Disclaimer:
I don't own Naruto. And probably never will!
Title: I think I better leave right
now – alternative chapter 20
Author:
Purrfectly679 - e-mail
for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.
Rating: R, angst, bad language,
slight AU. SakuSasu, hint of SasuNaru.
Notes: Here you go guys. For everyone
who wanted a happy ending… I'm not good with fluff… so I really hope that
I don't disappoint you… .
Just want to say thanks to everyone who's ever reviewed!! And for the fanart submissions… They're absolutely brilliant! Thanks especially to Kiki and Jeannie! I love you guys!
Previously: Sasuke takes 5 shots in the chest to protect Naruto. He then falls into unconsciousness.
---------------------
"This is all your fault Naruto!"
So much screaming… Why was there so much screaming?
"I hate you! I hate you I hate you! How dare you? Sasuke's hurt because of you!! It's all because of you!"
I know Sakura… I know it's my fault… I'm a demon remember? And demons bring nothing but bad luck…
"I hate you! Why won't you even say anything you fucking bastard?! If it wasn't for you, Sasuke and I would be happily married by now! But he's in hospital – because of you! This is all your fault!"
My head hurts… And I feel tired… I'm sorry Sakura… I never meant to hurt you… I never meant to hurt any of you…
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you demon? Can't even answer back because you know I'm right! You know this is your fault! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! You've ruined everything! You've ruined my entire life!"
I'm… sorry…
"And… And if Sasuke dies… It will be your fucking fault! If you hadn't run off to whether the fuck you were… If you hadn't… I swear, if he dies… I'll kill you Naruto! If he dies, I swear on my life I will fucking end your life with my bare hands…!!"
Please stop crying Sakura… I… I wish… I wish none of this had happened…Maybe I…
I don't deserve to live…
"Stop looking at me with your blank eyes! I hate you! I hate you so much! Do you even fucking care? You're not even listening to me, are you? Why won't you even answer me?"
I wonder if you even realise that you're screaming? You're screaming Sakura… And it's really loud –
SLAP
"You deserved that! You deserved that! I hate you! I hate you so much…"
…Come back Sakura… I'm… I'm so… sorry… Don't leave…
Don't leave me like everyone else has…
-------------------------------
"I'm so sorry Sasuke… I'm so… sorry! Please be ok! I can't… I can't live with myself if anything happens to you… Please wake up! Please… Sasuke… I'm begging you…! Please…! Don't die…"
"Please don't die!"
------------------------------
"Sasuke… You promised me! You promised that you weren't going to leave me!! Remember? Do you remember…?"
"So why aren't you pulling through? Fight it Sasuke…! Please… I can't… I can't live without you… Don't you understand? If you die, I swear I'll be following you… I don't care – I don't care what I promised – I don't care about my dreams, about being Hokage… Cos if you break your promise then I'll break mine… And I'll follow you to death if need be…"
"Please Sasuke… Everyone needs you… I… I need you… Please… I… Please don't give up…"
"Please pull through…."
------------------------------
"Sasuke… I… The doctors said that you might not make it through the night… You're leaving me aren't you?"
"I… I trusted you Sasuke! You promised me that you weren't going to leave me… And now… And now you're going to leave me like everyone else…"
"No!! … I… You will pull through! You hear me Sasuke? You're going to live! Fuck you Sasuke! Why won't you get the fuck up?! Please – I'm begging you here…! Just… Pull through…!"
"I know you can do it! You're the great Uchiha right? You can fucking overcome anything damn you…! Please…Sasuke… I…"
"I need you…"
----------------------------
"Hey Sasuke… It's me again… I… The doctors said it was a miracle that you made it… But you're… You're stuck in a coma at the moment… The doctors told me that you could hear me… And that talking to you might wake you up faster…"
"Hehe… I know… Me talking could probably wake up the dead right? Anyone would get up just to shut me up…!"
"Anyway… I'm glad you've pulled through… Means you'll be getting u soon right? You're looking kinda pale… But uhm… I guess you've always been pale, ne…? Hehe… Uhmm…"
"I'm sorry I'm not the best of company at the moment… But… Sakura's gone home for the time being… She's really upset, not that I can blame her… And Kakashi-sensei is trying to work out who the hell that dark-haired woman was… So he's in a meeting at the moment… So unfortunately, you're stuck with me…"
"…"
"I really am sorry you know… I… I never meant for things to go this way… I…"
"…"
"Sorry… Just choked there a bit… You know how hospitals are… So starchy… Ugh my nose itches… And by the way, the hospital gown suits you… Definitely two thumbs up!"
