Disclaimer: The muses would like to remind everyone that Angel Spirit doesn't own Digimon-just the plot of the fic. The muses would also like to add, that neither Angel Spirit, or her beta-reader are responsible for any words you see squished together.
Author's Notes: Okay, I swear I've caught ALL the mistakes this time! I've decided to go ahead and start revising/editing out some of my fics,and so I thought that I'd start with Confessions-which, is why you guys are probably going to get update notices from me...so to warn you this fic hasn't actually been updated with a new chapter-yet! I AM working on updates for this fic (and shall until it is finished!), but in the process I'm also going to start working on changing this fics mistakes as well as others. (Others meaning Eternity, Different Journey's, and Forevermore) Changes that'll be made in this fic will mostly all be names-they will be changed to their proper Japanese ones (I hope that I get all of them!), and the time setting willchange in the previous chapters-as I changed it from it's original time setting to four years after 04. I kind of estimated ages since I know that ages vary between the Japanese and English version so I hope I created a happy medium here. Anything else that I might change will be small-basically rewording stuff to make it phrased better-so to speak. Anyway, chapter I of Confessions is the first one to get revised, and I'll do the rest of them and then continue on with Forevermore. Lol, it gives me something to do when I'm as bored as I am at work with no projects to do! ((winks)) Enjoy...
(Author's Notes, and story contents of chapter1 revised on November 11, 2005)
Rating: PG13
Warning: This fic contains slash/yaoi...if you don't like male/male pairings or the pairings listed below, then I suggest that you hit that wonderful back button now to the top left of your page...
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji, Izumi/Kouichi/Junpei triangle, and maybe some Shinya/Tomoki at times
Time Setting: Four years after season 04 Ages go as follows: Takuya, Izumi: 14; Kouji, Kouichi: 15; Junpei: 16; and Shinya, Tomoki: 12
Summary: When Kouji's in a horrible car accident with his family, with him as the only survivor, he feels hopelessly lost. But Kouichi and especially Takuya are determined to prove to him that there are still people who truly care for him...and that life is still worth living, even though you feel like your own world is crumbling down around you...
Confessions
Author: Angel Spirit
Chapter I: Unfair
"So I'll see you later on tonight then?" Fourteen-year old Takuya Kanbara grinned as he positioned the phone so that it was easier to hold onto while he set the table in the dining room.
'Yeah...mom and dad said that they'd drop me off at your place before they go on that business trip of theirs. You might have to give me a ride back to my house later on, if that'll be okay with your mom.' Takuya nodded at the other voice on the other phone extension.
"Sure, she already said that wouldn't be a problem...hey...I've got an idea, why don't you justspend the night here? In fact, I'm sure it would be okay with mom if you spent the time while your parentswere away here...only if you want to that of course." He suggested, hoping that the other would take it.
'I'd spend the whole time at your place if I could Takuya. But I can't...I've still got to look after Wolf.' Takuya silently cursed the fact that his best friend-and secret crush-had to have that huge, mangy German shepherd for a pet. Why couldn't he own something simpler to take care of? Something that didn't demand around the clock attention...
'But I can spend the night tonight, I'm sure that Wolf'll be okay one night by himself as mom and dad would've probably fed him already.' This caused Takuya to grin.
"Sounds good...don't worry about getting any of your stuff from your place-you left some things over here last time, remember?" The voice on the other phone chuckled and Takuya practically melted when he heard the other's laughter.
'Yeah, I remember...I can't believe I did that.'
"True...but you spend the night over here so often it was bound to happen anyway...you should just leave the stuff here so that you don't always have to bring your stuff over." He could practically see the wheels turning in the other's mind as they thought about it, and he heard his friend let out a soft snort.
'I should do that. It would be more convenient-for me anyway!' Takuya chuckled as he completed his task of setting the table.
"So you won't be here to join us for dinner?" He asked, a small pout on his face...he heard his friend chuckle as he knew that he was probably picturing the look that Takuya wore on his face right now. That was how predictable he probably was.
'No, I can't...and stop pouting! You'll see me later on tonight. I'd better get going, Kouichi wants to use the phone to call Izumi to tell her he can make that movie that she wanted to see tonight...I can't believe he's going with her to the movie's-when Junpei finds out about this he's gonna have a heyday.' Takuya smiled.
