Chapter 5 Is It Enough?

Taken aback by what Jack had just said Sark stood motionless an uneasy feeling slowly taking over him. 'She lost the baby?' How could that have happened?

"Is she going to be ok?" Sark spoke quietly.

Jack shook his head "physically yes, mentally and emotionally? We'll have to wait and see. This is obviously a huge ordeal to have to go thru, the doctor said bed rest for at least three days and after that maybe antidepressants. Sydney has been thru a lot and that baby

Was one of the best things to happen to her, she was enlivened at the thought of being a mother. She will not deal with this well on her own and I don't think I am the best person to help her thru this." Jack said resigned.

Turning away from Jack, Sark opened the door. Sydney was facing the wall her back towards him. Closing the door behind him, He walked over to sit in the chair next to the bed and she stirred turning over to face him. Her eyes were bloodshot and slightly swollen the tears still falling down her cheeks she looked exhausted. She didn't say a thing only reached out her hand towards him. Sark made a move to sit in the chair beside her and she grabbed his hand pulling him closer to the bed. She shifted to make room for him and he paused not really sure if he should lie next to her. But she persisted by pulling on his hand a little harder and saying "please" so softly he wasn't sure if she had said it in the first place.

He let go of her hand making her think he would leave and a saddened look crossed her face he looked at her and shook his head slightly and then started to undo the button on his suit jacket and placed it over the chair. Reaching over to the end of the bed he grabbed the blanket and unfolded it and spread it over her tucking it in near her feet.

Finally he lay down next to her and she instantly moved to tuck her head underneath his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her, this feeling of ease between them all too familiar. She didn't talk to him, wouldn't even look him in the eye now, but she wouldn't let him go either and he took that as a good sign. He wondered why he cared really; with the baby gone it meant that there was nothing for them now.

"Are you upset with me?" she said breaking his silent reverie

He said nothing only shook his head no "are you upset with me?" he said back to her

She shook her head no. She was silent for a moment before saying "How long have you known?"

"Since the day after you left, the test was still in the trash, I didn't know if it was positive or not and I knew you were still angry and wouldn't talk to me."

She adjusted the position of her head on chest and said knowingly

"You followed me didn't you?"

He smirked slightly "why do you ask a question if you already know the answer?"

"I didn't even know you were in L.A, my father had to tell me, I didn't have a clue."

"Just so you know , he called me first not the other way around, I may have followed you around but your father was the one who contacted me and confirmed what I thought I knew." Sark said hoping that she would be happy that her father had called him, and that he had showed up despite the fact that they had separated on bad terms.

"Don't be mad at him ok, he just thought I should know, even if he can't grasp the thought that you were with me"

Sydney noticed the shadow of hurt in his voice at the point that her father had to tell him she had been pregnant and not her herself.

"When I called him he didn't seem to be upset with it but more like resigned with the reality of it."

Sark changed the subject not wanting to dwell on it.

"The doctor said you need to stay for at least three days." He said hoping that it wasn't obvious that he wanted to continue on the conversation he had started and ended so abruptly

"Ok"

Surprised that she had complied so easily with the doctors wishes he said "ok? You're not upset that you have to stay confined to a bed for the next three days?"

"I would rather stay here and have people wait hand and foot on me than have my father worry about me so much, it seems this is hard on him too."

Sark didn't have an answer to that but decided to not add to her pain by saying that in fact he was affected by this too. He was involved with this too.

They were silent long enough to have her fall asleep and Sark quietly untangled himself from her grasp without waking her and covered her entirely with the blanket.

Sark rolled up his wrinkled shirt sleeves and grabbed his jacket throwing it over his arm he kissed her forehead, opened the door and walked into the hallway to find Jack sound asleep in a chair by the door.

Wide awake and alone for the moment Sark wondered down the halls his hands in his pockets and his eyes straight ahead and for the first time unsure of just what lay ahead for Sydney and himself.