AN: I had this in my head as a 'what if' on GH. I would never want this to happen but I felt I had to write it. It's very sad so if you're not in the mood for more sadness, don't read.

Could it be any Harder

Jason waited outside of the O.R room where the doctors were working on Sam and the baby. His chest felt tight with worry, he couldn't lose them, he couldn't. the day started out so wonderful. Sam was so happy, Jason remembered the bright smiles on her face as she talked about the future. He loved how bright her eyes got, how she included him in everything. It made him more happy then he could imagine when he thought of a future with Sam and the baby.

Pulling Jason out of his deep thoughts was the loud cry coming from the room, the baby. Steven Webber exited the room and walked right up to him.

Steven saw Jason's questioning eyes and got right to the point. "The baby's fine., we got her out just in time. She's being cleaning up then taken to the nursery where she'll be monitored just in case." he explained.

A large piece of relief covered Jason's heart. But he could read people, seeing them through their eyes, something was wrong. "What about Sam?" he slowly asked.

Steven let out a sigh because this was never easy. "She bleed a lot, she's very weak. Right now we're doing everything we can to get her blood pressure and vitals up. But right now it doesn't look good." he explained.

Jason couldn't say anything, he felt the hot tears prick his eyes. He was slight for a moment before he looked Steven in the eye. "I can't lose her. Do whatever you have to do but she can't die." his voice was full of anger and pain.

"We're doing our best." Steven said. It was a silent promise that that everything was being done and then some.

"The baby, can I see her?" Jason asked.

"Once she's taken up to the nursery I'll come back and let you go see her." Steven explained before he walked away.

Jason wasn't alone for long, Sonny and Carly walked right up to him. He saw the worry in Sonny's eyes, the questioning look of how bad it is. Jason just wanted to close his eyes and make it all go away. For it to just be one big nightmare. "The baby's ok." Jason said to the couple.

Sonny let out a sigh of relief as he placed his hand over his chest. "I talked to Webber a bit earlier, he filled me in on what happened. So everything's ok?" he asked.

Jason swallowed hard because he wanted so bad for everything to be ok. "The baby was out in time and Steven said she'll be fine. But S-s…Sam might die. She bleed out and now she's very weak and it doesn't look good." he explained. The hot tears became fire as he crossed his arms.

"Oh my god." Escaped Carly's mouth.

Sonny didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. He was so glad the baby was ok but sad because Sam didn't deserve to die. He just prayed she would be ok and make it through this. "Where's the baby now?" he softly asked Jason.

"They're taking her for some tests to make sure everything's ok then the nursery." Jason flatly explained. His mind was elsewhere, his mind was with Sam. He wondered if she was thinking and if she was, about what? He hoped she wasn't in pain that somewhere away from here she was in dreamland happy. That her thoughts would help her fight to stay alive.

"Jason---" Sonny softly said.

Jason finally looked at his friend.

"Are you okay?" Sonny asked as he looked into Jason's eyes, how tense he looked.

Jason nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." he said the words but he couldn't feel them. He felt so lost and hurt because this wasn't how it was suppose to be. Sam wasn't suppose to be dying. She was suppose to give birth and hold her baby with a smile that would light up the night sky.

Steven walked up to the threesome. "If you want you can visit the baby. Sam's stable right now and she could have visitors right now but just for awhile." he explained.

Jason walked away from everyone without a word. He needed to see the baby and make sure she was really okay. He knew Sonny was the father but he could see her next. He needed to make sure Lila was okay so he could tell Sam what a wonderful job she did carrying her inside of her body.

He reached the nursery and saw the baby, she was awake and kicking at her blanket. She looked just like Sam. He wondered if she would be just as feisty as Sam, watch out world, he thought.

A nurse walked up to him. "Would you like to hold her?"

Jason didn't have the strength to answer her, he just nodded and followed her inside. It was a private nursery since the doctors were watching her closely. The nurse quietly stepped out of the room once she placed the tiny baby girl in Jason's arms.