"Uh… Anyway… I… I guess… I guess I'll let you rest then…"
"Sleep well Sasuke…"
------------------------------
"Hey Sasuke! It's me… again… I… I'm sorry – I've probably disappointed you, eh? I know Sakura hasn't visited in a long time, but… It's not her fault… She's just busy I guess… You must be getting sick of me though, eh? I… I'm sorry…"
"I… I hope you're not still angry at me… I… I just wanted to say…"
"…"
"Ah never mind… It was stupid anyway…"
"Hey remember that time when we went fishing together? And you pushed me into the river?? I got really wet you know… But I guess you did me a favour, because I finally caught a fish that way!! Hmm… that fish was kinda small though… compared to yours…"
"You know… I used to think that you cheated – I dunno – had some special kind of bait or used some chakra skill or something… Yeh I know it sounds stupid, but… It just wasn't normal!! How could you catch so much fish in one go? I think even Kakashi-sensei was surprised…"
"Hmm I better shut up now… You probably want your rest…"
---------------------------
"Hey Sasuke… Remember that time we found Kakashi-sensei's perverted books? They were really gross weren't they? I don't know about you, but I had nightmares for over a week…! I remember your face after you read the paragraph about that dildo man – you know – the guy that attacked all his colleagues with a massive dildo? Hehe… I know you tried to keep your expression blank but I know I saw a flicker of shock flash across your face! Hehe… That was actually quite funny…"
--------------------------
"Sasuke… Explain to me why you're still here… Please! I don't… I don't want to be irritating or anything… But… Don't you want to wake up or something?! Why aren't you pulling through, huh? I know you Sasuke! I know you're stronger than this!! So why the fuck aren't you fighting it? Why are you just… just giving up?"
"The doctors are on the verge of giving up hope – they said that you should've woken up about 2 months ago… But I know you can get better, right? I know you can! I know you Sasuke – you won't leave us… You won't leave ME… So WHY won't you get up? Just why won't you fucking wake up?"
--------------------------
"I'm probably the last person you want to listen to right now… Probably really sick of me, right? But there's a lot I need to get off my chest… And so much I need to tell you…! God Sasuke…! So I figured that it was either now or never…"
"Please… Sasuke… I… I'm not good at begging… But… I swear – I… I can't go on without you… Do you understand? If you don't get up, my life is over… I'm sorry for sounding so cliché… But… I…"
"Do you even understand?"
"The truth is… I… Every time you look at me, I feel my heart stop… Why is that? Can you answer that for me? Why is it that every time I look into your eyes, I can't seem to breathe? And then everything seems to speed up and slow down at the same time… And everything feels so wrong, yet so right…"
"And why is it, that no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about you? You invade my mind… my soul… I close my eyes, and all I see is you… You and your dark intense eyes…"
"I get so scared Sasuke… Why do you make me feel this way? Is it even normal? Is it normal for you to have so much power over me? Because you do… I would die for you, you know… I would die for you a thousand times over, just to see a single smile upon your lips…"
"I wish… I wish you wouldn't have taken those shots for me… I… I know it's my fault – everything's always been my fault… But… You don't deserve to be lying here… It should be me…"
"Sometimes… Sometimes I just want to end it all, you know? But every time I get to the point of no return, something holds me back… And… It's you… Even though you're not even aware of it, you've saved me again and again… It just seems ungrateful… I mean - if I were to end it all – it would just be an insult to your sacrifice, wouldn't it?"
"Do you understand now, Sasuke? Do you understand why I've been lying to you? Why I've been hiding my love for you? Cos this isn't normal… This can't be healthy – this obsession… Because that's what it is, isn't it? I'm obsessed with you, and that can't lead to anything good…"
"But I promise you know, Sasuke… If you get up now – if you promise to pull through – I will dedicated my life to loving you. I don't care if I don't deserve you – I don't care if it all seems too good to be true… You lo-love me, ri-right? So… So nothing else should matter…"
"Fuck the consequences – nothing matters anymore… As long as I'm with you, everything will be fine, ne? I'm sorry if it sounds like blackmail, but Sasuke… I can't… I can't live without you…"
"And even though I've never said this before, I truly mean it with all my heart… I love you Sasuke… I'll always love you. And I'll continue to love you to the end of time…"
"So wake up, yeh? Wake up so we can start the rest of our lives together… Ok?"
