Author´s Note: Rating changes - mild R I guess... just to be sure. Thanks for reading (Sci Fi Fan Gillian especially, thanks for reviewing), this is the final chapter. No sequel, it will be on TV tonight :) not as shippy as I have made it, but... Feel free to email what happened, I am not going to see it cause I live in Finland! Ugh! :)

-Lia

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He had promised to be there for her, always. And still he had pushed her away. Like he had done before. Only this time she knew it was over.

She felt the tears burning in her eyes, but she forced them back. She would not cry.

She did not understand. He was afraid, she knew that. But they had been afraid before. No longer afraid of being caught by those who didn´t understand, they would quit before being forced apart, but afraid of losing the other, losing the other to the death itself.

And now she was alone. No, not alone. She had someone in her life. Someone who made her laugh, and made her feel special. Not the way he had. Never like Jack O´Neill had. But Pete was there.

And it was then when her life changed.

The mission went wrong, horribly wrong. He had been hit. And she had been lost, terrified. She couldn´t live without him. And she sat by his bed, holding his hand and praying to the God she wanted to be up there.

Then, suddenly, without a warning she had lost her best friend. Cassandra losing her mother, and Daniel Jackson losing the woman he loved.

Janet Frasier had died in the arms of the man she had promised to marry someday. A day that would never come.

The first off-world mission after everything was easy. Nothing but trees and rocks as far as you could see, making the three archeologists with them happy. And seeing Daniel at least interested about the rocks again, made the rest of the team happy. He had been lost without Janet.

Jack O´Neill glanced around the small camp the two teams had put up and frowned. She was nowhere to seen.

He found her by the small lake, and he felt his heart aching as he listened her crying. Without a word he sat next to her, and wrapped his arm around her. She turned to look at him, and the wave of longing to feel him washed over her, and she kissed him. Hard, needing, and with the same passion he kissed her back.

A long time ago she had made a rule when they were off-world. A rule that allowed them to sleep together, to be close to each other, talk and touch. Nothing else. He had dared to kiss her sometimes, and she had never pulled away. But nothing else.

And now she was breaking their rule.

She left out a soft moan as his hands found away under her shirt. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down on the soft grass with her. She arched her back, rubbing her body slowly against him, and he let out a groan of pleasure.

Still half dressed he finally entered her, and she was more than ready. She bit her lips to hold back a cry of his name as he started to move. Her nails left marks on his back, and his hold onto her arms tightened, and she was sure he was leaving bruises. But nothing that mattered, nothing but the other.

Tears started to fall down on her face, and for a moment he stopped, worried that he really was hurting her. But she shook her head, her eyes begging him to continue. And he did. And she felt the pleasure washing over her, over and over again before he finally emptied himself into her.

She half expected him to roll over and walk away. After all, they weren´t together anymore. He owed her nothing. But he did not move. He knew he should have, they were far enough from the camp and from the others, and he knew his orders to stay there was being followed, but still...

He lifted his head to look at her, kissed her damp face lovingly, brushing the tears away with his thumb.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

She nodded her head. But the fresh tears in her eyes betrayed her.

He finally pulled away, pulled his pants up and straightened his shirt. Then helped her to dress before pulling her so close she was almost sitting in his lap. And she felt safe again. And she never wanted to let go.

She wanted to be with him.

He had hated Pete Shanahan since the beginning, never really giving him the chance to earn his trust. He knew he wasn´t being fair, after all, he had broke off the relationship with her because of assorted reasons even he didn´t understand. But she was with someone else now, and yet she was in his arms, and she felt so good, so familiar.

But Pete was still there. And he wanted to ask about him, but couldn´t say the words. Their love making only moments ago had been more of comfort than anything else. To prove to each other that they were still alive. He had missed her, and now having her in his arms again, he decided to ignore the feelings of the other man who awaited her on Earth.

"I want to be with you." She whispered her thoughts to him.

He nodded silently against her neck where his head was resting. He wanted to be with her too. Always, forever. Till death do us part, he thought.

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But still, she was seeing Pete, and he spent his nights at the base; it was easier than lying on his bed alone, having her things and scent around him.

Their life had turned. And not for better.

And then he had sacrificed himself for the people of earth. He was saving them, and dying himself. And she hated him for that. She was losing him, and it looked like there was nothing they could do.

The last night spent together before the mission was filled with sadness from her part. She couldn´t stop the tears falling, and he let her cry in his arms. He would only regret the time he had told her she would be happier with someone else. By now they both knew better. And he regretted the lost time.

Over and over they made love that night. Over and over they told how much they loved each other.

The mission was successful, they won the fight. But he had just lost his battle. And she had lost him. And now she sat alone in his home, the silence around her keeping her company that she didn´t want from anyone else. And they had tried.

She was completely lost without him. And no longer she had the strength to fight. She was giving up.

She was selfish that way too.

Again she felt the tears roll down on her cheeks, and she let them fall. She was too tired to hear the door open, too tired even to see the man standing in front of her until he spoke.

"Sam, they have found a way." Daniel said softly.

And she followed him out, too afraid to feel relieved yet. She would wait until he was back in her arms. But she couldn´t keep a small smile creeping on her lips as she saw Teal´c and Cassandra waiting her by the car.

"Good to see you smile again, Sammie." Cassandra said using the nickname only Jacob used about his daughter. "Your dad and uncle George are waiting for us." She continued wrapping her arm around the older woman´s shoulder.

Sam sighed, feeling some of the pain ease.

"We will save him. We will get him back to you, to us." Cassie promised, and Sam felt her heart ache because of the love she felt for the girl. She had dealt so much lately, and she was still as strong as her mother would have been in the situations like that.

She gave her a smile in reply and glanced up to the clear sky, sending a prayer to the God she now believed was up there. This has to be the way, she thought. It had to be. They deserved another chance. So much had been sacrificed, so much had been lost. They simply deserved it.

The End