::this fanfiction has been edited to comply with rated R standards and contains mature, non-explicit, non-graphic sexual acts::

Vergin: Hahahahahaaha, okay, okay. Hi. I'm going by the name Vergin. I listen to punk rock and hardcore and indie rock and stuff like that, yeah. My favorite band is Glassjaw, for crying out loud! So, uh, I'm kind of really embarrassed to divulge that I'm in love with the song "Toxic" by, yes, Brittney Spears.

But I am, and I'm woman enough to admit it, and that song inspired me to write this, which I'm rather proud of. This is not a songfic. Just thought I'd clarify. I would highly recommend illegally downloading Brittney's song (yes, steal from that hoe!) and listening to it on repeat while reading this. I included the lyrics as I thought they were; I realize now some of the lines are off, but hey, my inspiration was derived from this version of the song, so I present it as such.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything in the world of Harry Potter and/or Brittney Spears, nor do I officially endorse any illegal actions as a result of or in conjunction with this fanfiction. (Got to cover my arse, haven't I?)

WARNING: Duh, this is male on male action. Don't like? Think it's "wrong"? Well effin' do not read it then!!!! I posted this a while ago, but I doubt anyone really saw it, cuz my account was deactivated within the hour (new record, yay.). Yeah. So it's edited now...link to unedited version included, just take out the spaces when you copy and paste....but it's still boy-boy lovin', kay? Plus there's pretty fonts on the web page, yeah. So all you prudes take a hike.

"Toxic" by Brittany Spears[' song writer]

Baby can't you see

I'm callin'

A guy like you should wear a warnin'

It's dangerous

I'm fallin'

There's no escape

I can't wait

I need a hit, baby gimmie it

You're dangerous

I'm lovin' it

Too high, can't come down

Losin' my head spinnin' round and round

'til you feel me down

With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride

You're toxic

Tongue slippin' on mine

With the taste of the boys of paradise

I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

And I love what you do, but you know that you're toxic

It's gettin' late to give you up

I took a sip from the devil's cup

So lonely it's taking over me

Too high, can't come down

It's in the air and it's all around

Can you feel it now?

With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride

You're toxic

Tongue slippin' on mine

With the taste of the boys of paradise

I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

And I love what you do, but you know that you're toxic

But you know that you're toxic

(Taste of your lips I'm on a ride)

You're toxic

Tongue slippin' on mine

With the taste of the boys of paradise

I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride

You're toxic

Tongue slippin' on mine

(Toxic)

With the taste of the boys of paradise

I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

Intoxicate me now

with your lovin' now

I think im ready now

(I think I'm ready now)

Intoxicate me now

with your lovin' now

I think im ready now

x x x x xx x x xx x x x xxx x x

Toxic

by Vergin

His eyes traveling up my body, the kind of appreciative sweep that catches me off guard. Did he just--? Those eyes reach my face and the slender, guarding brows jump into his platinum hairline, forgetting for once to furrow nastily over their silver-blue charges. He starts snickering, elbowing his friends and pointing, making fun of me. I act as if it doesn't bother me, that I think he's so stupid--too below me to even rile me up-- but I think my blushing might be giving me away.

"Oh, ignore him, Harry. He's nothing to look at himself," a brunette girl assured him loftily. If anything, Harry's blushing worsened.

"Er--thanks, Hermione," he muttered, turning away from Malfoy's sneering face. Hermione seemed to realize what she'd said.

"I didn't mean--I mean, you're rather nice looking--uh, not that I was looking," she floundered. "Malfoy's such a git," she surmised, if only to put herself back on firm footing. Not too many of the other girls seemed to agree with her, though, if one could judge by the admiring, giggling females orbiting the blonde. Ron clapped Harry on the back.