--------------------------------
Almost immediately after Naruto's speech, a hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his, shocking him into oblivion. The blonde stood rooted to the spot, his eyes wide open in fear and disbelief.
Sasuke…? Was Sasuke waking up?!
"Doctor!" Naruto yelled hysterically, his mind drowning within a semi-state of panic. What the hell was he supposed to do now?! Sasuke had moved – after 10 whole months – the raven-haired boy finally showed some signs of movement! Did that mean he was waking up? Did that mean he was going to be ok?
"Doctor! Where the hell are you?" the blonde shouted furiously, as the pale hand held within his began to lose strength and grip. What was going on now? Was Sasuke falling back into unconsciousness?
No…!
Almost instantly, a team of nurses and doctors rushed in and effectively surrounded the prone body. Naruto watched the busy commotion with a dazed look upon his features, as efficient checks were made of the Uchiha's vital signs… Too fast… Everything was rushing by too fast…
Erratic thoughts rushed through his head as blood pounded loudly, reverberating steadily within his ears… Was Sasuke going to be ok? Was he waking up?
Was he finally waking up?
"Naruto-kun?"
Shocked blue eyes met warm brown.
"Naruto-kun, he's regaining consciousness…" the kind-looking nurse murmured softly, as the screaming confusion finally died down.
The blonde swallowed heavily before inching closer towards the dark-haired boy. Sasuke… Sasuke was really waking up? After all this time… After 10 long months… He was finally going to be ok?
Suddenly, black eyes flickered unsteadily, as if the glare of the light in the room was much too bright. Naruto held his breath as a stab of fear crawled up his spine. What was he supposed to do now? What was Sasuke going to say? Was he going to say anything?
And why the hell was his heart racing so fast?
"Sasuke…" the blonde whispered in disbelief, as apprehension gripped his soul. He couldn't believe it - it was really happening!! He felt the raven-haired boy's grip tighten upon his hand, as black eyes blinked wearily to clear his vision.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the haunting eyes finally opened, before immediately focussing upon a pair of frightened blue orbs.
Naruto held his breath, as the dry lips slowly parted as if to speak.
"Who…" Sasuke wet his lips gently, before continuing. His voice was dry, hoarse and unsteady from disuse. "Who…"
"Who are you?"
Naruto felt the warm hand slip out of his, before his world came crashing to an abrupt halt.
------------------------------
Naruto sat waiting edgily for the doctor, as the unexpected events of the past hour rushed wearily through his head. He still couldn't believe it… After everything… After everything they had went through… After those 5 long years apart, after Itachi… After declaring his love… And now…
And now Sasuke didn't even remember him…
He sighed wearily before burying his face within his hands. It had hurt… It had really hurt… To see those eyes – those eyes that used to be full of intense passion – to stare straight at him with something akin to blank puzzlement… To look at him as if he were a stranger…
To look at him without love…
The truth was painful… Sasuke really didn't remember him… Didn't remember anything - what they had shared, what they had promised…
What they could've been…
In a way, Naruto mused, it was probably for the best… Maybe it was just another cruel trick played by the gods of fate… Or maybe it was a test – a test of their love – and it was now obvious that they had just irrevocably failed… It was a sign that they were never meant to be – and that maybe their love just wasn't strong enough… After all, if Sasuke didn't remember him, then it would probably be easier for him to let go…
Then maybe the dark-haired boy could live the life that he deserved… The life that the blonde could never give him…
It was all for the best really… Everything would work out for the better… For Sasuke… For Sakura… For everyone…
But if that was true – then why did his heart suddenly feel shattered beyond repair?
"Uzumaki-san?"
Naruto looked up as the doctor walked into his view. He immediately jumped out of his seat, his hands clenched tightly together in unconcealed anxiety.
"Sasuke! Is he going to be ok?"
The doctor smiled softly at the obvious concern that the blonde showed for his team-mate. It was nice to be loved… "Physically, he's making a remarkable recovery – he should be able to go home tomorrow… But mentally – he seems to be suffering from a slight bout of amnesia…"
"Slight? What do you mean by slight?" evident fear flickered across the blonde's features.
