Welcome to Haruno Mansion

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Warning: Some OOCness, bad language and slight hint of shounen-ai, plus Orochimaru's creepiness. (You notice I like making fun of him? It's fun, really, you should try!)

Pairing: Here we have no real pairing just a lil' hint of many many pairings of both hetero and shounen-ai!

Note: Well, well, what do we have here? An update! Finally, lazy Chesiere managed to move her rooted ass! Happy? No? Whatever! Since I'm now on sugar high, I'm happy! Whee! Better have some green tea. (I've become addicted to green tea lately.)

Chapter IV: Of roses, candles and...riceballs?

Sasuke woke up with a slight dizziness in his head. Forcing his eyes back to focus, he scanned the room. It was in a dim room lit with aroma candles, of which scent was giving him a headache. The room was elaborately decorated in a style that reminded one a lot of a bedroom in those horrific vampire movies. That plus those red roses surrounded the bed. All these were sickly too romantic for Uchiha boy's taste that he felt like nauseating...

Yet the only thing that he found out of place was that... Why the hell do we have riceballs here!? ...The lovely round, white riceballs wrapped neatly with contrasting black nori sitting there on the porcelain plate waiting for him to grab one. The plate was surrounded by those bloody red roses, also.

Despite the weirdness of the situation, Sasuke found himself finally understanding Chouji for the first time in his life. His stomach rumbled badly. He hadn't eaten since morning and now he was starving to the bones. Screw the weirdness, I'm eating those riceballs!

As he sat up and tried to reach out for those round, white, delicious looking riceballs, he was pulled back down on the bed with a quick snap.

Snap.

What the- Sasuke's eyes widened when he noticed he was strapped to the kind-size bed. The riceballs now seemed to laugh at him as candles' light reflected off their surfaces like it did on a bald man's head. Crap. Sasuke cursed.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you're awake." came a smooth yet creepy voice as its owner approached the young boy from the shadow he hid in, waiting for the right moment to show up.

"Who're you?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "What do you want with me?"

"Oh, it seems I forgot to introduce myself." The man said, stepping closer into the light, letting the gentle glow of the candles caress his face. Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as he took in the sight of long dark hair, very pale face and of course, the evil purple eyeshadow. "You!"

The man smirked. "I see I'm quite popular here. Surely your sexy brother's talking about me, eh?"

Sasuke continued to stare at the man. "You are..."

The man grinned, tilting his head slightly so that the light could bounce off his golden earring adding the stunning effect. "Yessssss."

"Michael Jackson."

The man fell to the floor comically, crushing those blooming roses beneath him, a large sweatdrop forming at the back of his head. "I'm not Michael Jackson!" he finally said as he regained his composure. "My name's Orochimaru and I'd be glad if you call my name with your lovely voice, pretty boy."

"Whatever..." The raven haired-boy growled. "Give me my riceballs."

The man addressed himself as Orochimaru walked over to the table and picked one of the riceballs then walked back to stand next to the restrained boy. "Give it to me." Sasuke glared and tried to reach out. But it was no use. The strap did it obligation perfectly, pulling him back down.

Snap.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk." Orochimaru grinned his sadistic grin, waving a finger in front of the boy teasingly. "Not until you call my name, Sasuke-kun."

"Damnit. Give it to me."

"No."

Snap.

"Gimme."

"No."

Snap.

"Gimme."

"No."

"Give it to me!"

Snap.

"No."

Snap.

"Asshole."

Orochimaru sighed and giving the stubborn boy one last glance, he called his subordinate and picked up his cell phone. "I'm gonna make a deal then." he said, his golden eyes gleaming evilly.

xxxxxxxxxx

A giant black Harley screeched its stop in front of the gorgeous mansion of the Harunos. The man on the seat then took off his sunglasses, revealing two obsidian orbs, matching with his long black hair kept in a ponytail. Silver chain attached on the black leather belt clinked sharply as its owner pulled out the bike's key and swung one of his long legs over the seat and dropped down gracefully on one side. After missing a certain pink haired-girl's arrival the previous night and making no appearance in the last three chapters, Uchiha Itachi, big brother of the ill-fatedly abducted Uchiha Sasuke, was finally home.

Opening the front door casually, the indifferent Uchiha slipped off his heavy jacket and quickly flopped down onto one comfortable couch, not bothering to take off his gloves just yet. Unfortunately, it was such a bad time to be home at the moment...

In the other room, Mitarashi Anko's foul mood of waking up with a terrible hang over skyrocketed, her temper soared so high beyond the boiling point that the water flooding in the Haruno Mansion's basement miraculously evaporated into thick humid mist. And now she was storming up the seemingly endless stairs, needing something to vent her wrath out on.

