The Clarity of Words
Disclaimer: Character's aren't mine. All JK Rowling's. Lucky her.
Rating: PG
Summary: Trapped in a Room with Malfoy for the night, Hermione finds herself tortured to death by his horrible singing voice.
===Note===
This is completely different from anything I have written before. So, for those of you looking for my angst driven goodies, you won't find it here. I wrote this simply because I needed a break from all the tears and pain of my other story. But don't worry, I have not put Remnants of Life on hold, in fact, I have another chapter on its way very soon. =)
Anyways, hope you enjoy this one shot. It is purely intended to entertain with immature and sarcastic insults. Much love to my beta, Ashley. Thank you very much for the quick edit!
The Clarity of Words
"So, when I said 'don't open that book,' did you take it to mean 'open that book'?" Hermione asked dryly as she torturously banged her head against the wall. The repetitive action calmed her nerves to the point where her murderous thoughts could be repressed. She soon felt confident that her hands would not be wrapping around his neck of their own accord.
"You could have told me what would happen if I opened the book," Malfoy responded coldly as he held her gaze.
"Well I assumed 'No! Stop!' would at least lead to a pause. How was I to know I was speaking to an imbecile incapable of simple direction?"
All fault leading to their current predicament was his, Hermione decided with extreme stubbornness. She was practically an innocent bystander, interested only in some midnight reading in the library.
That is what she told herself anyway, as she reflected on her ill luck and his unwanted presence. At least he had the decency to retreat to the opposite side of the room, as far from her as possible. Perhaps that was more to do with preserving his own life from her violent thoughts, than showing her some kindness.
Unable to sleep, Hermione had crept from her dormitory that night in search of some form of entertainment. That being for her, books. Finding however, that there was nothing unread remaining, she summoned what little of her rule breaking courage she had, and proceeded to the library.
All had been well as she settled herself with a massive volume, that is, until an unexpected visitor caught her attention. Discarding her reading material, Hermione had cautiously crept between the shelves to investigate the cause of the disturbance. She found Malfoy crouched on the floor in the Restricted Section with a dusty volume in his hands.
Shared experience between Harry, Ron and herself had left her with the knowledge that not all books in the Restricted Section enjoyed being read. In fact, certain volumes seemed to include their own alarm system, which never failed to attract attention.
Malfoy apparently, did not know this. And, despite her hasty efforts to prevent him, he opened the book, and was met with a blood curdling scream.
Things became rather rushed thereafter, as both turned to hear the sound of footsteps fast approaching. Having no intention serving detention, Malfoy had swiftly placed the book back and charged from the library as if escaping from the gates of hell. Hermione, inexperienced in such a situation, had followed him against her better judgment, simply because reason had deserted her.
Looking back now, she realized that it most likely would have been preferable to face the wrath of Filch. Instead, she now found herself hiding like a coward in some empty cold room in the west portion of the castle.
"Will you please stop glaring at me?" Malfoy demanded.
Hermione didn't even realize she was staring. The resentful look which was reserved for him alone came so naturally.
"I'm sorry, it's just rare for me to see an ego so large accompanied by a mind so small," she mused thoughtfully. The seriousness of her voice as she spoke drew a scowl from him.
"That's quite amusing, Granger. I'm amazed at your talent, really. Tell me, how do you accomplish the impossible and turn an already horrible situation into hell a thousand times over?"
"Ah yes, my talents are plentiful and varied," Hermione replied as the corners of her mouth tugged into an uncontainable smile. "I especially enjoy expressing this one though. It's so nice to be able to share it with you," she sang sweetly.
She noticed him clenching his jaw. It brought her unspeakable joy to see the frustration she was creating. He was to be blamed for this little situation after all. Therefore, he deserved the proper punishment. And she found herself more than willing to provide said punishment.
"So, how long will we be trapped here?" he asked, choosing to ignore her attempts at provoking him.
"Until Filch passes."