"Yeah, I know...but we'll be there to protect Kouichi, right?" Laughter from the other end of the phone caused Takuya's smile to grow even wider, and his dark brown eyes sparkled.
'Sure. We'll protect Kouichi from the big bad Junpei. Look, Kouichi's practically glaring daggers at me...if looks could kill, I'd be dead.'
Takuya laughed to himself as he heard Kouichi claiming that he was doing no such thing, and his best friend joined him in that laughter.
'Whatever Kouichi, youare sodoing that! Alright, I'll get off the phone so you can talk to your darling Izumi-HEY! You don't need to hit me! So anyway Takuya, I'll see you tonight, okay?' Takuya nodded, happy with the fact that he'd get to see someone he secretly claimed to be his soul mate-his missing link in life.
"Sounds good, I'll see you when you get here then. Bye Kouji." As he hung up the phone after hearing Kouji tell him his own goodbye, he couldn't help but continue to smile as he went ahead and poured the milk for dinner. His mother seemed to notice his cheerfulness, and it was contagious as she grinned back at him and handed him the casserole to put on the table.
"I take it you're happy because Kouji's coming over?" Takuya nodded.
"How'd you know?" His mother let out a soft snort.
"Because, you're always happy when he comes over!" She exclaimed with a knowing smile as she called Shinya away from the video game he was playing in the living room, telling him that it was time for dinner. There would only be three of them that night-Takuya's father was away on a business trip in China for the next couple of weeks.
As Shinya bounded into the dining room in his socked feet, he grinned at his older brother-he'd overheard Takuya's side of the conversation on the phone, and he knew his older brother's secret. In fact, it really wasn't much of a secret in the Kanbara household that Takuya had strong feelings for Kouji Minamoto. Feelings that surpassed friendship by far...
"Takuya and Kouji sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-" The youngest Kanbara didn't get to finish his sentence however, as Takuya took and threw a spare napkin in his little brother's direction, hitting him square in the face.
"Shut up." He muttered, fighting hard to keep the blush that threatened to rise in his cheeks down. Oh, but how he wished what Shinya was saying was true...
He'd really do anything to actually be sitting in a tree with Kouji-perhaps having the dark haired blue gray eyedenigma in his lap, sharing the sweetest of all sweet kisses...among the many they'd already had so far.
Takuya's mother and his little brother shared a knowing look as they saw the dreamy look in Takuya's dark brown eyes, grinning as they knew exactly who it was he was daydreaming about, as he wore the expression throughout dinner. How he managed to daydream as he did and still maneuver food from his plate, onto his fork, and into his mouth without dropping anything in the processwas beyond his mother's imagination.
She chuckled as she stood to clear the table, realizing that Takuya hadn't evennoticed that they were done eating, he was so lost in his thoughts. However, that didn't last long as Shinya took an ice cube from his water glass and promptly shoved it down Takuya's shirt, causing the other to shriek at the momentary discomfort, as he leapt up to get it out of his shirt. When he came back down, he turned and glared at his younger brother, whose face broke into a wide grin.
"Why I'm gonna...you little brat...!" Shinya giggled playfully as he dashed away from Takuya-while the older brunetteheld the ice cube that had fallen from his shirt in his hand. Chasinghis younger brother aroundwitha look of determination on his face, he was more then willingto give Shinya back his ice cube in the same way that he'd received it...
As Takuya had finally managed to catch his younger brother and had playfully managed to get the melting cold ice into his younger brother's pants, watching with a Cheshire catlike grin on his face as Shinya danced around trying to get the ice cube out of his pants (not being very successful about it by the way), neither boy had heard the phone ring.
Takuya was laughing so hard at Shinya's antics that he was holding onto his stomach, trying to stop the tears that threatened to come out as he wiped them away.
When his mother came into the room, holding onto the phone with ashocked expression on her unusually pale face, Takuya's laughter suddenly ceased. Although Shinya was still doing the dance-trying to get the melting ice cube out of his pants-he also quieted down, as he felt that something was horribly wrong.
"Takuya...you...you might want to sit down." Takuya frowned as his mother quickly guided him to the couch, and a crack of thunder rumbled through the air outside, causing the windows of their apartment to rattle at the sudden boom. It caused everyone in the room to jump for a moment, but Takuya wasn't to be distracted.