"He seems to recall some memories of his past… But others – like you – seem to be missing from his memory…"
Naruto felt his chest constrict almost painfully as the words sank into his mind. "Why me?" he whispered, the uncertainty apparent within his voice. And was there anyone else? What else did he forget…? Or was it…
Or was it just him?
"We think that it may have been caused by self erected mind blocks – kinda like a security shield… We don't really know the reasons, but…" the doctor seemed hesitant, almost reluctant to continue with his sentence. "But maybe… Maybe he has some painful memories concerning you? That would explain everything – it's almost like the body's self-defence against mental anguish…"
The blonde crumpled to the floor, as the painful words echo relentlessly within his mind. 'Maybe he has some painful memories concerning you…' Was that why Sasuke didn't remember him? Because he had hurt him…? Because the Itachi ordeal was his fault? And now, the raven-haired boy probably hated him… Hated him like everyone else hated him…
He hated him too much to remember…
Naruto felt indescribable pain well up in his chest. So it came true… But he knew it all along anyway, so why the hell did it still hurt so much? He knew that he would end up hurting the Uchiha… He knew it! He should have stayed away…! He should've listened to his head…! If only he had stayed away… If only…
And now Sasuke hated him… The only person that he had ever loved now hated him – hated him too much to even remember him…
"Will he… Will he ever remember me?" the blonde whispered hollowly, even as all his remaining hope drained out of him. Maybe he didn't deserve to be remembered… After all, this is what he deserved – a life without love, a life without hope… He deserved to suffer for his actions, for his crimes… He deserved to suffer for what he did to Sasuke…
The doctor hesitated, as if the next few words were extremely difficult for him to say. "We do not know when he'll regain his memories… Or whether he ever will…"
Naruto watched with a heavy heart as his world once again became blurry with tears. He should be glad right? This way, he wouldn't have to be afraid of Sasuke looking at him hatred within his eyes… This way he could let him go, and still be his friend… Sasuke could marry Sakura, and fulfil his duty of reviving his clan… This way, no one had to know about anything – about them, about their forbidden affair… He could keep their secret to himself – no one would be any wiser… No one would ever need to know…
No one would ever need to know that he loved Sasuke… That he loved him with all his heart and soul…
But if it was that easy, then why did his heart hurt so much?
Why did it still hurt so much?
---------------------------------
Sasuke frowned in confusion as he stood and waited for Sakura to sign him out from the hospital. He rubbed his limbs wearily as his mind spun furiously at the whole implausibility of the situation – it was just so damn strange that he himself almost couldn't believe it…! He had been in hospital for 10 months… That's almost a whole year! 10 whole months spent in a coma, doing absolutely nothing… Just laying there – no moving, no training, no anything…
What a waste of precious time…
He sighed – he should be grateful really - at least he didn't have to go through extensive physiotherapy… He didn't think that he'd be able to stay sane if he had to remain in the hospital for even one day longer…
It had been a day since he had awoken from his prolonged sleep – and those 24 hours had seemed the longest and yet the shortest of his entire life… It was strange – when he had first opened his eyes, the first thing he happened to look at was the boy with the blue eyes… And yet no matter how hard he searched his mind, he just couldn't remember him… It frustrated him no end – especially after seeing the apparent hurt upon the blonde's features…
For some reason, he felt as if he never wanted to see him hurt ever again…
That boy… He said his name was Naruto… Sasuke searched his memory again but came up with nothing but a blank void. He sighed in irritation… Just why couldn't he remember anything about him? He could recall everything else – there was Kakashi, Sakura… Shikamaru, Ino, Hinata… He even remembered the battle with Itachi, even though he was at a loss to what exactly happened to him after he had passed out…
But Naruto…? He was his team-mate, right? They should've been through a lot together…
But if that was true, then why the hell couldn't he even remember him?
The Uchiha rubbed his eyes wearily. The doctors had reassured him that he would be ok, as long as he didn't try to force his memories… It was possible that he could suffer further relapses, which he certainly did not want to risk… The thought of being remitted to the hospital only made him even more frustrated! He was angry at himself – angry for staying in a coma for so damn long – angry for his stupid lapse in memory – angry for being so damn weak…
And angry for hurting the boy with the bright eyes.
