Author's Note: Mwuahahahahahaha!!!!!!! New craziness shall ensue, and the
world will be MIEEEEEEENEE!!!!!!! Well, um, cough cough not really, but I
can try.
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to someone, but not me. Phooey.
SAIYUKI MEETS FUSHIGI YUUGI (don don duuuuuh!!)
(begins in the Kouto palace, although there are more Suzaku people there than there are Seiryuu)
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Nuriko: Eeee!! They're here! (runs to the door, smiling brightly. Opens it) Hello, fellas! Welcome to Fushigi Yuugi! I'm Nuriko!
Sanzo: I know. You're the only one with purple hair. Sanzo, nice to meet you. (walks past him)
Nuriko: Well, um, okay then. Hi there...um...;;
Goku: (drags himself through the door) Fooooooood....so...hungry!...
Hakkai: Chill out. It was only a three hour drive.
Goku: Only? ONLY?!??!?!
Hotohori: (walks over in a white frilly apron, holding a tray) The buffet is over there if any of you are hungry. (walks away, talking to a servant) What do you mean, they want to put the tomatoes in the fruit salad? Everyone knows that a tomato is a vegetable...at least, I think it is...
Goku: Food!!! (runs to the buffet)
Nuriko: ...
Gojyo: (eyes Nuriko)
Nuriko: Oh, um, hello!
Gojyo: Hm. A member of the itty bitty titty committee. Interesting.
Nuriko: (enraged) WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!
Hakkai: Gojyo, behave. We're their guests.
Chichiri: (his head pops out from underneath his hat that was lying on the table) Actually Nuriko's a man. He would have to steal from Hotohori to pay for the plastic surgery otherwise, no da. (disappears once again)
Gojyo: Wha...he's a guy?!?! (faints)
Nakago: He's more concerned about a cross dresser than a head popping out of nowhere. How idiotic.
Soi: (appears from out of nowhere and bows to Nakago) My lord, I have found the liquor from around the world, the famed 'Hin Jin', created by your tribe.
Tasuki: Hey, more booze! I want some!
Soi: (rolls her eyes) Fine. But only a drop on your tongue. (pours a drop into a shot glass)
Tasuki: (acting offended) Soi, are you saying I can't hold my liquor?
Soi: Yes.
Tasuki: (really offended) I'll show you! Gimme that. (drinks it)
Soi: So?
Tasuki: (grins) Hey, you're kinda cute!
Soi: (glare)
Tasuki: Ow, ow, sparks in mouth!! (runs around in circles until collapsing on the floor giggling)
Nakago: Such a moron. Pour me a glass, Soi.
Soi: (hands Nakago a glass and turns, only to face a red-faced Tasuki)
Tasuki: Listen, I'm sorry for the whole death thing, but it seems to be KILLING our friendship.
Soi: ...
Tasuki: See, I thought we were THROUGH all of that. I thought it was all BEHIND us. I mean, this is CUTTING us apart.
Soi: ...
Tasuki: So, how about you come over to the Konan palace some time for some SHISHCABOBS? Hm? Hm?
Soi: (stress mark) ...
Tasuki: (dodges sudden lightning) What's wrong with you?!?! I was AIMING to mend our friendship!!! (continues to dodge)
Soi: (sighs, and turns from Tasuki only to face Gojyo)
Gojyo: You're a hottie. What're you doing in this anime?
Soi: ... You have red hair.
Gojyo: Yeah, the color of passion. So, do you want to go out some time? Preferably tonight?
Soi: HE has red hair.
Gojyo: He? Who's 'he'? Oh well, I don't care. (puts his arm around her shoulders)
Soi: ...
(lightning comes down and zaps Gojyo's bangs. They turn black, then disintegrate)
Gojyo: (touches his two new bald spots in horror, speechless)
Soi: (sighs and turns to Nakago) My lord Nakago, we are surrounded by fools..m-my lord!
Nakago: (smiling like an idiot, cheeks red) Hola, Soi! Como estas! ((AN: this is said extremely white and drunk, pronunciations H-ola, co-MO es- TAS)) This Hin Jin is real strong stuff! Oh, yeah, I found me a drinkin' buddy!
Hakkai: (finishes a glass of Hin Jin) Ahh! Strong stuff! (winks at a servant girl) Hey cutie!
Goku: Um, Sanzo, what's wrong with Hakkai?
Sanzo: Nothing. He's just drunk. Wait a minute...
