Note: I wrote this waaaay back before Outlaw Star got really popular. Just...forgot to post it. Heh heh...
This is pretty much the accompanying piece to Androids Drink Free, if anyone remembers it. Anyway, you can find that under Sake & Dojo Bar Section at Subreality.com.

Summary: Android 18 joins Nate and his Muses for a trip to a fictive store.

Androids Bargain Best
by XMAN0123
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Android 18 was waiting for her Writer. There was just one problem: she had no idea what he looked like. It'd been so long since he'd first attempted to use her in a story, she'd barely remembered that his name was Nate. He swore that she was one of his favorite DBZ characters, but that he didn't want to use her in a story until he could do her personality justice. 18 assumed that meant she was too good for him, or something close to it. At any rate, he'd promised her a whole series this time, and in return, she would pay for dinner.

So she chose one of her usual hangouts: the Subreality Dojo & Sake Bar. The Sake Bar part, specifically. 18 had reserved a booth, as it gave them a little privacy. She didn't want any of Nate's Cell fictives to 'accidentally' eavesdrop and demand to be put in her series. They were overused as it was.

A few minutes later, an unusual sight greeted 18's eyes. A Marvel fictive had just walked into the bar, and the difference in how he was designed was really obvious. No large, expressive eyes, no wild hair, and the fact that he could easily pass for human. His hair was actually brown, for another thing, instead of pink, blue, or green.

It suddenly occurred to 18 that this was her Writer. He bore a striking resemblance to Nate Grey, a fictive she'd once run into. But then, he was probably just a big fan of X-Man. Maybe that was why he'd Written his Subreality self in Nate's image. Or maybe he was just too ashamed to reveal what he really looked like. Maybe both, actually.

18 waved to him, and he finally spotted her. It must've been difficult to find her, as she wasn't the only female DBZ android present that night. But as he came closer, 18 frowned. There were two small girls following him closely. One of them had an anime appearance about her, but the other definitely didn't.

The Writer stopped beside the booth. "Sorry I'm late," he apologized, "but we ran into some trouble outside."

The girl with blond hair frowned. "I'm telling you, that guy deserved it!"

"Yugi, he only asked for an autograph," the girl with black hair pointed out.

"But he thought I was Chibi Chibi Moon! I've never been so insulted!"

18 smiled uneasily at her Writer as he sat down beside her. "You have...children?"

"You think they're my kids?" Nate asked, sounding amused. "No, they're my Muses. This is D," he said, pointing to the one with black hair. "The other one's Yugi, who you might already know."

"We've met once or twice, a while back," Yugi said as she and D piled into the other side of the booth.

Instantly, a girl on roller blades skated up to the booth. She pulled out a pad and pencil. "Welcome to the Subreality Sake Bar! Are you ready to order your drinks?"

Nate peered at the girl closely. "Sakura-chan, is that you?"

The girl beamed. "Ohaiyo, Nate-sama! What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. Shouldn't you be out capturing Clow Cards?"

Sakura shrugged. "Well, I needed a part-time job. It's my first week!"

"Think you can get us a discount?" Yugi asked hopefully.

Sakura frowned. "Sorry, Yugi-san. I haven't worked here long enough for that yet." Her face brightened. "But I know what's good and what isn't!"

"How about the Monster Margarita?"

Sakura's eyes widened. "That's got alcohol in it!"

Yugi nodded. "I know. Is it any good?"

"I don't know. I'm not 21. But I do know it's very big."

"Great! I'll take one."

Nate narrowed his eyes. "Yugi, you are not drinking one of those on your own."

"Yeah, Nate's right!" D agreed. "I'll split it with you!"

Nate sighed. "That's not what I meant."

18 grinned. "They may not be your children, but you look like a parent to me."

Sakura scribbled on her pad. "Okay, one Monster Margarita with two straws."

"I'll just have water," Nate said.

"Me, too," 18 added.

Sakura nodded and skated away.

* * * * *

Nate looked down at his notes, which were spread all over the table. "Okay, the last thing we need to discuss is the series I promised you."

18 sipped her water. "What about it?"

"After I posted 'Androids Drink Free,' I got a request for a DBZ/Outlaw Star crossover. I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone." Nate's gaze shifted to her. "Will that be a problem?"

18 shrugged. "What would I have to do?"

"Well, it's still sketchy, but you'd definitely meet up with Melfina again."

"Not a problem. What else?"

Nate checked his notes again. "That's it, so far."

"So we're done here?"

"Not quite. There's one more thing you can help me with." Nate gathered his notes back up and jammed them into his jacket. "Since Outlaw Star is going to be a major force in the anime fics, I wanted to pick up a few fictives before they got really expensive. I've got some stories in mind already."

"You need me for that?"

The Writer grinned. "Yugi told me about this warehouse she found. It just opened up in Subreality, and they've got canon fictives for practically nothing. I'm hoping to clean them out before the newbies realize how cool the show is."

