Title: I Don't Get It
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Seamus/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Seamus just doesn't get it and Dean just doesn't care.
Notes: This story is full dialog, no descriptives.
"I don't get it."
"What's to get?"
"The noises, Dean, the noises! I don't get it!"
"...Uhhhh..."
"Okay, in erotic gay fiction? There are always all this moaning and roaring when they come. But in gay porn, they barely make a noise!"
"Oh."
"I don't get it! Which is it? Load and groany. Or quiet and grunty? Why can't they just agree on it? It's like they don't realize people around the world are going to determine their future sex lives off this stuff."
"You really do think about this, don't you?"
"Well, yeah! Don't you?"
"I don't watch a lot of porn, Seamus. Come to think of it, I've never read gay erotica, either."
"You have got to be kidding me! You've never read gay erotica? Never watched porn?"
"This is my first time... What?! It's not that big of a deal!"
"You have missed out on so much, my friend. We must cure this immediately."
"You're not going to make me watch another porn video, are you? I know it's suppose to get people all excited, but I just don't know..."
"You're not a eunuch, are you?"
"Seamus, I'm going to ignore that comment."
"Fine, whatever. Still... Don't you wonder which one is right?"
"Are you still on about that?"
"Aren't you curious?"
"I suppose it would depend on the guy. Some guys are vocal, some aren't."
"I need proof of your theory."
"Okay, then. Go screw the whole of Gryffindor Tower, then you'll have your proof."
"Hey, mister, I am no slut!"
"Just a suggestion."
"But..."
"Oh, fine. If you really want to know how vocal guys are during sex then come on."
"Where are we going?"
"Don't be daft, Seamus. We are going to bed."
"But I'm not tired... Oh. Oh! Okay."
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Seamus/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Seamus just doesn't get it and Dean just doesn't care.
Notes: This story is full dialog, no descriptives.
"I don't get it."
"What's to get?"
"The noises, Dean, the noises! I don't get it!"
"...Uhhhh..."
"Okay, in erotic gay fiction? There are always all this moaning and roaring when they come. But in gay porn, they barely make a noise!"
"Oh."
"I don't get it! Which is it? Load and groany. Or quiet and grunty? Why can't they just agree on it? It's like they don't realize people around the world are going to determine their future sex lives off this stuff."
"You really do think about this, don't you?"
"Well, yeah! Don't you?"
"I don't watch a lot of porn, Seamus. Come to think of it, I've never read gay erotica, either."
"You have got to be kidding me! You've never read gay erotica? Never watched porn?"
"This is my first time... What?! It's not that big of a deal!"
"You have missed out on so much, my friend. We must cure this immediately."
"You're not going to make me watch another porn video, are you? I know it's suppose to get people all excited, but I just don't know..."
"You're not a eunuch, are you?"
"Seamus, I'm going to ignore that comment."
"Fine, whatever. Still... Don't you wonder which one is right?"
"Are you still on about that?"
"Aren't you curious?"
"I suppose it would depend on the guy. Some guys are vocal, some aren't."
"I need proof of your theory."
"Okay, then. Go screw the whole of Gryffindor Tower, then you'll have your proof."
"Hey, mister, I am no slut!"
"Just a suggestion."
"But..."
"Oh, fine. If you really want to know how vocal guys are during sex then come on."
"Where are we going?"
"Don't be daft, Seamus. We are going to bed."
"But I'm not tired... Oh. Oh! Okay."