Goku: (stricken) B-but Hakkai never gets drunk!
Nakago: What kinds of idiots call themselves the Hins? (laughs) Stupid morons, no wonder they got massacred! Hey, Soi, didja hear about that blond boy that killed his mother? Whatta shmuck!
Soi: ...
Hakkai: Let's sing a pub song!
Nakago: Alrighty then!
(they link arms and sway back and forth, swinging their drinks everywhere)
Nakago, Hakkai, and all other drunks in the palace: Ai, Ai, Ai Ai! We are the Frito Banditos! We love Fritos corn chips, We love them we do! We love Fritos corn chips, We'll take them from you!
Nakago: Second verse, same as the first! A whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!
Soi: ... (begins to slam her head into a wall, thinking, 'Why me? Why me? Why me?...)
(now to take a break from the drunks and poor, assaulted Soi)
Miaka: (glaring at Goku) I've heard about you and how much you eat! But anything you can eat I can more of!
Goku: I can eat anything more than you!
Miaka: No you can't!
Goku: Yes I can!
Miaka: No you can't!
Goku: Yes I can!
Miaka: That's it, monkey boy! You. Me. The gods' endless buffet. Now. Be there, of be square!
Goku: I don't know what you mean by being square, but it sounds like an insult. You're on, cow!
(they both race over to the buffet, pushing away the gods and eating the food)
Suzaku: My vegetables!
Seiryuu: My fish!
Biakko: My tofu! (they all turn and look at Genbu, who shrugs)
Genbu: Hey, don't look at me, I ate before I came. I mean, come on, it's Miaka we're talking about!
(back to the drunks...)
Nakago: (puts an arm around Soi, who swoons) Baby, I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town- we'll paint the town red!
Soi: (straightening slightly) But Nakago, red is the color of our enemies!
Nakago: Enemies shmenemies! (begins to sing) Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't weeee be frieeeeends?
Soi: Alright, alright, just stop singing, please!
Nakago: Great! (he drags her away)
Sanzo: (sitting at a table with Mitsukake, drinking and playing cards) That's hopeless. Do you have any fours?
Mitsukake: (takes a drag on his herbal cigarette ((AN: HERBAL! I made it herbal!)) ) You're telling me. (looks at his cards) Nope. Go fish.
Sanzo: Shit.
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to someone, but not me. Phooey.
SAIYUKI MEETS FUSHIGI YUUGI (don don duuuuuh!!)
(begins in the Kouto palace, although there are more Suzaku people there than there are Seiryuu)
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Nuriko: Eeee!! They're here! (runs to the door, smiling brightly. Opens it) Hello, fellas! Welcome to Fushigi Yuugi! I'm Nuriko!
Sanzo: I know. You're the only one with purple hair. Sanzo, nice to meet you. (walks past him)
Nuriko: Well, um, okay then. Hi there...um...;;
Goku: (drags himself through the door) Fooooooood....so...hungry!...
Hakkai: Chill out. It was only a three hour drive.
Goku: Only? ONLY?!??!?!
Hotohori: (walks over in a white frilly apron, holding a tray) The buffet is over there if any of you are hungry. (walks away, talking to a servant) What do you mean, they want to put the tomatoes in the fruit salad? Everyone knows that a tomato is a vegetable...at least, I think it is...
Goku: Food!!! (runs to the buffet)
Nuriko: ...
Gojyo: (eyes Nuriko)
Nuriko: Oh, um, hello!
Gojyo: Hm. A member of the itty bitty titty committee. Interesting.
Nuriko: (enraged) WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!
Hakkai: Gojyo, behave. We're their guests.
Chichiri: (his head pops out from underneath his hat that was lying on the table) Actually Nuriko's a man. He would have to steal from Hotohori to pay for the plastic surgery otherwise, no da. (disappears once again)
Gojyo: Wha...he's a guy?!?! (faints)
Nakago: He's more concerned about a cross dresser than a head popping out of nowhere. How idiotic.
Soi: (appears from out of nowhere and bows to Nakago) My lord, I have found the liquor from around the world, the famed 'Hin Jin', created by your tribe.
Tasuki: Hey, more booze! I want some!
Soi: (rolls her eyes) Fine. But only a drop on your tongue. (pours a drop into a shot glass)
Tasuki: (acting offended) Soi, are you saying I can't hold my liquor?
Soi: Yes.
Tasuki: (really offended) I'll show you! Gimme that. (drinks it)
Soi: So?