"Don't worry, mate, that ferret's got nothing on you, haha." He managed to smoothly put himself between his best friends, throwing an arm around Hermione. He definitely was more comfortable in just his swimming trunks than Harry was. This was most likely because he had put on a good amount of weight in muscle over the summer holiday and had sprouted up another few inches. Harry, by comparison, felt like a little kid, even though he'd just turned sixteen. Sure, he'd grown a little bit...but Malfoy and Ron were both several inches taller than him. Well so what. I tower over Hermione...by at least two or three inches. Ron was steering Hermione towards the lake and Harry didn't follow. It was totally obvious to anyone but the two of them they were crushing on each other.

I should give them some "alone time." Harry grinned. For someone so smart, Hermione was rather clueless as to whether Ron "like liked" her, or something ridiculously stupid and feminine along those lines. (He'd accidentally overheard her bemoaning the impossibility of tricking Ron into "revealing his true feelings" about her to Ginny, Ron's younger sister.) His red haired freckly friend was equally foolish, attempting constantly to impress the girl with pranks and casually bad-mouthing Viktor Krum, both of which only earned her irritation rather than her affection. Harry was wisely staying the hell out of their confusing, on-and-off, hand holding-and-bickering relationship. In his opinion, Hermione should just ask him out and be done with it.

A derisive snort brought him out of his musings. He instantly tensed.

"What's the matter, Potter? Not cool enough for the loser squad, even? Or are the weasel and the beaver off to mate? I shudder to think the likes of them are allowed to reproduce," a cold, mocking voice drawled behind him. Harry whirled around, fuming.

"What the hell is the matter with you? Do you get off on being a prick, or is that job reserved for your mother?" Harry growled. The smirk was wiped off that pale, pointed face, to Harry's satisfaction, but it was replaced with a rather scary looking expression.

"Don't talk about my mother like that."

"Don't talk about my friends like that!" Harry replied hotly. The frightening expression lifted from Malfoy's face.

"Well, who else am I going to make fun of, then? Your mother's dead, after all," he retorted smugly.

"Yes, thanks, I noticed," Harry said coldly, turning from the tall Slytherin and stalking away. Maybe coming to this was a bad idea after all. But the prospect of leaving the Dursleys' a week early had been too tempting. A party, much less a week long summer camp at Hogwarts, was just too good to pass up. Even if it was Slytherin-funded. Bunch of rich, ambitious assholes.

Harry stormed away from the other students hanging out by the lake, not sure where he was heading, but sure all he wanted right now was to get away from Draco Malfoy and to try and control the ringing in his ears. If he didn't get control of himself, he'd be in trouble for accidental magic.

The last time he had seen Malfoy, the boy had been passed out and covered in bat bogeys, among other curses. Stupid of me to think that might have taught him some humility. The only thing he loves more than himself is--no, I don't think there is anything. Maybe power. I'd love to force a lesson in manners into him...he thought darkly. Harry paused, taking in his surroundings. He had strode straight into the Forbidden Forest, though not so far that the bright August afternoon sun was obscured much. He crinkled his nose, realizing he was clad only in a pair of somewhat uncomfortably wet red board shorts and foam sandals. He sighed, plopping down onto a large flat bolder and staring out into space.

I shouldn't let Malfoy ruin this for me. I'm away from Privet Drive a whole seven days early, I'm in the place I love, with my best friends in the world, even if they are a bit involved with each other. I should be happy. But his thoughts kept straying to platinum blonde hair and cruel silvery eyes. Eyes that had-- Okay. Get a grip. Malfoy did NOT check me out. He gave me a once over, true, but it's cause he hates me so much and finds me so repulsive, just as I find him. But the lurching in his stomach region was embarrassing, even with nobody else around to see him blush. Alright. So maybe, in an objective sense miles away from his personal opinion, he could kind of, just a little bit, maybe see what all those girls hovered 'round him for. He was tall, thin, muscular, and good looking in a snotty, aristocratic sort of way. But that didn't change the way--the way--the way Malfoy had totally been checking him out before he realized it was him, Harry, his arch-nemesis!

