Okay, so here is the deal. I'm sure you're wondering why in God's name I updated this after it has been completed for about two years. Well, as you all know, this story was the crappiest thing I have ever done. The grammar was horrible, I was still using notepad (which is why all those words were misspelled), and the description was zilch. All in all, it was sucky. So I decided to rewrite it. I know, I know, The White Rose: Petals of Blood should be my first priority, but I just had to rewrite this. I was utterly humiliated when I read the un-beta-ed version, and it took a serious toll on my writing self-esteem (wait! It's gone now! I am still planning on writing until you get tried of me!) Then, my beta (Snea) told me that it was my first shot at real writing and that it was normal for the first story to be…icky. So, confidence replenished, I sat down, rewrote it up to chapter six, and this is what happened.
This is the corrected version of But I'm Only Human. There is more description, more details about what happened, and I ended up changing Raven's personality to where she wasn't this giddy, smiling version of a high Starfire. So, in this, she's a bit different than the original portrayal I wrote. I'm sure that this will get no new reviews, but I'm okay with that. So long as people can now read this story without twitching, I'm content.
Just so you know, the next chapter to TWR: PoB is currently being written.
Also, I have only managed to rewrite up to chapter six. The rest of the chapters will be deleted, and then reposted. I just didn't want to have to start from scratch again, so I was lazy and just replaced the chapters.
They were bored.
Slade had not caused pandemonium in weeks and the rest of the villains seemed to have followed his lead, leaving the Titans to do nothing more than sit around and wait for a robbery that would never happen.
Raven had read every book she could get her hands on, even going so far as to read Beast Boy's comics, despite the fact that she actually had to venture into the hellhole Beast Boy called his room. Cyborg and Beast Boy beat every game they had (including the ones they rented) and figured that pummeling each other would suffice in dousing the boredom. Robin had gotten tired of hitting the same punching bag for over two weeks and decided that if he sharpened anymore of his weapons, there would be nothing more than a sliver of metal. So he grudgingly plopped down to watch Beast Boy get his ass whooped by Cyborg. Starfire had attempted to make an earth dish from one of the cookbooks she had picked up at the bookstore, and after a few mishaps of burnt food and flicks of fire, finally succeeded in making the first eatable desert since her arrival on earth.
Raven tapped her foot in boredom, watching the warm colors bleed across the sky as the sun set behind the ocean. Beast Boy, an ice pack pressed to the side of his head to take down the swelling of another bump, groaned softly. "I am so bored."
Without looking at him, Raven said monotonously, "Yes, Beast Boy, we are aware of this. You don't have to remind us every five minutes." Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at her, water dripping down his jaw, and settled back into a pout.
Robin glanced at them, rolling his eyes. He was sitting Indian style on the counter in the kitchen, a small plate of Starfire's cake in hand. He watched her silently as he slid a forkful into his mouth, amused as she floated in mid-air, legs crossed and cookbook splayed open in her lap. When she brought the book to her face for closer inspection, Robin got a chance to read the title. He had to bite back a grin. "Cookbook for Dummies?"
Starfire glanced up, wide green eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden slide of his voice. She then smiled, closing the book to read the title. "It was a gift from Beast Boy."
Robin rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Starfire shoved her nose back in the book, let out a pleased grunt, and bounded off to rummage through the cupboards. She pulled back, glancing at Robin over her shoulder, eyebrows drawn together. "Robin, is there a reason why the cupboards are bare?"
He smiled, hopping off the counter and opening the cabinet closets to him. "I guess it's time we go shopping."
Cyborg walked in, covered in oil and a dirty wrench in hand. "Did I hear that we're going shopping? For what? Food?"
Beast Boy's head popped up over the couch on which he had been sprawled on lazily. "Naw duh, Cyborg." Cyborg glared, grabbing the red cloth around his neck and wiping the oil off his metal hands and chest.
Beast Boy plopped back down, one arm hanging off the huge couch, clawed fingers tapping rhythmically against the cloth. "It's better than staying here and doing nothing."
Raven glanced at him. "Nothing is all you do, Beast Boy."
His head lolled to the side so he could stare at her, eyebrow arched. "What happened to you just ignoring me? Now, you always have a comeback, and very good comeback I might add."