Tasuki: (grins) Hey, you're kinda cute!
Soi: (glare)
Tasuki: Ow, ow, sparks in mouth!! (runs around in circles until collapsing on the floor giggling)
Nakago: Such a moron. Pour me a glass, Soi.
Soi: (hands Nakago a glass and turns, only to face a red-faced Tasuki)
Tasuki: Listen, I'm sorry for the whole death thing, but it seems to be KILLING our friendship.
Soi: ...
Tasuki: See, I thought we were THROUGH all of that. I thought it was all BEHIND us. I mean, this is CUTTING us apart.
Soi: ...
Tasuki: So, how about you come over to the Konan palace some time for some SHISHCABOBS? Hm? Hm?
Soi: (stress mark) ...
Tasuki: (dodges sudden lightning) What's wrong with you?!?! I was AIMING to mend our friendship!!! (continues to dodge)
Soi: (sighs, and turns from Tasuki only to face Gojyo)
Gojyo: You're a hottie. What're you doing in this anime?
Soi: ... You have red hair.
Gojyo: Yeah, the color of passion. So, do you want to go out some time? Preferably tonight?
Soi: HE has red hair.
Gojyo: He? Who's 'he'? Oh well, I don't care. (puts his arm around her shoulders)
Soi: ...
(lightning comes down and zaps Gojyo's bangs. They turn black, then disintegrate)
Gojyo: (touches his two new bald spots in horror, speechless)
Soi: (sighs and turns to Nakago) My lord Nakago, we are surrounded by fools..m-my lord!
Nakago: (smiling like an idiot, cheeks red) Hola, Soi! Como estas! ((AN: this is said extremely white and drunk, pronunciations H-ola, co-MO es- TAS)) This Hin Jin is real strong stuff! Oh, yeah, I found me a drinkin' buddy!
Hakkai: (finishes a glass of Hin Jin) Ahh! Strong stuff! (winks at a servant girl) Hey cutie!
Goku: Um, Sanzo, what's wrong with Hakkai?
Sanzo: Nothing. He's just drunk. Wait a minute...
Goku: (stricken) B-but Hakkai never gets drunk!
Nakago: What kinds of idiots call themselves the Hins? (laughs) Stupid morons, no wonder they got massacred! Hey, Soi, didja hear about that blond boy that killed his mother? Whatta shmuck!
Soi: ...
Hakkai: Let's sing a pub song!
Nakago: Alrighty then!
(they link arms and sway back and forth, swinging their drinks everywhere)
Nakago, Hakkai, and all other drunks in the palace: Ai, Ai, Ai Ai! We are the Frito Banditos! We love Fritos corn chips, We love them we do! We love Fritos corn chips, We'll take them from you!
Nakago: Second verse, same as the first! A whole lot louder and a whole lot worse!
Soi: ... (begins to slam her head into a wall, thinking, 'Why me? Why me? Why me?...)
(now to take a break from the drunks and poor, assaulted Soi)
Miaka: (glaring at Goku) I've heard about you and how much you eat! But anything you can eat I can more of!
Goku: I can eat anything more than you!
Miaka: No you can't!
Goku: Yes I can!
Miaka: No you can't!
Goku: Yes I can!
Miaka: That's it, monkey boy! You. Me. The gods' endless buffet. Now. Be there, of be square!
Goku: I don't know what you mean by being square, but it sounds like an insult. You're on, cow!
(they both race over to the buffet, pushing away the gods and eating the food)
Suzaku: My vegetables!
Seiryuu: My fish!
Biakko: My tofu! (they all turn and look at Genbu, who shrugs)
Genbu: Hey, don't look at me, I ate before I came. I mean, come on, it's Miaka we're talking about!
(back to the drunks...)
Nakago: (puts an arm around Soi, who swoons) Baby, I'm gonna take you out for a night on the town- we'll paint the town red!
Soi: (straightening slightly) But Nakago, red is the color of our enemies!
Nakago: Enemies shmenemies! (begins to sing) Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't weeee be frieeeeends?
Soi: Alright, alright, just stop singing, please!
Nakago: Great! (he drags her away)
Sanzo: (sitting at a table with Mitsukake, drinking and playing cards) That's hopeless. Do you have any fours?
Mitsukake: (takes a drag on his herbal cigarette ((AN: HERBAL! I made it herbal!)) ) You're telling me. (looks at his cards) Nope. Go fish.
Sanzo: Shit.