His mother had something to tell him...and it wasn't good news. He knew that much already.
"Mom, what is it...what's wrong?" She started to shake, and Takuya went to comfort her, but she shook her head.
This made Takuya worry even more. What would scare his mother so badly?
"Mom...?" He whispered, his chest starting to feel a horrible knot of fear as it twisted its way into his stomach.
"Tell me." And she did. But what she told him, he didn't want to hear.
"Takuya...that phone call...that phone call was from Kouichi...Kouichi was calling to tell you that...that...Kouji...oh god, I don't know if I can do this..." Takuya felt his complexion pale, as his mother sank down onto the couch next to him. He had to know...she'd mentioned Kouji...and suddenly he felt his world crashing down around him. Kouji was in trouble...danger...he knew it. He wasn't sure how he knew it...all he knew, was that somethingbadhad happened...and his mother knew what that something was.
"Mom...mom, tell me what happened to Kouji...tell me NOW!" He was shaking like his mother had done a few minutes ago, as he prepared himself for the worst.
Anything was possible...he heard his mother draw in a ragged breath and the room suddenly stilled. To Takuya, it seemed like all time had stopped when he heard what she had to say next.
"Takuya, Kouichi called to tell you that there's been an accident-a bad one-Kouji and his stepmother and father were in a car accident...the accident was apparently caused by a drunk driver...Takuya...Takuya, Kouji's parents didn't survive the accident...they...they died on the site...and Kouji...they're not sure..." Yurikobit her lower lip as she saw how distraught Takuya looked as he took this all in.
Like he couldn't accept it...
And then suddenly his eyes opened wide,as he really, fully realized the horrible news she had had to tell him. And he practically launched himself at her, burying his head into her shoulder as she hugged him closely to her.
"No...no...no..." She heard him whisper over and over again. As she rocked her older son back and forth,YurikoKanbara glanced at her youngest son, who sat on the floor, shocked at having heard such a thing. To him, she knew, Kouji-and Kouichi as well-were like older brothers to him.
"Shinya...go get your coat...and Takuya's too." Shinya nodded, not saying anything as he dashed out of the living room to go and do what he was told.
The youngest Kanbaraspared a glance over at his shoulder at his older brother-having broken down and weeping in their mother's arms-and their mother, looking grief stricken at the news that she had had to share.
Biting down on his lower lip, Shinyahurried todo as he was told. He had the feeling that his mother was going to take them to the hospital-and that Takuya would want to be with Kouji no matter what happened.
He sighed. He knew how much his older brother loved Kouji-he had never seen someone love someone so much...and yet be able to hide it from that person all the same...as Takuya did with the dark haired teen. There were many times when Shinya had wondered why Takuya couldn'tjust gain the courage to tell Kouji that he meant more to him then just friendship.
And now...
Now it might be too late.
He slipped on his shoes and quietly walked out into the living room, seeing that his mother had gotten up from the couch and was gently guiding Takuya to the front door of their apartment as she collected her purse, keys, and her own coat.
She smiled a wan, grateful smile at Shinya as she took Takuya's coat and helped his thunderstruck brother into it. When she opened the door, Shinya saw that it was pouring down rain outside, and winced as lightning crashed into the background of the blackened sky.
"Shinya, hurry, make sure the door is locked behind us." He nodded at their mother's instructions, as he closed the door behind him after making positively sure that it was locked, and followed their mother. Shehad an arm around Takuya's shoulders, using that as an advantage to lead him to the elevator-and once out of the elevator, to the car.
From there on,Shinya prodded Takuya into the backseat and as his mother started the engine, heading quickly out of the apartment's parking lot. Shinya took a moment and glanced over at his older brother.
Takuya did not look like he was taking this well-not well at all.
Well, you wouldn't take news like that of someone you loved and cared deeply for... Shinya thought, and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he glanced at Takuya and saw that his older brother had started to cry for the second time that night.
Not knowing what else to do, Shinya reached over and grasped Takuya's shoulder-letting him know that he was there. Shinya didn't hesitate to put his arms around his older brother as he leaned into him for comfort, still allowing the silent tears to continue falling down his pale cheeks.
