Genre: Drama/Angst
Rating: PG-13
E-mail: kaeerayahoo.de
Feedback: Always appreciated and constructive criticism is very welcome.
Summary: Daisuke is having a really bad day - everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. Not even Hikari, Takeru, Miyako, or Iori can change it - instead, they only make it worse, then disaster strikes...
Notes: Yup. The last chapter. Took long enough. Computer virus, busy life, preparations for Australia...sighs
by Kaeera
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Part Three
I must be getting better if I can still be sarcastic.
Sitting up, I realize that I'm alone in my room. The sun is shining outside, so that probably meant I slept right through the night. I wonder what time it is; of course nobody bothered to put a clock in my room. Gah. I've only been awake for about three minutes and already, I'm bored. I'm an active person. Being inactive is something that doesn't fit into my programming. I was born to run around, to do things, to enjoy the sunshine…uhm. Looking at my bandaged leg again, my spirits are dampened considerably. No running around for me for the next few weeks - or maybe even months. I grumble a bit, but it's more for show than anything else, since there is no one else in the room but me.
"Great. The car didn't kill me, but I'll probably die of boredom." I sigh while leaning back against my pillows. The dizziness I felt earlier is gone now, something I'm incredibly thankful for.
My gaze falls on the little table beside my bed. I see a bundle of flowers on it - figures, anyone who's ever been in a hospital gets flowers, I always wondered why - and, to my surprise, some cards ate there as well.
Curiously, I reach out for them. They are your typical get well cards, bright colors and happy pictures or flowers and cartoon characters.
I flip the first one open and read:
'Dear Brother, I guess you're already looking for something to since you are probably bored in your hospital bed. Please do me a favour though
and stay out of trouble. Even you should be able to manage that! - Jun.'
I smile and shake my head. Typical. No words of encouragement, just some gentle scolding. Well, okay. Not so gentle. It's Jun after all! Ah well, if things were any different, I'd be worried about her sanity.
Carefully, I place the card back on the table and pick up the next one. On the front there is a small picture of a cat playing with
some toys. I frown, wondering where that came from, then quickly open it.
'Daisuke,' it says, 'I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope you're okay when you read this; and please know,
I'm thinking of you...Why did you leave school so suddenly without telling us anything? Why didn't you talk to us? The things you said really
hurt me, Davis. I never wanted another friend, I've always wanted you. Sure, you can be annoying sometimes, but I still like you as a
friend. I hope you understand that. Everybody has had a bad day every now and then - Hikari.'
I feel slightly embarrassed when I read this. I wonder why she even bothered writing to me - she must have been pretty angry with me
after I told her off like that. But Hikari's always been the most sensible one of the digidestined.
I put her card on top of Jun's card then take the next card. This one is very simple. The front is pale blue with and has a picture of a small flower on it Inside there is neat handwriting which I immediately recognize as Ken's. Huh? Ken has been here, too? Wow. I feel flattered.
'Davis, sometimes I wonder if you'll ever reach your university years.' he writes, 'You always manage to have so many accidents on a daily basis, it's astonishing you've made it this far. And now you've managed to get hit by a car!' I roll my eyes, snorting a bit. Yeah well, not everybody is as perfect as you, Ken!
'And I know that you're probably rolling your eyes right now. I may sound a bit harsh, but that's because I've been so worried. I was afraid that you might die, and I didn't know what I would do if it happened. I've already lost my brother because of a stupid car; I don't want to lose you, too! I was scared, Davis, I was scared that my best friend would leave me alone and never return, just like Osamu did. When I heard you were okay and in recovery, I nearly broke down crying. Please don't do something like this ever again!'
I shake my head, strangely touched by the fact that someone has been so worried about me. It feels good, in a weird, twisted sort of way. It feels good to know that Ken regards me as his best friend; Ken, the genius, Ken the polite, reserved one, Ken the perfect boy, this Ken is the best friend of Daisuke Motomiya, chaotic, stupid dreamer au extravagance.
It seems strange, doesn't it? I'm not the only one who thinks like that; more than once I've overheard many conversations from people at my school in which they wondered what a genius like Ken was doing with a dumb soccer player like me. Analyzing our friendship however, currently costs me more energy than I can afford, so I stop thinking about it.
Glancing at the pile of cards on the small table, I realize that there are still a lot of them left. It seems as if every single one of my friends has taken the time to write a 'get-well card. Somehow, this touches me deeply. People usually think that I crave attention, and that might be true, but it's only because I simply don't get much attention. This simple gesture means so much to me.