Sasuke stared at the floor dejectedly. He didn't even know why his heart felt so heavy… He should be glad! He was finally awake – ready to face the world again… But then why did he feel as if he was still missing something? Missing something really… important??
Then again, maybe it was only his mind playing tricks on him… After all, that was normal right? He had been asleep for 10 months after all – it was natural to feel a little paranoid…
Sasuke smiled softly as he recalled the conversation that he had shared with the hyperactive klutz a few hours after he had awoken. Actually – it was more of a one way conversation, but the Uchiha didn't mind. It was actually kinda amusing to watch really - that boy had so much incessant energy!! It seemed never-ending! And he just talked on, and on, and on…!
In the 3 hours that swiftly followed, Naruto had explained everything to him… Well, almost everything… Initially, he had been a bit shocked that Itachi had finally died… After all, he had spent the last 15 years of his life pursuing his brother for revenge… And waking up to find his task suddenly accomplished was much more than just a little strange. He didn't know how to feel – whether relieved, angry… Sad or disappointed…
Meaningless. Purposeless…
But when he asked Naruto what had specifically happened, the blonde quickly looked away and mumbled hastily 'You did most of the damage, but Kakashi had finished him off…' It didn't seem to add up properly within his mind – after all, he couldn't actually recall touching his brother during their final confrontation, let alone putting up a decent fight…
Then there was the whole Sakura issue… Naruto explained that situation rather cheerfully - how they were on the verge of getting married before the Itachi incident, and how they were both desperately in love… To tell the truth, he could just about recall agreeing to the engagement, but in all honesty, he couldn't remember ever feeling that deeply for the pink-haired girl… But it wasn't as if the blonde wouldn't lie to him… He frowned – maybe this lack of feeling was another side effect of being in a coma?
And yet, if it was true love… Then why wasn't she there when he woke up?
The last 30 minutes were spent on talking about Naruto himself, which Sasuke had secretly thought was the most interesting part of the night… The blonde explained to him how they had been team-mates, and how they had been pretty good friends… He chatted non-stop, almost aimlessly, with a wide grin plastered upon his face… But the Uchiha wasn't fooled - underneath it all, he could see that the smaller boy was hurt… He could see the concealed ache, the suppressed hurt… He could see it in his eyes – see the pain within those indescribable blue eyes that seemed to capture his soul…
The dark-haired boy sighed. But that was only to be expected really… If anyone had just forgotten him like that… Especially if it was a close friend… He was sure that he'd be hurt as well…
"Naruto-kun?"
Sasuke looked up in curiosity as a female voice rang out loud and clear. A split second later, a kind-looking nurse with short brown hair and warm brown eyes came into view.
"Oh, sorry Sasuke-kun… I thought Naruto was… Hmm…" the nurse trailed off, as she searched the room hurriedly with her eyes. "Do you know where he is by any chance?"
Sasuke blinked a few time, before a cautious expression settled upon his features. "I don't know where he is… I haven't seen him since yesterday…"
The nurse looked confused. "Are you sure Sasuke-kun? I mean – isn't he taking you home?"
The Uchiha chose his words carefully. "Why would he be?"
"Well – seeing as he hasn't left your side since you arrived here 10 months ago, I was assuming that he'd take you home as well!" the nurse chuckled in amusement.
The dark-haired boy immediately froze. "10 months?" he whispered, his eyes widening in disbelief.
"Well… He refused all long term missions and only accepted basic assignments… Poor kid - I doubt that did his Hokage dream any good… So he managed to turn up everyday at 3pm latest, and 9am on non-mission days… And he always left in the early hours of the morning… I really don't know how he did it… He actually fell asleep here a few times too… Though I have to say, that chair doesn't look too comfortable…"
Sasuke's mind reeled from the information overload. Naruto? Here? Everyday for 10 months? But… Why?
Why would Naruto do that?
--------------------------
Two hours later, Sasuke found himself back inside the Uchiha house, although just as confused as before. 10 months… So much has changed… And then… Nothing seems to have changed at all…
He shook his head woefully. What a time to get sentimental…
"You ok, Sasuke-kun?"
The dark-haired boy was jarred out of his thoughts by a soft, almost hesitant voice. He looked into the caring green eyes of his fiancée, and was a little disturbed that he felt absolutely nothing towards her… Weren't the eyes meant to be the windows to the soul?