"No offense, Nate, but can't you just make your own?"

"Sure, but I want untouched fictives that are true to the story. If I just Wrote them, they'd be...imperfect."

18 finished her water. "Suit yourself. Why am I coming along again?"

"Yugi says the guy that runs the place can't resist pretty ladies. Naturally, I thought of you first."

"How sweet," she replied, rolling her eyes. "You're a terrible liar. I can smell perfume all over you."

Nate chuckled uneasily. "No, it's just that we stopped by the Dreaming to pick up D, and Death was there. She can be very...affectionate, if you know what to say."

"And you do?"

"No, but I pretty much adopted her daughter. I have hugging rights."

"Will you still have them after tonight, though?" she asked, pointing across the booth.

Nate followed her gaze to where Yugi and D had passed out, their foreheads resting on the edge of the table. "Well, I did say no. You heard me try to stop them. I told them on the way over here that drinking something like that wasn't humanly possible."

"I suppose they laughed and said they were Muses, not humans?"

"Right. And if their claims are true, they should be fine within an hour."

* * * * *

"The Outlaw Star Outlet?" 18 asked, reading the sign again. "Are you sure you want your fictives from here?"

"Yes," Nate replied with a nod.

"Hey, are you questioning my ability to spot a good fictive source?" Yugi asked, sounding offended.

18 looked down at her. "Yes."

"Oh." Yugi backed off and hid behind Nate. "Just making sure."

Nate shook his head and opened the door. "Yugi, you're on Gene & Jim detail. D, get me a nice Aisha & Suzuka. 18 & I will talk to the man in charge."

The two Muses quickly scampered off to find the desired fictives.

The warehouse was designed like a slightly cheery version of a morgue. The walls were lined with drawers that obviously held the fictives, and there was elevator music echoing throughout the building. In the center of the warehouse was a desk, and behind it sat a fat, bald man with a cigar in his mouth.

"That's the owner, Howard," Nate whispered to 18.

"Seems easy enough," 18 replied, brushing her hair behind one ear. She walked up to the desk and smiled. "Hi, there. My Writer and I are looking for something...special." She put emphasis on the last word.

Howard looked up, and his jaw dropped. The cigar fell to the floor with an audible thump. "Homina homina homina..." he murmured, his eyes growing to the size of dinner plates.

"Still with us, Howard?" Nate asked.

"Yeah, sure." Howard blinked a few times. "What are youse two lookin' for?"

Nate didn't seem to mind that Howard wasn't looking at him. In fact, if any man could look directly at him while 18 was around, the Writer would be very, very scared. "I'm looking for a Homniyo. Would you happen to have any?"

Howard glanced at him, then shifted his gaze back to 18. "You want one of those? You sure?"

"Positive."

"Well, there's sumthin' you should know 'bout them." Howard scratched his head. "Since they're canon, they're all...um...dead."

18 made a face. "You expect us to walk out of here with a dead fictive? What do you think we are, necropheliacs?"

"Most Writers just revive them right here." Howard looked thoughtful. "Although there was that one guy that didn't seem to mind her being dead much. In fact, he-"

"Too much info," Nate interrupted. "Just show me were you keep them."

Howard stood up. "Have to keep 'em in the back, with the Hildas. Y'know, cuz of the smell." He cast one more longing glance at 18 before walking away from the desk.

Nate waved as he followed the man. "Be back soon!"

18 sat on the edge of the desk. She'd only been there for a moment when D returned with a catgirl and a tall woman.

"Did you guys have any luck?" D asked.

"Nate's still looking for the last one, and Yugi hasn't come back yet."

When Yugi finally did come back, she was riding on a man's shoulders. They were followed by a boy that looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep lately.

"Aren't they cute?" Yugi demanded.

18 smirked. "If you like that sort of thing."

Nate returned a few minutes later. He was carrying the body of a small girl in his arms. "I think I got a good one!"

"How can you be so excited about holding a dead body?" Yugi asked. "What are you, a necro-"

"Stop that," 18 interrupted. "I already used that joke."

Nate ignored them both. "Howard, you got any paper with you?"

Howard reached into his desk and came out with a sheet.

Shifting the body to his left hand, Nate scribbled something down.

Instantly, the girl groaned and slowly opened her eyes.

"You could've healed her, or at least cleaned her up a little," D muttered. "She's covered in blood and explosion stuff."

Nate looked extremely apologetic. "Sorry, but I have to keep her this way for a crossover. And it would be wrong to heal her and then put her in this state again." He gently kissed the girl's forehead. "I promise I'll fix you up later."

The girl was much too weak to give her opinion on the matter.

"Well, I guess that's it," the Writer said.

Howard typed some figures into the cash register. "We've got a special. You buy one more fictive, and you get an XGP to fly 'em all home in."