I'm tempted to pick up more cards, but I'm interrupted by a nurse entering my room. "Ah, you're awake," she says and smiles at me.
"Uhm, yes." Duh, what an intelligent answer.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better. I don't feel as fuzzy as before."
She laughs. "That's because there are less drugs in your system. You're really alright? No headache? Nausea?"
I shake my head. I'm really okay; a little bit tired maybe, and my leg is hurting, as well as the various bruises all over my body, but that's to be expected. After all, you don't run into a car and get away unscathed.
Man, that was really, really stupid.
"That's nice to hear." The nurse takes a quick look at me, peers into my eyes, examines my upper body writes on the little board hanging over my bed.
"Uhm, could you tell me what time it is?"
"Sure dear, it's nearly three o'clock." She finishes writing and puts the pen back in her pocket. "And as a matter of fact, our visiting hours begin at three o 'clock. You've quite a few visitors waiting for you! Do you feel up to the task?"
"Visitors?" I repeat blankly. "Who, my parents?"
"Well, they're here too, but there's also a bunch of kids out there, too."
"Kids?" I'm stunned; they're supposed to be in school right now. What are they doing here? School doesn't end until four o'clock!
"Do you want me to tell them to come back later?"
"What?" I'm startled, until I realize that she's been waiting for my answer all this time. "Oh, no - they can come in. I'd love to see them, it's so boring in here!"
The nurse nods cheerfully. "All right, then I'll call them."
She leaves the room and I watch her retreating back, too stunned by the sudden turn of events to do anything. I guess I'm still a bit out of it, my brain is working slower than usual. I fidget a bit, uncomfortable that I can't get out of bed. How long am I supposed to stay here? I've forgotten. However, it will be too long, I'm sure. I hate lying still. I hate being immobilized! Argh! And right when soccer season just started!!
"I'm really, really stupid!" I mumble gloomily and cross my arms in an act of childish defiance. "Why didn't I look when I walked across the street? Then none of this would have happened!"
"That's exactly what we were wondering, too!" A familiar voice interrupts me, and I'm startled for the second time today.
"Takeru?" I ask with a look on my face which I'm sure, could have been in the hall of fame of the most-stupid-looks-on-earth, if
such a hall ever existed. Takeru seems to find it amusing - and chuckles. Directly behind him, I can see Hikari. She's
holding a bouquet of flowers.
Behind her is Miyako; she has a look on her face I can't quite identify. It's a mixture of her usual scolding
'Daisuke-you-are-acting-stupid-think-before-you-act' look and something else, something softer, maybe even concern.
Of course, Iori isn't missing, he's always close to Miyako. He's holding a box of chocolate, and my mouth waters at the sight of
the sweets. I haven't eaten anything since I woke up and I'm beginning to feel it.
And finally, the last one to enter is Ken. He seems to be very relieved to see me, and I start feeling guilty. He's already lost someone close to him in a car accident; how did he feel when he heard the news?
"Uhm...hi?" I venture, when they're all inside.
"What do you mean by 'hi'?" Miyako explodes in my face, and I try to scramble backwards. That girl can be really scary when she's angry!
"Do you know how worried we were?" She puts her hands on her hips. "First, you acted strange all day, then you go home and run into a car. Three days! You've been unconscious for THREE DAYS!"
"I didn't do it on purpose," I immediately protest, but you can't argue with Miyako when she's angry.
"Hah! If you did it on purpose, I would certainly have you killed by now!!" She glares at me, and I try to glare back, but I I'm not very frightening. What a pity. One day, when Miyako is not angry with me anymore (probably in twenty years or so, she has quite some stamina), I'll have to ask her how she manages to make her patented death-glare so effective. It makes you want to hide somewhere far, far away from her.
Hikari puts a comforting hand on Miyako's shoulder. "Miyako," she says calmly and lays the flowers on the table, "I believe you'are not helping him at all."
Then she turns to me and smiles her typical Hikari smile - warm, tender and gentle. I've always loved that smile, it is so nice and sincere. "We are glad that you're awake again. We were already worried when we received the phone call, and when we rushed to the hospital, they wouldn't let us see you. Waiting for three days was torture, I must say."
"Uhm..." I scratch my head, unsure how to reply. "I'm sorry, guys." Oh, they're making me feel so uncomfortable! I'm not used to so much care and concern! I need a change of topic! Quickly, I wave my hand towards the table. "And thank you for the cards, they're really nice. Although I haven't read them all yet!"