Then why was it that he couldn't see himself within those bright depths of green?
"Hai… I'm… I'm… just fine…" he murmured, a little distractedly. Even though he hadn't said anything about it, he had noticed their expressions… He had noticed how all the nurses within the hospital were shocked by his sudden departure without the blonde… And the enquiring way that they had looked at the pink-haired girl… It was as if… As if they had never seen her before…
But they were supposed to be in love right? Even Naruto had said so… But if that was true, then why hadn't she visited him?
Did she ever visit him?
"Uhm… Sasuke-kun…" Sakura murmured softly. "I… I know you must be overwhelmed with everything… And… I really don't want to trouble you anymore… But… Are we… I mean…" she trailed off as an unnatural flush lit up her face. "Are we… Are we still getting married?"
The Uchiha froze as he stared into warm green eyes that seemed to glow with hope. Were they still getting married? Well… Nothing had changed, right? So technically, he should ready to pledge his devotion towards the pink-haired girl… And judging by Naruto's statements that he had been totally enamoured with his fiancée, he should be more than enthusiastic about getting hitched, right?
Then why did it feel so wrong?
"I…" he started, then paused, unsure of what to say…
"It's ok Sasuke-kun…" Sakura interrupted, even as the hope in her eyes dimmed away. "We still have lots of time…"
The raven-haired boy nodded in agreement. They had all the time in the world…
---------------------------
When Sasuke woke up early the next morning, he found 2 pale and slender arms wrapped tightly around his torso. He immediately tumbled out of bed in shock, only to meet a pair of sleep-ridden green eyes.
"Sasuke-kun?" she mumbled, in weary confusion. "What are you doing?"
"I…" the dark-haired boy took a deep breath as he forced his heart rate to slow down. What was he doing anyway? Why was he acting so surprised? It was only Sakura… It was only her arms wrapped around him… And they were going to get married soon… So it was ok… It was normal, wasn't it?
Then why did it feel as if he had just committed the ultimate betrayal?
"Come back to bed silly…" the pink-haired girl murmured.
Sasuke swallowed heavily, before getting unsteadily onto his feet. "I'm not tired," he lied, even as his muscles protested against the sudden movements.
"But…" Sakura squinted as he gazed at the bedside clock. "It's only 6am…"
"I'm going out for a walk…" was all the dark-haired boy murmured, before he grabbed some clothes and left the room.
The pink-haired girl sighed. She knew that his sudden devotion was too good to last…
------------------------
Sasuke walked through Konoha village with quick and steady strides. The shops and stalls were just setting up, and the few people that were around gave him shocked and incredulous stares.
"Is that… Is that Uchiha Sasuke?"
"I thought he was dead…"
"Shh… Not so loud!!"
"Well he certainly doesn't look dead…"
"I heard he's suffering from amnesia…"
But the Uchiha ignored them all.
He walked on briskly, oblivious to everything around him but for the growing dread that was accumulating within his stomach. He felt sick – waking up to those arms around him, waking up to that too flowery scent of the pink-haired girl…
But why? Why did he feel that way? She was going to be his wife, damn it! He wasn't meant to feel weird around her, let alone nauseous!
God, just what had the coma done to him?
He walked on as conflicting thoughts surged through his mind, ignoring his surroundings as they rushed by, not even realising as he stepped into the dense forest upon the village outskirts.
And why the hell was he feeling so guilty for? It almost felt as if he had cheated on someone… Which was totally absurd!
The dark-haired boy chuckled humourlessly. It wasn't even as if he had slept with her… They had merely fallen asleep in the same bed… She had understood – he was too tired, too confused to do anything… And yet it still felt so wrong… Why did it feel so wrong? Wasn't he meant to love Sakura?
So why did waking up next to her spark up such strong feelings of guilt?
And then there was his dream… He had dreamt about that boy, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't erase those haunting blue eyes from his mind… The dream didn't even make sense - they were simply walking – just innocently walking side by side - and yet the Uchiha felt this frightening sense of calm fulfilment… As if nothing mattered anymore, and that everything would be alright…
As if he had finally come home.