"And when will that be?" he persisted.
"I don't know. Why don't you stick your head out and see?" Hermione snapped. It was astonishing how quickly he tested her temper.
"You know, before now, I never thought it possible for the entire world's bitterness to be embodied in one person," he said with a smirk. "But then again, you have never ceased to amaze me."
"Aw, Malfoy. That was almost a compliment. I appreciate it greatly." Her words were met with a scowl.
==========
"Will you stop whistling!?" Hermione Granger, levelheaded Gryffindor, had reached her breaking point. It would have been highly preferable to spend the past half hour in silence. Malfoy however, intended for something else entirely.
"Say please," he responded smugly.
Murder was looking more and more reasonable. What did it matter if she would have to serve life in Azkaban? The simple knowledge that she had wiped that irritating smirk off his face would satisfy her for the remainder of her days in captivity.
"Let me hear you say 'Please', Granger..."
I will not curse him. I will not strangle him...
"I don't see why it's so difficult; it's a simple word really."
I will not beat him unconscious. I will not...
Malfoy continued whistling. His tone grew louder. Hermione decided this was how she was going to die; trapped in a cell of a room with Malfoy, and tortured by his voice.
"Come now, Granger. I think it's a rather catchy tone." His eyes were enthused as he taunted her. "But, if you want me to stop, all you have to do is ask nicely."
Her fingers twitched as she imagined them wrapping around his throat. It was a satisfying thought. Thou shall not kill...
Hermione closed her eyes tightly in frustration. Unfortunately, that didn't shut out the sound. The volume of his voice was increasing, she was sure of it.
Malfoy paused. "Oh," he remarked innocently, "am I bothering you?"
Hermione lunged at him. The suddenness of her action took him by surprise. Shielding himself with his arms, Malfoy rolled over backwards with her above. Next thing he knew, he was being jabbed and kicked by a frenzied witch, who had apparently lost her mind.
"Ouch! What in bloody hell are you doing!?" he panted, trying desperately to defend himself.
At his words, Hermione paused, seeming to come to her senses. Her eyes grew wide when she realized that she had Malfoy pinned to the floor. So much for self control, she thought bitterly.
"Oh, um, my mistake..." she stuttered as she removed her weight from his abdomen. Really now, what had he expected when he decided to provoke an ill tempered Gryffindor?
Hastily, she retreated as far from her victim as possible. She watched as Malfoy sat up, rubbing his bruises with displeasure.
"I should report you for your harassment, Granger," he informed her darkly. "A couple of weeks of detention would do you good."
"Really? And are you planning on joining me in said detention for browsing through the Restricted Section in the dead of night?"
"Sure, why not? We can have a delightful repeat of tonight's insightful discussions," Malfoy threatened, with exaggerated cheer. Hermione realized, with quite a bit of regret, that he had her cornered. Whatever punishment she received for her actions could not compare with serving time with Malfoy.
"So... what were you doing in the Restricted Section?" Hermione questioned.
"Oh, a bit of light reading," he answered causally, with his eyes carefully adverted.
"Purely for amusement I presume?"
"Of course," he answered before abruptly forming a counter attack. "And what may I ask were you doing in the library at midnight?"
"A bit of light reading," she mocked, copying his earlier words and tone.
"Really, Granger, can't you invent a better story than that? Repeating mine is hardly believable," Malfoy sarcastically replied, drawing an exasperated sigh from Hermione.
This is hell, she thought miserably. Most assumed hell was an underground cavern of torturous flames and screaming souls. Hermione however, realized it only had to consist of a sarcastic little ferret for it to be considered unbearable. Slowly, she banged her head against the wall. The dull thuds drowned out her thoughts. Perhaps if she continued long enough, she could render herself unconscious. The theory gave her hope.
"That noise in unbearable, Granger." She looked over to see him rubbing his temple.
A wicked thought blossomed in Hermione. She increased her pace and began tapping her foot also. The sounds created echoed in the chamber.