They all exchange glances, and then Takeru steps forward and clears his throat. "You're welcome. Uhm...we had a talk before we came here, and there's something we have to tell you."
"Like what?"
Hikari looks down at her hands. "Miyako already said that you were behaving strangely the day of your accident. And you said some things that weren't true."
I only tilt my head and wait for them to continue. I remember how angry I was, and I remember the reason for it, but the things I said were true, weren't they? I've never been accepted by them fully. In fact, it really astonishes me that they are here right now.
"You told me to 'Go and find yourself a smarter friend if I am too stupid for you'." Takeru explains. "It seemed as if you thought that I didn't want to be your friend anymore just because your marks aren't as good as mine. But that's not true, Davis. You are my friend, no matter what you think! I admire your strength and courage, and I know that I can always rely on you. Sometimes, you get on my nerves, but I'm only human, too - I am not perfect. I've never ever thought of you as anyone other than my friend!"
Can it be? Does he mean it? His eyes are serious as he stares at me, and I can see honesty shining in them. Can it be true?
Hikari coughs. "I felt the same way," she admits. "The things you told me really got me, Davis. I never even guessed that you felt like that, and I'm really sorry that it was us - me! - who made you feel that way. I can't say enough how sorry I am!" To my surprise, I see tears well up in her eyes. Why? What did I tell her? I try to remember, and finally, bit by bit, the scene comes back to me...
"Excuse me for caring! It bothers me to see you so depressed and lonely! It's not like you." Deep in my heart, I knew she was worried about me and only wanted to help. Unfortunately, I don't listen to my heart when I'm in a foul mood, and my temper boiled over. "I don't need you to care, you don't care about the real me anyway!!" I shouted heatedly.
Hikari stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me, shock shining in her eyes. "What did you say?"
I threw my hands in the air. "It's been like this the entire day. Daisuke don't do this, Daisuke do that. I'm too clumsy, I'm not intelligent enough, and when I'm not cheerful, nobody even bothers to ask me how I feel.
I'm sick of it - why don't you find yourself a more perfect friend? Take Ken, he's definitely not clumsy, and he's very intelligent and nice."
The pain I felt at that very moment comes back like a sharp needle stabbing my heart. I turn my head away, unable to look at my friends. "Do you really think that?" Miyako speaks up, her voice much softer than before.
I trace imaginary circles on my bed covers. "Well, not that drastically...I mean, I was angry and I snapped, I'm sorry for saying it, I won't do it again..." I realize that I'm blabbering and close my mouth.
"Don't be sorry." Ken speaks for the first time since he entered the room. "It's good that you finally told us. Otherwise, we'd never know that you feel like that sometimes."
I look into the eyes of my best friend. "You never made me feel like that." I answer honestly. "I always thought I could rely on you. Only they..." My brain stops my mouth before I hurt the others, but it's already too late - I can see the stricken looks on their faces.
"Only we made you feel like that," Takeru finishes my sentence sadly.
"Sometimes." I feel uneasy; I'm not used to telling anyone else besides Ken what I feel. Although I may seem like an outgoing person, I'm actually very closed off and guarded when it comes to my personal feelings.
"Oh, Daisuke, we are sorry!" Hikari exclaims. "You are a very dear friend I never want to lose! You proved your ability both as a digidestined and as a friend to us the battles we shared in the digiworld! I don't want a perfect friend! I like you like you are!"
"She is right," Iori adds, his face serious. "In the beginning, I didn't trust you at all. But now, I value you as a true friend. You've saved us numerous times, and you always manage to lighten the mood when every one else is feeling down. You were the one who never gave up and kept us all going. I don't care whether you are intelligent or not. I don't care whether you are able to solve x²2x16=0 or not. What I value is your strength, your optimism, your cheerfulness, your attitude, and your determination!"
I don't know what to say. Can I believe them? Do they really mean what they are saying? "We've been wrong," Takeru admits, and his face his grave. "You always seemed so happy. We were fooled by your outward appearance and stopped asking how you felt inside. Real friends should do that. We failed as friends. I failed as a friend! And I'm so sorry for that."
"You didn't fail..." I begin to reply, but Miyako steps forward and stops me from saying more.
"All of this could have prevented if you would have talked to us sooner about your feelings!" She scolds, but to my surprise, I can see tears in her eyes as well. Has the world gone mad? Miyako is crying? Because of me?
