Summary: Sirius is called in to baby-sit little Harry Potter while James and Lily are out for the night. It's a shame he's had no previous experience watching small children…

A/n: Uh-oh…Noodlez is on the loose again…but this time she's not writing an angst fic! [gasp!] And it's not a one-shot either! [double gasp!] No, this time she's writing a humor fic in the world of Harry Potter! Previously, Noodlez had ventured into the insane-Harry Potter-fan fiction genre only with co-writers to keep her in check; but as her friend Duckie has neglected to send poor Noodlez the 3rd installment of the OFG ficcies, Noodlez has been forced to find other ways to use her lunacy! (Yes, Duckie, I'm still aiming for that guilt trip, and Sirius can't seem to find his armor to defend you this time! lol! I still love you Duckie!) Special thanks to Bond for inspiring this and Eryn for being so patient with me!

Disclaimer: I may not own Harry Potter, but I will SOON own a very lovely piece of Sirius Black fan art drawn by none other than Eryn the Shrub (see Lord of the Rings Karaoke Dance Party)!! And none of you [points to readers] can have it! Nyah!

Chapter one: Lily's Expectations

Sirius landed his motorbike in a disorderly fashion on the lush grass of his best friends' home at dusk. Grinning lopsidedly, he dismounted and sauntered up to the front door. Reaching up, he grasped the bronze doorknocker. It was shaped like a lion's head; you could expect no less from Godric Gryffindor's ancestral home. He knocked twice and the door was answered almost immediately by a ruffled-looking James Potter.

"Finally," James said, holding open the door and allowing Sirius to enter, "Lily's going stark raving mad, she's not too keen on leaving Harry alone."

"Alone? He's not going to be alone! I'll be here with him." Sirius said.

James smiled apologetically, adjusting his tie, "Well, as far as she's concerned, that's not much better."

"Oh?"

The pair walked into the lavishly furnished living room.

"Why is that?" Sirius asked.

"Why's what?"

"Why does Lily think I'm just as bad as leaving Harry alone?"

"Oh…Well, maybe it has something to do with the last time you watched Harry…" James offered.

"But his hair grew back! And the flood didn't even leave water stains!" Sirius tried to argue his point.

"I know, mate, I know. But Lily…she, erm…well…" James was lost for words and trying not to laugh.

"Maybe she is having a hard time allowing the same reckless adult watch her infant son again!" James and Sirius turned to find Lily with her hands on her hips. Her dark red hair was done up elegantly and she was wearing a silk formal gown that matched her eyes, but neither James nor Sirius let her delicate appearance fool them. She strode forward and shook a gloved finger in Sirius's face. "James may be on your side, which leaves me momentarily outnumbered, but I swear, Sirius Black, if ONE HAIR is out of place on my son's head--"

Sirius interrupted, "How could you even tell? It's as messy as James's!"

"--when we get home, I'll hex you into next week!" Lily finished, jabbing Sirius in the chest with her finger.

Sirius held his hands up in mock-surrender, "I promise! I'll take better care of Harry than Moony did with his school books!"

Lily bit back a grin, narrowed her eyes in a semi-threatening manner, then turned to her husband, "Alright, I think this is a bad idea…but it is just for the night." She looked at Sirius, "Maybe you can redeem yourself."

James winked at Sirius, then grabbed Lily's jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"Baby food and formula are in the top cabinet, feed him, bathe him, and get him to bed before eight o'clock." Lily instructed Sirius, who had conjured a notepad and was making a show of taking detailed notes. "Oh, don't be such a wise-ass, Sirius!"

Sirius grinned cheekily at Lily, "Can't help it. It's just my nature."

James snickered, "We know, Padfoot. It always has been."

Sirius bowed and Lily threw her hands up in frustration, "Honestly, you two!" She rounded on James, "How can you expect to be a good example for our son if you continue to act like you did at Hogwarts?!" She then turned to Sirius, "And you! You're supposed to be responsible too! You're his godfather!"

"Yes, Lily," James said soothingly, "but there's no harm in a little fun, is there?"

James and Sirius both adopted the sweetest, most innocent faces they could manage. Lily eyed them shrewdly, then finally smiled.

"No, I supposed not," she relented, Sirius and James high-fived each other and Lily continued, "if we're all mature about it."

"Aw, Lily! You take the fun out of everything!" Sirius moaned.

Lily nodded curtly and smiled, "My one goal in life!"

"Alright, alright," Sirius rubbed his hands together, "now where is the little munchkin?"

"He's upstairs in his crib." James replied, grabbing Lily's hand and tugging her towards the front door.

"Have Harry in bed by eight!" Lily called as she was dragged away, "If he's fussy, read to him! There's books by the crib!"

Sirius followed his friends to the door, "Yes, yes, books, okay."

"Lukewarm bath water, and DON'T leave it running this time!"

"Right, lukewarm, watch the water, check." Sirius nodded, trying to shut the door.

Lily latched onto the doorframe to hurl one last threat, "One thing gone wrong, Sirius! I mean it!"

"Don't worry," Sirius laughed, "I fear your wrath enough to be on my best behavior!"

Finally, Lily seemed satisfied and smiled sweetly, "Okay then, you two have fun."

"Well be home around midnight, Padfoot." James gave him the thumbs up, "Try not to muck this up, alright, mate?"

"Who, me? Never! I'm a responsible adult!" Sirius replied.

James opened his mouth to make a snide remark, but found the door shut in his face. He laughed and turned to Lily who was still smiling. They both chuckled as they heard the locks click into place signaling for them to go away.

"Locked out of our own house, hm?" she giggled.

"Aw, who cares, we're out for a night on the town!" James replied, offering his arm to Lily, who took it. "Shall we go then, love?"

"Lets do."

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Sirius shut the door before he had to listen to any ribbing James was going to give him.

"Alright then, time to go get Harry…"

Sirius climbed the stairs and entered the nursery. In the crib in the corner, little Harry sat gurgling and giggling as he reached for the tiny charmed Qudditch balls spinning above him. The balls circled lower and lower and Harry cooed sweetly and made a quick grab for the small, winged, golden ball. Sirius found himself smiling proudly at his godson. He strode over as the Qudditch balls began to rise again and bent over the edge of the crib.

"Already preparing for your House team, eh?" he questioned the child below him. "Of course you are. You're going to be great, it's in your blood."

Harry smiled toothlessly and stretched his arms out to Sirius.

"You want up? Well, alright, I think I can help with that." Sirius reached into the cradle and took Harry into his arms. Harry giggled happily and Sirius couldn't help but smile again. "Well then, Harry, I think we should find something to eat, don't you?"

Harry clapped and Sirius laughed as he exited the nursery and headed for the kitchen.

A/n: End chapter one! I told you it wasn't a one-shot! Wow, isn't that amazing?! Please leave me a review!! I love feedback…I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! That's right, reviewers get cookies! No…not my Oreos… snatches bag away I don't share those…Anywho, tell me if I should continue!