A ghost smile played over her lips before she turned back to watching the sun set, hands folded in her lap. He grinned, congratulating himself on ringing a small smile from her. Ever since Terra had been turned to stone, Beast Boy had made it a lifetime goal to get Raven to smile for him. It took his mind off the pain of losing Terra, which was the one thing he needed more than anything. He decided he would do everything in his power to get the dark teen to open up to him, even if it was nothing more than a small tilt of her lips. It was his sole mission in life and he was not going to give up, no matter how many bruises he obtained from her.
Starfire closed her book, slid it between the thick stack of cookbooks she had lined against the wall next the refrigerator, and moved to stand next to Robin. "Are we going to the Mall of Shopping?" She asked hopefully, hands twisting in excitement at the prospect of leaving the tower.
Robin hid a smile behind a grunt. He heard a thud and looked over to see Beast Boy sit up from his spot on the floor. He glared at Raven, tossing the useless ice pack to the side, then laughed nervously when she sent him an arched look. "You didn't have to push me off, ya know."
Raven stood up gracefully. "I did not push you off." She walked past him with all the poise of royalty. "I threw you off. There happens to be a difference."
Beast Boy grinned, leaning back on his palms. His booted feet were crossed at the ankles. "It seems that my sarcasm has rubbed off on you."
She stopped, turned her head, and looked at him with calm violet eyes, almost as if in agreement.
His heart skipped a beat, breath hitching ever so slightly. He covered it up with a cough. I never really paid much attention, but…Raven is beautiful. In a calm, creepy way, but still…
He glanced up, grinning almost sadly as she said, "Nothing of yours has rubbed of on me."
He sighed, picking himself off the ground and rubbing nonchalantly at the damp cloth over his shoulder where the water had dripped onto his uniform. I have a lot of work to do before I complete my goal. This may take a while . . . or a few hundred years. He grabbed the discarded ice pack from the floor, hand held beneath it as he stumbled to the sink.
Raven pulled up her hood, watching him silently from the corner of her eye as she tucked a stray strand of short hair behind her ear. He looked so sad, so…disappointed. After Terra's so called death, Beast Boy had rarely spoken to them for two solid months, shutting himself off in his room and trying to bury himself beneath the pain of losing someone he loved.
Raven had cooked tofu and fixed him a glass of soymilk everyday when he was in his room, despite her better judgment. She had comforted him; let him cry on her shocked shoulder even as her powers licked uncomfortably beneath her skin. And all the while, her feelings for him had changed with every dreary day that passed. She had never thought of Beast Boy the way she did now. She had always pegged him as the annoying, pesky Titan who was filled with nothing more than lame jokes and laughter. But, when he let her in, letting her see his hidden pain and sorrow, she started to feel more than just a friendship with the small shape shifter. And it terrified her, more than any thing she had felt before.
She took a deep breath that harbored on a sigh, walking into the kitchen with a slight frown. She opened the cabinet, scowled, and moved to the next in search of her tea. She slammed the cabinet, causing Beast Boy to jump at the sudden sound, arms crossed over her chest. "When are we going?"
Beast Boy grinned, his mood spiking up instantly. For some reason, he loved her attitude. It was so unpredictable, so random, leaving him wondering if the smallest thing would make her blow up like a grenade or force a smile to her face. He never knew what to expect from her.
And, though it didn't seem like it, he loved to figure people out, to know what triggered their temper or what started to get their mind churning. And Raven was exactly what he loved to read, though she was the most difficult. If he waited patiently, said the right words, did the right things, he could sometimes knock her walls down, a small emotion softening her normally hard eyes. And it pleased him to know he was one of the only people to make the dark sorceress feel, even if it was just the smallest hint of sentiment.
He knew she hated him for trying so hard, but he also knew she loved him for being the only one to try so hard. He knew she didn't know rather to beat him or hug him for being the only one to almost succeed. He knew, if only a little, about the real Raven, the one who could comfort someone, who could make them feel like they were something worthwhile, instead of the stupid klutz they pretended to be.
He saw that side of Raven the second day after Terra's stone death. She had brought him food, laying it down on his desk that held an ancient computer and assortment of comic books. He was sitting there on his bed, staring at nothing, eyes dead and heart shattering with each breath he took. She was walking out the door when she stopped, turning to watch him. She had stepped back into his room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. Her body language screamed of hesitance, but she stayed nonetheless.