"But you just closed off yourself! How were we supposed to help you? Yo'are supposed to talk to your friends!" She glares at me and I feel that I should say something. "Well, I didn't think you'd listen..."
Whoops. Seems as if I have dropped a bombshell. They all have shocked looks on their faces - only Ken is smiling. I stare at him suspiciously. He seems to be happy about something, but about what?
He mouths the word 'finally' at me, but I don't get the deeper meaning. Duh, I've never been good at figuring out things - usually I let the others do that. Like that day when we...
Okay, my thoughts are drifting off to unimportant topics, and that's only because I don't want to face the actual problem.
Takeru barks out a dry laugh. "It seems that we don't deserve to call ourselves your friends, huh?"
I blink. "Why?"
He throws his hands in the air. "Because...because you don't even trust us enough to talk about your feelings! We weren't able to help you when you felt miserable, instead we only made things worse!" Oh. I finally get why he's upset. "It's not like that," I reply softly. "I do think of you as my friends. But..."
I don't know how to say it. I've never been good at dealing with emotions, especially when they are my emotions. Why bother talking about them? There has never been anybody in my life who has ever listened to me. They always saw just the surface, the stupid Daisuke, soccer-player, cheerful boy who's never down, who's always happy-go-lucky. And so I got used to it. My whole family is like that, too.
I look up, and I suddenly realize that I've spoken my thoughts out aloud. I'm horrified, I don't know what to do.
They all look at me, and something has changed. I can't put my finger on it, it's just a feeling I get when I look into their eyes. Then Hikari turns towards Ken. "Did you know about this?" she asks.
"Yes," Ken admits. "I don't know everything, but I suspected it. He never told me, I had to read between the lines."
"What do you mean?" I inquire.
"You." He looks at me. "You always hide your feelings. It's not because you don't trust us, it's simply because there has never been anyone who's listened, right? Your family is not bad, but they never discuss their emotions openly. I notice it every time I visit you. They are rarely serious, they only talk about insignificant things. And in all the time I've known you, I've never heard your parents - or your sister, for that matter - ask you how you are or how you felt. It's always like that, isn't it?"
"Yes." I'm confused by this. Has he been watching me? Why did I never notice?
"And so you started to believe that nobody would ever listen to you."
Ken turns to Hikari. "You see, I don't think that you've - or I - failed as friends. You're human as well, after all, and Davis is a good actor. He's not used to have someone he can share his feelings with. It was really difficult to get him to talk about feelings today, and I only managed it because we're so close."
"Why did you never tell us?" Miyako seems to be stricken by the news.
Ken shakes his head. "I wanted you to find out for yourselves. Besides, it's not my place to tell Daisuke's secrets without his permission."
Hikari sighs. "It seems as if there are many things we have yet to learn about you, Davis." She comes closer to my bed and sits down beside me. Her gaze is soft, and I'm drawn into her beautiful brown eyes. So kind and caring, it's like…like sitting in a forest in the summertime while birds are singing…I'm not making sense here, but I don't care.
"I'm sad to hear that you never had anyone who would listen to you, Davis." she says and keeps staring at me. I can't turn my head away, I am transfixed by her gaze. "But now, things will be different. We already told you before, Davis, we are your friends, no matter what. And if you have any problems, you can always come to us! I will listen, and I'm sure the others will too. No one will laugh at you! I have to admit that we've been a little harsh on you many times, but we never realized how you felt. Like Ken said, we're only human, and we were fooled by your outward appearance. I'm so sorry that I didn't read between the lines like Ken did. I hope you can forgive me; and I hope that, if you ever feel like that again, you will talk to me about it. My door will always be open for you."
She finishes her speech and smiles uncertainly. I don't know how to respond. That has to be the most touching thing anyone's ever said to me, and to my surprise I can feel tears sting my eyes. Gosh! I don't want to start crying in front of everyone, that would really be embarrassing! I barely manage to swallow the lump in my throat, but one tear manages to escape and it slowly rolls down my cheek.
"Thank you," I whisper, unable to say anything else. You know those moments when you are at a total loss for words? When your brain seems to be empty and all you can do is just stand (or in my case, lie down) and stare? I'm experiencing that moment right now. Suddenly, I realize that she really means it, and that the others really mean it too. My friends - Ken, Takeru, Hikari, Iori, and Miyako - they care about me, about the real me. They've offered me their ears, their time and their hearts. But most importantly, they've offered me their friendship. Suddenly, I have five persons I can go to when I need someone to talk to. Five people! When before, I had none!
