not in trouble at the moment," Hermione frowned.
Ginny shook her head. "Cho came by and stopped it. Let them both off with a warning."
Ron raised an eyebrow at that. "She still fancy you then?"
Harry simply shrugged, not wanting to talk about any of this anymore. He turned his attention back out the window, hoping his friends would take the cue and drop the issue. He felt three pairs of eyes stare at him as silence fell over the compartment. Biting his tongue, he tried his best to ignore the sensation of being studied.
And just as the feeling was becoming overwhelming, Ginny broke the silence by asking Ron and Hermione about OWL year. Harry listened in as his friends began discussing their hopes for classes, for grades, and for the term in general.
Harry frowned at his own reflection in the window.
If today was any indication of what was to come, he was fairly certain this term would be his hardest ever.