Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Rowling and the copyright holders. I'm just playing with the characters. I solemnly swear to take good care of them and not let them have too many sweets (though I'll have my work cut out with Albus)

Note: This fic is for the AD/MM kiddies. You have been warned!

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Not In My Back Yard!

Fit the First: Meet the Neighbours.

Harry Potter pulled the front door closed very quietly. The latch clicked into place. He knew he would get it in the neck from his aunt and uncle if they found out he had been out in the rain. Not because they had any concerns about his health of course, but simply because they couldn't bear the thought that the neighbours might see him doing anything at all unusual.

The weather had been bad all summer. Harry felt it suited his mood quite well. What business had the sun to be shining when a man as good as Sirius Black was no longer around to enjoy it? A stab of anger cut through him at the thought. He didn't bother to wipe his feet, but trudged muddy footprints down the spotless hall.

To his surprise, he heard voices coming from the kitchen. He knew his uncle was not home yet as his car was not in the driveway; and Harry had passed Dudley at the bus shelter, he and his gang were menacing money from 10 year olds. It seemed Aunt Petunia had company.

Trying to make as little noise as possible, Harry crept past the kitchen door heading for the stairs. But he was not quiet enough.

"Is that you, Dudley darling?" called Aunt Petunia's shrill voice. "Come into the kitchen, Angelkins. Mummy wants you to meet our new neighbour."

There was nothing for it. With a sigh of resigned defeat, Harry pushed open the door and stepped into the kitchen.

His aunt sat at the table, primly sipping tea from a china cup. The look of horror on Petunia's face when her nephew walked into the room would have amused Harry had he not been so used to it. She hurriedly turned to her companion, a dark-haired woman sitting opposite, and offered a hasty explanation for Harry's existence.

"Please excuse the boy. My sister's child, you know. Orphaned in a car accident. Harry, go and clean yourself up at once!"

There was a barely concealed venom in his aunt's voice but Harry was not listening. He was gaping in disbelief at their visitor. The woman stared back at him through severe, square framed spectacles.

Harry couldn't get his brain to process what was going on. What on earth was his Transfigurations professor doing here in Privet Drive? And why was she having tea with Aunt Petunia?

It was Professor McGonagall who broke the silence. Her lips thinned in disapproval as the boy continued to stare at her in shock.

"Hello... Harry, is it?" she offered him a hand, which he shook bemusedly. "Minerva McGonagall. I've just moved into number 26. I was hoping your cousin could help me move some crates into the house. What are you gaping at, child?"

At the sound of her stern voice, Harry's brain kicked into gear. He noticed for the first time that McGonagall was dressed in Muggle clothes - a sweater and slacks. Her hair was coiled in an elegant twist at the back of her neck. Catching her drift, Harry played along.

"N-nothing. I'll help you if you like, Mrs McGonagall." he offered. He saw his Head of House wince and felt sure he would pay for the 'Mrs' later. He continued hurriedly, "Dudley won't be home for hours"

"He's collecting money for the local primary school" simpered Dudley's deluded mother. Harry was sure he saw McGonagall suppress a smile.

Aunt Petunia was about to speak when a knock at the front door interrupted them.

"That will be my husband" said McGonagall.

Harry looked at her blankly. The three made there way into the hall and Petunia opened the door. For the second time in the last ten minutes Harry Potter felt his jaw drop. Standing on the doorstep, in Muggle clothes and with cropped hair and beard, was Albus Dumbledore!

Harry watched in amazed disbelief as his Muggle Aunt and the greatest wizard of the century exchanged pleasantries about the weather. Dumbledore too had boycotted his usual flamboyant wizarding robes. Harry had seen wizards in Muggle clothes before, most notably at the Quidditch world cup. At worst the effect had been ridiculous. But his professors had clearly done their homework. Together they gave the appearance of a rather well-to- do couple, settling down to quiet suburban retirement.

Looking up, he realised that their visitors were getting ready to leave.

"Come along, Mr Potter." called McGonagall.

Instinctively, Harry moved to obey. Aunt Petunia grabbed him roughly by the arm as he passed her by.

"You'd better behave yourself!" she hissed in his ear. "These are nice, respectable people. I don't want them to know about your abnormality. I won't have them hearing anything about...about your sort!"

Harry nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It was enough to satisfy Petunia. Pushing him to the door she bid her new neighbours goodbye.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Minerva." she smiled "You too, Mr McGonagall."

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up in surprise but McGonagall's eyes filled with malevolent glee. Without another word they turned and made their way to the gate. Harry followed, his head spinning.

A/N: Stay tuned for Fit the Second, in which Minerva and Albus find a novel approach to sleeping arrangements. Same cat time, same cat channel.

P.S: Hit the review button if you love Minerva McGonagall ; )