"I can only agree with Kari," Takeru says, and his expression is solemn. "I know that we often quarrel, but still, I'll be there if you need me."
"The same goes for me." Miyako agrees, and her face is determined.
Ken just smiles his mysterious smile. "You already know that you can rely on me."
"And on me as well," Iori adds, "After all, I have the crest of reliability!"
One more tear falls from my eye, and I quickly wipe it away. "Thank you guys." I sniff, "You don't know how happy you've made me."
I get the impression that I'm acting quite pathetic, but somehow, I don't mind. I'll probably be terribly embarrassed when they tell me about it later, but right now, all I care about is the fact that they didn't turn away from me even when I acted so horribly.
Luckily, a nurse comes in at this very moment before we could all become even more pathetic. "Visiting hours are over," she announces.
"Thank you," Hikari bows politely, and then smiles at me. "We have to go now, Davis. Please remember what we've told you - and never forget it."
"We'll visit you again tomorrow." Takeru promised.
Miyako just grinned and waved goodbye. "Just so you know, it's not that easy to get rid of us!"
Iori stays silent, only shakes his head with an amused smile.
Ken chuckles. "I guess things finally turned out for the best." He, too, waves good-bye, and then they leave my room and silence falls over me once again. For the next few minutes, I do nothing but stare at the door. My mind is spinning with everything my friends told me - but in my heart, I feel a comforting warmth taking hold.
It seems that my horrible, terrible, no-good, absolutely bad day has paid off. I realize just how much I've underestimated my friends. I can rely on them more than I ever knew. That's something...I don't know...valuable and more precious than anything else. It's so hard to describe in words only. There are days when you may feel insecure and unsure of everyone around you. But right now, this insecurity and unsure feeling has vanished and I feel happy and content. It's a nice feeling, a feeling I want to keep close. And I realize that I really have great friends.
Hikari and her kind way of treating everybody around her.
Takeru with his constant optimism and cheerful attitude.
Ken, the most sensible person I know, always perceptive to my emotions, a true friend.
Miyako, the self-confident outgoing girl, who'll always be honest with you.
Iori, the silent one, who you can trust with everything.
Those are my friends. I can't help but smile when I think of them and the things they just said. Yes, really - my horrible day has finally found a happy end. I guess a broken leg is an small price to pay for the way things turned out in the end. I can live with that, really. Who knows how long it would have taken me to figure things out otherwise!
But...that doesn't mean that I have to like being confined to my bed! Where's the nurse? I want to ask her when I can get out of here - after all, soccer season will start soon...
Fin.
OmnicromXR - Indeciveness, huh? Well, I know that the plot of this story isn't very original, but that was never the point. It was just one of these spur-of-the-moment things, a try-out of a new writing style so to say.
Anthony1 - I like answering to reviews, that's why I do it (who would have though -.-). It gives the while thing a more personal touch, I think. Strange dreams...somehow, they appear in all my stories. I seem to have a faible for strange dreams. Every main character has at least one strange dream. shakes head That's...strange. lol
LoveSovereign - You want to be dead for one minute? Hmm...maybe if it was possible without the consequences (hospital, injuries), but I wouldn't break my leg for it like Daisuke did. laughs
Samanda Hime-Sama - Thanks for your praise. I've written another Digimon piece (one-shot, maybe one sequel), but it needs to be beta-ed and overworked, so don't expect it in the near future. But it's a tearjerker...at least somewhat. I think. Duh...no idea.
Another-world - Electrocuted? That's bad, I know the experience. I myself am a person who has such days with an amazing frequency. I've learned to take with with humour by now. It's the only way to survive them
twilight knight - I absolutely love Daisuke's noodle cart! He was so great when he insisted on making his dreams true.I find his personality fascinating...it gives so much room for stories!
Moonlit Eyes - I'm glad to hear that my stories make you think. I often write about topics that are not all that...well, nice, and making people thinks helps making people aware. Well, not in thos story, but in Broken Wings for example.
miracles-3 - Well, this POV was just a try-out, but it works surprisingly well. Maybe I will write more stories in this style, it's much more interesting than third person.
Gato Goddess - Sorry. I didn't want to stretch this story unneccessarily. It was planned as an one-shot (!) and the plot wouldn't be enough for more chapters. Well, the reunion was quite mushy, I think. Maybe a bit too much sugar. But I wanted to get it done...sighs