He remembered watching her, waiting for her to say something cruel and useless, like, "It was for the best, Beast Boy," or "We'll all be better without her. I mean, she was working for Slade." But, she murmured something so unlike her. She said, "I'm sorry, Beast Boy. I know how much you loved her, and it will be hard for you to get over it. I… wish I could… have done something to save her. And I'm sorry I didn't." And that's when he finally allowed himself to break down.
He had buried his head in his hands, weeping. And when Raven pressed her tentative hand to his back, he latched onto her, crushing her to his body as if she was his last lifeline. She had rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles, her body slowly relaxing against him with each broken sob, finally leaning her head against his and letting him cry without saying a word.
When he was through and he tried to brush off his breakdown with a stupid joke, she had shaken her head and gently rubbed her thumb over a stray tear, barrier dropping. "Don't cover it up, Beast Boy. There…there's nothing wrong with breaking down once in awhile." And that is when he saw the real Raven. The Raven he had dreamed about bringing to life. The Raven he fallen in love with.
When he saw Terra turn to stone, he had sworn he would never love again. But, to his dismay, he had already been in love. And it wasn't Terra who occupied his heart. It was Raven. Mean, sarcastic, cantankerous Raven who ignored him and disliked all that he stood for.
Beast Boy liked to think he realized why she hated that side of him. It was because she couldn't show it. She couldn't laugh, or joke, or show any emotion without chipping away at the façade she had built so long before. And he knew it tore her apart, having to hold all the pain inside. It broke his heart to see her struggle to keep it all together. All of it was to protect them from harm, to protect all she loved and held dear, to protect them from her.
He watched her tap her foot in annoyance, eyes trained almost unseeingly onto the rapid movement of her boot against tile. She glanced over her shoulder and caught him watching her. She raised an eyebrow, hoping to hide the fact that her heart was beating like a jungle drum beneath her skin. She was thankful that her face was covered in the shadows cast by her hood and thoroughly hiding the blush staining her pale cheeks.
Starfire watched them, smiling coyly behind her hand. She might not have been from this planet, but she knew what love was. That was the one thing she understood, for in Tameran, love was just like it is on earth, though she had never experienced it first hand. That was, until she had kissed Robin for the first time.
Cyborg sighed, watching them all exchange loving looks with something akin to a pout gracing his features. Crossing his arms over his chest, he thought grudgingly, foot tapping restlessly against the floor, I need to go to the clubs or join some online-love-chat-thingy, 'cause this is just wrong. I am not going to be the only single teen in this tower. He then grinned devilishly as a pretty face floated before him, bathed in a corny light. It happened to be the girl who worked at the automotive store that he practically lived in. She knew just about everything dealing with mechanics as he did. He made a mental note to go and flirt awhile after they finished shopping.
He cleared his throat loudly, catching everyone's attention quickly. "I thought we were going to go shopping for food? Or," he said with a coy smile, "ya'll can just stay here and exchange looks of puppy love while I shop and get all the junk food and meat I can get my hands on." That comment earned him four deadly stares, complete with a cackle of black energy dancing around his feet. He held up a hand, surrendering in hidden amusement as he kept a watchful eye on the blackness taking over his feet. "I'll take that as a no. Well, why don't ya'll go change and we'll head out?"
They all walked passed him, their eyes all squinted in a glare. He shivered. Kinda creepy, having four teens, all with murder in their eyes, drill holes into him as they passed. He shivered again, thankful that the energy disappeared as the door closed behind Raven.
Sitting down on the couch, he searched for the remote with his eyes, mumbling unintelligently when he couldn't find it. He hunted for the ever-disappearing remote while the rest of the Titans slipped into their street clothes. After Robin and Beast Boy were attacked by a killer mob of obsessed girls' after a mission, they decided that even though they could tell by their faces, it would be harder to catch them by their clothes. Cyborg was lucky. All he had to do was slip on his ring and go on with life.
Cyborg chuckled to himself, remembering Starfire and Raven's face as the mob chased the guys down the street. They stopped them alright, and just by giving a death glare to the mob. It sent the girls scattering, screaming, and crying. Then, the girls had smiled evilly, sending the few who were strong enough to stay, tripping over their own feet.
Raven walked in, graceful as ever. She had changed onto a tight black shirt with her favorite skull insignia splashed across her chest, her lose black pants draping over her black combat boots The fingerless black gloves were only for show, her excuse for wearing them being that it defined her personality. Her short hair was held back by a thick headband with the same design as her shirt, her thick bangs draping over her right eye. And she actually looked…good. Very punk, but good.