Kouji...please be okay...you have to be okay...for my older brother's sake...for all of our sake's... Shinya thought miserably as he continued to hold onto his older brother, praying throughout the ride to the hospital located in Downtown Shibuya...
"So how was your stay at Kouichi's?" Kouji grinned and gave Satomi-his stepmother-a thumbs up as he climbed into the backseat of the van, and watched as his father got into the driver's seat of the car seconds later, after having said goodbye to Kouichi and the twin's mother.
"Sounds like you two had a lot of fun this weekend." Kouji nodded at his father as he started to back out of the parking spot he'd found in the apartment's parking lot whileKouji himself buckled his seat belt.
"Yeah, we had a really good time actually...hey dad?" His father glanced at him through the rear view mirror for a second, their eyes meeting briefly, and Kouji knew that his father was listening as his eyes reverted back to focus on driving.
"Do you mind if you drop me off at Takuya's instead of taking me home? He's invited me to stay the night and I've accepted-Wolf has been fed and walked already, right?" Both his parents nodded, and Kouji grinned.
"I guess I can do that...but don't forget that you're going to have to head home early tomorrow morningto feed Wolf...you know how he gets when he's not fed in time." Kouji chuckled as his father reminded him of this-though he really didn't need to be reminded.
If Wolf wasn't fed in time, he would follow anybody who was around the house constantly- whining with every step that person took until he was fed. The worst part was early in the morning. Wolf seemed to have some kind of internal alarm clock as he always woke up at six am sharp...always wanting to quickly belet out, and then fed-and the person who he usually came to for all ofthis, was Kouji.
Much to his dismay sometimes; he was never able to go back to sleep after doing such a chore. He grinned as he realized that was probably one of the reasons why he enjoyed sleeping over at Takuya's house so much...was that he wasn't woken up by a dog at six am in the morning.
That, and you enjoy spending alone time with Takuya-just admit it already! A small voice in the back of his mind argued with his reasoning, and Kouji snorted softly.
Yeah, he'd admit it...he really did enjoy spending time with Takuya...especially when it was just the two of them. It was really hard saying no to his offer to spend the entiretime that his parents were gone on their business trip, over at Takuya's place...
But that thought right there,got Kouji thinking a little bit more...
"Hey, would you guys mind if Takuya came over and spent a few nights while you guys were away?" He asked suddenly and grinned when his father nodded.
"Sure, as long as you two don't burn down the house." Kousei Minamoto said with a chuckle, and Kouji grinned wider and silently cheered.
He'd extend the invitation to Takuya tonight, after he got to his place.
"Now wait a minute, who says that you get to decide everything Kousei? What if I didn't think it safe for Takuya to come over while we were gone?" Kouji's grin faded after Satomi asked that question, and he silently gulped-wondering why she'd asked such a thing-his stepmother liked Takuya...right? Or so she had told him that she was alright with his strong friendship with the brunette...
"Oh, come on Satomi...Takuya and Kouji are best friends, you've known Takuya for quite awhile know, and you'd have to admit that he's a pretty good kid with a good head on his shoulders-and not to mention Kouji's best friend, as mentioned. I'm sure things'll be okay if Takuya were to stay...it's not like they'd get into any trouble or anything, and this way Kouji won't be alone while we're gone for the week. And I know for a factthat that was what you've beenworrying about the most." Kouji felt relieved-his dad was sticking up for him-and for Takuya as well.
Though he wasn't sure why his stepmother had such a thing against Takuya staying with him while they were gone...unless...
Kouji felt himself grow pale at the thought that just occurred to him.
Had his mother somehow figured out the true feelings that Kouji had for Takuya? But she shouldn't be worried...Kouji wasn't even sure if Takuya liked him back...even though his heart told him that his best friend probably did like him back. He wouldn't do anything to ruin and loose the close friendship that he had gainedwith Takuya since their adventures in the Digital World nearly four years ago.
But had his mother still, somehow figured out that Kouji was interested in Takuya for more then just friendship? He had never really thought about what his stepmother's reaction would be if she were to ever find out that he was gay-he had the feeling that his father was okay with it, andthat his mother and his twin were fine with it as well...as Kouichi had figured out that Kouji had a major crush on Takuya a long time ago...