Harry made a noise of frustration, flopping onto his back and closing his bright green eyes. He hated that nasty little cockroach, pitied him even, and was constantly humiliated and abused by him. Why was he even considering this route of thought? Why did the idea of Draco Malfoy finding him attractive fill him with such satisfaction and gloating pride? Because he secretly found Malfoy hot and felt it was only fair the stupid blonde was similarly tortured and confused? Yeah, that was it. And since when have I found boys hot? Harry shook his head. He felt like an arse. What his friends would say if they knew what he was thinking about the rudest, most bigoted, evil teen in the entire school, Harry didn't want to imagine.

"Lonely, loser?" Harry started, eyes flying open. He couldn't believe that bastard had actually followed him out here to bother him.

"No, I'm visiting with my imaginary friends. Go away." Harry rolled onto his side away from the other boy, not wanting to look at him. He heard the crinkle of black nylon as Malfoy sat next to him on the rock.

"Nah, I'd rather stay, thank you." Harry sat up indignantly.

"Get lost, Malfoy! I don't want to hear any more childish insults today!" He found himself indecently close to the other boy, vivid green eyes hidden behind round glasses staring into frosty blue ones mere inches away. The silence hung tense and electric between them for a long moment until--

"You're supposedly a powerful little wizard, now. Aren't you ever going to magic away that abysmal eyesight of yours?" The question caught Harry so off guard his mouth worked like a fish for a second until he scowled, pushing himself off the boulder.

"What's it to you, anyhow?" he said angrily. Malfoy lounged back onto his elbows.

"Nothing. I just figured they must--get in the way, you know." Harry stopped in his pacing to shoot Malfoy a suspicious sidelong glance. The blonde was splayed out on the rock, damp white-blonde locks hanging in his guarded eyes; toned, willowy body half nude in plain black swim trunks that were hanging too low on pale hip bones. The drawstring had come undone, those shorts were going to fall off, it was indecent, the way the lightest trail of curly blonde hairs snaked from his defined abdominal into his loosened fly... Malfoy snickered. Harry quickly looked away, mortified he'd been caught--staring--at that.

"Like what you see, Potter?" he teased maliciously. "I always knew you were a fairy."

"I'm not a fairy!"

"You're a fairy," Malfoy corrected dismissively, and Harry heard him rising. He dared not turn and look. "It's okay, loser, I'm not going to tease you for being a fairy."

Harry couldn't help himself. "You're not??" Malfoy burst into laughter.

"Of course I am, you idiot! You just made it a whole lot easier by admitting it," he grinned. Harry whirled for the second time to yell at the other boy, to deny it, only to find, to his surprise, that his personal space was completely invaded. He reflexively took a step back, but Malfoy's hand on his wrist stopped him. Harry swallowed hard, cheeks flushing, but he stared defiantly into calculating silvery blue eyes. He had to crane his neck up a bit to keep eye contact with the taller teen, but he refused to be intimidated.

Malfoy sniggered softly, licking his thin, soft pink lips. The blonde reached up and slipped something into his mouth, but before Harry could even wonder what on earth that had been about, those lips were on his, that tongue diving into his own mouth. His hands were instantly pressed against Malfoy's bare chest, to throw him off, but for some reason his muscles were locked.

The taste of something hot and bitter burned into Harry's tongue at the contact, spreading heat through him like poison. His body quaked in Malfoy's muscular arms, his knees threatening to give out. Slick and controlling, the blonde's wet muscle worked in and out of Harry's mouth, and he found himself responding fervently, hands sliding up to grasp platinum locks harshly.

He felt himself falling, but it was only Malfoy dragging him to the ground, rolling on top of him. Harry moaned, his body arching into the Slytherin's. His head was swimming, his nerves humming; every inch of skin touching his was overwhelming him, exhilarating him in an obscene way.

"What the fuck did you do to me?!" he panted, feeling an inescapable lust swelling inside him. He threw a slender leg over Malfoy's waist and ground up against him. The blonde shuddered, eyelids fluttering.