"Oh, but isn't the rhythm enchanting? I thought you might enjoy it since you adore primeval music so much," she taunted. Revenge was satisfying. "You know, perhaps you want to join in with your whistling. We can orchestrate an entire concert together."
She noticed him clench and unclench his jaw. Not a word sounded from his lips.
Gryffindor: One, Slytherin: Zero, Hermione thought merrily.
"Why must you be so aggravating?" he finally asked.
"Ah, but I reserve that part of my personality only for you," she replied smugly. Hermione had no intention of suffering by herself. If she was to lose her sanity in this hell, she was taking him with her.
"Oh, I feel quite honored," Malfoy said pleasantly. She detected his irritation nevertheless.
"Yes, you should."
"I feel the need to return the favor. Perhaps through song, since 'Weasley is Our King' was such a success." No words could describe the utter horror felt at the thought of Malfoy breaking into song.
"Really? Are you actually planning on a 'Granger is Our Queen' version?"
"Excellent idea! Let's see...how shall it begin..." With a thoughtful expression, Hermione watched him sink into contemplation.
"Granger doesn't know a thing."
Oh lord, this was not happening, Hermione thought miserably.
"She is just plain irritating,"
Ideas emerged as to how she could render herself deaf.
"And that is why I, Malfoy sing"
She realized he really could not carry a tune.
"Granger is our Queen!"
"That was horrible; it barely rhythmed," Hermione said calmly as his song ended.
"I tried," Malfoy responded with a hurt expression.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose I shouldn't ridicule you if that is the best you can do..."
"You know, it's funny how your apology is more insulting than sympathetic," he mused with fake interest.
They fell into silence when she refused to respond.
==========
"I think it's safe to go out now," Hermione remarked some time later. Pressing her ear against the door, she heard not a sound nearby.
"Good, you first," he replied, with an exaggerated gesture toward the entryway.
"Oh, how thoughtful of you to let me be the first to get caught."
"Better you than me, I say," Malfoy answered with a smirk.
"Thanks a bunch."
"No problem." His smile only widened. She had to bite her lip to cease the rising insults.
Opening the door a finger's width, Hermione peeked through the crack into the darkened corridor. Seeing nothing, she cautiously poked her head out to be certain.
"Well, go on!" Malfoy urged, giving her back a slight shove.
"Stop pushing me!"
"Let's just hurry up and so we can get the hell out of here."
"If you're so eager, why don't you lead?" she challenged.
"Because I don't fancy another detention," he answered matter-of-factly.
"And I do?"
"Well you've had less of them so it's only fair." With that, he forcefully pushed her into the hallway.
Hermione would blame him entirely for what happened next.
"Ha! I knew there were students lurking around the castle after dark. Wait till Dumbledore hears about this!" Filch appeared suddenly from the shadows, trailed by his horrid cat. It was a wonder how the man could materialize from thin air.
Before Hermione could open her mouth in defense, Filch had continued on to possible punishments.
"Detention for you both!" he said gleefully. "Oh, what shall I make you do...clean the bathrooms, or care for those monstrous creatures Hagrid's now raising? Ah, the ideas are endless!"
Hermione and Malfoy both stared up at him in horrified wonder.
Seeming to finally notice their expressions, Filch's smile only widened. "Return to your dormitories, you two. You'll be informed of what you will be doing for your detention soon enough."
Seeing their chance, Hermione hurried away from the caretaker at a practical sprint. She heard Malfoy follow her example, a few paces behind.
"It seems you will be enjoying more time in my company, Granger. Don't you feel blessed?" Malfoy spoke cheerfully as they rounded the corner.
Hermione groaned out loud and refused to answer to his humorless joke. A second serving of hell seemed to be on its way.
- End -
===Note====
Very different, no? Yes, I know it's rather pointless. But, my own angst fics were starting to depress me, so I began this little one shot. Anyways, review for me please.
-Captive