Robin was the next one in. A red and white baseball ball cap was twisted backwards over his spiked hair, thick dark sunglasses covering his eyes. His white American Eagle t-shirt was tight over his building muscles. His jeans were dark and loose on his hips. He had traded his steel-toed boots for white Shocks. He plopped down onto the couch, sitting next to the human Cyborg (courtesy of the ring) with his arms folded over his chest, looking every bit the brooding teenager.
Starfire, who was always after Robin in one way or another, floated in with a smile gracing her gloss-slicked mouth. She had tied her hair back with a white ribbon so it swung between her hips like a pendulum. She had a pink and white striped Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, which was tight against her skin, even going so far as to show a hint of cleavage from the low neckline. Her faded blue jeans were low on her hips, showing off a small portion of her flat, muscled stomach. She had simple white K-Swiss shoes on. Her bright green eyes were hidden behind pink-shaded glasses to help hide the alien appearance. She leaned her hip against the edge of the couch, right next to Robin. She then busied herself with adjusting stray spikes under Robin's cap.
They waited for Beast Boy and snickered, save for Raven and Starfire, when they heard a thump then a muffled curse. Beast Boy stumbled in, rubbing his head. "It is way too dark in that hallway. Can't even see where you're going." A long-sleeved hunter green shirt, camouflage pants, camouflage baseball cap, and combat boots were Beast Boy's street clothes. He grinned, adjusting his cap. "If I'm well concealed, then I'm safe."
Robin smirked. "Beast Boy, we're going to the store, not hunting. So, you really will stick out."
Beast Boy mulled over that, then gave a moaning groan, "Oh, man."
Raven's eyes flashed slightly, though her face was as composed as always. Starfire caught it and grinned. She might be as innocent as they come, but she was sharper and smarter than most humans when it came to budding romance.
They all stood up, heading for the T-car in the garage constructed beneath the tower. Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire squeezed into the backseat, Raven nestled between her two teammates. Robin slid into the passenger seat, glancing behind him at the scrunched Raven. Cyborg chuckled as Beast Boy adjusted in his seat, complaining that he was sure to get pelted by Raven for being so close to her. He was still trying to fix his position when Cyborg pulled out of the garage.
Raven tried not to notice that she was pressed up against Beast Boy, their bodies aligned from shoulder to ankle. Starfire leaned her elbow against the space beneath the window, smiling as if she knew something Raven didn't. Raven had pried her way into Beast Boy's mind, blushing slightly at the thoughts he was forming in brain at their close proximity despite the heavy denial he was chanting mentally. But, she didn't mind. Not at all, and that bothered her.
Starfire watched the scenery out the window, her lips curved slightly. She fingered the necklace around her neck, a gift from Robin. He had given it to her after her transformation. He called it a cross and said it was a sign of hope toward life.
Robin watched her in the review mirror, taking in her every feature that was visible in the mirror. She seemed so innocent and yet, he had seen her dark side, her feisty side. And it was always when she was protecting him. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have to the strength to get away from Slade when he made him his apprentice. He had thought of her the entire time and it had given him the strength to get away from that nightmare. When he had seen her cry for him, saw her in pain when Slade pressed the button that was supposed to destroy them from the inside out, he lost it. He couldn't bear to see her in agony.
Starfire felt someone watching her. She turned her head, meeting Robin's masked eyes in the mirror. She smiled, flashing white, cat-like teeth, and he had no choice but to smile back.
Without warning, Cyborg slammed on the brakes. The teens flew forward, then slammed back roughly, hitting the back of the seat hard enough to rattle bones. The car fishtailed, tires squealing against the paved road. Unconsciously, Beast Boy grabbed Raven's hands, his heart pounding.
Cyborg couldn't control the car. It was as if it were being controlled. He hit the breaks again, but the car wouldn't obey. If anything, the car seemed to pick up speed. "Robin, something's not right. I can't stop the car." He had to scream over the sound of screeching tires and the sharp sounds of the breaks rubbing against each other.
Before Robin could answer, the car ran into an old oak tree, smashing the front end of the T-car and sending the Titans flying forward against their seatbelts. Glass shattered, metal bended, and blood poured.