[okay, yeah. This is so edited. Please go read the real version at

ht tp: w w w.g eocities. com/ solian dxpyne/T oxicunedited. htm

(take the spaces out) yeah, cause censorship sucks.]

"Ahh," he managed, still trying to sound superior and snotty with the Boy Who Lived crushing their bodies together roughly. "Don't tell me you've never, ahh, never heard of E-Erotica Mints, Potter? You really are naïve..."

He shoved Malfoy flat on his back once more, breaking the kiss. "Why--?" Harry choked out.

"You....moron...I like you..." the platinum haired boy panted.

"Funny way of showing it..." he muttered, a giddiness that had nothing to do with his current state of arousal filling him.

He threw himself into the motions as sweat poured down his temples, rocking them so hard he could scarcely breathe. Lean, muscular legs spread even wider for him, Malfoy's screams and moans came even louder for him, and Harry felt his own form seizing up. He fought to hold on, clenching his fist around the blonde's weeping arousal. One stroke, two--and Malfoy orgasmed, Harry quickly following suit. The world went white, release swallowing them up in its throes.

Harry blinked, trying to shake the fog from his brain, but everything was still bleary. He was lying atop the Slytherin's naked form; he could hear the cold boy's heartbeat still running rapid.

"I-I can't see--" Plastic poked him in the face. "Ow." He snatched his glasses from the other boy, feeling stupid.

"Told you they get in the way." He could hear the smirk in Malfoy's voice. Harry swore under his breath: his glasses were broken. He rolled off of the taller teen to stare up at the forest canopy through the fractured lens. Malfoy sat up, grunting with discomfort. "If I can't walk, you are carrying me back to the castle."

Harry glanced over at the Slytherin boy, shocked to find he looked, well, cute. Up on his elbows, pouting and grimacing as he rubbed his rear, wearing only his birthday suit: he was cute. Most likely after-effects of those stupid slut mints Malfoy had given him. He was going to be regretting this. Just, not yet.

He fastened his trunks again and rummaged in his pockets until he found his wand. Pulling his glasses off gingerly, he pointed his wand at them.

"Repairo." He put them back on his face. "You....you alright, then?" Malfoy looked up at him, for the moment, appearing deceptively innocent.

"......Yeah. Just hand me my trunks." Harry located them and tossed them to the naked teen. He dressed and rolled to his feet, glancing at Harry. "This doesn't change anything between us, Harry," he sneered arrogantly. Harry just stared at him in silence. His lack of response finally seemed to unnerve the blonde. "What?" he demanded. Harry just smirked, rolling his eyes. He turned and began to walk away, leaving Malfoy in the clearing.

"Nothing, Draco."

x x x x xxx x xx x xx x x x x x x xx x

"Harry! What the bloody hell happened to you??"

Harry was momentarily confused. What is he--ohhh. Harry was now aware that he was covered in dirt, grass stains, and rows off bloodied scratches. He smoothed his hair futilely to avoid answering immediately, brushing out several twigs and leaves. Ron raised an eyebrow.

"I went walking in the forest--and, urm, fell down a hill," he lied, smiling sheepishly. Hermione tutted disapprovingly.

"You need to be more careful, you could have been really hurt! Why were you--" she began, but Harry was quick to interrupt her.

"Back to the castle, please? I'm starved, and it's getting late." As if to punctuate his sentence, Hermione shivered. She was only wearing a light blue bikini with a towel around her waist. Ron rubbed her arms rapidly to warm her, and she blushed, smiling in an embarrassed, yet pleased manner. The three made their way towards the castle.

"What have you and Ron been doing all this time, swimming?" he asked innocently, changing the subject. They both blushed, fumbling for an appropriately reply.

"Well, er, uhm...we were--" Ron tried uncomfortably.

"We were talking--uh, for a while," Hermione cleared her throat, giving their tall red haired friend a 'look.' She turned her attention back to Harry. "We were having a nice chat when," her expression darkened, "that slut Malfoy started doing things with some girl." Harry almost fell over, tripping over his own feet.