But Kouji had never really thought about the feelings that his stepmother would have towards such a relationship. In fact, nowthe more Kouji thought about it,he had the strongest feeling that his stepmother didn't like Takuya. She'd always seemed friendly with him...always seemed to get along perfectly fine with Takuya. But now, as Kouji recalled the many times that he'd invited Takuya to come over, those feelings always seemed to be forced.
And he glared at his stepmother, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest-completing the rebelliious look, as realization struck him hard.
"You don't like Takuya." He simply said, and she sighed as she turned to face him.
"It's not that I don't like Takuya...it's just that I wish you had other friends Kouji...more friends to hang out with. Takuya is a great kid and all, but he seems to be holding you back." As his stepmother said this, Kouji was surprised at the growl of anger that escaped his throat, and he didn't miss the surprised look that his father sent toward his stepmother either.
"Now Satomi, don't forget that Kouji also has Kouichi, that nice girl Izumi, Junpei, and even young Tomoki that he hangs out with...he's got other friends...can't someone have a best friend? They are so hard to come by these days..." Kouji could practically hear the thoughts in his father's head.
'And it's been so long since Kouji's had actual friends...friends he's truly cared about...the way he cares for Takuya...'
He agreed with those thoughts...that is, if they were at all similar to whathe himself was thinking.
"Mom, I'd never let go of the friendship that I have with Takuya-he meansso much to me and-" Kouji paused suddenly, as he caught the look in his stepmother's dark blue eyes...they were very angry looking...he'd never seen such a look in her eyes before.
And he sighed heavily as he felt himself squirm a bit under her dark glare, relieved when his father put a hand on her arm and she focused that cold look on Kousei instead of him.
"That's enough Satomi! It's fine, if Kouji wants Takuya to come over while we're gone; in fact I prefer it to him being alone-just no wild parties or anything like that, okay Kouji?" Kouji nodded...wanting the car ride to Takuya's place to be done and over with, so that way he could get out of the car and away from the thick tension in the atmosphere that had suddenly been created.
Suddenly he didn't want to be in his stepmother's presence very much.
"I still don't like the idea. I don't want Takuya over." Satomi whined,sounded very much like an angry, spoiled little girl who hadn't gotten her way...which was the case-she hadn't gotten her way...and Kouji snorted at the childlike behavior.
"Dad says its fine. I don't see why you're against it-it's not like Takuya and I are going to have sex or anything." Even Kouji was surprised at what he had said, as his dark blue gray eyes opened wide with terror. Why had he said that...?
Maybe he'd said it to prove something, he didn't know. But his mind practically reeled when he felt his stepmother harshly slap him in the face a couple of seconds later. His hand shook as he blinked away the black spots that hazed his vision, as he brought the shaking hand up to the spot where his mother's wedding ring had cut into his cheek from the slap.
"SATOMI!" Kouji winced at his father's angry bellow.
"I don't want to hear things like that...especially from our son! Gay relationships aren't right..." As Kouji heard her hiss out the comment, his own dark blue grayeyes narrowed at her in retaliation .
"Gay people aren't bad people...you probably wouldn't even know a gay person even if you were looking them directly in the eyes! They're just like you and me Satomi...they're not abnormal, they've got feelings just like the rest of us." Again, his stepmother turned around and looked like she was preparing to slap him again and Kouji found himself not shrinkging back, butholding his ground...however, before anything could happen his father reached out and quickly grabbed a hold ofSatomi's wrist, still keeping an eye on the road in front of them-the otherhand stillsteadily holdingonto the steering wheel.
Kouji noticed that it was starting to rain pretty heavily-it was pouring down rain actually, and he jumped for a second, when he saw a flash of lightning crossing the darkened sky, and heard thunder rumbling in the close by distance a few seconds later.
"If you hit my son again Satomi, I swear to god..."
"He shouldn't be defending gay people Kousei! Gays are dirty, perverted...their relationships uncalled for!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Kouji had never heard his father sound so angry before in his life and he winced at the strong angry note that his voice held.
He even saw his stepmother shrink back into her seat.
He swallowed hard, as though to say something-but what he had wanted to say and what he said next, were two completely different things.
Fear was clearly shownin his dark blue gray eyes, as lightning flashed once more-illuminating the hideously darkpath before them.
