She watched him from her office, the cloud of sadness hovering all around him. He hadn't left Victor's side since she and Matthias had moved him back into the Med Lab. Helena looked down at the note in her hands, afraid of what it might do to him once he read it; but she had promised Victor. She walked up behind him, laying a soft hand on his shoulder.

"You should get some sleep, John."

He shook his head, "I can't leave him, Helena."

"It wasn't your fault. Victor knows that."

"I should have been able to stop it."

Helena knelt next to him, covering his hand with hers. "How, John? An alien life form had control of you. Victor would never blame you for this. You know that."

He nodded. "That's the worst part."

Helena stood, and handed him the note. "He wanted you to have this."

Koenig looked up at her as he took the folded piece of paper. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then Helena brushed her hand across his cheek, and left him alone. With shaking hands, Koenig opened the note and read the hastily written words.

John:

Please forgive me for what I'm about to do, because in the end, I know you will suffer tremendously for it. But I believe it to be in the best interest of Alpha, and that must outweigh any other considerations. It is my hope if you're reading this, that everything did turn out for the best, and my choice was the right one. There are so many things that I should have told you, John, and for these omissions, I am deeply sorry, as there is not time now but to tell you one. I would like you to remember that even in the darkest of moments, there is hope. For I was devastated you see, when my son was taken from me; I believed I would never again know joy. But then one summer at Oxford, I found him, and I remembered what it meant to love. You have given me so much more than you will ever know. I could not be prouder of the man you have become, John, nor could I love you more if you were my own.

I will be with you always in spirit,

Victor

The note crumpled in Koenig's fist as he bent forward in his chair, sobbing. He felt the soft hands tighten around his shoulders, and leaned into her embrace. Helena held him close, gently rocking him.

"It's okay, John. I'm here with you."

For a long time, Koenig wept. Helena let go of him only after she felt the last of his sobs dissipate. She knelt next to his chair, and looked up into his swollen, red eyes, but waited for him to speak.

His voice was soft with forlorn sadness, "Isn't there anything we can do?"

She shook her head, "I'm afraid not, John. By all rights, he shouldn't have lasted this long. His injuries were quite severe." She saw the guilt flash in his eyes, and she touched his hand. "I didn't mean that you--"

"--I know you didn't, but I can't help the way I feel."

Helena saw the crumpled note in his hands and gently pulled it from him. He held her eyes with his for a long moment before looking away in acquiescence. Carefully Helena opened the crinkled paper, straightening it out to read. Her eyes filled with tears, which slowly slid down her face. When she finished, she gently folded the note back into its original shape, and silently handed it to Koenig.

"I never knew Victor had a son."

"His wife and son were killed in a car crash more than thirty years ago."

Helena glanced over at the still figure on the bed, the glint of the gold band on his right pinky finger suddenly becoming clear. "His ring...."

"It was his wedding band. He never could bear the idea of being without it." Tears filled his eyes, but none fell. "The summer I met Victor at Oxford, my parents died. I was devastated. I had never been so alone, as I was those first few weeks after. I remember one night, I couldn't even cry myself to sleep. Victor found me wandering the halls of the dormitory, inconsolable. He sat on the edge of my bed all night long, and just held my hand. The following year I was supposed to begin studies at MIT, but I quickly realized that it would be impossible for me to afford all of it without them, so I withdrew before I ever started."

"But John, you graduated from MIT."

He looked at the man lying a few feet away. "Yes, I did. But only because of Victor. He took care of me, Helena; everything I am is because of him." He turned back to face her, tears running down his cheeks. "I'll be lost without him."

"There is something you can do for him, John."

His eyes brightened slightly, "What?"

"Let him go. I think you're the reason he's still hanging on. He needs to know you'll be all right, John. He needs to hear you say that it's okay for him to go." She could see the strength of the emotions swirling behind the blue eyes. "I know it's hard, but if you love him, you'll let him go."

Koenig looked up at her sharply, the words raising a memory. And he knew there was no choice. Victor would hate lying in a bed, unconscious. John stood up, and took Helena's hands in his own. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Can I have a few minutes with him?"

"I'll be in my office when you need me."

He watched her walk into her office, closing the door behind her. John turned toward the bed, and screwing up his courage, stepped over to it, and sat on the edge. He picked up the hand closest to him and held it between his.

"I wish I could talk to you right now, Victor." He rubbed the cold hand between his gently. "I couldn't have made it this far without you, and how I'm going to get by without you to lean on, I don't know. I can only promise to do my best to try and make you proud of me. Helena says if I love you, I'll let you go now. Well I do love you, Victor, and that's why it's so difficult to lose you. But I don't want you to suffer another moment of pain." John leaned in close to the man who had become his second father. "I want you to go to your rest, Victor, and know that you'll always be in my heart."

Koenig closed his eyes as tear after tear rolled down his face, falling onto Victor's cheeks. John couldn't bear to watch the moment that Victor Bergman would cease to exist. His emotions had become so overwhelming, he thought he felt the hand in his move, but he knew that was impossible. The weak voice a moment later, however, could not be ignored.

"John?"

Koenig's eyes snapped open, and Victor sleepily looked at him. John smiled, and softly wiped away his own tears from the older man's face.

"Decided to stick around?"

Bergman's mouth twisted into a slight grin, "Can't trust you to leave you alone." His voice was a bare whisper, "You all right, John?"

Koenig wiped the tears from his own face, "I'm fine now."

Victor smiled, "I guess we both are."

Bergman grasped Koenig's hand tightly as Helena walked back into the room. She leaned over her patient, quickly checking his condition.

"Welcome back."

"Thank you."

Helena put an arm around John's shoulders, "He isn't completely out of the woods yet, you know, we should let him get some sleep."

John looked down at Victor, and said, "I'm just going to sit here with him until he falls asleep. Someone did that for me once when I needed it."

Helena kissed Koenig's cheek, then leaned over and kissed Victor's forehead. "Alpha was certainly boring without the two of you in it."

The two men laughed softly as she left the Med Lab.

Victor's eyelids were growing heavy, and his voice was laden with sleep. "You make sure to hold onto that one John."

"I plan to. Now go to sleep."

"Whatever you say, my boy....."

Victor's voice drifted off as sleep overcame him. John Koenig held his mentor's hand until he was sound asleep, then quietly tucked him tightly under the blanket, and headed for his quarters. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept. But as he passed down the corridor by Dr. Russell's room, he thought better of sleep.....