"'Doing things'? 'Doing things'?! More like fucking what was left of his pea brain out."

"Ron!" Hermione was scandalized.

"What??" Harry's heart was racing guiltily. They didn't--they couldn't have--have seen them, had they???

"I know! Isn't he disgusting? Everyone could hear him screaming back at the lake; it was awful. Completely ruined the mood," she muttered. "You didn't hear him?" she asked incredulously. Harry thought fast.

"That--that was Malfoy??" Harry faked. "I--I thought some poor creature in the forest was dying!" Ron cracked up.

"Hahaha, I'll never think of the cries of a ferret being murdered the same again!" Tears of mirth were escaping Ron's eyes. Harry didn't think it was that funny.

"Did--" Harry began hesitantly. "Did anyone see who--"

"No," Ron answered, still snickering. "The Slytherin girls were in a right state, nosey biddies, all jealous and wantin' ta know 'Who Draco was seeing!'" he simpered in imitation, scoffing. "I'd like to see the girl who gets a guy to yell like that-- I tell you, I think Malfoy's queer--"

"Oh, not that again," Hermione moaned. "Harry, tell Ron he's nuts."

Luckily, they'd reached the castle, so Harry could make his escape. "Uh, definitely. Nutty as they come," he replied in a voice a bit higher than usual. As he hurried up the grand staircase, Hermione called after him.

"Wait, Harry, I thought you said you were hungry?"

"I, uh, I really need a shower first. Y'know, after falling down that hill and everything."

"Oh. Well, see you later then." Hermione and Ron waved, heading for the Great Hall.

"Later." Harry rushed up to the fourth floor showers, doing a quick check to make sure they were empty, and then proceeded to strip out of his dirty shorts and clean himself. After his shower, he made his way up to the Gryffindor common room in a towel. In his dormitory, as he made to get dressed, a small package on his bed caught his attention.

Sitting on the edge of his mattress, he unwrapped the brown paper and found a note and a box of--Erotica Mints. Harry felt his cheeks color instantly. He ripped open the little tin and yanked out a paper with instructions. How were these not illegal?? Love potions, anything that ensnared the mind against its better judgment, were highly dangerous and usually a controlled substance, if not outlawed outright. Knowing Malfoy, they probably wereillegal. So help me, if these things have any lasting effects... He read the paper:

Erotica Mints

Bring out the passion missing in your relationship.

One mint shared with a kiss, and all erotica between you and your partner will surface!

Warning: will not work on unwilling partners.

Erotica Mints not recommended for the elderly, weak of heart, or those allergic to horseradish.

Individual results may vary.

Harry gaped. No. Effing. Way. He read and re-read the mints' directions in a state of horror. With a start, he remembered there had been a note as well. He snatched it up, unfolding it quickly.

Loser--

This box is on me. Don't expect any more favors. Use it when talking to your imaginary friends gets old. Though knowing you, that might be a while. You know where to find me.

Harry crumpled the note up and threw it against the wall, scowling. He sat on his bed, fuming, for what felt like a very long time, but was probably only minutes. Then he stooped quickly and retrieved the note, smoothing it out and folding it up again. Glancing around furtively, even though he knew he was all alone, Harry shoved the note and box of mints in the back of his nightstand drawer and resisted the urge to grin stupidly.

Well, he thought defensively, it's not like I'm the one getting it up the arse.

x x x x xxxx x xx xx x x x x x x

Vergin: So what did everybody think?? Is it worth continuing or should I leave it as a one-shot? Should I leave it as a one shot and write something new? Should I bury myself in my room and never defile JK Rowling's characters again? I hope the link worjed, if not e-mail me at blyndvijions at and yes I know it's a stupid email address: sue me.

Ah, well, that was my first Harry Potter fic, so yea. I hope some people liked it. Oh, and I made up "Erotica Mints," obviously. Feel free to steal them and use them as you see fit. Please review!