...She found one. One certain sleeping gorgeous Uchiha in hot black leather. A totally clueless victim.

"Wake up, leather slut!" She sang sweetly, knocking a vase Naruto used the last of his pocket money to replace over it shattered on the floor to enhance the sweetness of her beautiful song that was oh-so-truly-against violence.

Obsidian orbs narrowed as soon as they snapped open on hearing the rude insult. Itachi sat up, meeting Anko's equally blood-spilling gaze. "What is it that you want, woman?"

At the moment, the mist suddenly made itself known as it floated into the room and heavily enveloped Anko like her battle aura. "What the fxxk did you to do my boy!? You ::beep:: ::beep:: !!!" The rest of the sentence was censored due to the inappropriate use of words.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" He asked in a dangerous voice--very dangerous voice that every criminal would flee or break down like a cry baby hearing it. Yet that didn't seem to work with Mitarashi Anko as she had proven immune to Sasuke's evil Uchiha glare before. "Don't try my anger, boy. I will ask one last time." She raised her voice. "What did you do to my good boy little basement pump?"

"And I thought you said the pump was a bad boy last night." came a quiet voice yet its sarcastic tone wasn't amiss.

"Neji, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

At this Neji's lips corners lifted up into a mysterious smile. "Fate brings me here." he replied.

Silence took over the place for a while as a wisp of wind came from nowhere and blew away the heavy mist aka Anko's battle aura. And suddenly!

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Out of the blue, the phone rang.

xxxxxxxxxx

According to what Naruto said that Gaara had changed by being with Naruto, Shikamaru had to say he couldn't agree more, for now the two boys were...well, stupidly fighting over the last bowl of ramen remained for the day. Apparently, Gaara had been around Naruto too much and vice versa.

Right now, the calm redhead was winning by having his chopsticks already dipped into the soup while the blonde was trying to win back by trying desperately to snatch the said chopsticks from his friend. Gaara merely glared at him. To everybody else, the two made such a ridiculous sight yet to someone like Nara Shikamaru...it was only bothersome and utterly stupid.

"Back off, Gaara! The ramen's mine!" Naruto declared, trying to pull Gaara's chopsticks out of his grip.

"...Uzumaki Naruto." Gaara said, glaring. "You should admit your defeat already." As he said this, he made sure to slurp the noodle down loud enough for everyone in the canteen to hear. "This bowl of ramen is mine."

"Nononononono! You panda-tanuki-look-alike!" Naruto protested, now pulling at Gaara's elbow, trying to get him away from the precious. "It's mine! My precious! Mine!" Gaara ignored him and made that annoying slurping sound again.

Naruto pouted and tried again. Kiba sniggered.

For Sakura...well, for Sakura, it was the most annoying sight in the world minus a 20 times close-up at Lee's eyebrows. (Sorry, Lee's fan. I'd rather say Gai but he hasn't entered the picture yet.) "Would you two stop that?" She wanted so much to snap at them like that but all she could do now was trying to be patient and completely ignored the fuming Inner Sakura.

"Hey, where's Neji and Sasuke?" asked Chouji, playing around in his now empty dish with his fork, emitting unhealthy sound to sensitive ears that could easily compete with the Gaara's slurping one.

Shino shrugged. "No idea." And resumed back to read his half-finished insect encyclopedia.

Naruto snorted. "Who knows. Maybe those two are secretly dating." He stole a glance at Gaara again and when he saw that there was no opening he continued: "I won't be surprise if Sasuke's gay."

"Naruto-kun..." The ever gentleman Rock Lee was about to object Naruto as he knew where this conversation was heading yet...

"How dare you insult Sasuke-kun like that!?" Sakura suddenly stood up, her emerald eyes blazing. She shoved her ramen bowl in front of him and said: "Let you savor your favorite ramen. I'm going to find Sasuke-kun." And with that she left the table.

Lee looked at his friends around the table but said nothing as he followed Sakura.

Naruto blinked, looking quite hurt. "What did I say wrong?" He then asked, not noticing that Gaara beside him had already finished the bowl.

"Looks like the girl has her crush already." Kiba said, patting Akamaru's head slowly.

TBC

Arggghhhhhh! Don't kill me! Don't kill me! I'm sorry for being mean to poor Naruto-kun in this chappie! Don't kill me! I promise it'll get better for him since I love Naruto-kun too! Who wouldn't? (But it's so fun torturing people. Hehehe.) …Why does it seem this is turning into a SasuSaku? I swear it won't! Read the pairing note! Well, it's canon that Sakura likes Sasuke but hey, you'll see what I can do in this fic. Mwahahahaha!

Anyway, do me a favor: review please! Review makes me happy!