Incase you've never heard the song, or haven't heard it in a long time, I have added the real lyrics below and some sound files to give you the rhythm.

Paul Simon sings the intro: http:www.medialab.chalmers.se/guitar/sounds/50.ways.wav

WPG Trio sings their cover version:

A guy named Future Man sings another parody:

My Parody:

The problem is all the fics I've read said Hermione

Harry loved Mary Sue but she died so tragically

I'd like to bet you that a muggle too can see

There must be fifty ways to grieve your Sue-er

She said I'm really out of character and rude

Sure it's morbid but those stinking Mary Sues are always booed

So I'll sing a spoof

at the risk of being sued

There must be fifty ways to grieve your Sue-er

Fifty ways to grieve your Sue-er

Just slip 'er off a boat, n'float,

Ship 'er to Milan, Ron

Check 'er with a stake, Jake,

incase she comes back

Hop on the Knight Bus,

pretend she musta got lost

Seal 'er in a tin, Gin,

and label it peas

Drop 'er down a gorge, George,

mummify 'er head, Fred

Don't need to be mean, Dean,

just listen to me

Use a lot'a tape, Snape,

stick 'er to a wild ape

Just drop off the bo-dy,

or get yourself fleas

Awe Harry that Mary Sue was always such a pain

Sure she killed Voldemort with ease, but she was also slain

He said, I kinda figured that,

but could you please sustain

this spoof of "fifty ways"

He said why don't we both just leave her turning blue

And I believe, in the morning we can chuck her in the floo.

Then someone cursed him and we realized it probably was Sue

She must be seeking vengeance in the sequels

seeking vengeance in the sequels

Actual Lyrics:

The problem is all inside your head, she said to me

The answer is easy if you take it logically

I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free

There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude

Furthermore I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued

So I repeat myself,at the risk of being crude

There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

Fifty ways to leave your lover

Just slip out the back, Jack,

make a new plan, Stan

Don't need to be coy, Roy,

just listen to me

Hop on the bus, Gus,

don't need to discuss much

Just drop off the key, Lee,

and get yourself free

Just slip out the back, Jack,

make a new plan, Stan

Don't need to be coy, Roy,

just listen to me

Hop on the bus, Gus,

don't need to discuss much

Just drop off the key, Lee,

and get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain

I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again

I said, I appreciate that,

and could you please explain

About the fifty ways

She said, why don't we both just sleep on it tonight

And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light

And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right

There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

Fifty ways to leave your lover