Sasuke sighed in frustration. Everything was just so confusing… Nothing made sense anymore… Nothing –
The dark-haired boy found himself stumbling unsteadily into a wide clearing. Black eyes widened in disbelief as they took in the sight of an enchanting lake in front of him. And sitting on a rock facing the expanse of glittering water was the main source of his confusion…
It was the blonde from within his dreams…
---------------------------
Naruto had been sitting quietly by the lake ever since nightfall. He didn't know why he was there – but as soon his troubled thoughts invaded his mind, his feet had automatically carried him towards the water's edge… He smiled softly – at least the unintentional prolonged visit hadn't been a total waste… He had finally seen his first ever sunrise over the lake… And it had been truly breathtaking… And earth-shatteringly beautiful…
Blue eyes snapped alert as soon as quiet rustling was heard from behind him. Naruto immediately turned towards the source of the sound, only to come face to face with the boy that had permanently occupied his thoughts and dreams…
Sasuke… What was Sasuke doing here? And at such early hours of the morning?
Naruto couldn't help but stare – he couldn't help but freeze and stare into those black depths that seemed to swirl with confusion… It was almost like a dream – another wild hallucination… That Sasuke… That he…
"I… Naruto isn't it?"
The blonde tensed. To hear that voice say his name again… If only... If only his dark eyes weren't so blank… If only they weren't so dull… Then maybe…
Maybe he could've pretended that nothing had changed…
"Aa…" Naruto murmured, suddenly feeling extremely insecure. It was their first ever meeting out of the hospital – their first ever informal encounter alone… And he couldn't help but feel extremely apprehensive about the whole situation… To have him so close…
And yet so far…
Sasuke seemed to hesitate on the spot for a moment, before finally making up his mind and walking towards the blonde. Naruto felt his stomach shift uncomfortably… What was the Uchiha trying to do? Why the hell was he out here anyway, especially at this time of the morning? Wasn't he supposed to be at home?
With Sakura?
"What are you doing here?" the blonde immediately blurted out, his tone harsher and colder than he had intended. He couldn't… He just couldn't do this… Not now… It was too much of a risk… It was a risk to get too close… Letting go once was painful enough…
He wasn't sure if could let go all over again…
"I couldn't sleep."
Naruto almost jumped out of his skin as he felt the raven-haired boy brush against him. The scent of the Uchiha instantly overwhelmed his senses, choking him, suffocating him… Reminding him of what he had lost… Reminding him of what he could never have…
He felt his heart break all over again…
"I… I got to go…" The blonde immediately jumped off the rock, even as he tried to smother the pain that was threatening to engulf him from within. He couldn't… he just couldn't stay… Not like this… Not with him so close… It just hurt too much…
God, why did it hurt so much?
"No, wait…"
Naruto suddenly felt an electric spark shoot up his wrist, before he was gently tugged away from his hasty departure. He glanced at the image of his hand, held softly within the Uchiha's grasps… A deep sense of déjà vu overcame him…
'It was like that time… At the hospital… When he woke up holding my hand…'
Naruto shook his head to remove the unwanted thoughts, even as his eyes started to sting and well up with tears. It was hard to believe that the scene at the hospital happened only 2 days ago… A mere 48 hours ago… So much has happened since then…
So much had been lost since then…
"Stay…" the word was whispered, pleading…
The blonde reluctantly gazed into warm dark eyes, only to feel his throat constrict at the sight. Those eyes… Those intense eyes that used to look at him with so much love and passion… Now there was only blank confusion… And uncertainty.
And that had hurt the most…
Naruto roughly yanked himself out of the Uchiha's firm yet gentle grasp. "I have to go…" he murmured, his voice trembling, even as he forced himself to turn away from those eyes… The eyes that invaded every single moment of his life…
"No, wait…" the voice was on the verge of desperation.
The blonde managed a small smile, before turning away with an air of finality. "Go home, Sasuke…"
"Go home to where you belong…"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End part 1
Ok guys, before you guys all go flame me, let me get a few things straight ;;… Personally, I didn't think this was very well written… But gah... It needed to be done, right? I actually much prefer the first ending, so if anyone finds this alternative ending lame, then please just ignore it!! (although you might wana read part 2… Part 2 gets better, I promise!)
There will be one more post to this story… I hope to get it up soon. And trust me, it'll be very happy, lovey and dovey!! (yeh I know this one kinda lacked in the fluff department but bleh)
I hope I didn't disappoint u guys too much… .
Ja.