But the lightning also caused Kouji's eyes to divert from their argument to the road. And his eyes opened wide as he saw what was going to happen as he desperately tried to get his father's attention, so that it was back to what he was supposed to bedoing-which, was driving-instead of defending him from his stepmother's sudden stupidity and obnoxiousness.
"DAD! LOOK OUT!" He hollered out the warning, and heard his stepmother scream loudly at the same time when they both realized the sudden horrible predicament that they were going to be in, his father cursed over and over again as he tried to slam on the brakes...
Kouji felt the car start to skid, as his father lost control and he was slammed against the window. Slammed so hard, that saw stars in front of his darkeyes.
He didn't quite remember what happened after that...a lot of screaming...too much screaming...the screaming from his stepmother and his father...the screaming of tires on the street, wet and slippery from the rain-the screaming of cars as they slammed into each other, and glass breaking everywhere...
And then Kouji knew no more...
All he heard were sirens. And the noise was deafening.
He thought he heard himself groan, but he wasn't sure. All he felt was pain-immense pain...he struggled to move, and almost cried out when he found out that he couldn't. It was too painful-he was trapped...
He could smell the smoke; feel the heat from a fire somewhere close by.
His eyes fluttered shut once more...
When he came too again, he didn't think that he'd been out long. He heard voices...frantic voices...more screaming...someone shouting orders.
He blinked away the tears that threatened to come from the smoke-there was so much of it; his mind was racing as he tried to figure out what was going on.
His eyes closed again as those shouts drew nearer...and this time they didn't open again.
"THERE'S SOMEONE ALIVE HERE! HURRY UP!" As one of the rescue crewmen shouted this, after having found a young teen trapped in the backseat of the torn up van, other's rescuers rushed to help him.
They had the unconscious teenager out within a matter of a half an hour, rushing him to the ambulance that was on sight.
"Hang on kid; you're going to be okay...you're lucky..." One of the male med officers murmured to the unconscious teen on the stretcher as they got it quickly into the ambulance.
"Do we know who this kid is...who to contact?" The same med officer asked, as another one-female this time-nodded and held up the ID tags that she had found hanging from the unconscious teenager's neck.
"Yeah...all the information we need is right here. He's Kouji Minamoto, and his address is written down as well as a couple of phone numbers...one of them which I hope we can reach someone to let them know what's going on so that they can be here for him." She replied, and the male medic from earlier nodded as he helped stabilize Kouji the best way they could...the rest was up to the doctors when they got him to the hospital and into the ER.
"As soon as we get in there hand those ID tagsover to whoever is manning the front desk, and tell them to call those numbers right away. If the kid's got any other family than those who were with him in the vehicle, they should know what's going on ASAP." Again, the female medic nodded and as they got to the ER, helped her fellow medics get thestretchermovingbefore she turned around and called out the woman's name who was sitting at the front desk.
"JUDY!" The short hairedblonde turned around and caught the tags that were tossed to her from the short distance.
"Call this kids family-or whoever's number is on those ID tags-and let them know that Kouji Minamoto was in an accident with his parents-that his parents didn't survive...and that he's in critical condition himself." The woman named Judy nodded, brushing away the sudden tears that threatened to come into her eyes.
She hated it when things like this happened to good people. She had the feeling that Kouji Minamoto didn't deserve any of this...
And she was right about that one, she knew she was. She hated making phone calls like the one she had to make-the first number she had dialed was the number to Kouji Minamoto's home she knew that, the second she got the answering machine...the second one, was to other family-a twin he apparently had. She found that out when she asked who it was that she was talking to, and how he was related to Kouji Minamoto.
She hated the sounds of someone else breaking down, distraught because of unfortunate circumstances.
She hated her job even more, when about a half an hour or so later-if not less then that Kouji's other family-and a sad looking brunette, burst into the reception area of the ER-demanding to know about Kouji...
TBC
End Note: Now that I'm re-reading parts of this, I was really evil with this ending for a first chapter, wasn't I? ((grins madly)) What can I say ((shrugs)) evil cliffhangers are my specialty! Lol. Anyway, Kouji's part of the story was in italics because it was somewhat of a flashback...basically that was what was going on between the time that Takuya got off the phone with Kouji, and when Kouichi called Takuya to let him know about the accident-I hope that makes sense, since I didn't get many complaints about it, I think it did...on with the next chapter, ne?