Nate grinned. "In that case, get me a Melfina. Having two couldn't hurt."

"Got that right," Gene agreed with a smile.

"Pig," Jim muttered.

"Are you sure there isn't some sort of discount?" 18 asked, smiling at him.

Howard stared at her for a long moment. "Fifty percent off," he said finally, "but that's as low as I go."

"Deal!" Nate quickly paid Howard. "You're a good man, Howard, no matter what the others say about you."

Howard grinned, then frowned. "Hey, what others?!" he shouted, but Nate was already herding his new fictives out the door.

* * * * *

Gene glared at the Writer. "I still don't see why you get my seat."

Nate didn't even bother to look up as he studied the console. "Relax, Gene. I'm only using it this once, just to get a feel for my next story. I'm not trying to replace you."

Gene still didn't look too pleased.

"Fine. If you stop making faces, I'll think about giving you and Melfina a story all to yourselves."

Gene quickly stopped pouting and glanced at Aisha, who was standing beside him. "Y'know, these guys have taken over the whole ship."

Aisha snorted. "A Ctarl-Ctarl would NEVER allow their ship to be-"

"Oh, shut up!"

"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!"

"I JUST DID!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" D shouted.

The two fictives instantly fell silent.

"Is that all you have to do?" Suzuka asked. "I wish I'd known earlier."

Melfina stared at D in awe. "How can such a loud voice come from such a little person?"

"It's all in the projection," D replied with a grin. "Nice tank, by the way. It makes you look really important."

"Uh...she is important, D," Yugi said. "She's practically piloting the ship."

"I could do that. If I wanted to."

"True, but you wouldn't look half as good as she does while doing it."

Yugi blinked and stared at 18. "What did you just say?"

18 glanced at her. "What?"

"You said she-"

"Time to get going, troops!" Nate said loudly. "Everyone hang onto something!"

Yugi gave 18 a funny look before climbing into her Writer's lap. "Nate, I think something's up with 18," she whispered.

"Like what?" he asked.

"She's acting...weird."

"No, she isn't. She's acting exactly the way I want her to."

"You mean she's supposed to-"

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I haven't decided yet. Just leave her alone, and she'll be fine."

"Just as long as she limits herself to androids, cuz I don't want her-"

Nate smiled. "She won't hit on you, Yugi. Trust me."

"How do YOU know?" Yugi asked. "I AM cute, you know."

"Yes, you remind me three times a day. 18 won't hit on you because I wouldn't let her. Besides, that's my job."

"Hey, there IS another Muse on board!" D said, looking annoyed.

"You mean you're not a pirate?" Jim asked.

D glared at him. "One more peep outta you and you'll be joining your little girlfriend in intensive care."

* * * * *

Amazingly enough (especially considering the temporary members of its crew), the Outlaw Star reached the Dojo & Sake Bar without crashing once.

As soon as Nate was sure that Gene & Aisha wouldn't kill each other, he announced that it was time for him to go home, and that any Muses accompanying him should say their goodbyes immediately.

"Maybe I should stay behind, just to keep an eye on them," D suggested.

"That's not necessary," 18 said. "I'll do it."

D started to argue the point, but Nate shot her a look. "Okay."

"Thanks, 18." Nate gave her an appreciative smile. "I know I can count on you."

"Yeah, yeah. Weren't you leaving?"

"Right. I'll get to work on that series ASAP."

"She didn't have to be rude about it," D muttered as the Outlaw Star took off.

"Well, if Yugi offered to watch me for a while, you'd act the same way," Nate pointed out.

"That's different. 18 can't reach into your head and make you think she's a goddess."

Nate smirked. "D, she doesn't NEED to do that."

"I'm sleepy," Yugi announced, climbing onto Nate's back. "Carry me?"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. D, would you mind?"

"I guess not." D closed her eyes and squeezed her ankh. Instantly, they all found themselves back in Nate's apartment.

"Well. I'm going to bed." Nate adjusted Yugi's position on his shoulders a bit, ignoring the fact that she was already snoring.

"I think I'll sleep at Mom's," D said. "We need to talk about stuff, anyway."

"Say hi for me?"

"Sure." D leaped onto Nate's arm, planted a tiny peck on his cheek, then vanished into thin air.

"Ugh." Nate grunted and shifted Yugi to his arms as he carried her to bed. "That Monster Margarita's weighing you down almost as much as D's Birthday Burrito did her."

"I can HEAR you, y'know," Yugi muttered.

"Yeah, I know. I'm hoping you might never drink those things again."

"Pssh! They put STRAWBERRIES in it!"

"Among the huge amounts of alcohol."

"You're just mad cuz I can drink and you can't."

"Quiet, you."
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Disclaimer: 18 belongs to Akira Toriyama, Sakura belongs to CLAMP, Yugi & D kinda sorta belong to me, and everyone else (save Harold) belong to Sunrise.