Jason smiled at the little girl and her big brown eyes. "Your mom can't wait to meet you. It's all she's been talking about for the last couple of weeks. She's scared of not being a good mother but she'll be perfect because she loves you so much. And you'll love her too, it's hard not to." he softly explained, he placed tiny Lila back in her crib. "I'll see you later and hopefully so will your mom." he touched the little girl's cheek and left the room.

"How is she?" Sonny asked as he stood outside the nursery. It was only right to let Jason go in first because until now Jason was the father, the only man the baby knew.

"She's perfect. I'm going to go sit with Sam, you stay with the baby." Jason said, he placed his hand on Sonny's shoulders, still seeing the worry, then walked away.

Sam's room was silent except the 'beep' that came every couple of seconds. She lay there so still, she looked peaceful in Jason's eyes. He went and sat beside her bedside and grabbed her weightless hand. "I hope you can hear me because I need you to hear me. Sam you can't die because there's too much to live for. I saw the baby, she's so perfect and she looks just like you. She wants to see her mother, you have to wake up and make it through this." his voice was shaky as well as his hands. Jason couldn't remember a time he felt so scared.

"I thought there was time, but today showed me that isn't true. I thought in time everything would grow and it would become easy to till you how happy you made my life, how you filled it with joy. If you die that light is gone. I need you to hold on, I need you to fight, I know it's so easy to just let go but you can't." he held on tight to her hand, as if he held on long enough she'd be ok.

You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
You were always invincible in my eyes
the only thing against us now is time

"Sam--" Jason swallowed the river of tears. "If you--don't make it through this. Everything we talked about, everything you wanted for her, she will get. I'll always be there for your daughter. You wanted to give her everything you never had and more, she'll get it. But she could have the world but it won't mean anything if she didn't have her mother to love her everyday, to be there." he brought her hand to his lips and placed a light kiss across her fingers.

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day

I lie down and blind myself with laughter
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing
And now I wish that I could turn back the hours
But i know I just don't have the power

A beeping sound of a flat line ringed in his ears. "NO!." he yelled. "You can't leave me!" he yelled once more before he ran out the room and screamed at the doctor to help Sam live. He paced the outside of the room, waiting.

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day

Time seemed to be going so slow, every second felt like an hour. He prayed over and over for her to be okay. But there was this heavy weight on his chest that told him something was wrong and it couldn't be fixed. But Jason didn't want to think about that, to face what was in front of him. A time of memories flashed in his mind. When he found out Sam was pregnant, when she talked about the times she looked forward to. When he finally realized he loved her. The tears couldn't be fought now as the ran down his cheeks.

I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if its your last, I know its your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone

Steven walked out of the room and faced him. Jason knew what he was going to say. "No. please no." he softly cried.

"I'm sorry Jason. We tried everything we could but the damage was beyond our repair. Sam didn't make it." Steven explained with a deep regret.

"No!" Jason yelled, a piercing yell that could be heard all over the hospital. "No, you try again! You save her damn it!" tears flooded his face as she yelled at the doctor.

The emotional Jason let out was enough to make Steven want to cry. "I'm sorry Jason but there's nothing we can do." he hated to say.

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day

Jason paced the floor, crying and running his hand through his hair with anger.

"Do you want to say goodbye?" Steven asked. "You can sit with her for a little bit." he hoped that would help but he knew it wouldn't.

Jason went in and saw her, his sobs becoming deeper. He walked over to the bed and fell in the chair and across Sam. "I love you and you never knew, there was so much left for us to do and now it's all gone." he hugged her body.

Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever, baby
and I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands
It couldn't be any harder

Jason held on tight to Sam's body, wishing it wasn't true. "Please, please come back to me. Come back!" but it didn't happen, he lost her forever.

Isabelle A.

Song:The calling- could it be any harder.